It Started With a Shot
by ValkyrieXo
Summary: All it took was one look and he was hooked. Kaidan couldn't get the beautiful native american woman off his mind. He had hoped that he could forget about her on his mission. Until she showed up on the Normandy. This was going to be interesting... the focus of this is the relationship between Kaidan and my Shepard, starting in ME1 and continuing onward
1. The First Time He Saw Her

Disclaimer: The Mass Effect Franchise and characters belong to BioWare. But Aela is all me:)

* * *

(Kaidan's side….)

The club was louder and had way too many lights for his taste. He skimmed the crowed looking for his friends who had asked him to meet them there, one last guy's night before he shipped out tomorrow.

"Kaidan! Up here!" he barely heard his friend shouting from the balcony level. He waved in acknowledgement and made his way up.

"Heads up!" someone shouted at him and he barely ducked out of the way as a bottle flew past his head. One of the guys had thrown it biotically to show off. "Sorry" The Kid apologized to him as some bouncers carried him out.

"Hey we weren't sure you were going to come" his friend said greeting him.

"Why would you think that? I said I would" Kaidan replied.

"Well, ugh, we know how the loud noises and flashing lights isn't really your thing." He stammered.

"Na, its fine I don't mind. It would do me good once in a while Craig, thanks for asking me to come." Kaidan smirked not sure he even believed himself. Craig was right. He already had a migraine starting to crawl its way out .

"Woo one last night together just the guys!" another friend shouted. Kaidan feigned a smile for his friends.

"Well who else would be here? None of us know any girls." Kaidan jested at the remark

"Oh you got jokes Alenko?" the friend playfully retorted. "Well we plan to fix that tonight!" _Shit_. He groaned internally. His friends where _always_ trying to set him up with a girl. They just couldn't seem to understand he wanted more than a one night stand. And he definitely hadn't found a girl interesting enough to be serious with.

"So, Alenko which one of these girls in the most beautiful to you?" Craig asked leaning on the balcony rail and gesturing toward all the crowed. Kaidan reluctantly walked over to the railing and leaned over resting on his forearms.

"Firstly they aren't girls." Kaidan corrected. "Because that would be illegal"

Craig sighed in annoyance "Oh, here we go." He muttered to himself. Rolling his eyes while he took a long drink.

"And secondly I don't know why you guys keep doing this. You know I'm not going to find anyone here." Kaidan said gesturing to the sea of people.

"Where are you going to find someone than?" Craig teased with a playful pat.

"Why does it bother you?" Kaidan's aggravation was noticeable in his voice.

"Because it's not healthy living like a hermit like you do man." He friend pointed out. Kaidan shook his head.

"What? I don't live like a hermit." He protested.

"Yes you do. All you do is work. When you're on shore leave all you do is see your parents or volunteer to help out somewhere else." Craig complained. Kaidan was staring into the crowed hoping a bomb would go off to save him from this discomfort.

"So you're telling me it's wrong to visit my parents and give to charity." He sighed.

"No I'm saying you need to get laid once in a while too." Craig said giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder and taking a long drink. Kaidan brought his right hand to his head and rubbed his eyes in exasperation. He stood upright placing both hands on the rail and hung his head.

"Craig you have known me for years. I don't just sleep around with people. It's just not me. You know that." He lifted his head slightly left turning his gaze towards the lower bar.

"I do. But I also know you are tired of being alone. And unless you put yourself out there you are never going to meet anyone."

Kaidan barley heard a word Craig said. His gaze was fixed on a woman at the bar. Her back was mostly toward him. She leaned against the bar with her weight on her left forearm as she took a shot. She waved at the bartender for another. Her Black-brown hair was up in a messy bun. The White t-back tank she wore showed off some marks on here which look like they could be a few tattoos. She took another shot and twisted her head quickly from side to side to crack her neck. Another woman with light brown hair and nervous green eyes approached her on her left side she turned her head away from him as she spoke with the woman. The bartender placed another shot on the bar in front of her. She turned her head back to the bar as if distracted by the motion then back to the other woman. They appeared to be arguing. She leaned back and stood up right as she took another shot this time placing the glass upside down and gesturing to the bartender that she had finished. As she backed away from the bar and turned herself towards the other woman her left arm became exposed and Kaidan could see it was covered in tattoos. Or maybe it was one large tattoo. Her tattooed arm looked like it was covered in a bouquet of dead bluish black roses. From her wrist to just over her elbow. Then she turned around completely and he could see her face. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her Hazel brown eyes were lined by a row of beautiful thick long lashes. Though her eyes were small and slightly slanted. Like an almond shape. She could be confused for being of Asian ethnicity but her skin color was a soft red brown. Like a pale Native American. Her full lips looked heart shaped. And a button nose separated her eyes from her mouth. Kaidan's eyes followed her as she moved closer to his direction. He leaned over the left side of the railing (he was standing in a sort of corner) as she past below and then changed directions away from him now. Her skin looked soft and smooth. With a cool stern look on her face as she walked up to a VIP area with the other woman. The other woman was still talking rapidly. She looked anxious.

"Kaidan. KAIDAN! HEY! Earth to Lt. Alenko!" Craig was trying to see what had Kaidan's full attention to the point of being unaware of the world around him.

"Her, There" Kaidan nodded his head toward the beautiful woman. "She's the most beautiful women here."

"Which one?" Craig's eyes scrambled the VIP lounge area in eagerness.

"The one in the white tank" Kaidan said still mesmerized. "With the arm tattoo."

"Huh tattooed girls huh? Never would have thought you liked tattooed girls"

"I don't usually" Kaidan said barely audible above the music. The Woman had her back to them while standing in front of a couch where a girl ( yes a girl. like a young recruit) lay past out. Her body was rigid. The other woman stood next to the couch facing them a look of panic on her face. Her mouth was moving a mile a minute as she tried to explain what was going on. The beautiful woman leaned over the couch to check the passed out girl for vitals. She turned her head to the other woman and snapped at her and the nervous woman shut up.  
"Well I can only see the back of her head but…. Her body language says she isn't happy about something." The Beautiful woman sat the girl upright and then lifted her onto her shoulders in a firemen's carry. She stood with the girl and her shoulders and turned towards them.

"Wow," Craig sighed "she is beautiful. But might I suggests someone a little more in your league." He joked at Kaidan and smacked him on the back. Kaidan finally jeered his head away from her and looked at Craig. Who simply shook his head and turned back to their other friends. Kaidan looked back trying to find her again but she was gone.

"So Kaidan shipping out tomorrow huh? What's the assignment?" asked one of his more resent acquaintances, Mathew.

"Ugh," Kaidan stammered as his brain turned back on. Turning back to his friends and walked over to the couch they had snagged and sat down. "I'm assigned to the SSV Normandy under Captain Anderson."

* * *

(Her side….)

"God I hate clubs." Aela groaned in agitation as the group of girls who has swindled her into coming to this club jumped with glee.

"Oh come on Shep, it's not that bad there's a bar with your name on it and I'm sure they have liquor picked out just for you. Besides it's for a good reason." Ciara, Aela's best friend, goaded on. Always more girly and ever the social butterfly she was. The complete opposite of Aela. Not to say Aela was manly or anything. She just wasn't a pink glitter dress and stiletto's kind of woman….Like Ciara was.

"How the hell is drinking with a kid straight out of tech school a good cause. How the hell do you even know this girl? " Aela truly had no idea. Ciara flipped her hair and sighed audibly. The other girls went on a head to procure drinks and 'scope out the guys'

"Don't worry about how I know her I just need you to relax and have a good time." Ciara sounded like an over baring mother and fussed over Aela's appearance equally as much. Ciara pushed a piece of Aela's hair back behind her ear and kept picking at her as they walked in until Aela smacked her hand away and gave her a look that said _enough already_! Ciara sighed on frustration and threw her hands up.

"Seriously we have nothing to celebrate Ara." Aela Snipped feeling like 'prating' was a waist of time. Drinking on the other hand seemed right up her ally.

"I know it sucks that we got reassigned but how could they keep us together after what happened?" Ciara said leveling with Aela. They pushed through the entrance and checked in to the VIP area.  
"This is my punishment. This is what happens when a troop doesn't listen to my orders and gets their own ass killed. I get punished. Seriously I'm and N7 why am I being assigned To the Normandy?" Aela said in anger. She was the best damn soldier they had and if they wanted her to stop believing that then they should stop telling her that she was. It made no sense to have one of the few N7's the Alliance had out on a stealth ship...Well it made a little sense but given no one else on the crew was it left room for speculation.

"It wasn't your fault Shepard. Lithia chose not to listen to you. That's disobeying a direct order. You know why we are being reassigned. It was a test run and it failed." Ciara as annoyance built in her voice. She kept looking around to see if anyone was hearing. Aela grumbled to herself feeling like shit. She had lost her dream job and was now being swept under the rug. The news reports had alright circulating the fabricated story about the incident. Ciara could see the wheels spinning in Aela's head and spoke up.

"You're not a failure Shepard it was a black ops mission that went FUBAR because of Lithia. We got caught which wasnt supposed to happen. I'm being shoved on patrol duty. Be thankful you have friends in high places" Ciara reminded. Aela looked around and sighed in frustration.

"FUCK! It's still bullshit Ara." She half whispered. Then reluctantly shook her head in agitation. "I'll be at the bar don't bug me unless someone's dead" she said coldly and made her way to the bar.

"Tequila Shots and keep them coming!" She shouted as she go to the bar leaning on her left side and taking a look around the crowed. The obnoxious girl group she was with already had a few drinks and where out on the dance floor. She shook her head at the sight of them. Looking round the room she saw some other soldiers there for a good night out she assumed. She hoped to God none of them noticed the fresh recruits. Or at least didn't notice she had come in with them.

She heard a loud smash of a bottle breaking and looked up to the second level. One of those biotic ass hats was trying to show off and got his ass kicked out. "Found the rowdy biotic douches" she muttered to herself. The bartender placed the shot glass in front of her. She turned he body and towards the bar still resting on her left arm.

"Thanks." She muttered to the bartender and gave him a nod as she drank.

"Another?" the bartender asked her qith and unsure look on his face.

"Yea," she said dryly with the burn from the tequila in her throat "Didn't I say keep 'em coming?" She said in a tone most mistake for being a bitchy. The bartender backed off and gave her another shot.  
"Sorry Miss, just most girls that look like you come in here acting tough but bow out after the first shot of the hard stuff." He said obviously trying to hit on her Which she was _NOT_ in the mood for. Everyone at that bar saw the look on her face and knew it all. She didn't even have to say anything. Her expression merely portrayed '_are you fucking kidding me'_

"Sorry." He said again meekly feeling intimidated "How old are you anyway like 20?" She again shot him another cold look of doom.

"26" she said sharply. She was done with this conversation so before he could try to sweet talk her anymore she thrilled up the intimidation. "So before you get some idea in your that I'm some dumb bimbo looking to get trashed and fuck a random douchbag, know that I grew up on one of the last reservations on earth and I can kill you 20 different ways with my thumb." She said with such cold indifference you could have sworn you saw actually ice in her stare. The bartender swallowed hard.

"Sorry." He apologized sheepishly "I'll just pour you shots on leave you alone."

"Thanks" She snapped as he place another shot in front of her.

"Shepard, we have a problem!" Ciara shouted at she raced up to her left side. She looked panicked and overwhelmed. Aela looked at the dance floor for a quick head count of the kiddies and everyone seemed accounted for. She then turned her attention back to Ciara.

"What, who died?" she said coldly and took another shot.

"Kelly is passed out on the couch in the VIP area she isn't waking up and she doesn't seem to be breathing." The bartender put another shot in front of her which momentarily distracted her.

"What do you mean she doesn't seem to be breathing?" Aela snapped. "She either is or shit isn't did you check?"

"No I freaked out and came and found you." Ciara said all panicky. Aela took her last shot and placed the glass upside down on the bar and closed her tab.

"God you're fucking worthless Ciara how did you make N4 without knowing how to check a damn pulse?!" Aela spat at her as the made their way over to Kelly. "What the hell did she drink?"

"Umm, I'm not entirely sure. She was talking to some guys, and then a few turians came over and started talking with their group, and there were two other girls with her I don't know where they went, and then the turians started saying stuff like 'well that not a real drink that's a drink for kids try this' and then the other guys would say something back and before you know it they were having a drinking contest and then she just blacked out and I don't know wh-" Ciara rambled on talking at 200kmh. while Aela checked the girls pulse and vitals she was breathing and everything seemed normal she just passed out.

"Shut up Ara!" Aela snapped and Ciara stopped talking. There were some Asari sitting at a booth next to them.

"Did you guys see or hear what happened before she passed out?" Aela asked.

"Um yes I believed one of the human men dared her to drink ryncol. The turians tried to warn her not to as did we but she didn't listen." One of them replied.

"Shit." Aela swore under her breath. "Can you see the human guys who dared her?"

"Unfortunately I do not they disappeared after she passed out. I wish I could be more helpful."

"That's all right thanks for your help." Aela did make an actual effort to sound appreciative though she doubted she did. She sat Kelly upright and proceeded to lift her over her shoulders in a firemen's carry. Turning back to Ciara she said.  
"We need to get her to a hospital if she's ingested ryncol it can kill her." Panic swept Ciara once more and they headed for the exit.

"I'll get the other girls" Ciara said

"This is on you." Aela said blatantly. She had enough reprimands for the day.

* * *

Kaidan was mostly all settled in, he found a bunk in the crew's quarters that was perfect and had assumed (and partially hoped) no one else would want it. It was the last one on the left, it was one bunk squeezed into a corner to the other side was a wall. Like being in a small cuby. Since more people don't usually enjoy those types of areas he was sure he was safe. His mind had been on the beautiful woman all night and he needed to get refocused.

He made his way down to the shuttle bay to see if Captain Anderson needed help with anything else. The main hatch was opened as a way to get most of the crew and other stock on. The last of the cargo was being loaded on and it seemed that all the crew was on board yet, Anderson stood at the opening as if waiting for someone.

"Captain Anderson" Kaidan approached and gave a salute. "Is there anything that needs to be done at this time that I could be of use for?" he asked hoping there was something that required his full attention.

"Not at this time Lieutenant, are you settled in properly?" Anderson turned his head to look at him and speak to him but his attention was mostly elsewhere.

"Ugh yes sir as has the rest of the crew." Kaidan said curiously "I'm sorry sir but if I may ask, are we waiting for someone?" Kaidan was quite positive everyone was here. It was a moderately small ship. Captain Anderson turned and smiled at him.

"Yes Lieutenant. We have one more person we are waiting for" He looked at his watch "and though she isn't technically late she is cutting it close." Kaidan felt like a prying ass now.

"I'm sorry for asking sir it wasn't any of my business." Anderson turned to look at him with a slight confused look on his face.

"Don't worry about it Alenko isn't not like you asked an absurd question about classified material. It was actually a valid question. We should be starting the pre-flight checks now, but that will have to wait." Just then a sky cab landed and dropped off the apparent tardy last crew member.

"There she is now." Anderson stated. She was caught in the glare of sun light mostly. All Kaidan could make out was a silhouette of someone carrying a ruck sack.

"Sorry I'm late, Captain." Her voice was soft but cold. "There was traffic." She said with frustration in her voice. As she approached them Kaidan couldn't believe his eyes. The beautiful woman from the bar last night was standing right in front of him now. She looked amazing in her uniform. She wore the sleeves down instead of rolled up like everyone else. He wondered why. _Tattoos _he thought. Her hair was down she had obviously been in a rush.

"Commander Shepard, welcome aboard." Anderson greeted her with a handshake and a warm smile. They must have known each other. For a while. Kaidan stood there staring in disbelief. Anderson turned to see Alenko's stone like demeanor.

"This is Lieutenant Alenko." Anderson addressed him when he said nothing snapping Kaidan into reality his eyes widened at the realization that she out ranked him and he quickly saluted her.

"Ma'am" he managed to squeak out. She gave him a look that said _your kinda weird aren't you_

"Hey" she said dryly.

"Well hurry up and make your way to the crew quarters and get settled in" Anderson said attempting to break the awkwardness. She gave a fake smile and nodded.

* * *

(LATER…..)

Kaidan couldn't believe she was on this ship…. With him….and she was technically his commanding officer. _This was going to be an interesting mission._ He mused to himself on the way back to his bunk. Long day, for feeling like he did nothing he sure was tired. They had a day to travel to citadel for their first assignment in the morning so tomorrow should bring some interesting events. As he made his way to the back of the room where his bunk was he slowed to a stop as he saw the sight of an unfamiliar object on the bottom bunk in the small corner he had claimed. As he approached with caution his heart almost stopped when he say it was her. Commander Shepard. She sat on the edge of her bunk elbows on knees face in her hands. Her breathing was …abnormal. As if she were in pain. He stood awkwardly by unsure of what to do. Most of the crew was in bed asleep already. Upon looking around the room he found several other bunks that were open so why was she at his? She sat back dropping her hands and slowly tilting her head back. She made a small quick movement of pushing her shoulders toward her spine which gave a small but audible crack. She took a quick breath of pain than sighed in relief she stood up and turned to make her way out. _Shit. _He stood like a dear in the head lights as she looked straight at him.

"I'm sorry did I take your bunk" she whispered. He looked at the bunk and then her.

"Um no ma'am. Not... technically... I'm on top of you." His eyes widened as he caught his mistake and tried to correct what he meant. "THE BUNK the top bunk, over you." She raised and eye brown.

"Obviously" She responded quietly with ..was that a soft laugh? "Otherwise the crew would have questions." She said dryly. He let small chuckle escape.

"Yea" he agreed. She gave a small smile. It appeared to be genuine. He involuntarily looked over her in her pj's. Small dolphin shorts that barely covered her backside and an old pt. shit. He snapped his eyes back to her face in embarrassment but her eyes were closed. Her brows furrowed in pain. He walked closer to her.

"Are you OK?" he asked as he approached her. Her eyes opened they looked at him but they were full of confusion and …was that embarrassment? Her eyes were more beautiful then he thought from the night before. Seeing her up close like this they were a soft hazel with a honey tint.

"Ugh y- y- yea I'm, (sigh) I'm fine." She stuttered. "I'm just going to the bathroom." She said walking past him hurriedly. He watched after her then got into his bunk. _This is going to be interesting indeed._

* * *

The next day…..(still Kaidan vision for now)

They hadn't even been on the same ship together for eight hours and it was already awkward. Kaidan had timing…bad timing but still timing. The main case cooker on that fact was earlier he was passing through the armory to make sure everything was set up for the mission before heading to the flight deck to assist Joker when he heard noises of frustration coming from the locker room and went to check it out. He then turned several corners until he came across a sight he swore would have only been in one of his deepest darkest wet dreams. Shepard trying to get that voluptuous backside of her into her light armor…a few wiggles and jiggles here and there and her suit came up and over it and the rest was all ease zipping it up until….she turned around to face him right as the zipper got caught having the same trouble around her chest. The zipper was stuck just under her quite large breasts. Her left arm had a handful of material on her lower rib cage pulling down for leverage and her right hand stubbornly pulling the zipper upright. Kaidan's mouth was a gap at the sight of her stubbornly and violently pulling with no avail. In fact for a few minutes there all she accomplished was to give him a great show up her bust giggling around. And of course, as that timing matter comes into play here the zipper finally gave and heroically climbed over those two mountains and zipped up just in enough of a seconds span for her to look up and meet him eye to eye. At which moment he panicked, apologized fiercely and retreated from the room not even bothering to try to explain himself anymore…..


	2. Miyu oni (I am the Last)

_That Kaidan guy's fucking weird…_ was her first thought as she awoke with a pounding headache…She lay sprawled out on her bed in the captain cabin. She looked over at her clock 4:45am earth time. She had a few minutes before she had to get up._ Though he is cute._ She though._ He's adorably awkward sometimes. Like his little "slip" on the citadel the other day with Williams._

_ 'When you put it like that it is hard not to like you, Us, I mean humans.' _She smiled at the memory of those words.

_Alright come on keep your head in the game Shep, there are regs and crap…right….well.. Maybe if I just indulge the fantasy a ! None of that. End of discussion. _Just then her alarm went off_. Yippy 5:15am already. _She shut off her alarm then lifted both arms to a 90 degree angle above her body. Turning her palms in to face each other she spread her fingers wide then slowly and forcefully bent all fingers at once making little popping and cracking noises. Then laced her fingers together and pressed down towards her chest to get a good final crack out of them. As she sat up in bed she already knew what kind of day this was going to be. The pain in her lower spine and right hip was intense. Easily a 9/9.5. She threw her legs over the side of her bed and twisted her back around placing her palms down on the bed behinds her. One side then the other. The pain that just keeps on giving. She did her 15 minutes of yoga to ease the tension in her muscle and bring the pain down to a solid 9. No doubts about it she was going to have to talk to Dr. Chakwas today…and probably get a shot. UGH she hated needles.

* * *

She was dress and putting her hair up when she walked out of her cabin around 6:15am. Kaidan was already at his post. She gave the best smile she could genuinely must.

"Morning." She said barely a whisper. Kaidan's eye seem to twist with worry.

"Are you ok?" He asked and you could hear the concern in his voice. _Damn, I must not be hiding it that well anymore_.She thought. She cleared hear throat and then said

"I'm fine" His expression changed, but he wasn't fooled. He knew something was wrong. She made her way to the med bay. She kept a brave face on until she got clear of the med bay doors and they shut behind her. Then she cried out in pain and collapsed to the nearest bed she could find. Dr. Chakwas jumped to action immediately.

"What is the level of pain today?" She asked Shepard. This was routine for Shepard to come into med bay every morning with a level of pain variance usually between 3 and 7, but nothing like this.

"It was a 9 this morning." She gasped "but now it's definitely a 10.5" she cried out as quietly as she could.

Dr. Chakwas quickly procured a needle and syringe and filled it to the safest limit that she could. Aela made her way over to one of the other tables and firmly planted her hands on the edged to steady herself and she held herself up. Dr. Chakwas lifter the back of her shirt and Shepard leaned forward accordingly to help expose her lower back. Shepard heard the sound of the med bay door opening and turned hear head just in time to see Kaidan enter and stop as he saw the look of fear and pain in her eyes and Dr. Chakwas shoved the needle into her lower back and inject the painkillers. She removed the needle carefully and replace Aela's shirt as best she could.

"I need you to lay down now commander, until it has finished spreading throughout your system."

She helped Shepard onto the bed to lay down for a few minutes. Aela turned away from Kaidan. She couldn't bear to look at him right now. Not now. Not after he has seen her. Seen the pain that she never allowed anyone to see she carried.

"Is there something you needed Lieutenant?" Dr. Chakwas asked. Kaidan had a tone in his voice that Aela would not soon forget. The sound of pity.

"No ma'am I just wanted to check on the Commander she didn't seem to be feeling well earlier and I hear a loud shout come from here shortly after she entered." Aela could feel his eyes on her. Her breathing started to ease up as the pain killers kicked in. She could since the relief in Kaidan as her breathing became easier.

"I assure you Lieutenant, the Commander is going to be just fine she just needs a few minutes for the everything to start working and she will be back to work in no time." Chakwas told him with a tone that said mine your own damn business, knowing full well how Shepard preferred no one to know about her "condition". Kaidan nodded his head taking the hint and left the room.

* * *

A few moments later she emerged from the med bay feeling relieved. Eager to get on with this mission of chasing down Saren, first stop, Artemis Tau cluster for one Dr. Liara T'Soni. Aela closed her eyes and cracked her neck and upper back upon exiting the med bay. Several loud, audible pops came from her neck and back. Reveling in the pleasure of the pops she slowly opened her eyes to see Lt. Alenko accosting her on a clear mission.

"Son of bitch" she said under her breath know full well he was going to ask about what he saw.

"Commander, I hope I'm not out of line by asking this." He stood awkwardly. His body tense. _Was he always this wound up?_ She wondered. _Or is it just from what he saw?_

"Are you sure you are ok for duty?" He asked with genuine concern in his voice. She exhaled with aggravation.

"I'm fine lieutenant." She reassured with a clear edge in her tone she didn't want to talk about it. Walking away from him towards the stairs she stopped and turned when he asked.

"Are you? It's not every day I see my commanding officer get a spinal tap and then head back to duty as if nothing happened." She looked at him with annoyance clear on her face.

"It is for me." She said shortly turning back the other direction she added "Almost." under her breath she didn't think he caught it but he did. She began to walk away again when once again he spoke making her stop and address him.

"I'm sorry to be keeping you ma'am but—"

"Then why are you?" she cut him off in her usual short tempered fashion. He lowered his eyes to the ground momentarily then looked back up at her.

"What now?" She said trying not to bite his head off again.

"Well, ma'am, I know you out rank me so I am sure you are well aware of the regs." He began with a waver in his voice. "But," Taking note of her hair she knew exactly what was coming next. Her hair was long that much he had seen the day she came on this ship. But with her hair up it in a high tight bun he could see that from the top of her ears down was shaved almost to the skin. He could visibly see her black and white neck tattoo. A feather an inch and a half from her left ear trailed down her neck to her collarbone. The image of a wolf wearing a chief head dress howling at the moving was inside the feather. She let another aggravated exhale leaver her body as she turned to face him once again.

"Yes Lieutenant, my hair is in regs." She stated flatly setting her body in a ridged strait line. Though, it didn't help that she was 5'5 and had to look up at him. "My hair had been questioned and looked up and questioned again and looked up again. My hair style is 'a cultural representation of myself and my heritage' and therefore acceptable." She said putting air quotes around the regulation she quoted. He lifted an eyebrow in curiosity and she saw he loosened up slightly as he cocked his head slightly to the right and asked.

"What is you ethnicity? IF you don't mind me asked?" and it was gone back to his awkwardness as he finished his statement. She relaxed a bit herself as a somewhat surprised and confused look crossed her face.

"Most people just assume I'm Asian, or Hispanic, " She gave a half smile at him. "I even got Filipino once, but You're the first one to ask." She wondered at that a moment and then answered him with a saddened sigh. "I'm Native American."

Happy surprise washed over his face he smiled and gave a small enthusiastic _huh._

"You're Native American?" he marvel at the thought. Most of those racially indigenous people of the Americas were scares. Either having died out or been bread out of the gene pool. Very, very few native's still lived on "What tribe?" He asked.

"Not one four. Apache, The Acjachemen nation also known as the Juaneno's is the tribe I primarily was raised in back on earth. In what's left of California. The Diné is also known as the Navajo and the Tsalagi would be the Cherokee."

"Hmh" he pondered that. "So is your hair style of significant value? Does it represent a warrior or something among your tribe?" She smiled at this question.

"Some warriors do shave their heads, but essentially it is not required. And remember only men were warriors. Others feel their hair is sacred and only cut it when they are in morning" She smiled and walked to the stares and up to the CIC.

* * *

A few days After Picking up Liara….

Aela's conversations were getting flintier with Lt. Alenko and she liked it that way. At least she tried not to believe she liked it that way. _Stay focused on the mission._ She kept arguing with herself as she went back to her mental cinema real of their most recent conversation. She internally smirked to herself. _He thinks I'm beautiful._ _Focus! _She chastised herself. Trying to focus on the paperwork she was sifting thought. Wasn't the smartest Idea for her to sit at the lounge table in the mess, with him in her view.

She sighed out of boredom and sat back in her chair. Leaning herself mostly to the right over the arm rest she raised her left are unconsciously to about her chest and started bending her pinky rapidly. She was staring into the datapad intently until Kaidan spoke up.

"Is that…is that your….Pinky?" He said with a look of disgust on his face. She paused and looked at her bent small finger and then across the room at him. She forgot the audible grinding and popping noise it made when she did that.

"Yea" her expression was empty but her voice carried its own awkwardness in it. His faced turned to almost horror.

"Maybe you should see the doctor about that." He said slowly. She gave a weak smile and re-positioned herself in the chair changing her weight to her left arm over the arm chair.

"Ugh its ugh.." she stammered out she took a breath to steady herself and smiled at him. "It's Calculus Articulation."

"Stone joint?" He said with confusion. She looked down at her pinky then back at him.

"You know it?" She asked. He walked over and took a seat across form her.

"No, I just know that Calculus means stone and Articulation means joint. Medically speaking." She tilted her head to the left in curiosity.

"You know medical jargon?" she inquired with a small smile on her lips.

"A little bit." He said. She shifted her weight back to her right side and held up her left hand again and examined her pinky.

"Ugh , well the doc said he thought it was a bone spur when I first noticed the strange feeling, but because of the sound it makes he said it was more like a bone pebble was rolling around in between my joints. It doesn't hurt so he didn't do anything about it. Just called it Calculus Articulation, and sent me on my way." Kaidan gestured for her to give him her hand. She hesitated at first battling inside herself. The thought of begin touched disgusted her, Nigh, it down right pained her, but complied with an inquisitive look on her face.

"What are you going to tell me you're a doctor now?" She asked playfully trying to draw his attention away from her body language. He shook his head as he took her hand in between his. She sucked in a short sharp breathe when he placed his hand around her wrist. Her body went rigid against her will. She had to force herself to breath evenly to maintain what little normalcy she could muster. In less she was being ordered to have a medical exam she despised being touched. She would rather have a million days of level 10 or greater pain in her back then feel somebodies hands on her.

His left hand held her wrist delicately and his right hand massaged the pinky with his thumb. He stole a look at her. She was focus on her hand and seemed acutely aware of his hands presence on hers. Her demeanor resemble a stone. It's like she had turned into a statue when he touched her. Her Breathing was so faint he couldn't tell if she even was breathing. He glanced down to her chest and saw the slight lift as she inhaled softly. He had to shake himself out of staring. He massaged the connective knuckle of the pinky and her ring finger. His hands were calloused yet strangely soft. His grip was firm and gentle at the same time. She felt her herself relaxing at his touch . She'd even go as far as to say she enjoyed it.

"It's in your ring finger too." He stated massaging the knuckles.

"How can you tell?" He held her hand up by her wrist so she was looking at the back of her hand. He tapped her knuckles to draw her attention to them.

"It's not in your joint it's in your knuckles." He said tracing the last two knuckles on her hand. "You may feel it in your joint but I can feel the rolling bone piece in your knuckles not the joint." He released her hand and got up from the chair and returned to work. She flexed her fingers looking at the knuckles and movement of her fingers.

"How do you know that from just feeling them?" He leaned over his console and looked around him as if she should know that.

"I ugh took a Kinesiology course when I was younger."He said shyly almost embarrassed. he caught himself and returned to work. She gave the always approving 'not bad' look and went back to her datapad. But not before twisting in her chair and cracking her back. First to the left then to the right, she exhaled in relief as the cracks were loud. Kaidan flashed a look at her over his console when he heard the sound.

"Is that what the doctor said was wrong with your back?" he stated more then asked. She froze not moving her eyes from her datapad. He saw her as her demeanor changed to a hard wall.

"No." She said obviously not wanting to talk about it . He stood strait up and walked over to her this time taking the seat next to her, Concern on his face. She gave him a sideways glance not even turning her head towards him. He said nothing just looked at her patiently waiting to tell him. She grunted in frustration. She knew he wasn't going to leave this alone until she told him. She slumped forward and exhaled in exasperation. Still not turning to look at him she said.

"That is an old injury from my childhood."She paused " It's in my hips too."

"What is it?" He implored

"A breakdown of the padding in my hip joints, and in my between my spinal discs from extensive over use."

"I'm sorry," he said with true compassion in his voice. "That must be incredibly painful."

"It is" she said shortly wanting to change subjects.

"How did it happen? Is there anything they can do about it?" she sighed with annoyance and sat back in her chair.

"No once the padding is gone it's gone. And it happened because growing up on earth I had to learn to be resourceful which included knowing how to maneuver through cities the quickest and most efficient way." She sighed with relief and looked over at his whisky brown eyes. "Which often meant climbing drain pipes, and leaping rooftop to rooftop, and sometimes climbing straight up a wall. I'm sure the gymnastics and ballet i took in high school didn't help." He looked confused on how that was possible to climb up a wall.

"ugh, it's possible you just have to find the right leverage points like" she looked around the room in though "a small protruding stone, or a window sill." He sat back and contemplated that.

"But I thought you grew up on the reservation?" She looked down at the memory took her away.  
"I also told you I was the last of my people."

"I'm sorry." he said sheepishly remembering that.

"No its fine." She said bringing her hand to her forehead. "My tribe was wiped out. In one night. when I was twelve." She turned back to the table and sat forward leaning on her forearms as her tongue glided behind her teeth. "I don't know ,to this day, who it was, but" she slowly "They came in force one night killing the elders and rounding up the kids." She sat back and scratched at the back of her head with her right arm. "Whoever they were they put my implant in. I'm assuming it was a secret faction preforming illegal experiments that needed new test subjects."

"Why do you think that?"

She smiled and looked at him. "Because my implant is an L5n. They aren't even known to exist." She sighed. "Why do you think the Alliance is so eager to keep me around with my supper charged implant." She playfully jeered. Lord knows she was reckless and hell she would have kicker herself out years ago. Especially after that black ops mission she botched on Craitos.

"Wow" He mused at her. "I didn't mean to stir up the past like that. I mean that sounds like a pretty bad childhood." He looked at his hands feeling guilty. She stood up from her chair and stretched.

"It's not that bad, My younger childhood was quite enjoyable. Hunting, Fishing climbing trees." She gave him a smile.

"Sounds normal enough." He said withe a playful smile on his lips.

"Besides,The alliance raided the place six months later and I escaped in the chaos and somehow made my way back to California." She picked up the datapad and moved toward the elevator.

"Why go back?" he turned his body towards her. She turned and gave a forced smile.

"Someone had to pass their souls onto the great spirit." He sat back studding her features, They were cold and guarded as she spoke the words.

"where are you going?" He called after her.

"I need a cigarette." She called as the elevator dinged. "I hate elevators." She said quietly but he heard.


	3. Cancer Sticks

disclaimer: BioWare owns Mass Effect Franchise

* * *

She sat in the lower observation deck and took a long drag on her cigarette. _Anderson, you son of a bitch you thought of everything. _She smiled to herself as she blew the smoke from her lungs. The sign on the door to this Lounge clearly said Smoking Permitted in This Room ONLY. _You're the closest thing I have left to family. Guess you would know me well enough to add a smoking room for me. _She thought. She played with her lighter as she thought about her conversation with Kaidan. She revealed much about herself to him that she had told seldom few. Why did she? She found herself wanting his attention. Good, bad or indifferent. She remembered the feel of his hand massaging hers. She quite liked the idea of_ him_ touching her. She studied her left hand taking another deep drag on her cigarette. Her gaze moved up her arm to her tattoo. She looked over every individual flower with great detail and pain. She heard the door open and he looked over her right shoulder to see Garrus walking in as she took another drag. She inhaled quick and sharp.

"Garrus" She said as some of the smoke left her mouth as she said his name as more of a greeting then exhaled the rest out. He came around and took a seat next to her on the bench on her left side. She gave him a quick study as she took another drag. _What do you want?_ Was the expression on her face.

"What are you doing?" She reached up and pulled the earphone out of her left ear then nodded to him to repeat.

"I said 'What are you doing'" he motioned to the cigarette in her mouth. She inhaled sharply and looked at the cigarette in her right hand and exhaled. He waved his right hand around to get the smoke out of his face.

"Smoking" she stated.

"I see that but why?" She looked around the room and saw they were the only ones in it.

"'cause I can" she said plainly almost as a question, taking her last drag of that one and putting the butt out in the nearby ashtray.

"Do most humans choose to poison themselves with toxins like that?" He seriously couldn't understand what she was doing or why. She exhaled and shook her head.

"No." He shook his head not going to try to understand her motives anymore.

"Was there something you needed" She asked searchingly.

"Yes." He remembered why he came up here. "Well not so much needed as was curious." He studied her a moment as she pulled another cigarette out form the box. _Lucky Strike, _The box read. She placed in back in her pocket and lit the small paper stick. With a long drag and a sharp inhale she said.

"Shoot." He stood up and walked over to the glass window then turned to lean his back against it and face her.

"You're a biotic right?"

"Yea," She said between puffs. "Vanguard Class."

"Vanguard, huh, that's the most combat efficient of all biotics right?" She gave a short nod in confirmation.

"So where did you learn to use a sniper rifle." He asked

"N7 Training, next" Her tone was short and to the point. Not unlike her as he had learned about her from his limited interactions. What piqued his interest was that she said _next_. As if she was waiting for a full blown Q & A.

"What makes you think there's a next?" She rolled her eyes

"There's always a next" she said with the cigarette being held between her lips as she fumbled in her pockets for something. She removed her right hand and it plucked the cig out of her mouth. She stood up and dug something out of her left crew pocket near her knee cap. She produced forth a coin about the size of a silver dollar. Once said was the N7 logo while the other was a snipers logo, these coins were only given to the top marksmen at the end of their training. His face showed his impressment. His face twisted in confusion again.

"But I thought humans only trained in one field like, only biotics, only weapons, etc." He waved on in the implication of etcetera. She replaced the coin and finished the cigarette.

"Usually but," She gave a smart ass smile as she put out the cig in the ashtray and looking back at him said "I'm special" he snorted in appreciation for her sarcasm. She gave a friendly wink and headed out the door. She removed the other earphone and wrapped it around a small, purple, slim square while holding a button on top down.  
"If it makes you feel better." She spoke to him as he came up behind her to the elevator. "When you come with me you will be the sniper." She smiled. He scoffed

"And when I'm not?" He playfully jeered.

"Oh I doubt you won't be with my very often." She said giving a playful pat on his shoulder. "Besides i prefer hand to hand combat. It is my forte you know." She trailed off playfully.

"Alight but one of these days I want to test you to see whose the better shot." She laughed

"I wouldn't have it any other way Vakarian"

* * *

_Well Feros was a bust. _She thought standing in the airlock waiting for the decontamination to finished. She could feel Kaidan's judgmental disapproval radiating in her direction.

"You alive LT?" She called over her shoulder.

"Yes Commander." He answered with aggravation clear and present in his voice. She rolled her eyes and detached her chest plate handing It to Garrus, who was taken aback by the 'gift'. She unzipped her under jumpsuit down from the left of her neck down around her left arm then circled under her arm and down her side to her hip. She heard Kaidan's breathe hitch and she pulled her arms out barring her upper half in just her bra. She didn't give a shit at the moment she was busy examining the bullet hole in her left shoulder.

"OH shit." Kaidan exclaimed moving over to her to apply medi-gel.

"How do you feel?" He was in medic mode. "What's your name?"

"Aela." She snapped_._ She had felt the the shot hit her in the last fight for the Thorian. Garrus had fallen behind trying to watch her six and Kaidan had pressed on in front. So either one of the Asrai clones had got a lucky shot off or Kaidan had severely miss calculated one of his shots at a creeper.

She was too busy being pissed off, which she suspected most of the crew thought it was her general expression. She didn't see Kaidan's light smile playing at the corners of his lips. _What a beautiful name_. He thought. _Never met an A- ell-uh before, _he pronounced her name by syllable in his head.

"Are you dizzy or light headed?" He asked in his professional voice.

"No" She said emotionlessly. He stole a quick glance at her. She was staring straight forward. Her face like steel. His own face softened slightly as his glance turned into admiring her. Garrus caught on and nudged him back to reality as blood was still seeping from her wound. He gave Garrus a quick look of appreciation and stopped the bleeding but the hole was still open and not closing.

"Damn it." He sighed. "You're gonna need stitches." He said running his omni-tool over her to check her vitals to make sure her blood pressure hadn't dropped. The Doors opened and she radioed for Dr. Chakwas to meet her on the CIC. He followed her close in tail reading diagnostics. Kaidan had a new frustration run over in the form of jealousy as all the male and some female crew members turned to drink in the site of Shepard in her bra. He was close enough that he couldn't help but steal a quick glance at the tag sticking out form her bra. _36DD holy shit, _he thought trying to stifle his own arousal. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't admiring her body. She had curves that would intimidate any man. An narrow waist gave her a perfect hour glass figure, but she was anything but skinny. He soft copper tight over the tones muscles from extensive use. She didn't look disgusting like a body builder or anything. But she was definitely impressive. One look at that body and you knew she could hold herself in a fight. He hated to think of it but Harkin was right. Her body looked amazing in her armor. Dr. Chakwas met them at the galaxy map with a try full of sterilizers and the old fashion needle and thread. Kaidan was even more impressed as Shepard stood at the galaxy map as Chakwas started to sterilize and dress the wound. In fact she took it like a damn champ, barely even wincing here and there at the pain. He caught himself becoming aroused again and took a deep breath. She turned and looked him over her right shoulder, with cold eyes.

"Do you have something to say to me Lieutenant?" Her voice was almost challenging. He remembered the mission and was back to being aggravated.

"Permission to speak freely ma'am?" He asked knowing she would agree simply to put him in his place.

"Granted." She said and turned to face him stepping down form the Galaxy map to meet him face to face though it didn't help her since she was half a foot shorter than him. She winced in pain and looked back at the doctor. Chakwas gave and irritated look at her as she accidentally stuck her with the needle incorrectly from the sudden movement. He stood at attention not wanting to piss her off more.

"Ma'am, forgive me but I don't agree with your actions on Feros. Those colonists weren't in control of themselves. I just think it was wrong for you to gun them down like that." He saw a different expression on her face than he expected her to show. Was that regret?

"Alenko," She started her voice was harsh. _Guess not_. "I tried it your way we ran out of Anit-Thorian grenades what would you have me do? If someone shoots at y- at me I'm gonna shoot back" He was the only one that caught her almost say _you._ But there was frustration in her voice but it wasn't with him. Was she frustrated at herself? Why would she be? Unless she was frustrated with the thought of letting him down, or doing something he didn't agree with. _That doesn't even make sense_. He thought. Though she was about to execute the Asari had he night said something. He thought back to that moment briefly.

_The Asari was on her knees back turned to them waiting for her execution. Shepard stood at her back with her pistol to the Asari's head._

_"Commander," Kaidan chimed in. Shepard lifted her pistol and turned to look at him over her right arm._

_"I don't think she deserves this, she didn't do this willingly Saren made her. Should she be killed for being forced into being the Thorian's slave?" The look in her eyes said she truly believe she was right to kills this woman. She gritted her teeth and glancing to her left at the Asari, and then sheathed her pistol._

_"Get the hell out of my site." She said barely above a whisper._

Shepard was ribbing her eyes with her right hand. She sighed and dropped her hand.

"That'll be all Lieutenant." She said softly, scanning the room.

"Ma'am" He said and turned to retreat to the lower deck when Liara made her way out the door he was headed to and over to Shepard. He didn't even make it to the door, he turned around right away, the pang of jealous in him. He had heard the lower deck roomers that Liara was interested in Shepard and he wanted to see for himself if they had any merit or if Shepard showed a similar interest.

"Shepard! Are you alright?" Liara softly exclaimed. Maybe she actually said it the way he heard it or maybe he was just making it up in his head that she sounded like a concerned lover. He set his jaw in agitation either way.

Given the look on Shepard's face he rather doubted any reciprocated feelings but he didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"I'm fine." She snapped. _Well that wasn't unusual for her_. He thought. _Oh hell, forget it I'm just going to go down stairs and get back to that thing called WORK I'm supposed to be focused on. _He mentally chastised himself.

Shepard stole a glance as Kaidan disappeared down stairs. She kicked herself mentally. _What the hell did this guy want from me? _She did her best to save the colonists, and she saved the Asari because he asked her too_. Hell I would have normally killed everyone. But I guess even my best attempt wasn't good enough for him._ She thought bitterly as she looked over the galaxy map. She heard Liara fussing over her in the background but didn't care enough to pay attention to her at the moment. She pulled up the system on the map. Next stop Novaria

* * *

"You Shot the Commander." Garrus teased as he fitteld with the mako. Kaidan was sitting by the weapons bench as Ashley helped him inspect pistols on the requisitions list. _You're still using the kessler I series? _She had playfully mocked earlier.

He almost dropped the datapad, snapping his eyes to Garrus with a look of shock in his face at the implication.

"No I didn't."He said, but even head wasn't sure of the sound his voice carried. Garrus snorted.

"Yea You did i saw it." He turned looking at his shocked expression. " She was in front of me." He reminded. "I came up the stair case after dealing with the creepers. She had her back to you dealing with her own creepers. You had just finished off the Asari clone and turned to shoot the creeper in the head over he left shoulder." He paused as he watched Kaidan play that over again in his head. Then sarcastically added."You missed."

The looked of horror that violently washed over Kaidan's face at the realization was priceless. Everyone else was unaware of the infatuation that had started between the Lieutenant and Shepard, they did a good job at hiding it. But Shepard hardly went on a mission with out the two of them and being in such close quarters gave him a front row seat into the matter. Not that they knowingly acted different towards each other on missions, but he had glimpses like earlier in the airlock when Kaidan slipped up for a moment. He had started to become close to Shepard himself, but not in the same way. They were only friends, which he suspected Shepard didn't have many off.

* * *

It be a couple of days till they got to Novaria seeing as they had to stop and get fuel and supplies. She couldn't sleep. The pain in her back and hips was an annoying 3.5. She couldn't get comfortable no matter which way she turned in bed. She went to the mess hall and, after some accidental noise making, procured some tequila and a shot glass then made her way to the smoking lounge.

She grabbed her Sniper Rifle, Pistol, and SMG and brought them to the smoking lounge disassembled them and laid them on the coffee table. She sat in yoga shorts and her razor back bra with the front clasp she loved. It was a sexy little lacy number. She was lucky to find it most things don't come this nice in her size. She took long drags of her cig as she cleaned her pistol out leaving the cig pressed between her full lips. Only lifting her right hand from the pistol to hold her cig while she exhaled, she sat with the headphones in believing she was the only one up on the ship. She removed the cig from her mouth and exhaled then poured herself a shot of tequila and drank. Replacing the cigarette and resumed assembling her pistol.

She didn't hear Kaidan walk in. He observed her for a few moments silently. Saw her lift the pistol up and pull the trigger placing the hammer back in place, then setting it aside and started working on her sniper rifle. She sat back after a minute or two. Removed the cigarette she was smoking and put it out she then leaned back and flexed her shoulders. _Holy shit! What is she wearing_?_ She must think she is the only one up?"_ he noticed the headphones in her ears. She leaned back in a stretch and held the music device up to change the song. She placed the device next to her and then poured herself another shot. At the risk of losing a testicle and probably his life, and he made his way slowly around the left side to of the couch and took a seat next to her. She lit another cigarette and just looked at him without any expression at all. Well her face said something to the effect of: _You look like shit. Can't sleep? _She turned the music player off and pulled the headphones out of her ear.

"Can't sleep?' He asked. She turned her head to look at him

"What?!" She almost shouted catching him off guard making him jump

"oh Jesus," He said with a jump. She placed her left hand on his shoulder to see if I were ok. He smiled to let her know he was.

"Sorry," she spoke normally ashing her cig over the try "Concussive round blew my left ear drum six years ago On Bedlem."

"Bedlem was you?" He asked groggily as he moved. She sighed

"Yep, it's always me." She sighed turning back to look at him as he stood and walked over to hear right side and sat down. She laughed softly, almost a giggle.

"Well now you're in the direct path of my cigarette she said placing to her lips and taking a drag. She may have been an ass but she always tried to respect others wish to not have second hand smoke in their face. Kaidan took the cig from her mouth and put it out. She just watched then exhaled the smoke out to her left so as not to get it in his face.

"Well ok than." She stated.

"I've seen other crew talk to you on your left side." He said. She nodded her head.

"Yea I have a hearing aid."

"Oh"

"I'm not wearing it now, because I was trying to sleep." She said playfully and leaned back into the couch to look at him. He slouched in to the couch himself.

"Did I wake you?" she asked with visible concern in her voice. He stretch and yawned, and shook his head _eh. _

"I was awake already and I heard you in the mess."

"oh sorry." She sat back on the edge of the couch and resumed cleaning her rifle and drinking.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" he asked sweetly, playing with her long hair that dangled down her back and waves. She thoroughly enjoyed the feeling.

"The pain is keeping me awake." She said tiredly. He stopped playing with her hair and his hand went down to her lower back and rubbed, she let out a sigh of relief. He thought for a moment then said.

"I have some tiger balm upstairs that should help." But he wasn't paying attention. He stopped rubbing her back and went back to being all awkward and strained.

"Thanks." She said gruffly.

"You're welcome." He said and then started to ramble on quickly about leaving a way out and cutting corners. She turned slowly to look at him.

"The hell are you talking about." She asked with genuine confusion on her voice and in her face

"I'm just saying…try to leave yourself a way out. I've seen what cutting corners can do to someone. And I'd hate to have that happen to you, Shepard. Commander." He said shyly. She put her rifle down and placed her face in her hands and sighed.

"Alenko, we are the only two down here you don't have to call me commander." She said somewhat flirtatiously.  
"I wasn't speaking to you as my commanding officer, ma'am. I don't want to send any bad signals. Just working on what I picked up. You tell me if I'm going too far." He sat up timidly on the edge of the couch. She dropped her right arm looked at him with her face resting in her left hand.

"I'm not questioning any decision you've made, Shepard. Let me be clear about that. It's just my experience that once someone lets something slide, it tends to pick up speed. You get my meaning?" He continued.

"Alenko, if you have one failure, it's an inability to speak directly." She sighed her pain in her back had gone up slightly but noticeably.

"Sorry. I'm not looking to dump any baggage, Shepard." He said trying to sound emotionless. Trying, not succeeding. He continued "You know the records about the biotic training out on Jump Zero? They're all classified. Because the Alliance made mistakes. After first contact, Conatix was set up to track element zero exposures and develop implants for humans. Once we had an embassy on the Citadel, Conatix could bring in "experts" instead of taking it slow" She turned her head forward moving her left hand to let her middle finger and ring finger rub at her chin, and began dragging her index finger nail across her lower lip in thought .

"Experts? The only experts would have to be aliens" He perked up as she said the words.

"Dead on. Turians, actually. That's why Conatix kept it secret. They were afraid of what people back home would think. Asking the turians for help when we'd just fought a war with them." She did not share his same enthusiasm it was 3am after all.

"Why not the Asari? The asari would have been more acceptable than the turians." She stated in almost a grumble. Kaidan shuffled next to hear.

"Yes, but the company didn't go through the Citadel. It would have made Earth look weak. So they discreetly hired some turian mercenaries."

"Get your knuckles rapped a few times, Lieutenant?" She resumed inspecting her rifle. He heard a flirtatiousness in the her voice the way she asked. He tried to stifle a smirk at the idea that she was interested in him as well.

"Yeah, you could say that. Our instructor was a turian by the name of Commander Vyrnnus. To introduce himself, he liked to say, "I was at the helm of the dreadnaught that killed your father." I told him my dad wasn't in the war. He'd retired to Vancouver. My family had an inland home that matured to new beachfront. Vyrnnus had it in for me after that. He cut corners, pushed hard. I mean, you either came out a superman or a wreck. And a lot of kids snapped. A few died. The point of all this – I guess – is that when you cut corners, it's not always obvious who pays for it."

"So why are you telling me this? Is there something I can do to help you get over it?" He gave a short sigh still inspecting her rifle.

"I'm thirty-two, Shepard. You don't serve as long as I have without coming to terms with yourself. You also learn that if someone is special to you, you help them. Try to keep them from making mistakes."

"Special, huh?" She stole a coy look at him. He blushed slightly

"If I'm out of line, just say the word." He fidgeted nervously. She threw her hands up in exasperation.

"Its 3am!" she playfully exclaimed and looked around the room arms still up at shoulder length. "I'm sitting in my underwear drinking, smoking a cigarette's and cleaning my rifle and you think _you're_ out of line." She laughed half from exhaustion and half from his adorable demeanor. She dropped her hands between her knees and lay back with an exhausted sigh. "You're not out of line, Kaidan" she gave him a look sleepily through her lashes. Her voice was soft and soothing. The look she gave him sparked something in him. Maybe she was just half asleep and looking at him normally but the way her beautiful honey rimmed eyes looked up at him through those big beautiful lashes, made him want her so much more. He leaned forward turning to face straight looking out to the window. He returned to the stiff emotionally closed Lieutenant he was and said softly.

"But there are regs. I don't make a habit of complicating the chain of command." And like that she herself turned back into stone and sat up wide awake. He looked after her as she moved around the room grabbing her gear and the bottle of tequila placing the shot glass upside down on the bottle cap since her arms were too full to carry it. He looked up at her and was met with cold eyes and a hard expression on her face as she headed for the door.

"Then don't lead me on." She said softly but full of bitterness. He turned around looking after her as she exited the door.

"I didn't mean-" he called after her but the door shut and she was gone. " I didn't mean I wasn't willing to." He slumped into the couch with a defeated look on his face.

* * *

They were back on course but it was still going to take at least a day to get to Novaria. Kaidan made his way down to the smoking lounge to talk to Aela. She had come across to him as being interested in him but he had to make sure it wasn't all in his head. He walked through the door and found her seated in her usual spot, back to him, surrounded by her usual cloud of smoke, looking over a datapad. He walked to her on her right side remembering her left ear was out. _Though she would have her hearing aid in._ He reasoned to himself. She looked up at him and gave him an acknowledging head nod. He pulled the cigarette from between her lips before she could light it and tossed it over his shoulder.

"Do you have some time to talk now, Commander?" He asked hands on hips looking down at her. Her expression dropped.

"I'm getting really tired of you asking stupid questions like that Alenko. You clearly have something to say or you wouldn't have hunted me down and be standing here," she looked over his body studying his body language. "Standing here looking like this." She gestured to all of him.

"We haven't had time together since our last chat and…a lot was said. When we talked."

"All those words and you still said nothing."

"I don't want to distract you too much. Sorry. Not sure where I stand. You seem a bit, uh, distracted. By someone. "

"Like who?" She said with frustration, and growled as she ran her hand through her hair. She stood up and came closer to him hanging her head and rubbing the connective bone between her eyes she sighed and reluctantly added. "Alright, Alenko. Off the record, permission to speak candidly, cross my heart and hope to die. What _the hell _are you talking about?" she had extra emphasis on _the hell_. Saying it _thee Hell_. And now he felt like a dumbass because she obviously had no idea what he was walking about. He nervously searched for the words as he spoke

"Uh, Dr. T'Soni. Ma'am." He scratched at the back of his head "There's a lower-deck rumor that she's, uh, interested in you. As more than a source of Prothean data. She's a very interesting lady. Not to my, uh, tastes. But I never claimed to be big on alien culture." A look of disgust crept across her face.

"I don't like women, Kaidan." She was pissed now at the implications. He mentally braced himself. He was right to do since her body language changed and she was a ridged and commanding as ever. "Let me be clear." Her voice was firm, direct and loud. "Though I am an N7, and I am damn good at it. I can see, I guess, how most men would assume I'm a lesbian."

"ooo" Kaidan said quietly under his breath looking around the room in embarrassment. And of course today was the first time three other people were enjoying a quick smoke. They turned to see the briefing he was receiving, their eyes wide and all looking nervously around. He fucked up. Her Biotics flared ever so slightly around her as her fury built.

"But I assure you I am not. My sexual interest tend be more inclined towards though who have something dangling between their legs. Am I Clear Lieutenant?" He pressed his lips in an uncomfortable line, his hands on his hips, eyes wide and staring at the floor head cocked slightly right.

"mmm Hmm" he responded all he could manage was a sound and he was way too embarrassed to look her in the eyes. Her eyes glared around the room.

"OUT!" she screamed "and make damn well sure everyone know that I do not go that way." She said with a Drill Sargent's power in her voice. He made his way to leave.

"Oh no, Not you Lieutenant!" She caught him before could escape. _Merde. _ He swore to himself. She had composed herself and spoke more in disappointment then anger now. "Seriously?" she whispered. Noting her change in tone he looked into her eyes. She looked blankly past him out the window arms folded across her chest. _Well technically under her .. ANYWAY! _He snapped himself away. She was slouched defiantly daring him to say something. She took a sharp in hale and said. "You assume I'm interested in someone else because you heard a rumor _they_ were interested in me" she said flatly her voice soft. She looked at him raising an eyebrow.

"Are you seriously jealous?" She questioned him. He hung his head with a sigh, awkwardly and softly said

"It's just that – We don't have much downtime these days. And I like being around you. But I – I don't want to take up your personal time"

"Look, there's nothing between Liara and me. What's the real issue here, Kaidan?"

"No issue, Shepard. At least, not when you're around" there was a sultry in those words that made her have to stifle a grin. He continued

"I don't want to distract you too much. The deeper we get into this mess, the bigger it seems. I'm just looking for an ear. Seems like every other race in the galaxy is wrapped up in their own problems. They don't want to see what's coming." She relaxed slightly

"So can I guess this will add to your resentment against aliens?" She exhaled

"Resentment? Against aliens? I'm not – What makes you think that?"

"Don't tell me you and Vyrnnus hugged on graduation day"  
"Before I met Vyrnnus, I knew as much as any other civilian. Aliens were weird, superior, and tried to tell us what to do.I mean, it's only be 26 years since first contact. That's not a lot of time to understand them. It was Vyrnus who made me see how human aliens are. They're not different or special. They're jerks and saints just like us. Hell, by the time I got payback, I didn't even want it anymore"

"I'm glad to hear the bastard got what he deserved."

"He didn't deserv—" Kaidan broke off anger rising in him he lifted his left arm clenching his hand into a tight fits, closing his eyes and truing his head right in frustration. _Why was he also so ashamed to feel angry?_ She wondered her eyes watching him intently. He composed himself again

"He hurt Rahna. Broke her arm. She reached for a glass of water instead of pulling it biotically. She just wanted a drink without getting a nosebleed, you know? Like an idiot, I stood up. Didn't know what I was going to do…just something. And Vyrnnus lost it. Beat the crap out of me. Kept shouting how they should have bombed us back into the stone age. That's when the knife came up. A military-issue talon. Right in my face. I cut loose. Full biotic kick, right in the teeth. Almost as strong as I can manage now. At seventeen, that's something."

"You wanted to help a girl you cared for. That's a noble thing." She said dropping her arms and looking at the floor. He studied her wondering _what the hell else has she gone through in life to make her a kill first ask questions later kind of person? _

"Maybe my intentions were noble. But I lost control. I killed him, Shepard" She looked up at him into his eyes. Her face was nonchalant. _Am I supposed to be shocked or afraid?_ Her face said.

"Snapped his neck. They probably could've saved him, if they got him to an infirmary quick enough. But they didn't. Caused a stir when they shipped him home. BAaT training was shut down. Conatix folded a couple of years later. It's funny. I'm not sure which of us got the worst of what happened."

"Was Rahna all right?" She didn't really care when she asked but she knew he needed her to.

"Rahna? Yeah. Yeah, she was fine. We never really, uh – We stopped talking after that. Rahna had a gentle heart. She loved everyone. Vyrnnus terrified her. We all protected her from him. Everyone who – E-Everyone who loved her. But after what I did to him, she was terrified of me, too. Anyway, this is, um…I had a point here. Aliens are individuals. Just because one's an ass doesn't mean they all are. So yeah, I hated that turian. But he wasn't "a turian" to me. He was Vyrnnus."

"This explains a lot about you. That's why you're so self-controlled." She said observantly

"I'm no more disciplined than any other biotic, Shepard. This is all ancient history. I'm over it."

"Ha!" She laughed at her one observations. "Bullshit! Kaidan you are wound tighter than a clock. Not because of Vyrnnus, because of Rahna's rejection."

"That's – All right. Maybe you have a point. Maybe. But I'm okay. You don't have to worry about me. Fully functional human being. I won't be a burden on you. On the crew."

"Don't be so stubborn. Kaidan, you're a strong man. Talking about this doesn't make you a whiner, and it doesn't make you immature. It makes you human."

"All right. But it's embarrassing you had to tell me that. You're right. I might need to loosen up. A little. I'll try. Glad you'll be here when it's over, Shepard. I'm, uh…I'm looking forward to some shore leave."

"Oh yea I can help loosen you up" she gave a playful smile and wiggled her eyebrows at him jokingly. At least he thought she was joking. He smiled and retreated form the observation deck. He stole one last glance at her before the doors shut.

"Really?" he quietly protested to himself as his last sight of her was her lighting another cigarette. She a took a long drag and sighed in content before the doors shut behind him.


	4. Tiger Balm

On Novaria….

* * *

Aela was looking through shops for new armor since hers had a huge ass bullet hole in it, though it was a fruitless endeavor. All the armor she ever owned had been special ordered to fit her properly. She did find one armor set she really liked. It's was medium armor, high shield assist and excellent biotic/ tech protections. Kaidan was looking at some armor upgrades next to her, Liara was conversing with another asari off in the distance about…only the goddess knew. Kaidan looked over her shoulder at the armor she was inspecting. He looked at the open hole in the shoulder of her current armor. He looked at the price. He could buy it for her if she needed it. She grumbled something to herself and scrolled on looking for something else. He made his way over to her left side and looked at her ear and saw a faint almost unnoticeable blue light. _She's wearing it today. _He made a mental note of her hearing aid as he came close to her almost touching her he said softly.

"You should get that armor." She growled lightly at the words

"Did you not like it after all?" He asked. She shuffled in agitation. He stole a quick admiring look at her body/ "it seemed like it had what you would need-"

"They don't have my size." She snapped. "They never do" she sighed. "I'll just have to make a special rec order."

Kaidan moved closer and scrolled back up to the assassin armor she wanted.

"What's your size?" He asked.

"They don't have it" She pressed. He gave her a _come on_ look and she seceded.

"Extra Large chest piece, 26 for the waist, 36 for the hips, medium for the legs." She sighed.

She tried to watch what he was doing as he selected the armor and then a button here and a click there and then he slid his credit chit though.

"What did you do?" she stood there wide eyed in horror.

"Put in a custom order it will be ready in an hour." He said putting his credit chit away and turning walking towards Liar's general direction.

"Thanks" she said with embarrassment laced all through her voice. "I have my own money" she said quietly through her teeth.

"I know," he said nonchalantly, stopping at a food kiosk and buying coffee. "I also ordered a custom jumpsuit 36, 26, 36 right?" He asked taking a sip of his drink. His amber brown eyes looked at her over the cup. She eyed him suspiciously.

"How do you know my chest is a 36?" He almost had coffee come out of his nose as at her question. He coughed a few times her eye unrelenting. She folded her arms which didn't help her cause because it just drew his attention to her chest more. She quickly changed her mind and settled for hands on hips. He looked around nervously.  
"Well ugh, um, I, ugh kinda caught a glance at your bra sizes after Feros." He stammered out. She smiled up at him. He wasn't quite sure that was a good thing.

"Thank you. Thirty-six is my rib size by the way." She pointed out with a small smile._ damn it_ he though _well too late now_. She fumbled with her omi-tool a second and he got a ping. A messaged popped up stating that he just had a sum of 15,000 credits deposited into his account form Shepard. He looked at her slightly annoyed. But her warm smile made him relax as he said.

"First of all that isn't nearly enough." He paused to throw his cup away and her face went to mortification. _How much did he spend on me?_ "And secondly I don't want your credits. I got a bulk discount for buying yours with mine." He teased. She hadn't seen a playful side of him before, she liked it.

"I could have sworn that's how much the armor cost." She argued to herself.

"It was," He assured and continued to explain when he saw she was clearly confused. "But then you have to factor in customization expenses and a rush order free." He smiled at her.

"You didn't have to." Was all she could say, his sweet amber eyes met hers.

"I wanted to." He said "Or I wouldn't have." True enough. They met up with Liara and made their way to the hotel.

* * *

"ANND KAIDAN STRIKES AGAIN." Garrus teased Shepard as they sat in her smoking lounge. She was aggravated enough as it was that she let Kaidan convince her to let a Rachni queen live; now she had Garrus picking on her about it. She took long languid drags of her cigarette and was slow to exhale them. Garrus backed off a little when he realized this was her fourth one in fifteen minutes. He changed his tone.

"Well personally I think your perfect for each other." He said She shot him a look and said

"What? What makes you think anything's going on between us." She said it so fast she practically gave herself away.

"OH I don't know" Garrus looked playfully around the room "Maybe because almost anytime he suggests something you listen. And I seem to recall you were a lot more ruthless and merciless before when we met." She gave him a sly look out of the corner of her eye exhaling. Garrus waved the smoke away from his face she did that on purpose, he knew it. He side with resolve.

"Look I'm not making fun of you right now Shepard; I truly think he's good for you. Like I said you were a lot more ruthless before and though that is an admirable trait in most, it doesn't mean you have to kill everyone all the time. Don't you humans believe in that soul mates stuff?"

"Not me." She said emotionless.

"Well this will sound dumb but hell I didn't believe it till I saw it in you two."

She turned to look at him slowly. "Why? What makes you say that?" She eyed him suspiciously.

"Well if Kaidan isn't a walking, talking, breathing conscious I don't know what one is and you." He looked at her carefully as he chose his next words. "Well, you just seem to lack a, ugh….conscious." She sighed

"Noted." She said dryly. Her omi-tool pinged.

"Ugh Commander," It was Williams "You have a delivery." She slammed her face into her hands

"ah heh heh." Garrus laughed pointing lightly at her.

"If you want to keep that finger Garrus I suggest you retract it." She said standing, putting out her cig and headed to the elevator. Garrus shut up and dropped his hand but fallowed her to the shuttle bay.

Kaidan smiled at her picking up his own box and headed to the locker room.

"Here" He said handing her the box marked **_Custom_** on it. _Thanks_ She mouthed. He nodded and headed to the locker room. She opened the box and a note lay on top. She read it quietly to herself.

_Hopefully with this you can use your biotics to their full potential now_

_ That you have something that will fit you properly._

_-Kaidan_

"Ooo, is that a love letter Commander?" Ashley teased trying to steal a peek at the content. Shepard quickly crumpled the letter up and put it in her pocket.

"No." She said. Ash gave her a wry look like she was planning something devious.

"What'd ya get?" Ash asked.

"Armor."

"Wow you're big on conversation huh?" Ashley teased. Aela made and actual attempt to socialize for once.

"What are you up to Chief?" Ashley was surprised to hear the commander talk to her without being condescending or downright scary. Shepard walked over to her at the weapons bench.

"Ugh just going over messages from home." A younger female voice came over the recording.

"_Hey that Kaidan guy is really cute talk to you later sis!"_ Ashley nervously swatted at her laptop to stop the recording.

"You interested in the lieutenant?" She asked nonchalantly.

"Ugh no ma'am, besides he said he's already sweet on someone." Aela raised an eyebrow contemplating that one.

"Anyway was there something you needed ma'am?" Ashley addressed Shepard.

"No." Aela said heading to the locker room to try on her new armor.

* * *

The Armor fit like a glove. Al most 100% perfect fit. It was a little tight in the chest area as she expected. She had no idea how she would repay Kaidan but she would figure it out somehow. She exited the locker room and headed for the elevator when Wrex called for her.

"Got a minute, Shepard?" he asked

"Sure" she said walking over to him. "What do you need?"

"I just never see you down here, I'm curious. Do you not like talking with us Aliens?"

"I don't even like talking with humans." She responded which elicited a hard laugh from him. He knew she was telling the truth, any contact he saw her have with other humans was as short as possible and she always spoke bluntly.

"Do you like anybody?" he chuckled. She thought for a moment she liked Kaidan but she wasn't about to reveal that.

"No" she responded. Wrex let out a teasing laugh _heh heh heh, "_told you" he shouted over to Garrus.

Shepard turned to see Garrus behind her his face had a hurt expression on it.

"Well I guess I like you enough." She said and turned back to Wrex "I like you too." Wrex perked up slightly

"Really?"

"Yea," she said getting lost in thought. "Neither of you have given me a reason to kill you…yet." Ashley laughed at that in the background. "Well technically Garrus has, but I won't. I like the Quarian too she is funny to watch sometimes."

Wrex sighed in frustration. "Well then who don't you like?" He asked in agitation. Shepard thought a moment and then said. "Those People who are dead now." She said coolly and everyone became silent and slightly terrified of her. All accept Wrex, who whooped and hollered in approval. "Spoken like a true Krogan!" She smiled at him then returned to the elevator.

* * *

Kaidan approached her in the Lounge the next day. He had heard a few murmurs about what she had said the other day in the shuttle bay and he wanted to talk to her about it.

"Hey." She said snuffing out her cigarette before he did it for her.

"Hey Shepard I need to talk to you about something."

"OK what?"

"Well I've been hearing people talking, well gossiping more like, about something you said the other day to Wrex."

"Yea" she entertained him to continue.

"Did you really say you don't like people?" He asked gingerly. She pondered her conversation with Wrex and then took a quick in hale as she said.

"Technically I said I don't like talking with humans but yea it'd be safe to say I don't like people too much either." He buried his face in his hands and mumbled over them.  
"And you think _I'm_ the one who needs help interacting with people." She took a breath and stood

"Look, you, I like. I don't mind talking with or hanging out or what not," she broke off in thought for a moment and he looked up at her hiding his smile with his hands. _She likes me huh? _ Than finding herself again she continued.

"I even like the people I chose for a mission, but people on this ship in general, no I don't like them they're annoying." Kaidan closed his eyes and sighed.

"What about Joker." He asked

"What about him?"

"Do you like Joker?"

"Not the way I like you. But he flies the ship and gives me important information so yes I like him….I guess."

She studied his face for a moment then asked

"I'm sorry, why is this an issue?" he sighed standing and walked over to her leaning up against the window.

"Because the crew thinks you're going to kill them all in their sleep if you don't like them."

"Well that's illogical. I have no reason to kill people I don't like if they don't get in my way."

"Yea saying that doesn't help" He chucked lightly to himself. He rubbed his head he could feel a migraine starting.

"I don't see why I should care what the crew thinks of me. Or why you care what the crew thinks off me." She said observing his features.

"Oh so I'm wound tighter than a clock and need to relax, and something is wrong with me, you terrify your crew because your anti-social and you're just fine." He said playfully.

"Irrelevant, you are incapable of expressing emotion because of an incident when you were seventeen. I chose to hate people." _Sometimes she sounds like a machine. Does she even know that?_

"Do you realize you sound like a machine?" He asked out loud in the full throws of his migraine. He walked slowly to the couch and lay down with his eye shut.

"Oh sorry," She sat next to his head intentionally. "I ugh," she sighed and picked his head up and placed it in her lap massaging temples then the lower base of his neck and around his implant and then the back of his skull. He purred like a kitten the whole time, placing a smile on her lips. "I stopped caring about being social or liking people when I was sixteen, more or less."

"What happened" he asked the droll in his voice made her happy.

"Nothing, I don't want to talk about it."

"K" he sleepily whispered. She continued to knead her fingers into his scalp gently until she heard his breathing change and soft snores not even worthy of the word escaped his mouth.

* * *

He woke up sometime later. He opened his eyes slightly the room. It was dimly lit and he saw a datapad over his face and something else on his right he wasn't sure what it was or what he was laying on for that matter. _What the hell am I lying on_? His thoughts were disorientated. _It's soft and warm_. He thought closing his eyes once more. He tried to open his eyes once again. What were these to his right? He reached up to touch one and as his fingers lightly grazed one, the datapad moved and Shepard looked down at him. His eye focused and he realized he just touched her boob and sat straight up in embarrassment. She cried out in pain when he moved.  
"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to – Are you ok?" She grouped at the top of her thigh were his head had been lying she bent over in pain.

"Yea," She panted as if the wind had been knocked out of her. "I'm f-. I'm fine" she wheezed. He rubbed his head is migraine was gone at least.

"How long was I out?" he asked groggily.

"Two hours." She exhaled slowly through her mouth._ Two hours with my head in her lap her leg must be dead that's why she's in pain. _ She flexed her leg straight and stood "Oh it tingles" she cried. He laughed lightly at her

"I'm so sorry why didn't you move me?" He approached her to help her. she had her arms out stretched for balance. His left hand grabbed her right hand to help steady her. He walked closer to her so she could bend her arm.

"You looked peaceful." She said shaking out her leg regaining balance. He sighed. Holding her hand he looked down at her through his own lashes.

"You could have moved me." He said sweetly. She regained feeling in her leg and cracked her neck, and then placing the fist of her free hand on her lower spine she bent back giving loud long audible cracks up the entirety of her back. He winced at the sound. She let out a relieved breathe.

"That felt so good." She admitted to him which only made him laugh. He was still holding her other hand he grabbed to steady her earlier. She rested it on his chest. Their bodies were close almost touching. Her beautiful hazel-honey eyes looked up at him through her own thick lashes. He slowly lowered his face towards hers, giving her ample amount of time to push him away if she wanted to, his eyes drift to a close as his lips touched hers and he could swear he saw fireworks. Her full lips were soft as silk against his. Her lips parted allowing his tongue access to hers. He stepped forward placing his right hand on her lower back and pulling her in closer. The kiss intensified as he found something inside her mouth that wasn't there naturally, a plastic ball massaged his tongue back. _Is that a tongue ring?_ He thought, sparks flying in him even more. He let go of her hand on his chest and slide his left hand down her arm until his arm rested around her shoulders. The kiss started to pick up speed, and he found himself falling more into the throws of passion.

_Finally_ she thought to herself. As he wrapped his arms around her and brought her closer to himself. His lips were surprisingly soft and his tongue was powerful yet gentle inside her mouth. She felt herself letting go in his arms for the first time in her life. His hand slide down her back and she enjoyed it, yet… a familiar pang of anxiety struck her hard. His right hand came around to her hip and his grip was strong. The anxiety turned into terror as the flash back of being sixteen took her. She tried to pull away but he gripped tighter and without thinking she pushed him away from her biotically. Kaidan had no idea what had just happened. One minute he was kissing her holding her tightly and the next she knocked him to his ass with a biotic throw. Not a big one but none the less. He sat up and looked at her in confusion and what he saw he could have sworn was Rahna standing in front of him trembling. It was like he was seventeen again.

Aela stood trembling with her face in her hands. The flash back was intense, she felt like she was truly there again. She could feel Calvin's hands on her again and hear her own screams of agony as if she were making them now. She barely heard Kaidan's voice drawing her back to reality.

"Shepard." He called softly. He stood and approached her cautiously. "Shepard" he called again a little louder. _What I do this time. Damn it. This is just like with Rahna, ugh I fucked up again. _He thought at first until he came close to her again and realized Aela was in the middle of the throws of a horrible memory. _What was she saying earlier about when she was sixteen?_ He searched his memory desperately but she had only said she didn't want to talk about it.

"Aela" He said her first name softly for the first time out loud, and placed a hand gently on her right forearm. She snapped back to reality pretty quickly but not before almost throwing him again.

"It's me!" he shouted ducking as she raised her hand, her biotics flaring around them. _Over powered implant, right _he reminded himself_. _She was hyperventilating and looking around the room as if she didn't recognize where she was.

"Breathe." He coached to her as she returned from whatever horror she was trapped in. "Are you ok?"

She shook her head violently "No" she said and left the room almost in a full run.

* * *

_Ten years. I haven't thought about him or Elise or any of that in Ten years. _She groaned internally. How could something like that come back up so easily? _Because you never let a man close enough to you before now._ In her letting go of herself she let go of her control over those memories. _ And then you ran away! _She mentally yelled at herself. _You always knew you would have to explain what happened at some point in your life. But why now? _

* * *

She had been avoiding him for days until Vermire. She ran back for him as soon as she saw he needed help. And she didn't even feel bad about it. She would pick Kaidan again everyday, any day if she had to do that moment over and over for the rest of her life. Kaidan had caught up with her on the stairs after the debriefing and asked her.

"Why me?"

"You know why." She breathed

"After the other night I'm not so sure." She hung her head.

"I can't talk about that yet." She said weakly. Kaidan could hear there was pain and struggle in her voice just to think about it.

"I am so sorry about what happened," She looked him in the eyes and he thought she might burst into tears. "But I can't explain right now." She turned towards her cabin.

"Just to be clear ma'am," He said reaching for her and catching her gently by the wrist. She turned to look at him. "When you say sorry for what happened, do you mean kissing me or pushing me?"

"Pick one" she said and walk towards her cabin. Kaidan's heart sank slightly that was definitely not the answer he wanted. Wrex grunted past him bitterly mumbling about something on his way down to the shuttle bay. At least she was able to spare him.

* * *

She knew she was getting no sleep tonight. The pain was a 13 and there was no drug in the verse that could bring her down from that other than liquor. She sat silently sobbing at the table in the mess. Doing shot after shot after shot. And once in a while getting up and walking around. After an hour or two ,She was standing bent over the table resting on her forearms, forehead in her palms, when Kaidan came around the corner. She looked up at him for only a moment. The pain was so intense she couldn't focus. His face twisted in pain at the sight of her like this. He had a red jar in his hand as he made his way over to her. She had already drunk 75% of the bottle of tequila without any luck. He stood behind her in his pjs a plain gray t and black sweats. He lifted the back of her shirt revealing her lower back. He places the base of his palms again her lower spine and pushed gently and slowly up.

She exhaled at the slightest amount of release form the pain. He massaged her back for a few minutes and then dabbed whatever was inside the red jar on her back and kneaded it into her skin. It smelled strong. Like medication. She reached down and grabbed the jar. _Tiger Balm_. It read across the front. Kaidan spoke softly.

"It's an herbal mix that should ease the muscle spasms around your spine." She could already feel the pain dissipating. "I use it for my migraines." He added. Her eyes closed and she almost passed out right on the table. Kaidan gently lifted her to her feet and then scooped her up in his arms and carried her around the corner to her room. He placed her in bed and pulled the covers over her and began to leave back to his bunk when she protested ever so softly.

"Don't go." Her voice was barely a whisper. He stopped and looked at her. Her eyes were fixed on him.

"Don't go" she repeated but more begging then requesting. Kaidan sighed and against his better judgment walked back over and slide in next to her. She places her head in the cook of his shoulder and placed her right arm on his chest in front of her face_. This was heaven. _He thought. He felt her body's weight as she finally gave up her losing battle with consciousness and drifted off to sleep. _I'll stay for a few minutes to make sure she's really asleep, _was his last thought before he too fell to slumber.


	5. What goes around

WARNING: **There is extremely sensitive material in the chapter caution advised. This topic is personal for me and I don't wish to remind anyone of their own personal experiences with rape or abuse**. Please know i did not just randomly put it in here "make a story" it's just what i felt my Shepard's personal background was. I don't mean to be insensitive to this subject and i do not take it lightly.

* * *

Kaidan woke in discomfort, feeling extremely hot, he rubbed his hand across his forehead. He was sweating. He opened his eyes slowly scanning his surroundings. _I'm in the Commander's room. _He sat up at the realization. He looked over at her; she was cocooned in the blanket laying on her stomach facing away from him. The comforter was a made of heavy down. _Dear God how does she sleep in this it's like a hundred degrees in here. _He thought slipping out from under the comforter and trying to get out of the bed as lightly as possible. 4:30a.m. her clock read he'd been asleep four and a half hours. _Shit I said just a few minutes. _He yelled at himself internally and snuck out of her room. No one was up he, thought till he turned the corner and saw joker sipping some coffee with a shit eating grin on his face. _Well, damn. There was no getting out of this one._

"Hey Lieutenant." He said in his normal voice but Kaidan cringed as if it were a yell looking around the room fro anyone else, the rest of the ship still quiet.

Kaidan stared at Joker not sure how to handle the predicament he was in. Joker was the ship gossip and now Kaidan was royally fucked. Kaidan approached Joker mentally playing out different scenarios in his head.

"Just waking up or-"Joker started observing Kaidan still in his pjs. Kaidan placed his hands on the table leaning over and looking Joker in the eye he begged.

"I will pay you anything to not say a word about this." Seeing himself in a position to manipulate, Joker responded with.

"Well now, Lieutenant that sounds a lot like you're admitting to some incriminating evidence." Joker teased. _Fuck it._ Kaidan though and with a menacing tone he said.

"Never mind Flight Lieutenant, how about you say nothing or I break both of your legs, probably your pelvis and a few ribs by throwing you with my Biotics." Joker swallowed hard.

"I don't know why you're so angry you were just up getting a drink of water." He said letting Kaidan know he won.

"You're right," he said standing straight. "That's exactly what I was doing." He made a bee line for the crew's quarters before anyone else woke up.

* * *

Aela's alarm went off and she threw a pillow at it. _Make it stop. _She groaned to herself. Her head was pounding. _I really need to stop trying to drink the pain away. _Though hungover like never before, that was one of the best night's sleep she had gotten in years, since the pain first manifested. She pushed herself up sitting back on her heels and looked around the room for something…or was it someone…. _Someone was here before weren't they?_ She racked her brain trying to remember.

_'Don't go.' _She remembered calling softly and Kaidan crawling in to bed with her. She gasped in horror.

"Noooo." She hissed to herself. She remembered in her drunken stooper begging, quite literally, for him to stay with her. She looked over herself quickly. _Well my clothes are still on at least. If I hadn't just screwed the pooch with that one, well I think it's probably safe to say __**that's**__ over. _She got dressed and dreaded leaving her room, knowing damn well he was the very first person she was going to see. She got dressed and composed herself the best she could and headed out the doors. To her surprised Kaidan wasn't at his post… Well at least the confrontation was postponed, _for now. _She made her way to the med bay for her check in with Dr. Chakwas.

* * *

They had a few hours before they reached the citadel. She hated that place so unbelievably much. Well she really didn't hate it at much as the ass munches who ran the damn thing. She lay across the couch in her smoking lounge. More like hiding. Though it wasn't a good hiding place since everyone knew where it was and that she was always in it. She had her left arm draped over her eyes as her right and was doing its duty with her cigarette. She had her headphones in. It was pretty funny because the irony of it was she usually had to take her hearing aid out to put the left head phone in or it would cause a discomfort. But she'd usually do it anyway so she didn't look weird…er… _The Atlantic by Halogen Hills , _a 21st century artist, came flooding into her ear and she couldn't help but see the relevance in herself to this song. She listened to it through once then flipped it on again. Kaidan walked in and stood looking at her for a good minute before he tapped her. She moved her moved her arm and looked up at him. A flash of terror ran past her eyes quickly before she sat up and composed herself. She put the cigarette out, something she had become accustom too when he was around. Otherwise he'd do it for here. She took her headphones out and placed the small strip back in her ear after making sure the small blue light was on. He watched as she sat almost completely still while her thumb pressed the hearing aid gently into the top part of the inside of her ear.

"Believe it or not," She started trying to say something with a semblance of comfort. She turned to look at him. "I've actually gotten it suck in there before." She was referring to her hearing aid but he didn't bite. He reached down and grabbed her music player and before she could stop him he placed a speaker into his ear. _'The days become so alike it's hard to separate them. The waves crash upon my back. I'm under attack. I know they're looking from. I know their search lights are on. I'm so sick of this out here. I'm so cold and scared. I'm Hanging on to you' _he heard before she unplugged the headphone from the music player.

"Do you need something?" she asked turning the music player off. He sighed and gave her back the headphones.

"Are you ever going to talk to me again?" he asked she could her traces of fear and sadness in the question and she remembered their conversations about Rahna. _Fuck_. She mentally kicked herself. She rubbed her forehead. _He thinks im running away from him like she did._

"It's not you –"she started trying to reassure him that this wasn't going to be a repeat for him but he cut her off

"It's me right?" He snapped with anger. "That's how it goes right? _'It's not you, it's me'" _He recited the infamous break up phrase most people have heard and she turned to him.

"No! That's not what I was going to say." He waited for her to correct him. "I was about to say it's not your fault that I haven't been very talkative lately."

"Really it seems like it." He folded his arms across his chest.

_"_What do you even care you got what you wanted from me?" She snapped at him. He furrowed his brows in confusion. "What the hell are you talking about?" he said sharply. She rolled her eyes. _Like he didn't know, _she thought .

"Last night" She reminded him. He looked at her sticking his head forward as if he were waiting for her to say more before he replied. "Last night, what?"

"OK look I was shit face." She said. "So I don't remember anything passed you getting in bed with me." His face changed to anger. "You think I-" he caught himself shouting at her. He jutted his lower jaw out in frustration and growled in his thought.

"I told you I wasn't that fucking kind of guy." He said the words calmly in a controlled voice but that only made them sound more terrifying. She had never heard him drop the f-bomb. He must be furious. He turned to leave. She was confused. He stopped and turned back placing his hands, almost smacking them really, down on the back of the couch.

"For the record, Ma'am, "He spat the _ma'am_ out as in insult. "I stayed because you asked me to. And we only slept together." She gave him an: _oh, really I though you said nothing happened_, look. He shook his head.

"Not like that." He snapped. "You don't remember anything because you were passed out. Sleeping" he added emphasis on the sleeping. She vaguely remembered her snuggling into him and then nothing. She hung her head in embarrassment at the realization she just accused him of taking advantage of her when he had done no such thing. "I'm sorry, "She said hoarsely for. "The accusation. I just assumed-"

"Assumed what?" he shouted. "That I'm a guy and we are all the same, treating women like toys as soon as we get the chance to."

"No" she said softly shaking her head still looking at the ground.

"Then what?" he demanded.

"I don't know" she sighed biting her bottom looked adorable to him. He sighed calming down a little.

"I'd never take advantage of anyone," he said in a low voice. "Especially you." He walked over to her and lightly bumped into her on purpose. She looked up at him and their eyes met.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." He said.

"I'm sorry I assumed something that wasn't true. Friends?" He leaned against the window looking out.

"If that's all you want me to be." He said. She stared off in his direction contemplating that. She wanted more but, she didn't want another incident of throwing or hurting him every time something got intimate between them. But God did she want to be.

"Aela." He said her name softly and she looked up at him. "What do you want?" he asked and she could almost hear the hope in his voice. She looked down and exhaled.

"Not to through you across the room whenever I think about…." She trailed off. She didn't want to go there.

"Talk to me" His voice was sweet and comforting.

"About?" She said hoping to change the subject knowing it wasn't going to happen.

"About what happened. The other night," He paused. "When you threw me." He reminded her. She walked to the other side of the room folding her arms and he could almost physically see a wall come up over her.

"Memories." She breathed.

"What kind?" he never took his eyes off her.

"The kind about when I was fourteen." She said quickly trying to just get it over with. He was confused he though she had a bad time when she was sixteen. "Maybe I was fifteen." Her voice was lost in thought. "I can't remember. I was there for so long."

"Where?"

"In Calvin Michigan's basement." She whispered deep in her memories. Kaidan stood straight up he remembered seeing the news report about Michigan when he joined the Alliance. Calvin Michigan was a big wig politician who was always hosting Charity events for the Alliance, and has been cought kidnapping young girls torturing, raping and God knows what else to them. To think that Aela was one of them, his world almost stood still. He couldn't even begin to imagine what she felt. His pain about Rahna all these years was nothing compared to what she must be going through.

"Oh my God." He breathed. She stared blankly into the corner of the room.

"You don't have to talk about it." He said walking over to her.

"Yea I do." She said without emotion.

"When I finished the funeral ceremonies for my tribe I had nowhere to go so I did a lot of wondering. When I was fourteen I came to a colony in Wyoming, and met a girl named Ciara Bronze." He knew that name he thought a moment then asked.

"Not Lieutenant Commander Bronze?" he asked

"One and the same." She said glancing over at him. "Like me she had no one but the Reds and offered to take me to see Marco, who ran the Reds. Marco needed a new Currier so he let me stay." _That's why her back and legs were messed up._ Gang Currier's were usually younger kids running around the town using acrobatics to climb buildings and out doge cops. She continued.

"Ciara was my only friend and the feeling must have been mutual because we went everywhere together. That's how we found Elise." She took a long pause and Kaidan wasn't sure if she was still in the present. Then she spoke again. "Elise was a smell five year old girl with dark brown hair and blue eyes. Her parents had been murdered in a mugging gone wrong. So Ciara and I took her with us. We promised her we would protect her and we did a damn good job at it. Marco even came to like her. She was like a little sister to all of us. One day a few months after we found Elise, we started hearing reports of girls going missing between the ages of 4 and 16. We asked Marco if he could spare a few guys to go with us one night, which he refused. Said we could take care of ourselves if we had to. He sent Ciara and I to the same part of town where the reports were coming from, which was not our normal rout at all. In hind sight I should have realized he was setting us up but what he hadn't planned on was Elise being the one getting taken not us." She took a long pause and said angrily "She wasn't supposed to be with us that night! But she begged Ciara to bring her. I barely saw who took her and chased him a good 3 miles to a shady house, quite close to our normal rout actually. Ciara went back to tell Marco what happened. When I caught up to Elise's captor i didn't see the other guards. One of the guards knocked me out when he saw the grab man was followed. They brought me in front of Calvin and told him I followed one of their guys there. He ordered the grab man executed for messing up. And then tried to figure out what he was gonna do with me.

See he had certain 'duties' for every girl he kid napped. Some were maids at his mansion, some were torture toys for when he had a bad day, and some were his personal sex toys." Kaidan ground his teeth in disgust as his anger built in him. He didn't want to hear anymore but he could tell this was something she needed to get off her chest.

"I volunteered to be every one of them," Kaidan almost lost it when she said that. "On the condition he let Elise go. To my surprise, he agreed."

"Oh my god." Kaidan breathed. But she wasn't finished.

"Two years," The room spun for him. "Two years I spent being beaten, sexually violated, and locked in a cage in the basement of his mansion. I could hear the parties he had upstairs when members of the parliament would visit." Kaidan felt sick. How could such powerful leaders not know this was going on or worse not stop it?

"Did you escape in the raid on his house?" He asked, she laughed. He didn't see what was so funny till she explained.

"I'm the reason there was even a raid on his house. Calvin fucked up." She said a bitter edge returning to her voice. "We were usually ushered around to him in shifts. When never saw or heard from one another unless we passed each other outside his door. And more often than not we saw girls being dragged out. Their lifeless bodies being pulled by their hair or a foot as if they were merely garbage left lying around the house; usually I had the pleasure of being in the room with one of the bodies for a good thirty minutes before someone came to get it." Kaidan felt like he was going to throw up. _What malice, what blatant disregard for life._

"One night I was being brought up and, I don't know what great plan the universe holds for us but somehow the guard fucked up enough to let me in the room when Calvin yelled at him not to let me in, and there she was. Elise's body lay lifeless in the middle of the room. Her eyes still open and looking at me as blood trickled down her mouth. The bastard had beaten her to death with his cane." Kaidan sat down placing his hands over his mouth and nose. He couldn't breathe.

"Remember now, I had my implanted put in when I was twelve." He looked over at her as she paused a smile spread across her lips "So I cut lose. Removing the shackled around my wrist with ease and I through that dumb ass guard across the room and he hit the wall with enough force that he died on impact. I slammed the door shut and barricaded it with one of his book cases I moved biotically with ease. The fear in his eyes was a delightful view as I beat him to death with the same scalding metal pipe he use to use to beat me with and right before the life left his eyes I did what he use to always do to me when I got close to passing out from the pain of seared skin and broken ribs. I injected him with adrenaline and switched to the wooden cane."

_Oh dear god, no wonder she freaked out on him the other night. He was lucky she only threw him and lightly at that._

"How did you start the raid then?" He found the words leaving his mouth before he could stop them.

"There was a party going on upstairs, All Alliance board and some Admirals, when I started kicking ass and taking names. In their true dumb ass-ary the guards when upstairs and asked the Admirals for help."  
"WHAT!?" Kaidan yelled in shock.

"Yeah," She said turning to look at him. "They asked the Admirals if they had any troops nearby that could help them with an incident down stairs. When the admiral inquired about the incident the guard said, and I quote, 'One of the older girls has locked and barricaded herself in the panic room with Calvin and no one can get to him.'

Needless to say this raised enough eyebrows and the Admiral was smart enough to figure out what was going on and called it in. Rear Admiral Hackett, whom the guard had spoken too, found me siting triumphantly in Michigan's leather high back Chair smoking a cigarette. I had covered Elise's body as best I could. But I propped my feet on Calvin's body like he was a foot stool." She snickered to herself as she recalled the look on Hackett's face.

"It took four marine to move that book case." She almost gloated.

"Wait so you could have escaped at any time then?" He asked

"Yep" She nodded her head.

"Then why didn't you?" He almost sounded angry again.

"Because I made a deal, Elise would go free and I would stay forever." She said softly looking at the floor her triumph gone.

"But he never let her go." He said understandingly

"Nope and that's why I killed him." He mused at her.

"You sacrificed yourself for her." He said seeing her in a different light now. She sacrificed her one life for someone she cared about. She wasn't a mean and heartless like so many people thought. She had just been beaten down by the world enough to start beating back at it.

"Like it did any good." She scoffed.

"I'm sure if Elise knew, it would have meant a great deal to her." He reminded

"Yeah," she sighed rubbing her chin in thought. She truly was the strongest person he ever met.

"How did you end up with the Alliance?"

"Well I told you Hackett was impressed with me. So after the girls were sorted out at the hospital, getting medical checkups and all that goodness he asked who my next of kin was to contact. I told him I didn't have any. He thought for a moment and then made a few calls next thing I know I'm waiting outside the hospital for a Lieutenant David Anderson to come hall me off to the ascension program. This was when it first started before Grissom was built so it was housed for a few years on Elysium. Being a ward of the state doesn't leave you with many choices. I enlisted when I was eighteen. My ASVAB scores were high enough for them to try to put me in for engineer or infiltrator…twice."

"But you chose Vanguard?" He said with playful sarcasm. "If you're as smart as your ASVAB scores say you are than you sure settled."

"Yea I like hand to hand combat." She looked around the room and plopped down next to him. "It reminds me of hunting with my tribe. Mind you those were bears and not heavily armed geth troops but same basic principle." She joked. She lounged back into the couch. She felt lighter somehow. He slouched into the couch cushions and she placed her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you." She said softly. He turned his head and rested it on hers.

"For what?" He asked.

"Listening." He sighed.

"Of course, you listened to me so why wouldn't I listen to you. I wouldn't be a good friend if it was always all a about me you know." He joked.

"Just a friend?" she asked sheepishly. He sighed again. He looked down and saw her right arm lying on the couch he slide his left arm over to hers and put his hand to hers palm to palm and laced his fingers in her.

"No one could know you know that right?" He said. She didn't care her hear fluttered as he placed his hand in hers.

"Yea," She whispered. "I know." He turned and kissed the top of her head. He was content to just sit with her like this.


	6. Anger Management

They had some time to kill on the citadel before the council meeting. Everyone had properly disbursed to stretch their legs being reminded to keep an eye out for her to send a recall to their Omni-tools. Wrex made his way to Chora's Den, Garrus made plans to meet up with some old C-Sec buddies he invited Tali to go with him which she reluctantly agreed too when she realized she didn't have anything to do herself. Liara was up on the presidium enjoying the view.

Kaidan and Aela walked through the lower wards away from the crew's prying eyes. They stopped at a café to get something to eat. Aela looked thoroughly over the menu in great detail but nothing seemed to stand out at her, or it was some dextro crap, or something she was allergic to. Kaidan leaned on counter having already selected what he wanted, and traced lines gently on the back of her left hand that rested on the counter top.

"Tell me something I don't know about you." He purred. She lifted her eyes from the kiosk in thought. She pursed her lips and said.

"I'll allergic to cats…" She paused momentarily returning her eyes to the kiosk and said absent mindedly. "And Nuts, and seafood." Which seemed to be the primary ingredients on the menu, including the cats.

"No," He laughed lightly. "Something important, that you haven't told anyone else." He saw the look in her eyes getting lost in thought again and then said, "I _hate _being touched." Extra emphasis on the hate part. He quickly retracted his hand form hers and apologized. She looked at him confused; she hadn't noticed the irony of the situation.

"No," She realized only after he had removed his hand from hers. "I don't mind you touching me." She corrected. "I actually like when you touch me. But just in general I don't like shaking hands or hugging people. And I have no idea how a handle the situation when someone is crying or upset. It's just beyond me." She said in bewilderment referring to her last sentence.

"A Ha!" she said triumphantly as she found something she could eat without needing an epipen. He looked over at her selection on the Kiosk.

"Peanut butter sandwich, really. I thought you were allergic to nuts." He said playfully.

"Peanuts are legumes," She corrected but nothing was going to bring her down she smiled wide. "And it's not _just _a peanut butter sandwich .It's a peanut butter honey sandwich." She playfully gloated He rolled his eyes at her.

"You added honey, great how much is that gonna put me out?" He playfully jested as he pulled out his credit chit but before he had the chance she slide hers and pressed _Confirm Order._

"Ha!" she said once again in triumph. He snorted a laugh at her.

"You're adorable." He added putting his chit back. They moved to the waiting area for their food.

"I love honey." She stated returning to his request for unknown knowledge about herself. "Fun fact for you, if you're feeling sick you should eat honey for its anti-viral effects."

"You are such a nerd." He laughed letting his head drop back looking at the ceiling.

"What about you? Tell me something I don't know about you?" She asked picking up a foam cup and pouring some hot tea into it. He exhaled as if he were about to give her some bad news.

"Ok." he said with playfulness in his voice he looked down at her eyes and said with as much of a serious tone he could muster. "I'm Canadian." She laughed and playfully smacked him on the chest. "I said something I didn't know. That's in your file." She smiled sipping her tea. God he loved her smile.

"Well in that case, you have an unfair advantage over me, Commander." He said putting his hand around hers and the cup and bringing it up to his face he took a sip his eyes looking at her over the rim._ Mmmm._ She heard the sound in his throat.

"That's good." He said releasing her hand and turning, grabbing a cup of his own and pouring from the same canister. He read the label on the metal canister. _Orange Blossom/ Green. _ The small orange plaque read. He made a mental note to pick some up before they left. Their order was up he went to retrieved it just as Aela's omni-tool went off. It was Anderson informing her that the council was about to start with or without them.

"No time to eat." He said replacing the tray and shot gunning his tea. She did the same and he tossed her sandwich to her.

"Hate to eat and run." She smirked at her pun.

"Please tell me that was _not_ your attempt at make a joke." He said in all seriousness. Her smile faded and she shrugged.

"Come on." He said embarrassed for her. "And leave the jokes to Joker."

* * *

"God damn it what is she doing down there?" Joker bemoaned a loud to no one in particular. Kaidan sat next to him at the helm.

"What's going on?" He asked looking over at him. Joker flicked his wrist and the panel swept over in front of him.

"Take a look." The panel was full of alarms going off in the shuttle bay.

"You're girlfriends gonna cause a hull breach if she keeps at it." Kaidan glowered at him and looked around making sure no one heard. Kaidan got up and made his way down to the shuttle bay.

"I'll check it out." He called to Joker.

"I think you meant _her." _Joker teased under his breath_. _Kaidan gave one last annoyed look made his way down the alley

.

_Udina that sun of a bitch!_ She mentally yelled as she threw crates and equipment around the shuttle bay biotically. Wrex, Tali, and Garrus were hiding in the hall way to engineering only peeking out every once in a while when things got a little quiet.

"Shepard!" Kaidan shouted stepping out of the elevator trying to get her attention as she had started to lift the mako. She spun around to look at him. He saw blind fury in her eyes, and approached cautiously. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her biotics settled and the mako thudded hard to the floor. She turned surprised at the sound.

"That was hovering 3 feet off the floor." He said pointing to it.

"Really?" She asked. _She did that unconsciously!? _He thought lifting his eye brows in surprise. _Super Charged biotics was an understatement._

"What are you doing down here?" She asked

"Joker sent me to check out the alarms." He said moving to a console next to the elevator. She cocked her jaw out to the right and grimaced. He took a quick survey of the room and saw no one. _ At least the crew lived_.

"Remind me to stay on your good side." He said turning his attention back to the panel he made a not and then turned the alarm off.

"Thank you." Joker's voice sounded over the comm.

"What's the damage?" She asked.

"Ugh nothing major just some sensory alarms." He scanned the walls seeing dents here and there on the walls. "Probably from whatever that was." He pointed to it. She followed his finger up the wall.

"A locker I think." She said in deep thought. Seeing his opportunity, since no one was around he relaxed, and came closer to her and putting his arms around her waist. "I know your pissed but we'll catch him, Joker has a course set for Ilos and I'm fairly certain if it takes us a day to get there it's going to take Saren the same amount of time." He kissed her temple and she brought her own arms up around his waist.

"Yea but he has a head start." She grumbled into his chest. She felt the soft rumble in his chest as he made the _Hmh_ sound.

"Well destroying the ship from the inside out isn't going to get us caught up any faster." He said softly.

"I guess your right" She sighed lifting her head from his chest.

"Augh." Garrus coughed loudly to inform the two of them of his presence along with Tali and Wrex whom looked annoyed that Garrus had spoiled the show. Kaidan jumped almost a full foot away from her when he head Garrus. She placed her hands on her hips and looked toward the weapon's bench.

"That'll be all Lieutenant." She said pretending nothing had happened.

"Aye, Aye Ma'am" He said fallowing her lead and retreated to the elevator.

"Cutting it a little close there Shepard," Garrus said in low voice coming over to inspect the mako for any permanent damage.

"Yea," She agreed. "Ugh Sorry about the, ugh…." Her voice trailed off as she took a look around at the disaster of what use to be the shuttle bay. Broken Boxes, a few toppled lockers and packing peanuts scattered the entire room. "This" she gestured to the room and began picking up handfuls for debris.

"Heh heh heh" Wrex's low laugh rumbled through the room. "That's how you do it! Wish he hadn't stopped you I wanted to see what would happen with the mako." Shepard rolled her eyes. Garrus gave a damning look at Wrex. How dare he joke about his baby.

"I'm confused," Tali was speaking to Wrex quietly form the hall way. "Is it normal for the humans to act in such a way as the Commander and the Lieutenant were, with the rest of their crew?"

"No, Quarian, that wasn't between The Commander and Lieutenant, that was between Shepard and Alenko."

"I don't understand the difference."

"That wasn't an interaction between to officers. It was just a personal thing."

"Oooohhh." The Light bulb dinged over her head. "I thought that kind of thing wasn't allowed in alien militaries?"

"It's not." Wrex grunted as he started to help clean up. He frowned in displeasure; she had destroyed the boxes he liked to sit on.

"But then why?" Tali started in confusion and then gave up "Oh never mind I'll never understand these humans." She huffed retreating to the drive core.


	7. Kiss me like you want to be loved

A/N I did my best to portray this without making trying to make Shepard sound too girly since she isn't.

* * *

That night she got into her pj's and sat at her desk rubbing her temples going over the news on her laptop. Reports of Anderson "Assault" on Udina were already up. She dropped her left hand and shook it as she felt the tingly numbness in her pinky and ring finger.

"UGH" She reclined back in her chair in frustration. She stood to stretch her back, it popped loudly several times. The pain was a meager two, just enough to annoy her. She paced the room for a few minutes then lay down on her left side. She placed her right leg in front of her and her right hand on her hip and pushed her upper body in the opposite direction while pushing her hip down towards the mattress giving a loud crack in her lower spine.

"Ahhhh" She gave a deep sigh of relief and switched to the other side. She lay in the center of the bed cuddled her body pillow, which was usually stuffed up against the wall during the day, and was just happy the pain was gone….for now anyway. There was a knock at her door.

"Come in" she called and twisted her upper body do her shoulders lay on the mattress. Kaidan walked in.

"I'm sorry did I wake you?" He asked._ She hardly ever gets any sleep between the pain and the insomnia and now I'm bugging her. Great._ His inner monolog was brooding.

"No." She shook her head sleepily. She was comfortable for the first time in days there was no chance in hell she was moving from her spot now even if he said Saren was at the door asking to have a tea party.

"You look comfortable maybe I should come back later." He started to back away through the door.

"No it's fine really. I mean I am comfortable so don't expect me to stand or anything special. But I'm fine if you just want to talk or hangout or something." She said lazily from her cozy spot the pain had subsided she didn't even notice it anymore. He walked over to her chair and spun it around to face her.

"Hell of a day." He said slumping down in to the chair. She turned her head lazily in his direction.

"We're a hell of an example of humanity's best and brightest, huh? We mutinied, stole a prototype warship - if they wanted to get technical, they can throw in kidnapping." He sighed closing his eyes and running his hands through his hair.

"I don't know about the "example" part. But as far as saving the galaxy, how good are first-timers supposed to be?" She twisted her neck lightly and it gave off a mall crack on the left then the right

"Fair enough." He said sitting forward in the chair resting his head in his left hand. She shivered and twisted from side to side as she pushed the blankets down for her to get under it. He shook his head.

"How do you sleep in that thing? It's so heavy I woke up in a pool of my own sweat." She smiled and pulled her right leg out from under the covers and pressed the top of her foot to his forearm.

"Jesus your foot is ice!" He exclaimed and grabbed her ankle playfully with his right hand when she tried to retract it. He dropped his left hand and began massaging her foot.

"I'm always cold so this blanket is awesome." She said with a droll in her voice.

"Oh don't get me wrong it was soft as hell, like sleeping with a cloud draped over you but, it's too thick for my taste." He tapped her foot when he was done "Give me the other one." She moaned her displeasure.

"But I'm comfortable." She playfully protested. He chuckled lightly

"Well I would join you but," He looked at her position in the middle of the bed with the pillow occupying the space he had slept in the other night. "I don't think id fit." His voice was flirty yet playful at the suggestion. She smiled up at him and tossed the body pillow behind her and scooted back a little. _There went my comfy spot he better accept the offer or I might smack him. _ He undid his boots and removed them then crawled in next to her.

"You really want that foot massage." He teased. She laughed lightly then dragged her left knee slowly up his leg till her knee touched his chest.

"Damn right I do." He chuckled and placed his hands on her ankle and the ball of her foot. She closed her eyes and made little hums of approval. He wished he could stay with her like this forever.

"It'll really hit the fan when we get to Ilos. If things don't go well, I want you to know – Well, I've enjoyed serving under you."

"Kaidan, I don't think I've had the pleasure of you serving under me." She teased flirtatiously.

"I walked right into that didn't I?" He chuckled "We could get drummed out of the service for fraternization. Of course, we'll probably get the firing squad for mutiny."

"Kaidan you're lying in bed with me massaging my feet and you slept here the other night. I'm pretty sure it's safe to say we've thrown caution to the wind." He let go of her ankle and she slid her leg back down him. She rolled her hips back and bent her legs placing her heels to her backside. She wiggled a little and adjusted herself till her lower back lay flat to the bed. The thumb of her left hand played with her scar that ran down her lips near the right corner. He looked at her tattoo and noticed just at the bend where her bicep meets her joint, a fresh new flower that looked like all the rest accept it was new, like she had just gotten it done.

"You got a new tattoo?" She glanced at her arm momentarily.

"Yea" she said still playing with her lip.

"What are all these flowers for?" He had been meaning to ask her since he first saw that tattoo.

"There is one flower for everyone I cared for who has passed." There were easily twenty individual roses.

"Starting with this one," She pointed to the side of her wrist. "This is Elise. Then a few for people I was close to in my tribe, And finally, Ashley" She referred to the new one. He turned lying on his right side and ran his fingers through her hair. She dropped her left hand to her ribs and took her bottom lip into her mouth chewing on it.

"I think about losing you and I can't stand it" he whispered. She looked him through long lashes. She turned back on her side facing him and scooted closer. She took his right arm and placed it under her side, and slid her left arm between his neck and the pillow and slid her fingers up the back of his neck into his hair. Her right hand rested on his chest and she pressed her lips softly to his. He put his arms around her and pulled her body as close to him as possible. Her lips parted and his tongue started exploring hers. The plastic ball of her tongue ring massaging his. He heard the hum of her biotics and snapped himself away quickly. Her eyes slowly opened in confusion she wasn't prepared for his lips sudden departure from hers. He saw her biotic aura slowly fade away

"What's wrong?" She asked breathlessly. He shook his head lightly

"Sorry Aela, I just," He paused searching for the words. "After what you told me about Calvin and what happened the last time I got carried away I just, don't want you to feel rushed or," He sighed. "I want you but…" He trailed off. She sighed.

"Thank you." She said. "But," She played with the lining of his shirt collar. "I'm not totally broken Kaidan. I spent years talking about what happened with professionals. In fact it was something Hackett made sure I got. I still have to check in with one once every other week. The flash back I had wasn't because I never dealt with what happened. But because I have never _actively_ tried to move on….With another person." She said slowly almost embarrassed. _Am I hearing her correctly? _

"So," He paused trying to wrap his head around what she was saying. "I'm the first….you have….." She stared hard at her fingers. He studied her for a moment then put his hand under her chin and lifted her head gently to look at him.

"That's not something to be embarrassed of. What you went through couldn't have been easy to deal with. I know your stubborn as hell and don't want to admit it, but its ok to feel weak about this. Weren't you the one telling me talking about this doesn't mean you're weak or whining?" He said reminding her.

"But I don't want you to be afraid of touching me."

"I'm not"  
"Yes you are. You just pulled away from kissing me because it started to progress." This time it was him who looked away. He turned over on his back staring intently at the ceiling. _Damn it she's right. I'm worried about hurting her unintentionally but I wouldn't say I was afraid of touching her. _

"Hell," She sighed "If we're all dead this time tomorrow. I'd regret not being with me." She joked. He gave a small laugh and smiled still staring at the ceiling. _She's right about that too_. He turned his head back to her and their eyes met. À l'enfer avec elle_! I'll just ease into this situation gently giving her plenty of time to back out if she needs to. _He rolled back over to her wrapping her in his arms. He moved his lips close to hers almost touching them and said.

"Please warn me before you throw me or anything if you feel overwhelm—" but he didn't get to finish his sentence. She slammed her lips on his hard, invaded his mouth with her tongue. This time it was his own biotics he heard flare as she pushed him to his back then pulled away momentarily to push his shirt over his head and toss it abstractly without looking in the direction it went. Her mouth was about to return to his when he stopped her his hand on her ribs, thumbs above her navel.

"Aela, I'm serious" He panted

"Kaidan if I didn't trust you enough to try this," Her breath was equally as rapid as his. "I wouldn't." His arms gave and their mouths entwined once again. He trailed soft kisses from her chin down her neck. He repositioned his hands on her hips and slid his hands up her sides and hooked his thumbs under her shirt taking it with them on their soft ascension over her body. He tossed her shirt aside and hooked his strong arm around her waist and rolled her over onto her back returning his mouth to hers. She could feel his erection pressing into her left thigh like a rock against her. She hurriedly unclasped the belt of his pants and pushed them as far down as her reach permitted. He rolled over to the side of the bed he had previously occupied and kicked his pants off the rest of the way along with his socks then returned to her in nothing but his boxer-briefs. His left armed was under her providing support for him while cradling her close to him while his right hand kneaded gently at her breast. He trailed kisses down her once again this time he wasn't stopped by the neckline if her shirt and he proceeded down taking the time to suckle gently on each breast. He removed his left arm from under her and pushed himself up sitting on his heels he trailed his hands lightly down her rib cage tracing the faded marks of past trauma and over her curves until they reached her shorts. He hooked his fingers into the elastic of her shorts and panties in one move and slid them down her toned thighs and threw them aside. He ran his hands gingerly over the skin of her legs trialing kissed from her ankle up. The softness of his lips sent shock waves of heat and energy through her. He nibbled on the sensitive skin of her thighs then up to her hip he sucked at her skin and ran his tongue across the area. _He just purposefully game me a hicky_. If that wasn't placing his flag on her to claim her to him, she didn't know what else would. She had to stop herself form laughing as she though _I have been claimed in the name of Canada. _It turned out not to be the hard since he quickly found her clit with his lips after that and ran the tip of his tongue over it in rhythmic circles. She let out short rapid pants as she felt a delightful energy start to rush through her as he slid one finger into her slick center followed by another. Her hands tangled in his hair. Her climax was building up and she started to give loud moan of joy, her hands balled into fist in his hair and her thighs shook uncontrollably. His gentle laps turned into soft suckling and that was it, her orgasm ran through her like a tsunami and she cried out his name. Her hands released from his hair as he released his hold on her. She was swimming in the aftermath and barely heard him fumbling around the room for something. She heard the sound of something tearing and then he returned to her. His mouth was on hers again. She could taste herself on him and felt his hard erection in between her legs. At some point, she wasn't quite sure when, he had thrown his underwear over with the rest of their clothes. She placed her hands on his hips her thumbs feeling the taught muscles in his lower abdomen. Her fingers ran up his side and onto his back sending goosebumps over his body. Her nails dug into his back as he slid into her filling her. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she gave a long moan of pleasure. His right hand found its way up to her hair and tenderly his fingers tangled into her long black-brown hair. His left arm slipped under her and his hand airily caressed her shoulder. With all his weight on his elbows, his mouth was near her ear and she felt his hot breath exhale across her neck as he slowly rocked his hips to and from her, letting out his own delightful grunts. She gingerly scrapped her teeth across his right shoulder as she nuzzled her head into his neck. His hips slowly picked up speed and she felt the rapturous rush of energy returning. She panted his name and gave out another cry of pleasure his hips gave a final deep slam into her and she heard his own grunt of satisfaction at the same time. His fingers released from her hair and softly caressed the back her neck and skull his left arm wrapped around her waist under her. He held her in a tight loving embrace and for the first time she though _I am safe here._

* * *

_That was nothing like what Calvin did to me._ She thought as he lay beside her his lean muscular arms around her waist as she nuzzled the back of her head. _That was...I don't even know. Amazing. It wasn't about getting his own way with me. And the way he touches me is like... _She trailed off in thought trying to comprehend how she felt this damn good. She felt his head moved back on the pillow and he asked.

"You're hair..." He started to speak and removed his left hand from her waist and and played with the two inches of hair that had started to grow where she had previously had it shaved.

"Yea I got tired of taking care of it." she jested.

"That'll be interesting to see when it's grown out."

"What you don't think I'll look good?" she tried to sound playful but she only came across as half a sleep.

"Like you could ever not look good." He purred and nuzzled back into her shoulder. She let a soft chuckle and they drifted contently off to sleep.

* * *

"Are we seriously about to make this drop?" Kaidan asked nervously as they emerged from the locker room in their gear and made their way to the mako.

"We don't have a choice." Shepard called over her shoulder. Liara came bounding out of the elevator and made a way to the locker room when Shepard stopped her with, "Where do you think you're going?" Liara stopped in her tracks a confused look on her face.

"Ilos is a prothean ruin right? I assumed-"Shepard cut her off

"You assumed wrong" She said coldly as Liara looked over to see Garrus coming from the locker room with a finger adjusting the neck of his under suit.

"But" She started to protest as the group made their way to the mako. Kaidan climbed into the driver's seat prepping it for the drop shaking his head muttering something under his breath in another language. Shepard turned to Liara outside the hatch.

"Look Liara, we don't have any time to waste and I don't need you poking around making us stop at every time you find something interesting." Shepard said curtly. Liara's shoulders dropped in disappointment.

"Ok." She sighed and headed back to the elevator. Shepard climbed in and the passenger seat next to Kaidan who shot her a _here goes nothing_ look.

"Little harsh there Shepard." Garrus said with a grunt as he sealed the hatch behind him. She shook her head.

"We don't have the luxury of being nice right now, Garrus. Every minute wasted is a minute Saren gains and I will be damned if he gets what he's after." Garrus strapped himself in in the back seat not about to argue since she mad a valid point. Shepard patted herself down.

"Where the hell are my cigarettes." She wondered out loud. Kaidan pretended not to hear her but his ears started burning when she stared at him then turned to Garrus who gave a wavy.

"What?" She growled her displeasure they both had a guilty look on their face.

"We'll talk about this later. Both of you." Jokers voiced came in over the QEC.

"Prepare for drop in 3…2…..1"


	8. Last Cigarette

**A/N **: In Combat Shepard is using weapons and biotic moves from ME2 because i found the biotics offered to vanguards in ME1 wanting, and i don't care fro shot guns, and it doesn't make since to me to magically know how to use SMG's in the 2nd game and not the first so yea..

* * *

"Son of a bitch!" She slammed her hand against the door that separated her form her target.

"He had to have activated the security system somehow let's look around for the power source." Garrus said headed in the opposite direction. She pushed herself away from the door backing away a few steps and turned to follow.

"Alright Garrus, fall behind and keep your scope sharp. Kaidan stay close and fire at anything that moves that isn't Garrus or me."

"Aye, aye. Ma'am" He said pistol drawn. She stopped and looked at him before they came to the opening path and looked at his pistol.

"Problem ma'am?" She shook her head and unclipped her pistol and handed it to him.

"Use this it's better than," she paused. "Whatever that is."

"It's a Razor X series." He said placing it back on his hip and inspecting the one she gave him.

"Is this…"

"HMWP X series, yea I stopped buy the specter office before we left the citadel." She said equipping her smg and checkering her Amp.

"Thanks" He said. And they moved forward as a geth emerged from the corner Kaidan fire a shot right at its head light and it dropped to the ground.

"Damn" He whispered in appreciation looking over the pistol in his hand. Shepard smiled

"Told you. Speaking of which Garrus did you equip the Sniper Rifle I got you?"

"Oh ho ho ho yea." He said sounding like a giddy kid. "It's like a dream come true Shepard, thanks."

"Yea, yea, stay focused." She said playfully.

Kaidan moved up around the second corner as Shepard called.

"ROCKET TROOPER!" And she pulled Kaidan back by his collar and threw up a biotic sphere around them. He quickly recovered and fired a few shots of nailing it twice; once in the head light and the other in what would be a shoulder. Shepard dropped the sphere and hurled a shock wave at the incoming foot soldiers. They flew up in the air the wave of biotic energy passed under them and continued behind them a short distance before dissipating. Garrus took out a few others farther back before they could reach Kaidan's line of site.

"Well damn Garrus, you weren't the only one to get a new toy. I'd like to get a few shots in." Kaidan Teased

"You shot the rocket trooper and the other scout, be happy you got that much." Garrus snorted in retort as they pressed on a head Shepard taking point. She turned at a ramp and was about to proceed down when Kaidan's hand came down on her shoulder and spun her around.

"Armature!" He called and she turned to see it slowly rising up from its crumpled ball on the floor.

"Fuck that" She said and pulled all her dark energy in her then launched it , went off like a blue purple nuke on impact. The Armature sputtered and plopped back to the ground and she fell to one need panting as that had drained her. Garrus gave a low whistle, Kaidan scrambled over to her and help her up.

"Are you ok Commander?"

"Yeah," She panted. "I'm… I'm f- Fine." He released her momentarily only to grab her once again as she started to fall back down.  
"What the hell was that?" Garrus marveled. "Not that I'm complaining, but we still have a lot of ground to cover and you seem spent."  
"I just need a second" She snapped she had already regained her footing and her breathing was evening out. She took two deep breaths, Kaidan released her again and this time she stood fine on her own and cracked her neck. She shook it off

"Let go" She called and they headed off to, hopefully, the right direction.

* * *

Kaidan shook his head trying to get his bearings straight as he pushed himself off the floor. He felt someone placed a hand on his shoulder and she quickly looked up and saw Anderson. He waved motioning he was fine as he got his feet looking over the pieces of Sovereign that lay about. He looked behind him and saw Garrus scurrying to his feet as well.

"Where's Shepard?" Anderson asked. Kaidan's eyes darted around him looking for her. He thought a cinderblock was gonna fall out of his ass when the realization hit him that she was probably under the rubble. The three men looked over at the pile of metal. Kaidan struggled trying to hold it together and Garrus gave a depressed sigh. Anderson shook his head and then they all heard the sound of something moving on the other side of the rubble. Kaidan's heart picked up speed anxiously waiting to see what made that noise. He had to remind himself that Anderson was present when he saw her climb over some rabble and trip to the floor her hair had come undone and now thick soft waves fell around her face. She panted and stood up waving to Anderson that she was ok. She strained to stand up but made it to her feet. She let out a groan as pops echoed off the walls as her back cracked. They all winced at the sound accept her, who had a look of relief on her face. She held her left wrist wincing in pain. He had an excuse to rush towards her now. He had to make sure her shoulder wasn't dislocated, which it was.

"It's dislocated." He said in left ear.

"Wh-What?" She panted and he looked in her ear. Her hearing aid was in but the light wasn't on it must of broke when in the chaos. He leaned over to her right.

"It's dislocated." He repeated.

"No shit?" She looked over her right shoulder with surprise on her face. "Well this is gonna hurt." She said and

She gingerly rotated her left arm up and away from her and another loud pop sounded.

"uuughh." He groaned and a he felt himself wincing for her. He inspected it again and her shoulder was back in place. She gave one last long exhaled and patted herself down again then quickly remembering the conversation in the mako before their drop she asked.

"Ok which one of you comedians took my favorite lighter and cigarettes?" _Merde! _He had totally forgotten about that. He and Garrus had teamed up and agreed to 'help' her quit. He had the lighter and Garrus her last cigarette. _This is her favorite lighter? _He thought pulling it out from a pocket in his chest plate. _It would be her favorite lighter_. It was a long slender 1950's style lighter with a sexy pirate girl looking over her right bare shoulder, with a scripted banner wrapping around her saying '_A pirate's life for me'_ on the front.

Garrus sighed in defeat and pulled her last cigarette out from one of his pouches on his armor and held it up. Walking over to them he held it up in his hand showing her he had it, and then tossed it to her. Kaidan reluctantly slapped the lighter into her left palm, which caused her to give a low grunt at the force he used as he walked to the front of her. She rotated her shoulder again then placed the cigarette in between her lips and lit it. She took a nice long triumphant drag fallowed by a sharp in hale. She smiled as she exhaled.

"She deserves it." Garrus said to Kaidan who had clicked it tongue between his molars. Kaidan rolled his eyes

"Yea, yea." He said disgruntled

"Hey it's been two days since I had one give me a break." She grumbled

"Two days that long?" He sarcastically remarked.

"Been a pack a day smoker since I was seventeen, Lieutenant that was a mile stone for me." She said through her exhale. He waved the non-existent smoke from his face. She had exhaled away from him and she lifted and eyebrow.

"I can't believe you let the council die" Kaidan made his displeasure know.

"And if I hadn't the reapers would be here and we'd all be screwed." She said with agitation.

"I have to agree with her on this one Kaidan." Garrus chimed in.

"Commander" Anderson called as he walked toward them. "Udina and I need a word with you. Alone" He said and Garrus and Kaidan retread to help inspect that damage.


	9. The Exodus Rite

**A/N: **There will be a scene that is very important to my Shepard which i will explain in detail in upcoming chapters so don't think you missed anything i wrote it this way on purpose. Also the same scene it quite different from the ME World so please don't knock it if you feel its not immerse-of enough for you. It was meant to be a glimpse into what her child hood home land was like. As well a childhood friend from her tribe will make and appearance and he is based off of the AC3 character Connor but is not is **_NOT_** meant to _**BE**_ him.

One last thing they have a few words that are in their native language so i will place them near the bottom for translation.. and imagine Aela parkoring around the forest in true ac3 style for a visual reference. Enjoy

* * *

They were finally getting a week and a half of shore leave. Aela cracked her knuckles as she waited for a shuttle at the docking bay. Normandy was dry docked at an alliance base near Vegas.

"Going to see your family?" She asked Kaidan rubbing the inside of her right eye.

"I was but then I remembered I have land on the sunshine coast and I thought, _what the hell_." He sat down next to her. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"You're going to California…..With me….?" She looked him in the eye and more stated then asked really. He nodded his head as a wry half smirk dance on his lips. She closed he eyes and furrowed her brows shaking her head she asked.  
"Have you ever been to California?"

"Ugh nope, can't say I have." And _Ah _look came across her face as she nodded her head with her mouth open.

"Ugh well there isn't much left of it so I wouldn't boast about that property yet big boy." She said with a playful pat on his shoulder. He gave a confused look at her, resting forward elbows on knees.

"Yea so scientist thought California would break off and become an Island right? Wrong it busted in half right down the length, most of it is at the bottom of the ocean now. My people's land is a bit of what's left in the southern coast. It's only a few acres' nothing like it used to be. Where is this property?" She asked sighing hoping to god he hadn't gotten screwed; people were still trying to sell property that was under the sea. He sat back and fumbled around in his jean pockets, she checked him out while he was occupied. He wore a blue button down shirt with the sleeve's down, and dark blue-black jeans. She had never seen him in civilians and was pleased with what she saw. He produced a scrap of paper with and address on it. She looked at the city and was shocked. _San Climente_ .

"This…" She stared in disbelief.  
"What?" He asked nervously. "Did I get boned?" he sighed.

"No, no." She shook her head. "This is like, maybe a two hour drive from my people's land." She looked up at him.

"Really? Wow." He said taking the paper back.

"Actually it's a two hour drive if you're stuck in heavy traffic." She sat back confused. A voice came over the System announcing shuttles out to California were ready for boarding. She grabbed her bag and stood. Kaidan couldn't help it his eyes were drawn to her backside. Her light blue jeans looked tasked to capacity, he was fairly sure the materiel would bust open if she moved wrong but they didn't appear to be uncomfortably tight on her. In fact her legs looked damn good in them. Her thick white tank hung loosely around her in fact it was designed to be slightly oversized the arm holes were unreasonably large opening down to her waist. He caught a glimpse of the scars on her rib cage under her black lace bra, from where she was abused. He reached up to touch them and she turned to him, with an inquisitive look on her face. He remembered himself, and reached for his bag and fallowed her to load onto the shuttle.

* * *

"Wow" Kaidan said breathlessly as they walked out of the shuttle port into the cool winter day. The temperature was perfect at 68 degrees with a soft breeze.

"January in California" she sighed happily. _It's so good to be home. _She thought.

"There's like five feet of snow back home right now." He marveled.

"Yea well this_ is_ the sunshine coast." She said with lightness in her voice as she walked toward the cab terminal.

"You know I had only planned to be here two days tops then head back to Nevada to hit up Vegas."

"Pshh you can head back to Vegas they may have to give me a major pay raise to make me leave this place." She laughed, knowing he was half serious. She put in a request for transit at the terminal and they waited patiently for the cab to arrive.

"Look I have something I need to take care of here. I was able to contact someone from a neighboring tribe to help me do something, so I'm sorry but you're gonna be alone for a few hours tonight."

"Well, ok." He couldn't complain he had just sprung it on her that he was coming with her a few hours ago.

"I would cancel if it wasn't important." She said, she sounded sorry.

"Don't worry about it," He said reassuringly "I basically invited myself so I can't expect you to have not had plans."

"Thank you" She said and gave him a soft kiss which he pulled away from initially until he remembered not one damn person knew them here or could report them to which he kissed back. He gave her a big smile and wrapped his arms around her waist. _Finally we don't have to be walking on eggshells around the crew. _He thought

* * *

They stood looking at the building in front of them, there was just no way this was the right place. It was big.

Kaidan checked the address again it was a match.

"My dad must really love me." He stated staring at the two story house in front of them.

"What?" She asked absent mindedly.

"My dad gave me this place, title and all, when I enlisted." They stood there for a good five minutes gawking before he finally shook his head and headed up the door and entered the code. The door swung open and they stood at the entry way looking in. They would have stayed there staring for longer had her omni-tool not pinged Waking them from their trance. She looked at the message.

"Shit, I'm late." She exclaimed and grabbed her bag and turned to call a cab.

"Wait, where are you going?" He called turning and grabbing her wrist.

"I have to check into my hotel and change and I'm running late." She said hurriedly

"Hotel? Maybe I wasn't clear; I wanted you to stay here with me." She smiled at him.

"What, you want me to play house with you?" She teased.

"Maybe." He gave her a playful smile and pulled her too him giving her a passionate kiss that sparked desire in her. _You have somewhere to be! Don't keep him waiting!" _She mentally yelled at herself as she started losing herself in his arms. It took all her strength to tear herself away from him.  
"Ok I have to go." She sighed.

"Didn't you say you had to change?" He breathed pulling her back in wrapping his arms around her. His left hand was tangled in her hair and his right hand was clinging to the small of her back holding her too him. He lost his balance momentarily and fell they back against the door pulling her hard against his chest. She felt his arousal on her hip. _Oh Great Spirit if I stay I'm gonna regret not doing this but if I go I'm going to regret not doing him._ She argued inside herself. Finally determined to go, she pulled away once again.

"I really ,REALY have to go." She panted pulling some cloths out of her bag then tossing it in the front door and made her way back towards the road. He mumbled something incoherently but she assumed he was agreeing with her.

"I thought you had to change?" He said winded leaning his head back up against the door."

"I'll change later, I'm late" She shouted over her shoulder, turning left at the walkway and busted into a full sprit.

He groaned to himself, grabbed his bag and kicked the door shut behind him.

* * *

Aela dropped out of the tree onto the land she was raised on. The Sun was setting the orange and purple hues draped over the bones of what used to be the homes of her people. Not one damn thing was different from the last time she had been there. _Good, it's untouched for now_. She found a structure that hadn't been totally burnt to nothing and crawled in to change. She emerged a few minutes later and was startled by the silhouette of a tall figure.

"You're late" A baritone voice said blankly.

"Sorry I had to run here." She said calming herself, after recognizing the voice, the silhouette moved to the light and a tall Native man stood in front of her. She couldn't see his eyes; they were hidden under the wolf headdress he wore. She could see the red war paint strip down his eyes and chin into points. His Shirtless body showed the other markings that weren't naturally apart of him on his ribs that looked of barbwire and the red bands on his biceps. He had three scars on his right pectoral were he had been shot in the raid all those years ago.

"I brought everything needed" She said heading towards the shoreline.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked worry deep in voice. He grabbed her arm just above her elbow when she ignored him and she threw him off.

"Don't touch me." She growled. Her body went stiff as a statute. She took a few breaths to recompose herself

"Yes I'm Sure Connor, …..it the only way."  
"It isn't the only way." He protested. "The Exodus Rite isn't to be taken lightly." He reminded and followed her closely as she continued to the shoreline. "YOU CAN NEVER COME BACK HERE!" He tried in vain to convince her to change her mind. She stopped in her tracks.

"I know." she said quietly, her back to him. "It is the only way for me."

"No it's not. You can stay here." He said coming up behind her. "With me" He said softly, longing in his voice.

"Ughh Connor." She sighed with agitation "This isn't my home anymore."

"Why have I never been good enough for you Ahote?!" He called her by her tribe name, frustration building in him

"Askiwheteau" She sighed his tribe name in return. "I just don't love you like that." She looked at him over her left shoulder. She saw his heart drop in his facial expression. "Can we just get on with this please?"

"Are you doing this for the kachada you came with?" He questioned her, his voice low but accusing. She spun around to face him

"How do you know I came with anyone?" She questioned with suspicion in her voice.

"Because I was there," He started angrily almost shouting. He hung his head, his tone changed to sadness. "I was there to pick you up, but …" anger washed over him again and he looked up through the hood at her. "_He _was with you." He growled. She sighed exasperated, and returned towards the sunset.

"Let's just get this over with Connor." She said setting up for the ritual. His anger bubbled up even more.

"No." His voice was an angry whisper "It is for him isn't it?!" He yelled. "You don't have to change for me"  
"I Want to change!" she screamed turning to him. "What don't you understand? I don't want this anymore! I don't want to be the last one anymore! I don't want to be tied down to rituals and traditions anymore." She sighed the last part with pain in her voice and turned back to what she was doing. She gave another loud sigh. "Askiwheteu you will always be my páa'as but nothing more" He hung his head and balled his hands into fists.

"No I will not help you abandon who you are." He turned coldly walking away.

"Askiwheteu!" She turned around and chased him. He stopped when he heard he light foot steps behind him. "I need to do this." His knuckles where white and he turned on her with rage in his eyes.

"As long as you are kíicha posúun kíiyam I have a right to challenge him!" He screamed with all his rage. She stared at him in disbelief. _He wants to challenge Kaidan._ Anger burned in her eyes.

"If you ever hope to count me among your friends you will leave him out of this." She said through her teeth, her words a promise more than a threat. They stared each other down; bodies ridged neither one willing to give. Ultimately she won. His features softened as he broke his gaze looking to the right and at the ground. He made his way past her towards the shoreline, angry and cold.

"Fine, Aela, let's get this over with." He said her legal name as an insult

* * *

**A/N: **The Exodus Rite is for story purpose only I'm not claiming it to be and actual native american ritual.

kíicha posúun- Inside of the (House)

kíiyam-Family

Askiwheteu- He keeps Watch

Ahote- Restless one

páa'as- older brother

kachada -White man

Again if you don't like this chapter sorry but it will matter in later chapters. Also Aela and Connor are not blood siblings the tribe was just viewed as one large family.


	10. Sweet Dreams

**A/N**: Here is some smut enjoy.

* * *

Kaidan lounged on the deck enjoying the crisp air drinking a beer. The Sun had set hours ago and he was wondering where Aela was. _She didn't say when she was coming back, Or even if she was coming back. _He checked the time. 22:45. _Damn it._ He was getting worried. _Shouldn't she be back by now? _He heard the thunder rumbling off in the distance. He retreated back into the house and locked the door behind him. He pulled up his omni-tool prepared to send Aela a message just as the doorbell chimed. He almost ate shit on the hard wood floor because he was in such a hurry. He flung open the door and Aela stood there. She smiled up at him in surprise. She had changed back into her regular cloths. He grabbed her in a tight hug.

"I was getting worried." He said softly into her ear. She hugged him back, he smelled good. Like he fresh rain and gasoline. He pulled away to let her in the house.

"Sorry I was late getting there so I was late getting back." She said looking over the house again. He shut the door, and locked it. Aela turned and looked at him.

"So now I'm all yours, what did you have in mind?" _Yea right, like I'm going to tell her that. _He scratched his neck and looked around the living room they stood in.

"Well we could watch a movie, or" He stretched and yawned "Go to bed." He said half playfully half hoping she would agree so he could pass out without feeling bad.

"Or…" She said sauntering over to him and putting her arms around him. "We can do something really crazy and watch a movie in bed." She said as if it had been the ground breaking discovery. He laughed hugging her back and kissing her forehead. _She smells like the ocean._

"That sounds perfect." He's voice rumbled low in her ear. He pulled back to look at her. A curious look came across his face she had a strange smug of purple on her face under her left eye.

"What's on your face?" She lifted her right hand and whipped at her face till she removed it. She gave a sheepish smile and said.

"Uggghhh ritual paint, I had to do one last thing for my tribe."

"Oh? What?"

"Nothing don't worry about it, but I need a shower and a soft bed." _If I tell him what I did, I will never hear the end of it. _  
"Well my darling, I happen to know where both of those are." He said coyly and scooped her up in his arms. He tossed her lightly in the air a little trying to size up her weight.

"What do you weight like a buck twenty," He tossed her lightly again. "Buck twenty-five?" He said with a smirk.

"MY back!" she cried as the tossing had jeered her spine.

"Oh sorry" concern on his face

"And yea, 125." She said . "Why am I too heavy for you?" She teased. He snorted

"PUH_lease, my gear weighs more than you do." He joked and carried her up to the master bed room.

* * *

The shower felt nice and refreshing after all that running, jumping, climbing, animal sacrifice, burning her tribal cloths and washing herself in the ocean. _Geez we really do weird things for rituals._ She thought to herself switching off the hair dryer and walking out of the bathroom in her pjs. Kaidan was racked out in the bed with the TV on, lying on top of the covers, hands on his bare chest and stomach, in grey basketball shorts. She smiled walking over to the bed and snapped a picture with her omni-tool. He just looked so cute and peaceful. He twitched momentarily at the flash and then turned his head away from her. She took her _new_ hearing aid out and placed it on the night stand than crawled in bed getting under the covers on her side, and lay on her left side facing him. _Oh Great Spirit this bed is like a cloud. _The bed was soft but not too soft, the sheets and blanket felt like satin and the pillows were supportive yet fluffy. _He must have passed out at soon as he lay down. _She flipped through channels on the TV unable to sleep despite her exhaustion. _I will not sleep till I find a cure for insomnia. _She thought and then realized the irony of that statement. She finally settled on a movie channel that only played classics. She watched not fully invested in the story or even knew what was even happening. Hell she was hardly even paying attention. Kaidan's head lulled back in her direction and he made some _mmmms_ in his sleep. She smiled hopping his dreams were good until she heard him mutter in his sleep

"_Aela." _She looked over at him. He was out cold. She couldn't help but smile wider _apparently his dreams were very good. _She thought upon glancing down his body and seeing a familiar shape in his shorts. She lifted an eyebrow watching him when another low moan of her name came from his mouth. His breathing had picked up speed and his shorts appeared to be getting tighter in the left leg. _He is so having a sex dream about me._ She gloated internally. She shot out of the covers and scooted over to him and planted a soft kiss on his lower abdomen right below his belly button. Another _mmm _purred softly in his throat. She smiled against his skin at the sound. She slid her hand airily down his shorts and boxer-briefs and wrapped her hand around his shaft. He gave and approving moan. She freed him from his boxer-briefs and softly slid the tip of her tongue from just beneath his tip to the top of his head. Yet another approving moan escaped his throat. She licked her lips and then wrapped them around him and gently sliding down his length pushing her tongue forward against him, massaging him with her tongue. She rolled her tongue in rhythmic waves from back to front, as she sucked gently on him. Her right hand slid against him in the same motion as her mouth. If her mouth went up her hand followed. His left hand shot into her hair and she knew he was awake.

"Aela?" he moaned in confusion. More moan then a question. "What are y-"he started to question but let out a sigh of pleasure instead. She picked up speed at his reaction. He pushed his head back into the pillow, His breathing growing more ragged by the second until he was full on panting. She had set and unrelenting pace of pumping, sucking, and massaging with her tongue.

"Aela if you don't staahhhh-" he attempted to warn but ended in a long moan instead. He tried again.

"If you don't stah- Stahp." His right hand clenched into the blanket and sheets tightly. The rapturous energy built in him quickly. "I'm gonna- I am gonna, I'm -"he kept sputtering unable to get the words out till it was too late.

"I'm cumming." He gasped as he spilt himself into her mouth. After a few moments his left hand released her as her mouth released him not missing a drop and smiled up at him.

"Feel better?" She said coyly and returned him to his shorts. He adjusted himself and stared at her in confusion. She crawled back under the covers and snuggled into the bed, lying on her left side to face him again.

"What brought that on?" he asked hazily still not 100% awake.

"You started it." She said softly. The fingers of his left hand rubbed at his eyes trying to sort out what just happened.

"How did I start it I was asleep?" She smiled wide pleased with herself when she said.

"Oh well it sounded like you were having an interesting dream-"she purred. His eyes snapped open remembering the sexy dream he was having about her. He blushed with embarrassment. He looked over at her, she was beaming with pride.

"Yea you seemed to be calling for me so I thought I'd assist you."

"Oh dear God, what did I say in my sleep?" he bemoaned. She laughed.

"Nothing much," She said scooting closer to him. He was hoping he was in the clear. He wasn't. "You just moaned my name." She whispered in his ear.

"Ughw gawd." He groaned and sat up. He made his way to the door and she asked.

"Where are you going?"

"To get a drink of water, do you need anything?" she shook her head no and yawed. He returned a few minutes later and she was almost asleep until the loud crash of a thunder clap sounded as if right above them. Her eyes snapped wide open. He walked his way across the room to his side of the bed and got in under the covers.

"That was loud huh?" he asked adjusting the pillow behind him.

"Yea" she grumbled. "Not sleeping after that." She said dully. The thunder rang in again not as loud but still as if almost directly overhead. She closed her eyes and exhaled in frustration. The sound of rain started falling harshly outside and she seemed to relax at that sound. He laid back and scooted closer to her taking her in his arms.

"I love the sound of rain fall" she said sleepily into his chest.

"Good maybe you'll actually get some sleep tonight." He said into the top of her head.

"Don't jinx me" She pleaded. She smiled as a low rumble emitted from his chest.

"Sorry" He apologized. His skin was soft and his arms were strong. The pain in her back started to throb but it wasn't enough to keep her awake. The last thing she remembered hearing beside the harsh patter of rain fall on the roof was his soft almost snores.


	11. Birthday Wish

**A/N: **Not how I originally intended this chapter to go but I like this one better. Smut to entail.

Also when you see * i was listening to a song while writing that part and it just felt so perfect for it the song is Everybody Talks by Neon Trees so feel free to give a listen for maximum awesome lol hope you enjoy. And hopefully you will find some humor in the conversations. I also wanted to portray a lighter silly side of Aela.

* * *

They had three days left of shore leave and Kaidan wasn't too happy about it. His week 'playing house' with her, as she called it, had been one of the best weeks of his life. They had to stay in the first day because of a rain storm, which wasn't actually that big of a bummer for them since they both needed a nice down day to just do nothing but watch movies and eat crap. But after that day, it was almost always sunny and decent weather. They spent a day at the beach, walked around a fair that was in town, and rode some crappy rides, she had taught him some of her native language, and showed him her vast knowledge of plants, berries, and wild life, which she had learned from her people. They had a few intimate nights he wouldn't soon forget as well. All in all it was a damn good shore leave but he just wasn't ready for it to be over. To have to go back to pretending he didn't love her because of some damn regs. He had seriously considered transferring but he just couldn't do it. The idea of being away from her for even a day pissed him off.

He stood on the deck leaning over the railing watching her chase the rabbits in the backyard. She said she was going to cook him an authentic Native American meal and needed to catch a rabbit. Even now, watching her he wasn't sure if she was kidding or serious, since she had boasted about what a good hunter she had been '_even for a girl' _she said mimicking the way the elders had said it to her, he assumed. He was pretty sure she was doing it just for fun now. His omni-tool vibrated and he opened the incoming call for Garrus.

"Hey Garrus what's up?" He answered heading back inside to the kitchen. "How's Palaven?"

"It's good, nice to be home again even for a little while, right?"

"Yea I hear ya." Kaidan couldn't agree more, he could get use to this.  
"Hey you're with Shepard right?" Garrus asked

"What? No! Why would you think that?" He said nervously trying to keep his cool.

"Probably because I heard you change your shuttle ticket at the last minute and because I see her in the background, what the hell is she doing assaulting the grass?" Garrus said straining to see what she was doing in the background. Kaidan turned so his back to the kitchen so he wasn't able to see her anymore.

"Hhhhhaa," he exhaled being caught but he knew Garrus wouldn't say anything or at least he hoped he wouldn't. "Alight fine I am, and no she is chasing rabbits."

"What's a rabbit?" A bewildered look crossed his face. Kaidan sighed and attempted to explain.

"It's an animal with long ears and a furry tail, they hop and don't get more than two feet long."  
"Why is she chasing them?"  
"Because she wants to eat it, was there a reason you called me and not her?" He said with agitation

"Oh right. What did you get her for her birthday?"  
"Umm what?" Kaidan was lost.

"Her birthday, you know the day she was born. A day you should never forget because it's the reason she's in your life now." Garrus teased

"When is it?" Panic crossed his face. Garrus had to stifle his joy. He loved torturing Kaidan, all in good fun of course.

"You mean you don't know? It's the eleventh. Her birthday is the eleventh."  
"Shit that's today!" Kaidan groaned and dragged his right hand down his face.

"And you didn't know _or _get her anything, oh man you're so screwed." Garrus teased unable to hold his smile back any longer.  
"Thanks a lot Garrus I thought you were my friend why didn't you tell me" Kaidan's frustration starting to cause a migraine. He rubbed his temples  
"Ugh, I'm sorry, I assumed since you know what her tonsil's taste like you would know."

"Do you even know what tonsil's are?" Kaidan asked in exasperation

"No, but that's was what joker said and I assumed it meant something pertaining to the personal parts on you humans" Garrus said.

"No tonsils are….UGH, never mind I don't time to explain, I have to go."

"Have fun, see you soon." Garrus said poking fun at him. _Don't remind me_. Kaidan thought as he switched his omni-tool off. He didn't hate Garrus in fact they had become pretty close friends, he just didn't want to think about leave being over so soon. Or the fact that he had not known it was her birthday.

He put his face in his hand. _I am so screwed. _He took a reassuring breath and headed back out to her.

"Alright time to get serious" he heard her say as he stepped onto the deck and realized that whole time she_ was_ just chasing them for fun. He saw her sink low to the ground almost getting lost in the tall grass she moved so slowly and with expert precision you could have sworn you were watching a wild animal hunt its prey. He lost her for a few minutes she was so quiet and the grass went unmoving. He strained to see her but still didn't see anything in the grass.

"Aela?" he called softly to make sure she was there. There was a quick rustle of grass and a small squeak was heard, then silence. She stood up straight and came over to him. She smiled and held up the rabbit still squirming in her left hand.

"Oh dear god I thought you were kidding." He said hanging his head. He walked over to her and took the rabbit from her hand, then let it go. He had never seen a rabbit hall ass that fast before in his life.

"Why did you do that?" she protested.

"Because I can't watch you kill a rabbit, I just can't, I'm sure you do a damn good job at it but I just can't" He said taking her into his arms, her frustration washed away from her face. He gave her a long deep kiss, and placed his forehead to hers. He said staring into her eyes.

"Happy birthday, sorry I didn't get you anything. Of course I dropped the ball on that one since I didn't remember." She pulled her head back and gave him suspicious look.

"You don't remember because I didn't tell you." She said slowly. _Ooops. Maybe she didn't want me to know._

"Ugh yea, Garrus just told me." He said nervously. Her brows knitted in confusion

"How did he know?"

"Ughhh I .. don't know. I assumed you told him since you two are close." She shook her head _no_.

"Did you not want me to know?" He asked shyly. Her expression softened.

"It's not that. It's just, in the tribe we don't celebrate birthdays. It's seen as selfish and distracting from the whole. Everyone else's needs_ must_ come before yours. If you have something someone else needs it's expected of you to give it to them." Now that he thought about it he had never once seen her act in selfishness. She put on a brave face masking her pain to serve the Alliance, and though her methods were crude if not downright evil sometimes, it was always for the good of others. She may have bitched at first, but she always helped. She reluctantly helps the girl in Chora's den, Jenna. She helped the consort, and Samesh Bhatia get his wife's body back. Of course she threatened the poor guy's life till he agreed to hand it over. All things she could have just not bothered with and no one would have thought differently about her for it.

"So you have _never_ celebrated you're birthday?" He asked She shook her head slowly form side to side.

"Well we need to change that, why don't you do get all dress up , hair, make up the whole nine yards, and will hit the town." She gave him a look that told him she wasn't too sure about this.

"I don't own a dress." She admitted.

"Why does that not surprise me? Why don't you go shopping then and then we'll go out later." She gave a dismayed tsk then sighed

"I might know someone who can help actually." She gave smiled and headed inside pulling up her omni-tool and making a call to Ciara.

* * *

She sat on the bed holding her head in frustration starting to get a headache, staring at Ciara holding up dresses giddy with excitement. Ciara had been waiting for this day for years and literally dropped everything to come over with bags of dresses she had bought for Aela over the years. She was always trying to girly Aela up. Aela hadn't known Ciara was stationed on earth, she had only meant to call for advice, but then Ciara insisted she come to her to help and Aela need all the help she could get.

Aela shook her head at yet another disaster Ciara held up. It was red and pooffy and just NO.

"Alright Ella, you got to level with me here, you can't hate _everything _I show you." Ciara sighed in frustration.

"I will stop hating everything when I see something I actually like." Aela groaned her agitation.

"Well what are you looking for?"

"I don't know I don't wear dresses!"  
Well if you're willing to wear a dress for tall, dark and handsome down stairs he must be something." She looked Aela over as color warmed her cheeks. "So let's give him something he won't be able to resist." Ciara purred and Aela knew she was up to no good. Ciara dug through a few bags then pulled out a sexy little black number that even Aela agreed was a good choice.

"Yea this is the one." Ciara said, seeing Aela's face actually brighten up.

* * *

Kaidan had been reluctant at first to let Lieutenant Commander Ciara Bronze come over for obvious reasons, but Aela assured him she wouldn't say anything. He had recognized her the moment he opened the door to let her in, The brown haired green eyed girl from the bar where he first saw Aela. That night seemed like so long ago. He had to shake off the feeling he got when he answered the door, she had looked him up and down like he was a tall class of water in the middle of a desert.

Ciara made him nervous, she reminded him of a Chihuahua small, skinny, shaky, and yappy. _Nothing like Aela_. _Well_ _Opposites do attract. _He thought sitting at the bar in the kitchen. He checked the time on his Omni-tool. _Shit, they have almost been at this a whole hour_. _What did I do?_" he groaned to himself and poured another glass of whisky. He took a long drink, then sat back and rolled the sleeve of his black dress shirt up over his forearms neatly. He ran his hands through his hair trying to be patient. _Hell, she admitted she does own a dress she's probably having a panic attack at all the crap LC brought. _He smirked at the thought. He heard soft foot falls coming down the stairs and turned to see Ciara coming down bags in hand. She gave him a look and nodded her head like _you're welcome, _and winked then looked up to the top of the stair.

Kaidan got up from the bar and walked to the living room and turned his head to look up the stairs. He was surprised when he didn't hear the sound of his jaw hit on the floor he could have sworn it fell off. She was wearing a strapless dressed that hugged all her curves, and came just above her knees showing of her legs. The 'top' of it lined her chest and dipped slightly giving ample view to her cleavage. He barely heard Ciara close the door behind her as she left, as Aela stepped off the bottom step and stood in front of him. The heels she wore brought her eyes almost to his eye level. She looked at the floor blushing from his lustful stare at her.

"I look like a fool, don't I?" She said starting to feel embarrassed when he said nothing.

"N-,' He started to say but his voice was hoarse and his mouth dry. He cleared his throat and tried again. "No you look…." He trailed off devouring her with his eyes. She looked up at him and knew that look well. OH he wanted her so bad. She looked down at his pants, _SOOO bad._ *She sauntered over to him putting a little more sway in her hips, as her confidence grew. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat again.  
"Do you wann- wanna go?" he choked out. She raised her left hand to his chest and ran her finger tips gently over his collar bone. She bit her lower lip and said seductively.

"Are you asking me what I want to do?" He nodded his head rapidly like a little kid begging for candy.

"Hmmm. What . Do. I. Want. To. Do." She said each word slowly, moving her body close enough to touch his. He couldn't contain himself any longer; he grabbed her in his arms and smashed his lips against hers. Their teeth clicked and tongues wrestling for supremacy. Her fingers unbuttoning his shirt to feel the bare skin of his lean chest and stomach on her, His embrace holding her too him was so tight she thought their bodies might fuse as one, and hoped they would. She felt how much he wanted her on her right thigh, and that sparked her own desire. She started to fumble with his belt and he took a few steps back pulling her with him till he hit the couch, then spun her around and perched her on the back of it, pulling her legs up onto his hips. He violently pulled at the bottom of her dress till it slid up over her hips, around the same time she had freed him from his pants. His hands were up around her hips searching for the rim of her lace panties. He found them and quickly discarded them to the floor. He quickly found how much she reciprocated his feelings of need for her, and slid home in one fluid movement. Her mouth released his as she threw her head back and gasped as he filled her. His lips searched down the skin of her neck as if to give him an answer to a lifelong question, his teeth scrapped gently along as he traveled back up her neck and returned to her lips, as his hips set a demanding pace. She bucked her hips into his and slipped from the couch but he caught her and lifted her up then spun them around and pushed her up against the wall to give him leverage. His hands planted firmly on her backside supporting her, as her pants and moans were wild and full of ecstasy, his forehead was up against the wall, mouth by hear ear as his own grunts and moans of joy made their way into her ear. He could feel her clenching around him causing him to speed up and was sent over the edge as his name left her lips like a prayer along with a long vid worthy moan as her release met his.* They stayed this way a few moments then he planted a gentle kiss to her neck as their breathing returned to normal and he helped her find her footing back to the floor. She replaced her lace panties around her hips and slid her dress back down. She gave him a big beaming smile letting him know she approved of the spontaneous session. She walked over to the down stairs bathroom to fix her hair and he returned himself to his pants and was buckling them when he felt himself become aroused again at the site of her in that dress. _Damn that dress_. He moaned internally. She was leaning against the skin looking in the mirror, and he saw the way her dress hugged over her body form a new angle.

"Ok, did LC leave any other dresses because you need to change if we are ever going to leave this house." He half pleaded. She looked at him confused till she saw the reason in his lap. _Damn I must look good if he is already to go again._ She gloated.

"Or we could just stay in." she said mischievously. She saw the wheels in his mind start turning through his eyes at the proposition, then shook his head trying to clear his thought.

"No, I promised I'd take you out." A jealous looked passed over his eyes as he took her in in that dress again. _Guys are literally gonna snap their necks looking at her_. He thought. Even his inner thought sounded jealous.

"It is _my_ birthday." She purred. A devilish look crossed her face as she looked up at him and said. "Well if you insist." Her right hand bent behind her back and he heard the zipper as it rolled down. She returned her right hand to the front and the thumbs of both hands tucked into the sides of the dress and she slid it down her body then stepped out of it. Leaving her in a lace strapless bra and matching panties. He shot an eyebrow up and decided he'd rather stay in if that's what she wanted. He walked over to her and lifted her up over his shoulder.

"What my baby wants, my baby gets" He said giving her a playful smack on her ass. She pushed her hands against his lower back to bring her head up.

"I would protest but I have an excellent view of your ass so I won't complain." She said she he made his way up the stairs with her.

* * *

three hours later…

Kaidan lay thoroughly exhausted from all their fun, covered in sweat staring at the ceiling. _Oh my god I think I'm having a heart attack. _Aela purred like a kitten well satisfied next to him. He lifted his head to look at her over his left arm. She lay on her side facing him with a smile on her face, eyes closed. _Damn, I am good. _ He couldn't help but boast to himself. He took a few deep breaths steadying his heart beat back to normal. He knew he had to get up because he didn't want to die of dehydration but the idea of moving was unpleasant. _Alright on 3_, he mentally coached. _1….2…3. _He sat up with a groan of pain. He breathed and coached himself to stand and walked over to the drawers and procured a pair of underwear and black shorts. He slipped them on and headed down stairs to find some water.  
"Where are you going?" she asked breathlessly. He stopped at the door way and almost lost his footing, he reach out and supported himself on the door frame.

"I need water, why?" Panic swept across him and he begged. "Oh god, don't say you want more, he hurts babe."

She made a soundless laugh and shook her head.

"No will you bring me some water, I can't move." She sighed contently

"Yea sure." He nodded mentally high five-ing himself. He made his way down stairs on weak legs, opened the fridge and shivered as the cold air nipped at his damp skin. He grabbed the liter bottle of water in the door, took a sip that then turned into him chugging it. _ Sweet nectar of the gods_, He thought as the chilled liquid passed through him leaving a cool feeling inside him down to his stomach. The bottle was empty but he was still thirsty he grabbed another one and proceeded to chug it but only got a quarter of the way down before he felt satisfied. He grabbed another bottle and headed back up. She hadn't moved. He walked over to her side of the bed and placed the water on her night stand. She was out.

"Hey" he tapped her softly. A soft _hmmmm _was all she was able to produce. "Water's on the night stand for you."

_"Mmhhmm"_ she acknowledged, and was out again. He looked in her ear and saw her hearing aid was still in. He took his pinky and tried to scoop it to gently without waking her, much to his success. He looked past the little device on his finger and saw the large scar on her left shoulder blade that he had mistaken for a tattoo the first time he saw it in the bar, and swooped down to plant a soft kiss on it. Upon standing up completely he looked around the room for his pocket knife and spotted it on the dresser. He opened it up and used the tip to press the small button on the side of the device to turn it off, and then place it on the night stand next to her. He turned the light off then climbed into bed next to her and placed the blanket over them. He turned the TV on and flipped through the channels and landed on the results from a Biotiball game from earlier. She sighed and whispered

"Nayeli Kaidan." In her sleep. He closed his eyes trying to remember what she taught him, but the harder he searched the more he realized she had never said that one before.

* * *

**Nayeli**- I love you


	12. Titanium

**A/N: **Ok peeps, or who ever is a fan of this story take out the tissues its tear jerk-er time, that's right...Opening of ME2

Song of the chapter Titanium by Madilyn Bailey cover. I mean my gawd it just gets the feels going.

If you participate with the song start playing when you see *

* * *

They had agreed he would take the elevator up to the Normandy first and she would come later so it didn't appear that they had been together. They had a steamy last kiss before they parted ways. Kaidan stood in the elevator with Wrex, Garrus, Joker and a couple of Ensigns, who were all going on about what they did over shore leave. Wrex had been sniffing the air for something  
"So did you see your family?" Garrus asked Kaidan trying to 'get his goat'. Kaidan looked over at Garrus expressionlessly and restrained the urge to punch the turian in the mandibles.

"No I checked out the California coast line." He said nonchalantly. Joker chimed in with

"Heeyy wasn't the Commander in California?" Kaidan's jaw puffed as he clenched his teeth together.

"Not that I know of, I thought she said something about staying on the Vegas Strip. Didn't she? " His ears were burning now and he was trying his best to keep his cool. Wrex's sniffing made its way towards Kaidan. He took a step closer to give one last inspecting sniff. Kaidan gave the Krogan a confused look. Wrex's voice rumbled as he asked.

"Alenko, why do you smell like sweat and shame?" To which Garrus and Joker lost it with Wrex chuckling in. The other few crew members stared at them and all Kaidan could do was close his eyes and wish for instant death.

* * *

Three weeks later.,,,,

Kaidan and Garrus stood in front of the air lock in their gear on standby for, well, anything. Kaidan fidgeted with a small platinum band that he had around his pinky it was too small to actually fit on the whole way it stopped in front of the second joint.

"So you're really going to ask her?" Garrus said lowly. Kaidan had confided in the turian his plans to ask Aela to marry him. He just didn't know when.

"Yea it's just the timing doesn't ever seem right."  
"So you carry that thing around with you everywhere?" Garrus said sarcastically.

Kaidan rolled his eyes "Yes, Garrus, I do." He said removing it from his pinky and placing it in a pouch inside his chest plate. He barely got his hand out of his chest plate when Joker called

"BRACE FOR EVASIVE MANUVERS!" He and Garrus landed hard on the floor and saw the fire in the cockpit. Without thinking Kaidan jumped to his feet and bolted as fast as he could towards the sleeper pods, as the ship took another hit and he tripped. His Dog tags popped out of his armor but he checked the pouch to make sure the ring was still there, he relaxed a little when he felt it still in its pocket. People where running ever where it was chaos but he found her composed and in action amongst the insanity, as usually.

"Shepard!" He called as she placed her helmet on.

"Distress beacon is ready for launch" She said turning to him.

"Will the alliance get her in time?" he asked as the ship tossed them again, placing his own helmet on.  
"They damn well better." She said with a bite, grabbing a fire suppressant canister and throwing it to him.

"Get everyone to the escape shuttles." She said spraying the fires down

"Joker's still on the cockpit he won't abandon ship, I'm not leaving either."

"I'LL CARRY JOKERS CRIPPLE ASS OUT OF HERE MYSELF! NOW GO." She shouted ripping the canister from is hands.

"Commander.." Kaidan called with loving worry, coming up behind her as she fidgeted with some overhead wires. She turned and placed a hand on his chest plate over his dog tags. The ship jolted once again with another explosion, and he smacked into the wall, his tags snapped into her hand and she only tripped.

"KAIDAN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" She screamed and he ran off toward the escape shuttle. _I'll have to give these back later. _She thought to herself placing them in a pocket near her heart and headed off toward the bridge

* * *

Kaidan felt himself sigh with relief when he saw the evac shuttle from the cockpit was with the rest of them at the pickup site. An Alliance officer was helping Joker climb out as he slowed to a jog searching for Aela with him. Joker's face went pale when he saw Kaidan, which caused him to stop in his tracks when he realized she wasn't with him. His anger burned in him and he made and angry be line for the pilot. His hands gripped the pilot's uniform in hard fists and slammed him up against the shuttle hoping he broke something on the flight lieutenant. His Biotics flared bright as he growled

*"What the fuck did you do?!" Joker whimpered in pain.

"I'm sorry, I- I- I- I- "he kept sputtering. Garrus had to pull Kaidan off Joker and it took all his and Wrex's strength to hold him back from grabbing him again. Kaidan felt light headed. He lost his footing and fell to one knee, Garrus losing his grip momentarily and Kaidan's left hand pressed against the floor._This isn't real. I have to be dreaming, there's just no way. No! This IS a nightmare. Wake up Kaidan, WAKE UP. _His face was expressionless, The Shock still seeping in. Liara Ran over to him and put her arms around him in an attempt to comfort him as tears slowly streamed down his face.

* * *

Kaidan waited anxiously in the holding area as scouting teams went down to the crash site to find anything or anyone that had survived. He found himself praying to Aela's Great Spirit asking; no pleading that she was somehow miraculously alive and ready to give him hell. He rubbed his head with both hands his migraine was off the charts, but he wasn't sure if I was the migraine itself or a mix of a headache from all the crying, and a minor migraine. He let his head drift back against the wall behind him, eyes closed to block out the light. He heard footsteps softly coming his way and stole a quick peek out of his right eye as Garrus approached sheepishly with a strong box in one hand and his other hand rubbing at his neck. The turian wasn't sure what to say so he chose nothing and placed the metal box in his hands. Kaidan sat forward and opening the box peering inside not sure what he would find. His breath hitched and tears started to well up as he reached into the box and found a few pictures from shore leave. A picture she had taken of him asleep the first night, one of them at the beach that a passer bay had taken and then give to them. _Never seen anyone as cute as you two_ she had said sending the photo to Aela's Omni-tool. His favorite picture he had taken of them at the fair, her eyes closed and a smile on her lips as he placed a kiss on her cheek, cotton candy stuck on her finger that she was about to eat, his arm around her holding said cotton candy. His bleary eyes looked past the pictures into the box and saw her music player she always had in her ears, _even the broken one_ he joked to himself thinking how she always had her left headphone in even though her hearing aid was out. His eyes found another object that he hadn't seen before, a small greybox. He replaced the pictures and pulled the box out and inspected it before he realized what it was. He placed the strong box in the chair next to him and walked over the terminal and hacked it so no one could trace it or see what he saw. He Looked around for Garrus and asked to use hit visor for a moment.

"Ugh I don't think it will work for that but, I think this one will." He produced a similar visor that went across both eyes. He eyed the turian suspiciously.

"You knew about this?" He asked his voice hoarse. Garrus looked at the ground.

"Who do you think encrypted it?" He asked barely above a whisper.

"What's the encryption?" He demanded.

"It's keyed to you."

"Me?" He asked in confusion.

"Yes yours and her -"He looked at the ground before continuing, stifling his own tears "You're and her memories. They go together like a puzzle piece." He remembered vividly how she had begged him and bribed him with a bottle of choice turian scotch to help her, and how he had no idea what the reason for it was…until now. Kaidan put the visor on and keyed it into his omni-tool, then set that to the terminal frequency and plugged the greybox in. The images surrounded him _her memories_, _her feelings. _He could feel what she felt in that moment. The first time he kissed her, before the flash back. _I am safe here; _he felt the soft whisper of the words ripple through him as if they were his own. The day at the beach his arms wrapped around her, _I want this forever_. Once again her voice on him like his own filling his heart the way hers had been. She even left him a comparison of how she felt when someone else touched her, his heart wrenched with pain the way hers did at the very feel someone else's skin on hers, and the way she felt when he touched her, like taking a breath after being under water for too long. Kaidan's tear were running down his face again in hot angry streams. But the cherry on top came with the last memory. The Memory _he_ had of her whispering in her sleep _Nayeli Kaidan. _She had left the final puzzle piece for him to find, her understanding of her native language. He ripped the visor off and let out a muffled scream of pain. Garrus placed a compassionate hand on his dear friend's shoulder, which Kaidan pulled away from. He hung his head. He would never again have the chance to tell her _Nayeli pi Aela. *_

* * *

_**Nayeli**__ - I Love you_

_**Pi**__- Also_


	13. Twilight Coast

**A/N: ****_I do not mean to offend anyone or their beliefs, nor am i attempting to push my own thoughts feelings or opinions about the after life on anyone._**

Also this is a relatively short chapter sorry.

* * *

Aela felt warm water rushing up her back then receding quickly. She heard the sound of crashing waves. She opened her eyes slowly; her vision was blurry at first but focused after a few seconds. She saw…..space…..

She took a breath and her lungs filled with air. She raised her head looking down towards her feet and saw a dark ocean. She was lying on the coast, she thought, she wasn't quite sure. She sat up and asked to no one in particular

"Where am I?"

"As far as I can tell commander," A familiar female voice sounded from beside her, she snapped her head to look for the voice. Ashley sat next to her. "We're either in purgatory, or hell." Ash said looking over at her.

"Ash?" Aela looked around in confusion. There were no buildings or trees or anything really. Just and endless dark coast line. The light that there was seemed to be coming from nowhere specifically, it was like eternal twilight, but she couldn't tell If the sun was rising or setting, and though she was in water, she wasn't wet. She wasn't cold, or hot, or in pain or anything. She just was.

"Yea," Ashley said answering her. Aela looked up at the night skyline in awe. It was like sitting on the beach and looking out but instead of seeing the stars through the atmosphere it was like looking out the window of the observation deck. Aela shook her head trying to remember what happened. She remembered floating, struggling, suffocating, than nothing, Till now.

"Where did you say we are?" Aela asked trying to get a grasp on what was happening.

"I truly don't know. But I can for sure say it ain't heaven." Ash sounded upset.

"How did we get here?"-Aela

"We died."-Ashley

"Then how do you know this isn't heaven?" She joked with her dry humor. "Seems peaceful enough."

"Because of that." Ash said pointing ahead and slightly up. Aela saw Kaidan in the night sky, eyes blood shot and cheeks tear stained standing over a terminal in a dimly light waiting area. And then she was there beside him. Standing next to him, his hands on the terminal, head hung, Garrus standing behind him.

"Yea I get pulled to you two a lot." Ash said coming up on the other side of Kaidan and leaning against the wall.

He said something but Aela couldn't understand him at first. It was like she was under water and he was talking to her from just other side of it, the sounds in the waiting area were all muffled but slowly became coherent.

"Kaidan," Garrus gave a long depressed sigh then said. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"But I'm right here, Kaidan look at me!" She said bending her head down to his.  
"He can't hear you Shepard" Ash said in frustration. "Why do you think I said this place is hell? You constantly speak but no one hears you, constantly reach out but feel nothing on the other end of your fingers." Ash closed her eyes and shook her head. "Constantly try to reassure them they're not alone, but." Her voice trailed off.

"No! NO, no, no, no, I don't accept this." Aela said as Kaidan raised his head to the terminal and removed the greybox. _Her _greybox, and retreated to his seat placing the greybox inside of the metal container.

"It's not about accepting it Shep. It just is." They returned to the shoreline in a split second.

"What happened, why are we back here?"

"Time's up." Ash said plainly. "Plain and simple, you were there and now you're not. From what I gathered, this shoreline here is like a home point. You will always return here." Aela looked around and saw other people around some sitting at the shoreline others standing some doing absolutely nothing.

"What about the others."

"Well that's where it gets confusing. Most people come and go like we just did. Others are stuck here permanently. Some are waiting for a next life, some waiting for their old life. Some simply pass through; they stop here before heading somewhere else. Heaven maybe I'm not sure. But the one common thing we all share, we aren't ready to let go." Aela sank to the ground in defeat as the calming waves washed over her ankles.

"I'm dead." She whispered.


	14. Unexpected Guest

**A/N: **OK brace yourselves lots of native language key at the bottom, i know it looks strange but the native words are grammatically correct as best i can tell and they don't translate very well so bare with me. hopefully you enjoy and I'm working hard at the next chapter, may take me a few days though to get it right. and hopefully you enjoy the twist...

if you're wondering what song it was he was listening to on repeat its Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran. I meant to incorporated it in the chapter but i didn't.

* * *

Kaidan sat at the edge of his childhood bed spinning the small circlet in his hands. He had lost her only a week ago and it still felt so surreal. He had been listening to her music player almost every minute it seemed like since then. He had found a playlist on it with his name on it full of lovey 21st century music. One particular song he kept on repeat, for the simple reason it said exactly how he had been feeling.

"So," He heard his dad's voice say softly from the door way. "She was that special, huh?" He was referring to the ring in Kaidan's hand and the weight it carried. He swallowed hard pushing at the knot in his throat.

"Yeah" He whispered.

"What was she like?" his father asked. Kaidan raised his eyes from the ring and he stopped twisting it in his fingers as he thought about her, in depth for the first time. A tear streamed down his face followed by another as he softly replied,

"She was mean, but selfless" He took a steadying breath and turned to look at his dad "She always said it like it was she didn't bother with fluff or sugar coating. She always let you know where you stood. That was something most people feared her for. But I guess the truth hurts," He trailed off dropping his eyes to the ground, and then continued. "She was, strong. Blindingly beautiful but not stuck up about it. She didn't let people get close, or at least, anyone else. She had been abused in her life but she didn't let that stop her from accomplishing what she wanted. She was proud of who she was because she worked hard and had earned everything she had, and she never compromised who she was, for anybody. Well, maybe a few times for me." He let a small grin cross his face as he remembered how she let the rachni queen go as well as the asari who was captive to the thorian. His dad snorted.

"She sounds like a hell of a woman"

"She was." That word hung in his mind. _Was, _past tense, Meaning not any longer. The doorbell rang and he heard his mom open the door, and then heard her soft foot falls approaching his door. _Garrus must be here._ He stood and adjusted his dress blues, shoving the ring into his pocket.

"Kaidan," His mother voice was soft and comforting. "Garrus is waiting for you."

"Yeah." He breathed and squared his shoulders as he headed out to meet him; his dad gave him a comforting hug before letting him pass.

Garrus wore traditional black. He tried to give a smile to Kaidan as he emerged from the door placing his cover securely on his head. Garrus gave a friendly wave to his parents as they headed for the Cab that had been waiting

* * *

Kaidan stood at the back of the Memorial leaning against a large willow tree. He didn't want to break down in front of Hackett, Anderson or anyone else that was there. He felt angry as he looked at the crowed of people that had gathered to 'Mourn' her. He guaranteed ninety percent of these assholes didn't know even know her. He wanted to scream at every single one of them _How dare you! How dare you show up here pretending you give a shit that she is gone! You didn't give a shit when she was alive! _He took a calming breath instead. He could see Tali, Wrex, and Liara at the front. Garrus was making his way up to sit next to Tali. _We were the only family she had_. He thought bitterly to himself.

"What'd you do to that guy?" Joker whispered suddenly appearing next to him. He was still pissed at Joker. _If he had just left the damn cockpit_ He thought.

"What?" He asked threw his teeth. He heard the pilot swallow, and saw him look down at the grass from the corner of his eye. He brought his head back up not looking at Kaidan. He nodded his head in the direction of the man he spoke of. Kaidan follow his line of site and saw a Native Man Shooting dagger at him with an icy stare. His head was shaved similar to how Aela's was when she first came aboard the Normandy accept it was shaved from his temple down leaving the top pulled back in a short pony tail. He wore his own set of service blues.

"I don't even know who that is." Kaidan said to joker, returning his eyes to the group before him.

"Well he looks likes like sure knows you."

"If you don't mind flight lieutenant there is a memorial service starting." Kaidan said with a hint of Aela's icy voice. Joker nodded taking that as his cue to get lost before they had a repeat of the rescue. Kaidan raised his left hand and rubbed his lips and chin in frustration, as the service stated.

* * *

He stayed behind as the crowed slowly thinned out. The 'team' or what was left of it approached him.

"Are you ok?" Liara asked, he shook his head a slow _no_.

"People are headed to the reception are you coming?" Garrus asked. Kaidan took a long breath and sighed

"In a minute."

"I'll stay with you if that's ok?" Garrus asked, Kaidan gave and appreciative nod.

"Thanks Garrus." The rest of the group headed out. He stood by the tree a long while. Partially afraid of approaching the Memorial/Headstone they had placed with her picture on it. He turned his back to the headstones directions collecting him, staring at the ground at first. As he slowly rose his eyes up he saw Hackett not too far off talking with a large older man. The man was like a mountain, easily 6'5". He had chestnut brown hair pulled to a knot in the back of his head, his face was hard as if having seen many battles in his life, his skin was slightly lighter than Aela's had been, a long scar reached down his right eyebrow, eye and rested on his cheek, And those eyes, _Her _eyes, the same glorious hazel. He heard some of their conversation. They sounded to be arguing. He finally heard the larger man shout. In a booming deep voice

"SHE'S DEAD NOW, WHAT DOES IT MATTER?!" and push past Hackett walking towards Kaidan now.

"Siegfried," Hackett called after him but didn't try to stop him anymore. Siegfried, as his name appeared to be, past by Kaidan and Garrus as if they weren't even there, but Kaidan got a glance at the man's eyes, red and swollen from crying he knew all too well. Kaidan trailed behind the man at a distance intrigued to find out who the he was. He kept a decent distance not wanting to disturb Siegfried. He dropped to his knees in front of the memorial. Kaidan was close enough to hear him speaking to the headstone.

"**no- -swáamay** " He was speaking in Aela's language. " **híicha yáw nóo kamíi'i**!" The mans voice wavered. Kaidan, hearing this man cry he couldn't help himself; he approached and placed a hand on his shoulder. The man didn't even move. He just accepted Kaidan's hand on his back, his own hands hiding his face. Kaidan heard a sound of someone walking towards them and looked up to see the native man accosting him on a mission, His face stern and enraged. As soon as he got within range he punched Kaidan as hard as he could across the jaw, he felt it crack as he toppled to the ground.

" '**oy nóla- póy**!" The native screamed at him,

"I did not!" he yelled back. The Native was surprised Kaidan understood him. The Native man dragged Kaidan to his feet effortlessly and was about to punch him again when Siegfried's enormous hand wrapped around the native mans and he said in low voice "**wita'a kihúut 'íswut**." The native man growled like a true wolf

" **poo'** should** 'áw poháaylonga"** Siegfried sighed

"No he shouldn't be Connor." Kaidan hung his head having under stood that.

"Yes I should be." He replied to which both men and Garrus looked at him confused.

" She ordered me to leave."

"See Connor," Siegfried said letting go of Connor's hand.

"I'm sorry- "Siegfried was looking at Kaidan's officers bars "Lieutenant. Major Garrison misplaced himself." _Oh fucking fantastic he wants to kick my ass and he out ranks me._ Kaidan dusted himself off picking off grass pieces

"Thank you, sir." Kaidan Spoke to Siegfried alone. Connor clenched his fist wanting to hit him again so hard.

"May I ask," Kaidan looked over Siegfried's blues and found his rank and thought he might shit himself _a General? Really?_

_ "_Sir, how did you know her?" Kaidan got the guts up to ask. Siegfried closed his eyes and said

"**miyu poná.**" Kaidan didn't know the second word,

"I'm sorry she didn't teach me very many words, you said 'I am' what?"

"Her Father" Connor snapped, as Siegfried removed a picture from his inside pocked and placed it into a crease on the memorial so it wouldn't fly away. Confusion and surprised ran across his face. _Aela didn't know her parents._

"I'm sorry sir; I don't understand she didn't know her parents." Kaidan watched Siegfried's jaw clench

"That was not by choice." His deep voice rumbled. Siegfried sifted through his pocket and found a small business card, then handed it to Kaidan.

"If you want to talk meet me there, we need to go prepare to send her to the Great Spirit" Siegfried said pulling Connor with him by the arm like a child being led to a spanking, walking past Kaidan. "No **naxánmal**! She made me preform the Exodus rite!" Connor shouted and pulled his arm free from the behemoth of a man.

"For the kachada!" He spat pointing to Kaidan. Kaidan was getting sick of this guy's shit and wanted nothing more than a reason to kick his ass.

"What?" Siegfried said turning slowly to Connor. "Then why are you pursuing him she is no longer **'om- -kíiyam** you have no right to challenge him anymore"

"What do you mean she isn't your family anymore? What the hell is the Exodus rite? And why am I being challenged?" He said swimming in confusion, but he was more curious as to why he was being blamed for it and why this guy was so mad at him. Siegfried sighed and explained

"The Exodus rite is exactly what it sounds like Exodus meaning departure. She departed from her tribe. I want to know why, but here is not the place" Siegfried said reminding Connor where they stood. Connor reluctantly sighed, and followed Siegfried as he turned and continued away. Kaidan watched as the two men left then turned to look at the memorial, specifically at the picture Siegfried had left. The picture was very weathered from being looked at and put away many times. The image was that of Siegfried, much younger than he is now, smiling holding a small baby in his enormous arms standing in the hospital room.

* * *

**no-= **My **-swáamay= **daughter **híicha=**what **yáw= **have **nóo= **I **kamíi'i= **allow '**oy = **You **nóla- = **to leave behind **póy= **her

**wita'a = **stop **kihúut= **Little **'íswut.= **wolf **poo' = **he **'áw= **be **poháaylonga= **at her side **miyu = **I Am **poná= **Her father

**naxánmal= **old man **'om-= **your ** -kíiyam=** family

how it translates/What was meant :

My daughter what have i allow/My daughter What have i allowed.

you leave behind her/you left her behind

he be at her side/he should be at her side

Rear Admiral/General ( pulled this out of the masseffect wiki)


	15. Bring me to life

**A/N: **OK i have written and deleted and rewritten this chapter four times until i settled on this. I wanted to answer questions about Aela's father and Connor's ties to the military without distracting too much form the actual story.

I know most people who have PTSD are quickly discharged from the military but this is a fanfic lol.

Sorry it took so long, to those who are enjoying the story. I had writers block, I'm back on track.

* * *

Kaidan sat at the desk he had been forced to take for at least a month to make sure he wasn't suffering from PTSD from the attack, staring at the card Siegfried had given him. It had been few days since the service. He was still unsure about whether or not he would meet him. _Aela didn't get to know him why should I?_ His omni-tool pinged and he opened the message. It was heavily encrypted and someone with less experience wouldn't have been able to crack it but he did, Not very easily but quick enough. The message was from a General Riker it read.

Hey Kid,

Heading out to California for the passing ceremony with the pup,

Let you know when I'm back I have questions.

-Siegfried

_Why would this be so heavily encrypted? _Kaidan checked the sender address, but it was blocked. _A front? What the hell is going on here? Why would a General send and encrypted message on a burner address? _ Kaidan was frustrated. He was sick and tired; of the cards he had been dealt, of having to be without Aela, being stuck behind a desk, being forced to pretend that he wasn't as upset as he truly was because that would basically be admitting to fraternizing. And he was so fucking tired of Anderson pestering him to take personal leave, to 'recover'. Now he has to deal with Aela's estranged father wanting to talk and some Major had it out for him. There was a knock at the door and Liara stood in the doorway.

"Hey" He said trying to sound friendly. She gave a weak smile herself. Kaidan had lost five pounds in the past two weeks, and his skin was looking pale from like of nourishment. She had a paper bag in her hand datapads in her arm.

"I brought food," she held up the paper bag. He tried to give a genuine smile.

"Thanks." She had picked up from their favorite sushi place but even so, he mostly just play with his food.

"I did some digging and found something interesting." She said placing a datapad in front of him. He flicked it on and looked over the content. It was Aela's personnel file.

"Where did you get this?" He asked

"I have been shall we say making some new friends." She was being cryptic. But he didn't want a long story so he didn't bother prying.

He stared at her service picture for a few minutes. _I always liked her hair that way. It was unique like her._ He moved on to the rest of the info. Everything on her file looked normal;

Name: Shepard, Aela J.

Height: 5'5"

Weight: 125lbs

Ethnicity: Native American

Enlisted: January 12, 2177

Education: Ascension program graduate. Top 10%

Combat Class: Vanguard

Special Notes: _Suffers a low form of PTSD and exhibits low if any interest in socialization, though fit for duty, recommend mandatory check ins with Dr. Barrow's. _

_Prefers to work alone but, works well with others. _

_Possess exceptional leadership skills, recommend for N7 Program. _

_Update: Complains of pain in lower back and hips joint, Monitor in case of progression._

"What am I looking for her Liara? None of this seems out of the norm." He questioned

"Scroll down further." She said unpacking her food.

"Ok… Allergies: Penicillin, Percocet, Nu-" He started listing off.

"No," She looked over his shoulder and pointed to the part she wanted him to read. "Here"

Parents: 

Mother: Inara Riker - Deceased

Father: Siegfried Riker- classified.

"Classified?" He said in confusion, taking a bite of his food.

"Yes, I could find surprisingly little information on him or, Major Garrison was it?"

"Yea," He gently rubbing his sore jaw, the bruise was still black. She placed another datapad in front of him.

"This was all I could find on the Major"

Name: Garrison, Connor L.

Height: 6'1"

Weight: 225lbs

Ethnicity: Native American

Enlisted: March 20th 2174

Education: Unknown

Combat Class: Classified

Parents: Unknown

Special Notes_: Do to genetic testing on muscles in adolescence; strength appears abnormal for his age. Highly skilled in stealth, with a keen sense of surrounding, kills target swiftly and quietly. Recommend for Infiltration or covert warfare. General Riker has requested Corporal Garrison be under his command. Update: after running several simulations Strength testing reveals 37% above the average Krogan_.

_I'm lucky my jaw didn't break. _Kaidan thought.

_"_Everything else is classified" He stated

"Doesn't that strike you as odd?"Liara asked. Studying his features

"mmm, Yea. What did you get on the General?"  
"Even less." She said with frustration placing the last datapad in front of him.

Name: Riker, Siegfried J.

Height: 6'4.2"

Weight: 290lbs

Ethnicity: Native American / German

Education: Unknown

Combat Class: Classified.

Parents: Unknown

Dependents: Classified

"That's It?" He said with agrivation.  
"Yes, as if-"

"He doesn't exist." Kaidan finished for her.

"Correct."-Liara

"You shouldn't have brought this here. We are at Alliance HQ if they don't want him to be found you could get in deep with these." he said with concern.  
"I know but I had to show you."

"Thanks, this was….enlightening." Kaidan said sitting back in his chair rubbing his head. The migraines had been hell lately, they seemed to be coming on more easily and more often these day.

"You really should eat something Kaidan. This isn't healthy. Shepard wouldn't want you torturing yourself like this." She said sounding like his mom.

"I know" he sighed "I just haven't been hungry."

"I understand," Liara had lost a few pounds herself. He looked up at her and saw she was apprehensive about something.

"What's on your mind?" She seemed nervous

"You would give anything to have her back right?" She asked almost embarrassed. He sat forward and popped a California roll into his mouth reluctantly and had to force himself to chew and swallow it.

"You know I would."

"Well, I was approached by a secret organization that said they could." Kaidan stared at her a long moment contemplating what to say.

"That's not possible..is it? I mean she is gone. There is no coming back from that." -Kaidan

"But what If there is?" Liara asked observing his reaction closely.  
"Oh god Liara I can't talk about this. " Frustration boiled in his voice  
"But Kaidan-" She moved toward him.  
"No, Liara I'm barely hanging on here as it is!" he snapped at her.

"But what if they can? Shouldn't we at least try?" She pleaded

"I can't, (Sigh) I can't get my hopes up just to have it be a wild goose chase. I have to move on." He checked the time he was officially off duty. The one perk to a desk job you didn't have to wait to be relieved. He grabbed his jacket and closed everything up.

"But –" She started again.  
"Liara please." He practically begged her to drop it.

"Fine, I'll drop it. But Promise me you'll take better care of yourself."  
"I promise." He lied.

"I mean it Kaidan. I don't want to lose any more of my friends." He sighed

"Ok I, promise." He meant it this time.

"Thank you. Here is my extranet address. Stay in touch." She said leaving him alone in the hall way. He forced himself to down the rest of his dinner, but felt much better after he did. He felt a rush of energy sweep through him. He felt good enough to hit the gym since he wasn't going to sleep anytime soon.

* * *

Aela lay on the bed next to Kaidan watching him take slow long blinks until he fell asleep with the TV on. She glanced at his clock 02:05. He wasn't even going to be getting two hours of sleep till his alarm went off.

"Babe," Aela sighed knowing he couldn't hear her. "You need to get some decent sleep." She took note of the muscle definition he had started to develop. She glided a hand through his hair but felt nothing.

"Ok, how did you do it?" Ashley said appearing at the foot of the bed.

"Do what?" Aela asked attention still on Kaidan.

"Break the time limit. Don't think I didn't notice, you've been gone longer and longer from the shoreline." Ash sounded annoyed

"I don't know. I just force myself to stay when I feel being pulled back." She said blankly. Ash stayed silent for a few minutes watching her watching him.

"Only you would be able to break the rules" She joked trying to lift her spirit (no pun intended)

"Hmm?" Aela wasn't even paying attention.

"I know it hurts, but…..well…I don't know what I can say to make things better." Ash was trying her best to help but she herself hadnt even come to terms with being dead.

"It's not your fault chief." Aela said getting up from the bed and walking over to Ash. "I'm the one who played hero. I tried to save everyone but," She gave one last glance to Kaidan. "I failed."

"You did your best Commander."

"Yea." They felt themselves be pulled to the shoreline but there was something different. The sky, it was a peachy orange from the sun rising. The coast was different as well, it was familiar. It dawned on Aela that they now stood on her people's sacred ground.

"No." she whispered and turned around. Connor stood in front of her, Looking directly at her. She looked past him and saw his physical body lying on the ground. _He's on a spirit walk._

"Ahote?" he asked with joy bubbling over at the name.

"What have you done Askiwheteau?" She demanded. "There is a reason spirit walks are forbidden"

"I had to make sure you were ok." He sounded hurt

"Who is that?" Ashley asked checking the soft russet man out.

"An old friend." Aela snipped. "You could get stuck in the in between you need to return."

"I will but I just wanted to see you why have you not gone on to the Great Spirit, I preformed the-"  
"Because I can't" She spat. His demeanor changed from joy to anger.

"Even in death you refuse to leave him?" he snarled. Aela saw a large older but muscular man run over to Connors body and attempt to bring him back.

"Who is that?" She asked walking past Connor's spirit to the two corporeal forms. He thought for a moment if he should or shouldn't say. He landed on the first.

"Your father." He said softly.

"What? No, I don't have parents." Confusion ran away with her.

"He was forced to give you up, but he has been watching you from the sidelines your whole life." Her head swam with static and she dropped to her knees. Her vision was blurring.

"What's happening?" She panted.

"You're going back." Ashley said as Shepard's vision went again to static of a white room, and then returned to her.

"You won't remember any off this so I'll say it now," Ashley's voice was full of sadness "I'll miss you Shepard." Aela hardly heard the words. Her eyes darted around the white room, her breathing escalating. She heard monitors going crazy around the room and two people talking in the distance.

"She's waking up." She heard a man say.

"Damn it Wilson, she is ready yet. Give her the sedative." She heard a woman with an Australian accent say. She saw the brown haired woman over her, Aela lifted her left hand and the woman grasped it.

"Try to relax Shepard." She barley heard and slipped back into unconsciousness.


	16. Ice Queen

**A/N:** My theory is that Biotics should be used similar to the Green lanterns powers so I'm gonna start incorporating that in battle scenes . If you don't like it sorry... I'm also butchering the actually game sequences because they take too long in written form. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

"Wake up Shepard. Shepard, get off that bed and move!" The female voice demanded over the comm. Shepard's eyes batted furiously open trying to focus. She grabbed her jaw and widened it till it popped and got of the bed hazily. Her thick hair hung in loose waves around her face.

"I know you're confused but there isn't time, grab the pistol, Amp, and armor in the locker." Aela scrambled over to said locker and procured the light armor, pistol, and hooked up the amp, tossing her hair into a quick bun. She forgot how heavy her hair was when she had it all. _I'll fix that later_.

"There isn't any ammo in this pistol." Aela called out to whoever had been talking to her.

"I know, there is a thermal clip in the next room, get to cover." Aela did as the voice commanded and not a moment too soon as the door blasted open. She ran through the door and picked up a thermal clip on the ground and slammed it home into the pistol.

"Look out!" The voice called as she jumped over some creates and saw a mech standing at the top of the stairs. She lined up her shot and fired at the mech's head, it sputtered and fell over.

"You're doing good Shepa-"the voice went up in static.

"Hey, you there?" Aela called but all she got was static. _Great, I'll just have to press on._ She thought going up the stairs and through a few doors

"Shepard! Help!" She hear someone call and tossed a cold glance to her left as a large heavy mech gunned down the person who had called her. She walked through the doors and saw a man shooting at some mechs across a balcony. She fired a few shots off at the mechs hitting them all with one shot in the head, and took cover near the man.

"Shepard? Things must be really bad if Miranda has you up and moving." He said. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"S-sorry I forgot this is all knew to you. I'm Jacob Taylor, I've been stationed here for-"He was cut off by incoming mechs. "I'll explain later we need to get out of here. We're low on thermal clips but I'm a biotic."  
"That makes two of us." She said and used a biotic lash to slam the mechs into the wall crushing them. He stood stunned at her impressive display. She cracked her knuckles heading for the door.

"I'm sure you have questions" He said fallowing after her.

"Not really." She said shortly. "I'm confused on how I am here but I don't much care to know the answer. I'm looking for someone."

"Miranda?" He asked. She stopped and turned to him confused.  
"Who? No I'm Looking for Lieutenant-"She was cut off by incoming radio chatter.

"Anyone on this frequency? Anyone still alive? Hello?" she recognized the voice from when she first woke up.

"Wilson? This is Jacob, I'm with Shepard. Just took out a wave of mechs in D-wing."

"She's alive? How the hell… never mind. You need to get her out of there. Get in the service tunnels and get to the control room."  
"On it. Stay on this frequency Wilson." Aela reloaded her pistol.

"Which way?" She asked.

"Ugh th-this way." He said walking past her. She made him nervous. He had heard Commander Shepard was cold and intimidating but he just thought they were exaggerating. But given her stony demeanor, he now felt they were underplaying it.

* * *

They picked up Wilson and made their way to the escape shuttle. The doors to the shuttle bay opened.

"Miranda?" Wilson exclaimed in surprise as the brunette gave him a damning look and placed a built between the eyes. Aela watched his body fell lifelessly to the floor.

"What the hell Miranda!?" Jacob said taken aback lifting his pistol to her.

"He betrayed us." She informed.

"Shit happens" Shepard said waking over the body and to the shuttle. Her cold indifference took Miranda by surprise.

"He tried to kill you." She said hoping to elicit a response.

"Well so has half the galaxy, and apparently someone already succeeded. The hell should I care he's dead now?" She said plainly boarding the shuttle. Miranda stared after her in shock.

"Yea she's pretty intense." Jacob said replacing his pistol and scooted around the body.

"I don't understand maybe we missed something" Miranda argued to herself over the lack of emotion Aela seemed to exhibit.

"Maybe, but I have a sickening feeling that's you succeeded in bringing her back _exactly_ the way she was." He emphasized walking toward the shuttle. Miranda thought about that for a moment then proceeded aboard the ship.

* * *

Jacob and Miranda stared at Shepard from across the shuttle to Freedoms progress. Eyes closed cracking her knuckles, wrist, back, neck and finally getting a load pop from her left shoulder as she rotated it, with her right hand near her neck. She opened her eyes and saw their stares.

"What?" She asked

"Are you sure you put her together right?" Jacob semi joked at Miranda with a playful nudge.

"I thought so. I mean we added some cybernetics to fix her back and hips so they would stop grinding on each other but.." Miranda looked slightly disgusted.  
"Thanks again for that its nice no to be in constant pain." She scratched at the back of her head in agitation taking her hair out of the heavy bun and putting it back in, over and over until she finally left it in a tick ponytail. She figured since she wasn't with the Alliance at this moment she didn't have to fallow their regs.

"Do you have orders for us?" Miranda asked as they approached the LZ.

"Don't die, if I tell you to do something do it without question." Shepard said adjusting her collar.

"That's it?" Miranda questioned.

"Yes that's it. What else would you like me to say? We are just supposed to be investigating right? Hell, I shouldn't even have to tell you not to die since it's expected that no one's here anymore, But last time I had a mission that was just supposed to be us checking something out, a Corporal died and Geth were everywhere. So I thought I'd take the extra precaution." She said as they landed.


	17. She has a heart after all

**A/N: **I don't plan to go through everyone's dossier but here are a few I felt like doing

* * *

"This is Omega? Well this place is a shit hole." Aela said lighting a cigarette and walking through the docking area, with Miranda and Jacob close behind, as a Batarian approached them.

"Aria wants to see you."  
"Good for her." She said passing him. He grabbed her by the arm to try to make her stop and she threw him across the hall.

"Don't touch me" she growled, and continued her way down the hallway towards a man in yellow armor beating on another Batarian.  
"Zaeed Massani?" She asked not too sure If she had the right man. He turned around revealing a scared face.

"Who's asking?" He asked coolly

"I am" She said showing she wasn't easily intimidated

"And you are?"

"Shepard."

"Oh right, I made that deal with Cerberus, I assume you know the conditions of my contract."

"No, but everyone has a price, name it." She said taking a drag of her cigarette.

"I like you straight to the point," He said with a smile "Picked up a mission before I signed on with Cerberus. They assured me it would get done."

"Well if they said it get done it will." She said as the Batarian tried to make a break for it, He didn't get very far before Zaeed shot him.

"Better turn this in before it starts to stink. See you on the ship." He said walking away.

She made her way down to the markets and stopped at kiosk that appeared to belong to a Quarian. She flicked through his products list.

"This crap is seriously overpriced" She called over to him. He was working on something but he heard her well enough.

"I know, sorry Herrot's forcing me to sell high. Says he was here first, and doesn't want competition." The poor kid said.

"How did you end up selling overprice crap here?" She asked looking him over.

"I came here on pilgrimage; all my credits were stolen the first day so I thought I'd sell scraps to help pay my way off. But with these prices no one's buying. I only need about 1500 more to get off here" He said with defeat

"That sucks." She said with indifference. She found a decent set of clippers in his stock and paid the meager 200 credits with an additional tip of 1500. He handed her the product from the shelf. He studied the transaction for a moment not sure it was right.

"Thank you." He said in awe at her kindness.

"For what?" She asked over her shoulder making her way around the corner and up the stairs.

"That was nice of you Shepard" Miranda said with a small smile at the corner of her lips.

"What are you talking about?" She asked inspecting her new clippers.

"What are you planning to do with those?" Jacob asked.

"Alleviate some of the weight on my skull." She said with the cigarette between her lips.

"I thought most women were very keen on their hair." He questioned  
"I am I just like less of it." She said absent minded.

* * *

"Come on Garrus it's not that hard, you just flick this button here and only cut the area I designated for you." She was trying to convince Garrus aka archangel help shave the bottom half of her hair again. She had already piled the hair she wanted to keep on top of her hair and trimmed the length of the hair she wanted to get rid of.

"I don't feel comfortable with this Shepard why don't you have that other human woman help you?" The look on her face told him everything.

"OK you don't like her obviously, But why me?" he begged.

"Because other than Joker, you're the only one on this ship I trust." She said matter-of-fact-ly. He debated for a few minutes then sigh his defeat and took the clippers from her hand.

"I'm sorry in advance in case I mess up."

"Garrus you can put a built in between the eyes of anyone over two-hundred meters away with ease. You can to this." She reassured.

"Alright" He agreed with slightly more confidence, placing the clippers with their number 1 setting at the base of her skull and slowly pushed up. "So have you talked to him?" He asked cautiously. He saw her eyes lower in the mirror out of his peripherals.

"No, have you?" She asked her eyes snapping up to him. He saw a glimpse of hope in them.

"No, we fell out when I went to Omega. Just trying to start fresh you know?"

"Yea, I guess I can understand that." She said. "What about Tali? You two seemed to get along." She poked fun knowing he had been attacked to her.

"We stay in contact." He said not biting. "Just without you around as the glue, we all kind of fell apart." They stayed in silence for a few minutes with only the hum of the electric razor in the air.

"And done" He said, turning the machine off.

"See, Garrus" She said inspecting the work. "I knew you could do it." She gave him a hearty smile.

"Yea well next time ask someone else." He teased.

"Why would I do that when I have the Great Archangel two floors below me? I need to take a shower now to get the little particles off." He took the hint and retreated to the gun battery.


	18. Horizon

**A/N:** I hate the armor in ME2 so envision if you will, My Shep in something similar to Morinth's cloths.

* * *

Kasumi sat unsure of what to do with the greybox Keiji had left her. He had requested she destroy it. Aela thought about her own greybox she had left for Kaidan. _He wouldn't have been able to destroy it. Of course if it was the other way around I wouldn't be able to either._

"Hell," Shepard sighed. "If it was me, and that was from _him….. _I'd want to keep it too." Aela said looking out the window. Kasumi eyed her suspiciously form under her hood.

"From _him?" _She pried at Aela's choice of words.

"Yes him and that's as much as you're getting from me." Aela didn't see Kasumi's smirk.

* * *

Aela waited in anticipation for the shuttle to land on Horizon. If Kaidan was here she needed to find him.

"Nervous Shep?" Kasumi asked referring to her right leg which had been thumping furiously into the floor since they left the Normandy. She stilled it as best she could. She wasn't nervous just anxious. She had tried to contact Kaidan since she woke up but everyone was stone walling her. She cleared he throat.

"No." She replied, Garrus snorted at her and she shot him a look that would freeze hell over. She adjusted in her seat tugging at her armor. She had picked up some Asari Commando armor from the Citadel; though it didn't fit as well as the armor Kaidan had gotten her, it did the job. She tugged her pony tail making sure it was securely in place.

"I'm sure He'll think you look fine." Garrus said softly from next to her hoping Kasumi wouldn't hear. She didn't say anything as they landed.

"Mordin are you sure the anti-paralytic will work?" She called over the radio seeing the seeker swarms in the distance.

"Impossible to know for sure, look forward to seeing if you survive" He replied through static.

"Thanks Mordin." She said sarcastically. "Alright, you heard him let stay sharp."

* * *

Somehow, he still wasn't sure how, he had gotten free of the paralysis, and managed not to get taken. He found himself thanking the Great Spirit. Something he hadn't done in a while. _That was weird_. He thought.

He heard gun fire coming from near the center of the colony and then the defense towers start to fire.

"Son of bitch." He said in awe. He had been here for a good week trying to figure out how to calibrate those damn things. _It's her_. _Only she could get it work. _He shook his head there was no way that could be true. _Once you're dead you're dead. _He thought trying not to get his hopes up as he ran towards the direction of the gun fire he had heard. He stopped like a dear caught in the head lights when he turned the corner and saw her. Same perpetual look of general pissed-off-ness, same thick black-brown hair up in a ponytail barely showing the shaved back of her head and just above her ears, that beautiful soft red skin, hugged tightly by her black blue armor. She shook her head a Delan, who had been bitching about something.

"That ship is huge, the hell do you expect me to do throw rocks at it?" She said with the same icy silk tone he had known her voice to be as her right arm gestured to the retreating collector ship. Garrus was at her back along with a small hooded girl he had never seen before.

"Shepard did her best to save all the colonist she could." Garrus was backing her up.

"Shepard I know that name, some kind of big Alliance hero right?" Delan asked. Kaidan found his feet carrying himself to her and his mouth moving, speaking about her but he didn't feel in control. Those beautiful hazel eyes found his and he melted on the inside.

"Of everyone they took they left you behind? Ugh I'm done with you Alliance types." Delan said marching off. He couldn't stop himself he walked right up to her and hugged her as tight as he could as if she would fly away if he let go.

Aela almost broke down when she felt his arms around her again for the first time in years, apparently.

"Augh, Kasumi let's check the perimeter." Garrus said

"The collector ship is gone, who would be left?" She said not 'catching his drift'. He shook his head backing up trying to give them some space.

"Maybe _Keiji _is hiding around here." He said hoping she would get that reference.

"What? OOOOhhhhhhhh right, I'll just be over… yea.." She said finally getting it and retreating to a safer distance that at least made her look like she was looking for something. She disappeared around a crate. Garrus stayed with in ear shot.

"I missed you, are you ok?" She whispered in to his shoulder. He pulled away quickly with a flash of anger on his face.

"That's it? Just act like nothing happened the past two years?" His anger was palpable. Her face was full of confusion. "I thought I meant more to you than that. I loved you." Her heart fluttered at the words but they were full of venom as he continued. "Thinking you were dead tore me apart how could you put me through that? Why didn't you try to contact me? Why didn't you let me know you were alive?"  
"The hell makes you think I didn't try?" Her own anger started to bubble at the accusation that she would ever do something to hurt him on purpose.

"Probably the fact that I didn't get a message from you or that Anderson had to tell me he had seen you."  
"Well did Anderson also tell you I asked where you were and he refused to tell me anything?" She bit. _That shut him up_. His face was a mixture of surprise and confusion.

"So then was he lying about you being with Cerberus?" She dropped her eyes to the floor which said it all for him. "Yeah, don't think I'm so easy to manipulate into turning my back on the Alliance." Her eyes shot up to him.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Talking shit on Anderson when he's right about you being with a terrorist organization."

"I'm not with them-"She started but he cut her off.

"Save it, I'm done talking to this Cerberus puppet pretending to be the woman I loved." He said turning his back and walking away.

"Damn it Kaidan!" Garrus spat but he ignored him. He stole one last look over his shoulder at her, and felt his heart sink. He watched her turn to stone; saw the physical change as she turned her emotions off. He had to stop himself from running back and apologizing. _It's not her. Not really. Get your shit together Alenko._ He had walked back in the direction he came from and turned a few corners, when he heard footsteps behind him. _Don't turn around. Don't turn around. Don't turn around._

"Kaidan stop!" It was Garrus' voice he hear not Aela's. He spun around quickly not expecting that.

"What?" He asked the turian he had once considered a good friend.

"That's Shepard back there through and through and you know it." Garrus said

"How are you so sure?" He was more trying to convince himself. _Garrus would follow her anywhere. _  
"You knew her better than anyone. Don't tell me that soul mate crap you humans are always going on about doesn't apply to people who have a connection like you two." Kaidan pressed his right hand index knuckle to his eye.

"I don't know anything anymore Garrus." He admitted.

"Look I vouch for her she has spent almost every spare minute she had trying to contact or find you. I was there when Anderson refused to tell her anything about you." Garrus wasn't known to lie. Kaidan felt a tug of war going on inside of him. Garrus was right a part of him knew without a doubt that that was her. But the other half was in denial. _She could have sent a message. Why didn't she?_

"My extranet address hasn't changed, why wouldn't she be able to get a message to me then?" He said trying to make sense of everything. Garrus had started his return down the way they came.

"It hasn't? Good I plan to spam the shit out of it now." He said over his shoulder.


	19. The Voice of Reason

Aela sat at her desk rereading Kaidan's message over and over. She didn't know how to feel. He had cut her deep on Horizon. _He called me a puppet. _

"_When things settle down a little... maybe... I don't know. Just take care_." Those words hung in her mind. She had received this almost a week ago. She wanted to reply but didn't know what to say. What could she say?_ Better to say nothing right?_

"Commander, we're approaching Illium." Joker's voice came over the comm.

"Thanks" She replied staring at Kaidan's picture on her desk. _Just focus on the mission now, Aela._ She pushed herself away from her desk and walked to the elevator.

* * *

Kaidan's Omni-tool buzzed and he flicked it open to a message from Garrus.

"Goddamn it" He was hesitant to open the message. Garrus hadn't been kidding about spamming the shit out of his extranet address. The last time he got a message from him, he was in the middle of a discussion with a few engineers about how to get maximum efficiency out of the GAURDIAN towers, when he opened the message it was a very loud fetish vid of a Krogan doing unspeakable things to a Vorcha and a pyjak. He read the Subject line a few times before he gave in and opened it. The Message simply said _'Its bad_' with a vid form what appeared to be from Garrus' visor. Garrus' often took vid's of their missions to recap what happened and try to learn from them. After making sure he was alone in the gun town he played the vid.

"Fucking hell Zaeed warn me before you almost blow us up!" Shepard's voice was chastising an older man in yellow armor as they made their way through what looked like a burning refinery. Aela walked ahead of both men, cold and resolute as ever. They were about to walk through a door when screams for help came from the second story behind them. Garrus had turned around to see a factory worker waving them down

"We're trapped in here!" He pleaded Garrus turned back to Aela who kept walking.

"Shepard are you just going to let them burn to death?" He asked

"Not my problem," She called over her shoulder. "Zaeed's the one that blew the place. Their lives are on him, I'm just assisting today."

"Goddam right you are." Zaeed, apparently, said fallowing close behind her. Garrus threw one last glance behind him as the man begged them to stop and help, and then reluctantly fallowed. The vid ended.

_If you were there she would have stopped to save them. _He thought bitterly. _No she's an adult and she made that choice, you can't blame yourself for her ruthless actions. _ He clicked reply on the message.

_'I'm sorry you weren't able to help those people Garrus I know as a former C-Sec officer it must be hard to not be able to help.' _He clicked send and continued with his work. His omni-tool pinged back with a response

'_It was. I wish you were here. You were always the voice of reason.'-Garrus_

_'Shepard's an adult capable of making her own choices, Garrus.'- Kaidan_

_'Yea well weather you want to agree or not you she always listened to you'- Garrus_

He was correct there. She had listened to him a lot when they were together.

She still hadn't responded to his message, but she had received and read it. The check mark was there next to the message. A few people from maintenance started walking in, Kaidan smiled in acknowledgment of them, and they waved or smiled back. Garrus sent another message. He opened it and instantly regretted it as loud moans came forth from his omni-tool. This time it was an Asari taking it from a Batarian. He quickly swatted the message closed and hung his head in embarrassment as the few people turned to look at him. _People probably think I'm such a perv, watching Porn on duty._

_"_Damn it Garrus." He said under his breath.


	20. Ass Kicking Space Diva Night

**A/N: **I'm sure there are people who like Miranda but i can't stand her personally so sorry if you like her i bash her a lot. If anyone watches Vampire Diaries think of Aela's mannerisms and sarcasm similar Damon's because that's how i have intended her to be. sorry if i am not portraying that right. And i know Thane only Calls Shepard Siha if they are romanced Apparently but i played through ME2 staying loyal to Kaidan and Had Thane call me Siha so yea.. Hope you enjoy and find a few laughs.

* * *

Aela lay on her bed utterly exhausted from chasing ardat-yakshi, killing thresher maws, blowing up old Cerberus facilities, stopping assassinations, destroying geth heretics and of course helping get revenge from time to time.

"Hey Shep." Jack called walking into her room. She looked down to the door and saw Jack and Kasumi with devilish looks on their face. They were up to no good. She knew it. She narrowed her eyes at them in suspicion.

"What do want?" She asked with her guard up ready for almost anything.

"Nothing just wanted to see what you were up to?" Jack asked plopping down on the couch, with Kasumi fallowing.

"Jack you never come out of your cubby under engineering, and Kasumi I don't know what you could possibly want to steal form me but take it I doubt I want it." She said dropping her head back to the bed.

"Ahahha no it's nothing like that Shep, you're way too paranoid." Jack said which made her laughed.

"Jack, are _you _seriously calling _me_ paranoid?"

"Yea I am." Aela rolled her eyes.

"Oh Great Spirit, just tell me what you two want." She groaned. As unlikely as it could seem these two had become her two closest friends. Her and jack were almost cut from the same cloth, while she could relate to Kasumi over the greybox. The only other new member worthy of the title friend to her was Thane. They had talked often about battle and what it was like for them to walk through life hallow. Feeling like they only lived to kill the next target.

"We'll we are dry docked her at Omega until tomorrow afternoon right?" Kasumi asked

"Yes." She answered slowly.

"So why don't we have a girls night. Just the three of us… and Tali, we like her, so four of us." Jack suggested. Aela's head snapped up to look at them. They were being serious.

"A girl's night? Sure go fine some girls first." She said sarcastically. "None of us are feminine enough for that title"  
"Fine an ass kicking space diva night." Jack corrected.

"I could do that I guess." Shepard said and got her omni-tool.

"Who are you calling?" Kasumi asked.

"Aria. She'll want to know I'm coming she likes to make a big deal out of me hanging around Afterlife."

"Shepard. So nice to hear from my favorite Spectre." Aria's voice purred.  
"Yea, yea spare me, I'm coming with a few friends to drink our lights out tonight." Shepard said blatantly "There I have warned you in advance incase anything gets fucked up or you know we kill someone."

"Well of course Shepard would you and your guests care to partake in the VIP area tonight?" Aria was being unusually nice.

"What do you want me to do?" Aela asked calling her crap.

"Why Shepard, what I've always wanted. To know I can call on you whenever I need you." She sounded like the Cheshire cat.

"Fine, see you tonight." She said shutting off her omni-tool.

* * *

"Siha, are you alright?" Aela heard Thane's voice over her; she was lying on her stomach face buried in her pillow. She opened one eye to look at him.

"Stop screaming at me." She whispered. He was taken aback by the request.

"I assure you I am not." He said. She groaned her displeasure, and heard other footsteps around the room.

"I brought coffee." Garrus whispered.

"Like that Thane, talk quiet like that." She said into her pillow

"I see," he said in a normal voice eliciting another groan. "Sorry Siha." He whispered.

"Why are you calling me that?" She asked. Garrus giggled

"Cause snake boy wants to put his snake in you." Jack called unabashed grabbing some coffee.

"Excuse me?" Thane said blinking, not sure what she was talking about. "What is a snake?"

"A smaller version of you that has no arms or legs." Jack retorted.

"JACK! SHHHHHHHH." Aela hissed turning over in bed to look at the damage of the room. Kasumi was passed out on the couch, Tali curled up in a ball on the floor, Garrus was promptly tending to her though.

"Ahahhaahh" Jack laughed at them. "I'm so fucking lucky I don't get hangovers like you assholes."

"Here." Thane said handing Aela coffee.

"Thank you." She whispered sitting up in bed and taking the cup.

"Partied a little hard last night don't you think?" Garrus asked

"Fuck yea that's the point of girls night. I mean ass kicking space diva night." Jack corrected. "Get hammered, hit on guys, make bad decisions."  
"Hit on guys huh?" Garrus looked over at Aela, who was sipping gingerly at the hot coffee with her face in her free hand.

"Maybe they did." She muttered.

"But not you?" Thane asked. Garrus could see what apparently only Jack saw too. _Spirits, Shepard is dense. Or she still only has eyes for Kaidan._

"What's the point? We're all on a suicide mission" She mumbled. Clearly not what the Drell had hoped to hear, Garrus observed his reaction.

"Is that the only reason?" Thane pried. She gave him strange look.

"Yea."  
"Oh? So it doesn't have anything to do with that Alliance hunk on Horizon does it?" Kasumi said softly from the couch. Aela blushed ever so slightly. Thane suspected that only he caught it.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She said trying to cover her feelings.

"You know the one whose picture sits on your desk?" Kasumi pressed.

"Is it just me or are there way too many people in my room" Aela said deflecting.

"We're going." Garrus called helping Tali to her feet.

"Yea, yea." Jack said walking out like she hadn't spent most of the night drinking.

"Deflect all you want Shep. But I was there." Kasumi purred slipping out of the room. It was just her and Thane now. She placed the coffee down on her night stand and flopped back down.

"Shall I see if Mordin has anything for a hangover?" Thane asked.

"Sure." She waved her hand aimlessly lulling somewhere between asleep and awake. He smiled and retreated from the room, as Miranda made her way in.

"Hell of a night Shepard." She said sounding like shit herself. Aela lifted her head lightly to see her.

"You weren't there…..where you?"

"At first no, but then you called me down after having a few …bottles, much to Jacks displeasure." Miranda said making her way over to the bed.

"You two just need to fuck and get it over with already." Shepard said laying her head back down and closing her eyes.  
"Excuse me?" Miranda asked obviously offended.

"I didn't stutter." She said opening one eye to look at the brunette. "Where did you end up?"

"In my room. I wasn't as drunk at the rest of you I remember last night. Well, most of it." Miranda said staring at something in her right hand. "Anyway I just wanted to bring these up to you. You had them on you when we received you're body. I don't know how they survived. I've been meaning to give them back to you but it kept slipping my mind." She said placing two small metal plates in Aela's left hand. _Kaidan's tags_. She remembered that moment as if she were there.

"Thank you." She said her voice wavered with emotion. She clutched the tags tight resting her fist on her sternum.

"I'll set a course for the Citadel while EDI finishes up with the reaper IFF." Miranda said taking note of Shepard's change in body language and retreaded from the room.

* * *

Kaidan sat outside Dark Star looking out at the sky cars passing by, as he dank his coffee. He finally had a few days of shore leave which was a welcome break form the terminus systems.

"Siha, I don't think it is a good for you to drink as much as you have been." He heard a Drell behind him say. He looked over and saw the Drell and Aela outside of the bar; she faced the bar and the drell was standing on her left. She looked thinner than he remembered her being. Her hair was down, and she wore knee high boots over her jeans and a tight black tank. He slid across the bench so she couldn't see him.

"Why the hell do you keep calling me that? Is it some kind of inside joke between you and Garrus or something?" He heard her ask the Drell. _She sounds annoyed. _He leaned over trying to get a look at them without being seen. A wave of jealousy ran through him as he saw a familiar look on the drell's face as his black eyes looked over her body. Her head was turned away from the Drell she appeared to be looking for someone.

"No, I'll tell you what it means another time." He reassured her.

"Yea Snake boy's really trying his hardest to get her attention." Garrus said sitting down next to him, catching Kaidan by surprise. He had to stifle a yelp which only made Garrus that much more proud of himself.

"What are you guys doing here?" He asked after calming himself.

"We're getting ready to go through the Omega 4 Relay." Garrus said "We came for some last minute supplies and to stretch our legs one more time, are you seriously not bothered by that?" He asked refereeing to Thane and Shepard.

"What?" Kaidan asked looking at Garrus who was unconvinced. "(Sigh) I don't know. Maybe. I mean…I sent her a message but she hasn't responded. It's been over a month. Speaking of mail stop sending crap to my address it has caused me a whole lot of awkward conversation's to say the least."  
"I don't know what you're talking." Garrus sipped at his own drink. Kaidan rolled his eyes, and then took another glance behind at Shepard.

"Is she waiting for someone?" Kaidan's voice dripped with jealousy. Garrus smirked.

"Yeah, her other new BFF Jack. She's Shepard's long lost sister I swear." Kaidan saw the bald girl walk up to Aela and the Drell and they all walk inside. He returned his attention to the sky cars in front of him.

"She's been drinking a lot." Garrus stated. Kaidan chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"Has she?" He asked not surprised. "I'm sure her back pain has more to do with that then me."

"What pain?" Garrus asked confused. _Was I really the only one other than Dr. Chakwas that knew about her pain?_

"The cushion in between her spinal discs are severely eroded." Kaidan said throwing a glance at Garrus.

"Not anymore. I made her better than new." A blue eyed, brunette informed with and Australian accent. She stood next to the bench by Kaidan. "I made sure her cybernetics fixed that problem. Along with repairing her shattered ear drum. Who is your friend Garrus?"

"Kaidan Alenko." Kaidan stood holding out his hand, eyeing the woman suspiciously.

"Commander Alenko, you're a hard man to find." She said folding her arms. Kaidan raised an eyebrow at her and dropped his hand. "I hope you haven't been giving away all out secrets, Garrus." She said haughtily.

"Cerberus I take it." Kaidan said through his teeth.

"Yes, I'm the one who brought Shepard back to life." She said smugly. Kaidan would never hit woman but this bitch's attitude was making him seriously consider it. He flexed his jaw and turned to Garrus.

"Nice seeing you again." He said and walked past her throwing his cup away. He heard a little bit of their conversation behind me.

"Shepard, Jack, and Thane are in dark star having a few drinks Miranda." Garrus said trying to turn her attention away from him.

"Ugh, last time she was there she drank ryncol." Miranda huffed off towards the bar.

"She still has the stomach of a Krogan." Garrus said under his breath


	21. Querida

**A/N:** OK so I'm sure this is unlikely how it went down but it my version of how Shep turned herself in.

In the game one of Vega's skill sets is Arms Master, For those who many not know In the Navy, Master-at- Arms is the title for Military Police, which is why i wrote this going down this way.

And Aela isnt flirting back for those who may think she is. She is fucking around with Vega because she thought he knew who she was.

aaaaand i think thats it enjoy

* * *

James had made it to Omega a day early. Tomorrow morning he was supposed to meet the Infamous Commander Shepard at the docking bay and She would 'come quietly' as well as surrender the Normandy SR-2. At least that's what he had been told by command. But that wasn't until tomorrow, so he thought he would stop in at Afterlife for a few drinks. As he approached the bar he saw a gorgeous woman leaning against it at the far end smoking a cigarette. Her thick black-brown hair was down and swept to her side away from him showing off a small piece of her head that was shaved just above her ear and down her neck. Her black t-back tank hugged her body in all the right ways and her jeans though covering them, made her legs look damn good. The bartender put a shot down beside her.

"Starry Night" The Bartender said. She turned towards him to pick it up the glass. _Aye dios mio, those eyes. esta mujer es una diosa. _He thought drinking in her stunning features.

"Ma'am, there's no smoking in Afterlife." The bartender said to her. She took her shot and tapped the glass letting him know she wanted another.

"There is for me." She said returning to her original position facing away from the bartender.

"Ma'am if you don't put that out I'll have to call over a bouncer." The turian bartender seemed nervous.

"Don't bother I'll settle this." She called to him behind her and waved down a Batarian on the second floor, who tapped Aria and pointed over to the woman. The asari turned to look at the soft red skinned woman over her shoulder. The woman simply held up her cigarette in one hand and a thumbs up in the other. Aria looked over at her for a moment then gave a short nod of approval, and turned back around.

"See, told you." The woman said plainly.

"Sorry ma'am I didn't know you and Aria were close." He said placing another shot next to her.

"We're not." She said and drank it. "Keep 'em coming." She shouted over the music to the bartender who gave her an acknowledging nod. She turned about and faced the bar taking a drag on her cigarette.

"Sure you can handle another Starry Night, hermosa? Those shots are strong." James said striving for flirtatious. She looked over at him and raised an eyebrow as she looked him over and smirked, taking note of his Alliance t-shirt and fatigues.

"I'm stronger." She said sarcastically. He shot his eyebrows up in surprise

"Is that so querida?" He said sliding over to her, leaning his left side against the bar to face her. She shook her head at him and took another drag of her cigarette.

"One of my closest friends is a Krogan. We're neck and neck for shots of ryncol." She said though she suspected he didn't understand that she was messing with him. She flicked her hair to the other side of her and he took note of her tattoos.

"Qué es esto ? You got ink too?" He said admiring the work on her neck.  
"Yeah" She said taking a look at his neck and arm piece. She played with her tongue ring on her lip waiting for another shot.

"Eso es caliente." He said watching her.

"You Alliance types always so eager to hit on a woman?" She asked placing her cigarette between her lips and running her right hand through her hair.

"Naw. You're special." He said flirtatiously. She let out a soft chuckle

"On that we can agree."

"Oh now someone's getting cocky." She gave him a playful wink and exhaled the smoke from her lungs, looking for a place to put out the butt of her cigarette. The bartender placed a spare glass on the bar for her.

"Thanks" She called. He gave a weak smile and placed another shot in front of her.

"How are those shot's treating you? Starting to feel good?" he asked watching her shoot her drink.

"Something like that." _Does he really not know who I am?_ She thought, and lit another cigarette.

"Those things are bad for you." His voice was swimming in lust as he looked her over almost drooling  
"Really? I had no fucking idea." She was being a smart ass.

"Beautiful woman like you shouldn't have such a nasty habit."

"Beautiful huh?" She asked between drags

"Oh yea. You're the only one in here worth looking at." He scanned the room and realized that everyone took at least one long look at her as if they all recognized her, or knew her somehow. She stood up right and cracked her neck, then twisted her left shoulder. _All the crap Cerberus fixed on me and they couldn't fix this. _She thought as her shoulder let out a pop.

"Sounds like you might need a massage querida."

"No." She snipped. He was stunned momentarily at her change of tone. "I don't like being touched." She informed.

"Alright, Lola, I won't touch you. At least not till you ask." He returned playfully. The bartender placed another shot in front of her and she drank it quickly

"Lola?" She gave a questioning look to him.

"Yeah, buddy's sister growing up was Lola. Older sister, hot, tough." She gave and approving look.

"Can't argue with that." He grinned thinking he was making ground. She checked the time on her Omni-tool. "Love to stay and chat," Her voice oozed with sarcasm. "But I got some where to be in the morning." She said putting the cigarette out, and closing out her tab.

"Is that an invitation?" He asked hopeful but not giving it away with his voice. The look she gave him said '_yea fucking right in your dreams maybe.'_ The Batarian from the second floor came down to meet them.

"Shepard, Aria wants to see you before you go." He said.

"Thanks Garka." She said and walked off toward Aria's thrown. James' face dropped as he realized he just spent a good 30 minutes, at least, hitting on the woman he was supposed to arrest tomorrow.

* * *

The Next day James waited for her at the docking bay hoping she hadn't run off last night. _Maldita sea I bet she did. _He was surprised when she showed up at 08:00 on the dot.

"I didn't think you were gonna show after last night ma'am." He said trying to sound professional.

"I'm a woman of my word mister-" She hadn't gotten his name last night.

"Vega. Lieutenant James Vega, Master at Arms." He saluted. "Commander Shepard."

"What, no Lola?" She jested approaching him, causing him to blush which he didn't do easily.

"Sorry ma'am I didn't recognize you last night."  
"I'm not big on pictures or camera time so I doubt most people do." She said turning back to him and placing her hands behind her back. For half a second he didn't know what she was doing.

"Are you gonna cuff me or what?" She asked looking over her shoulder at him. His mind wandered and he looked around embarrassed at her suggestion till he realized he was there to actually arrest her.

"Ugh, yea, right." He sputtered and placed the restraints on her. He noticed her demeanor changed and her breathing had escalated.

"Are you alright?" He asked coming to her side and caught a glimpse of her face. Her eyes closed face blank yet full of fear, she struggled to get her breathing under control. She sounded like she was starting having a panic attack. "Commander?" He asked when her breathing continued to elevate, though she tried harder to get her breathing under control.

"I'm fine." She forced through pants.  
"No you're not." He said quickly undoing her restraints. She brought her hands in front of her and her breathing slowly evened out.

"I'm sorry Lieutenant." She said shaking her head. He thought she was going to make a break for it but she simply said. "Could I please have my hands in front of me?" That took him by surprise

"Ugh sure." He said and re-clasped her hands together in front of her.

"Thank you." She said, her breathing was alright this time, her face was a blank slate. He had been briefed to give her adjustments if she requested them, within reason, thought they hadn't said why. But after that he understood.

"Bad memory" She said trying to justify her behavior.

"You don't need to explain to me ma'am." He said as they walked toward the Normandy.

"Umm." He started to ask her something but then decided against it.

"If you have something to say spit it out." Her voice was bland.

"Did…did you really destroy an entire star system?" He couldn't believe this woman in from of him was capable for such a thing.

"Yes, it had to be done." She sounded like machine.

"That's…well.. If you say so." Regardless if she was under arrest he wasn't about to argue with someone who out ranked him.

* * *

_**Aye dios mio**__- Oh my God_

_**esta mujer es una dios**__a- This woman is a goddess_

**_hermosa _**_- Beautiful_

**_querida _**_- sweetheart/ darling_

**_Qué es esto -_**_What's this_

**_Eso es caliente _**_- That's Hot_

**___Maldita sea _**___- damn it_


	22. Passion's Quiet Rage

** A/N: **OK So i did all the damn digging i could but still couldn't find the answer to what i was looking for. so for simply my stories purpose it made since to me that the Alliance Special Warfare Center And School (where Kaidan is a teacher) is located At alliance HQ in Vancouver. Because hell if its considered The Headquarters why wouldn't it be there? Also I would imagine that Kaidan's teaching is a two part kind of deal part one would be in a class room while the second half would be in field training.

If you have ever played the online game and either seen or played with the N7 Fury Character, i imagine Aela would have moves similar to that character's doge move as well as all asari characters biotic glide thingy. so keep that in mind from here on out.

I reference in this chapter that she likes to meditate which is something i had meant to be a recurring theme throughout the story but i severely dropped the ball on that one. Also i picture Shepard being on her floor with seldom few others i don't know why that's just how i pictured it.

I think that's everything song i was rocking to this chapter was Burn Back the Sun by Decyfer Down. Give it a listen if you like the words just so elegantly brought out the feels i was going for. Enjoy

* * *

Kaidan couldn't believe what he was hearing on the news. Shepard was being held at the detention center here in Vancouver. Well that part was somewhat believable, after her involvement with Cerberus, what he couldn't believe were the charges. _There is just no way she destroyed an entire star system._He thought a moment about her impressive, though intimidating display of biotics and recalled her temper. _At least not without a damn good reason. _He instantly thought about going to visit her but then it turned into an inner argument. _She never responded to me maybe she doesn't want to talk to me. Hell after what I said on Horizon I can't blame her. And I can't expect her to forgive me after that half assed apology over an email._ He made up his mind he would go see her if only to give her a genuine apology. When he found time of course, His students came first.

* * *

Vega wasn't sure how he felt about his new orders. He had basically been reassigned as Shepard's babysitter, which was a waste since she never really asked to go anywhere other than the balcony for a smoke. It had been a few weeks since she turned herself over. Every so often he would drag her down to the gardens for a smoke just to get her out of the damn building. She had been asking to go there at least once a day to meditate recently. He pressed the buzzer on her door to let her know he was coming in. She was sitting on her bed looking out the window. She looked over at him and for a moment he saw something in her eyes. Like she had been hoping for someone specifically to walk through that door, or she had snapped out of a daydream.

"Ready to go for walk, Lola?" He asked. He decided in that moment he liked being her personal chaperon since it gave them time to get to know each other. They already were close enough that he had started calling her Lola permanently and she didn't slap him. She shrugged and threw her legs over the bed and laced her boots. Even with all the lack of exorcise she seemed to be getting thinner. It was subtle but there.

"Taking me to the gardens again." She poked fun at him.

"No I thought we'd go somewhere special." She eyed him curiously

"Like?" She asked.  
"That's a surprise. But you might want to change" He said and handed her a familiar black jumpsuit

"I don't like surprises they usually involve me being shot at."

"I think you'll like this one." She sighed and took the jumpsuit into the bathroom with her to change. When she had finished she followed him out into the hall. They walked in silence for a while. It had taken him a while to get use to the fact that she just wasn't a talker, but he learned that it was just her way. He had flat out asked her why she hated him once. He remembered how confused she looked. _'I don't'_ She had said to which he asked why they hardly spoke then. _'I don't speak unless I have something to say that's all'_ When he asked about their flirting at the bar she had informed him that she was only messing with him because she assumed he was messing with her.

"You're not tricking me into seeing Dr. Barrows again right? Because she and I have had mandatory meetings since I was in the ascension program I don't need to be tricked into seeing her." He laughed.

"No, Lola, but duly noted." They took the elevator at the end of the hall down 4 levels and out of the building, walking quite a ways from the detention center and down a few sidewalks then into another building. Vega opened the door to a large room and flipped the lights on to reveal one of the old N7 terrain courses. It was specifically fitted for training recruits to find a way out if they had fallen or needed to climb up a cliff side. Aela looked at him in confusion.

"I thought you might want to get some exercise instead of sitting in that stuffy room all day. And there's this," He pulled something out of his pocket but clenched it tight in his fist. "Before I give it too you I need you to know I am trusting you with this so please don't betray me, and return it when you are done." He said sounding like a parent. He opened his hand to reveal a biotic amp. Her eyes light up at the thought.

"Are you sure?" She asked apprehensively

"Yea like I said I trust you. I was able to get it on loan as well as this place for two hours. I convince my superiors that you needed to keep your skill up in case of an emergency. I mean come on, they wouldn't want one of their best operatives going soft would they?" He teased.

"Thank you, James" She said taking the amp out of his hand and placing it at the base of her skull. "Ooo. Wow it's been a while." She said as her body surged with dark energy. She felt her biotics flare bright and James was taken off guard for a moment and he backed away from her a few steps.

"Sorry it's just been a while." She reassured taking control.

"Well, have at it but remember I'm trusting you not to screw me over." She gave him a beaming smile he had never seen before, and then she disappeared in a puff of biotic energy and reappeared right in front of him. She was close enough for him to see the honey flecks surrounding her pupil, and a light in her eyes he hadn't seen since they night they met on omega. She flashed away in a biotic charge across the room. He watched her maneuver the course effortlessly mixing rock climbing skills, biotics, and some form of acrobatics to jump, pull, teleport and climb her way around the room. He stood by the door leaning against the wall, just watching her with a smile on his face. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to see a black haired man, whose sides had started to turn a salt and pepper color, just watching her from the doorway with a knowing smile on his face.

"Can I help you, sir?" Vega asked. The man snapped his whisky brown eyes over to James in surprise.

"Sorry I didn't see you there. I was just passing by on a way to another training course and thought I'd look in." Kaidan's eye watched as Aela danced around the course. _This is her natural element._He thought. "It's a shame you don't get to see her in her full glory." He said and retreated from the room before Vega could question him. _That was weird_. Vega thought but shook the strange feeling away.

* * *

Kaidan paced around his class room unsure of what to do. Seeing Aela in that obstacle course brought back so many memories of all they had been through. How many time she had saved his ass in combat and vise versa. He looked at his calendar _January 11__th__._ It read. Her birthday, he felt like he should do something for her, but he wasn't sure he was ready to talk to her. It was 20:55 if he was going to do something he better do it. _Merde_ . He crabbed his thick jacket and made his way to the detention center.

* * *

The elevator dinging on her floor and he almost couldn't get off the lift. He pushed himself through the doors at the last minute before they closed and walked with purpose down the hallways. _This place is a nightmare_. He thought trying to navigate the maze. Truly it wasn't that difficult to find your way around he was just nervous as hell. There was nobody around, which was odd, and the lights were half off.

"Vega just go get it, I'm not going to go anywhere. You already trusted me with an amp the other day why can't you go down the hall to get a box?" He heard her silky voice from the Hallway to his left ahead of him. He turned the corner and saw the muscular soldier from the other day leave the second to last room on the left, walking away and making a right down another hall muttering something to himself in Spanish. Kaidan's heart pounded harder in his chest with every footstep he took closer to her door. _What am I even going to say to her? I'm sorry for being an ass. I still love you. Please dear god, take me back. _But nothing he thought of would prepare him for what he saw through that door frame.

Aela stood in front of him, on a chair attention drawn to what must be a cubby space above the door. Her t-shirt was cropped and with her arms raised it revealed a very noticeable rib cage. She had definitely lost weight since the last time he saw her on the citadel. He stood there unsure of what to do, until he noticed something on her ribs that hadn't been there before. A new tattoo spanned under her left breast and around to her side, right by her heart. He walked toward her trying to see what is said. His eyes caught on the dog tags that hung around her neck for a moment. _His_ old Dog tags from before the Normandy crash.

"See James I told you I wouldn't go anywhere." She said thinking he was the guard. He reached his right hand out and grazed her satin soft red skin. His thumb glided over the words on her ribs, words that he would never forget '_I'll never leave you behind.'_ It said. She grabbed his wrist and twisted it almost breaking it forcing him to his knees in front of her. His eyes met hers, at first filled with anger thinking it was the guard who had touched her, Then confusion at what he was doing there, And then something else. Something he hadn't seen in person in years. Something he only saw in his dreams. Her walls were down and he saw _her _again. Really, truly, undeniably her. All of her, all the pain she had confided in him about her time spent with Calvin, the happiness she had left for him in the greybox, everything. She closed her eyes and he watched her start to turn off again like she did on Horizon.

"No! No, no, no, no don't go!" He begged. "Aela, don't go" He head the heavy footsteps of her guard running back to her room.

"Sir, you are not allowed to be here, you need to leave." Vega's voice was commanding. She let go of his wrist and slowly opened her cold dead eyes. His heart sank deeper than he thought it could.

"I'm not going to ask you again." Vega said removing his pistol and raising it. Kaidan got to his feet and backed away with hands up to show he meant no harm.

"Happy Birthday, Aela." His voice chocked out as moisture started to pool at his eyes. He dropped his hands and his head as he passed through the door and turned right disappearing form her sight. Vega returned his pistol to its holster, and approached her cautiously.

"Are you alright, Lola? He didn't hurt you or anything did he?" She stood like a statue unmoving her face blank and eyes emotionless. He had never seen her cold like this before. Then ever so gently, a tear rolled down her cheek fallowed by another until silent streams made their way down her face.


	23. Heart of stone

**A/N**: song of the Chapter Heart of Stone by Iko I was going in a different direction with this chapter but this just fit it so much better.

**there is a small mention of the abuse Aela went through nothing ground breaking but i'm giving fair warning**

Enjoy.

* * *

Aela walked around Dr. Barrow's office, not quite sure where she wanted to start.

"I heard you had a visitor last week?" the older woman beat her to the punch. Aela slowly nodded her head in agreement playing that night over in her mind. She hadn't expected to see Kaidan. If ever again.

"I heard it was a gentlemen visitor. Would it be safe for me to assume it was _him?"_ Dr. Barrow's asked. Aela had talked about her relationship with Kaidan but never mentioned his name or how they met or anything that would implicate them.

"It was." Aela said stopping to look at all the certificates and degrees on the wall.

"And what was that like seeing him after the hurtful things the said to you?" Aela thought for a while. She herself wasn't sure. She was angry, confused…sad

"I turned off." She admitted eliciting an unhappy sigh from Dr. Barrows.

"Shepard, we have talked about this, it's not healthy to push your emotions away like that, Regardless if it's a defense mechanism or not. Your 'turning off' is the reason you still have to see me. Otherwise you will never deal with these emotions."

"Is it really so bad not to deal with it?" She rarely didn't want to talk things like this out with Dr. Barrows but this was just, different.

"Yes. Shepard, look at yourself. You've lost a lot of weight, my dear. This is an emotional illness you are causing yourself, and it's effecting your physical health."  
"No its not, I'm perfectly healthy." She said, the irony was she had a cold.

"Shepard, I can see you're rib cage." Aela sighed her annoyance.  
"I just haven't been hungry." She said hanging her head and fidgeting with her nails.

"I understand that. But you're withering away. So help me god I will order Lieutenant Vega to hold you down while I shove food down your throat if you don't start eating soon." Though it was a professional meeting, Dr. Barrows would joke from time to time to help make Aela more comfortable

"OK. You made your point. I will make sure to eat more." She said hoping that would be the end of it.

"But you know that's only half the problem thought." The doctor said returning to her professional tone. Aela paced the room a few times gathering her thoughts. She walked over to the window and stared out at the people rushing by below.

"It was hard. Seeing him." She said softy. "I mean he just left me out there. He just…." Her anger started to bubble as she recalled their fight on Horizon.

"Let it out." Barrow encouraged  
"I told him everything. Everything! I opened up to him and he just left me like I never mattered." She said with soft sobs unable to contain the tears any longer. "He just left me when I needed him. And then he just shows up on my birthday adding insult to injury" Her voice was becoming angry again as she whipped the tears away from her face. Dr. Barrow's studied her body language for a moment

"Maybe he did know how much you needed him." She suggested. Aela cracked her neck regaining composure.

"Maybe….it doesn't matter now." She shook her head and sat down across from Dr. Barrows

"I know it hurts, but this is good thing. You were able to trust someone with some of your most painful truths and he accepted them. Don't be sad that it's over now; be happy that it was there." The older woman said placing a sympathetic hand on Aela's for arm. Aela had come to trust Dr. Barrow over the years and therefor allowed the older woman to touch her. Dr. Barrows had taken the time to learn how to touch her in a way she accepted.

"Can we talk about something else please?" Aela asked.

"Of course," The older woman agreed and retracted her hand. "Have you had any flash backs since your arrest? Other than the one you experienced while your hands where being restrained"

* * *

Aela had just taken a refreshing shower and was drying her hair in the towel when she heard the buzzer on her door. Vega walked in and saw Shepard bent over in her shorts and bra, shaking her hair out of the towel. She snapped her head back up throwing her wet hair behind her as she stood. She had gained some weight back since her talk with Dr. Barrows. It had been almost two months and she was up to 118lbs which was much progress from the 102lbs she had been.

"Hey, James." She said sweeping her brush though her hair.

"Dios, Lola what happened?" He asked looking over the faded scars on her back. Regardless if she was in her underwear or not he didn't notice his eyes were fixed on the long off colored mark that was about an inch thick spanning from her left shoulder near her neck down to her right rib cage. There were only a few marks as thick as that one on her, but multiple smaller thin lines slashed across her lower back, ribs, and hips. He could tell the thinner ones were from a whip of some sort maybe even a switch. _But what the hell could cause those big ones?_ He walked towards her a few steps and without thinking he reached out and glided his fingertips over the big one. She went ridged under his touch.

"James, please don't touch me." She requested instead of throwing him, which he was grateful for.

"I'm sorry," He said collecting himself and she pulled a white tee shirt down over her head. "What caused those big ones? If you don't mind me asking."

"I do but you already asked so I will answer. It was a lead pipe that had been heated up." She said emotionlessly walking into the bathroom to hang her towel up and put her brush away

"Aye dios mio." He breathed in disgust

"Don't just, don't talk about it. What's up?" She asked changing the subject. He shook his head remembering why he was there but knew he wouldn't soon forget what he saw.

"Right, I came to inform you I have successfully arranged for you to be springed Saturday night if you're interested." She eyed him suspiciously

"What's the catch?" She asked taking the bait.

"Well, it will only be for four hours from 19:00 to 23:00 and you have to wear a dress." He said watching her reaction closely. She tsked and said.

"The Alliance ball really?" Walking across the room, past him to her drawers.

"Come on Lola, It'll be fun." His dark green eyes followed her.

"I Doubt that. How did you even arrange it?" she said putting some laundry away.

"Well I told them I'd be with you the whole time." It would be a lie if he said he hadn't worked his ass off to make sure she was his date. It would also be a lie for him to say he hadn't started to develop feelings for this beautiful woman. Though he wasn't sure she felt the same. "Come on Lola," He purred "You've been in here for almost four months I'm sure you could use a break to socialize with someone other than me."

"Or Corporal Martin." She teased about the other guard who took his place on his days off as she closed the drawers. She shook her head in frustration and turned to him. "I don't wear dresses. Hell I don't even own one." He smiled hoping that was her only excuse for not going.

"I'll take care of that." He said almost a little too eagerly, eyes never leaving her, anxiously awaiting her response. She gave a defeated sigh.

"Fine." She said slumping down on the bed. He had to stifle his joy.

"It'll be fun Lola I promise."

"Ugh huh, Sure. Fair warning I don't dance." She said looking up at him from the bed. _I wish she would let me touch her._

"That's fine." He chuckled lightly. "Goodnight Lola," He said backing out of the room. "Oh and I have tomorrow off, sorry." He reminded just outside the door before it closed.

"Ughhh." She groaned as the door closed and locked.

* * *

She had no idea how he pulled it off but he did. He found a dress that fit her perfectly and wasn't too poofy or pink or long. It was Floor length yes, but she wasn't tripping over it. The soft desert fawn color contrasted well against her skin, and it hugged her body but wasn't too tight and the bottom half flowed lightly in breeze. She left her hair down because all up-dos looked strange with her shaved lower skull. She kept her make up lite. A neutral shade for her lid and some eyeliner, and mascara, a shade of lipstick that was slightly darker than her own lip color and blush that was just off of her skin color, which she felt was a lot since she hardly ever wore make up. The hotel garden area which this event was taking place at, was beautiful and huge, you could fit another hotel inside of this area it was so large. There was a bar and buffet area to the left, the dance floor in the middle and seating scattered around. The weather was nice for end of March. She stood on a balcony type area looking over the city below, as the soft breezed played with her dress.

"You look beautiful." Vega said leaning against the stone railing of the balcony as he handed her a glass of champagne. She gave a soft smile

"You don't look bad yourself." She said playfully. In truth he looked good in his dress blues. But she didn't want his ego to be any bigger than it already was.

"Oh please, you know I look damn good." _Well so much for the ego_. She rolled her eyes, sipping her drink. She scanned the crowed and watched as people danced and laughed. She looked at the floor when people passed by throwing her sideways glances and murmuring. She couldn't hear what they said but was pretty damn sure she didn't need to, to know what they were saying. Vega shot them a look to kill and they shut up.

"Are you at least enjoying yourself?" He asked watching her. She gave a smile and looked up to him.

"Yea. You were right it's nice to get out, even for a little while." Vega smiled. She watched the people dancing and remembered how much she had loved taking ballet in school. God knows she couldn't dance to anything that wasn't Lyrical, Contemporary, or a waltz. But she missed how it felt. So in control yet lite and weightless.

"You want to dance?" James asked. She shot him a look that said she thought he was joking.

"I can't dance." She laughed. The sound was music to his ears. She had a nice laugh, soft and melodious.

"No, but I seem to recall" She heard a familiar voice behind her and snapped around to see Kaidan in his dress blues. "You were one hell of a ballroom dancer." _Damn he looks good._ She couldn't stop herself from checking him out. She looked at the floor and blushed slightly. _All this time and he still makes me feel like this?_ Vega saw her blush and jealousy pooled in him. He looked over at the man and instantly recognized him. He took a quick look at Kaidan's rank and wanted to kick himself _I pulled a gun on a Major. mierda. _She didn't seem to notice his rank.

"Would you like to dance?" Kaidan asked as the song changed to a slow one. He held his left hand out for her to take it. _Oh this should be rich. Major don't know she don't let anyone touch her. _Vega was utterly confused when she placed her hand gently in his and they walked to dance floor. He watched as they took their place and the major placed his hand gently on her lower back, as she came in close almost into an embrace. Her left hand airily placed on his shoulder. Aela was swept up in the feeling of Kaidan's arm around her waist, and the feel of his strong but gentle hand holding hers. _I miss this_. She lowered her head to his shoulder and felt his cheek on the back of her head. Time stood still for her as they moved across the dance floor feeling weightless. His cologne filled her nose; it was light, clean like fresh rain. It was _his_ smell. One she hadn't realized she hadn't forgotten until now. She wanted to melt away into this moment forever.

"Nayeli." She breathed into his shoulder so softly she wasn't sure she even said it. And she meant it. She still loved him, through everything. He would always be the only man on her heart. The song ended and she became acutely aware of her surroundings, of the people who had stopped to watch them. She pulled away from Kaidan quickly and retreated to the balcony without even giving him a backwards glance.

"Aela?" He called after her in confusion, as she walked briskly away. He exited the dance floor and made his way toward that bar. He wanted to go after her but wasn't sure it was a good idea. He wasn't even going to ask her to dance at first but he couldn't stop himself. He had tried really hard not to think of her since her birthday with no success. But at least his students kept him busy enough to distract him most of the time. _She looks better than she did on her birthday. _He thought.

"Can we go please?" she stated more then asked as she breezed by Vega headed for the stairs.  
"Lola what's wrong?" He had to half chase her. She was walking fast, down the stairs and into the parking lot here she stopped. "Hey! What happened? What's the matter?"

"Nothing" She said shaking her head and wishing she had a cigarette on her. As if reading her mind, Vega pulled out a cigarette and her lighter from his pocket and handed them to her.

"Thank you." She said taking them from his hand and placed the cigarette between her lips. She closed her eyes and inhaled the chemicals sharply as if they were a soothing breath. James watched her for a few moments and asked.

"Do you want to talk about it?" to which she fervently shook her head no. "Look Lola, you can talk to me you know that." She didn't ignore him but she didn't respond either, so he continued. "You seemed like you were having fun. Did he say something or do something to you?"

"No." She said shortly

"Then What?"

"Nothing James, I just can't." She sighed in frustration

"Can't what?" His eyes searched her for an answer, or a clue, or anything to explain why she was this.

"I can't talk about_ him_." He knew. Just by the way she had said_ him_. They had a history. Vega looked around unsure of what to say or do.

"So you two …..huh?" _what chance do I have against him?_ _ Hell she won't even let me brush a hair off her arm. But she let him hold her._"Have I ever even had a chance?" He found himself asking her before he could think about the words he just spoke. She opened her eyes wide and looked at him stunned. _Hell you didn't even cross her mind _He though when he saw her expression.

"What?" She asked in confusion.

"Nothing let's just go." He felt so stupid for thinking she could ever be interested in him.

"James what did you mean?" She pried. _Why can't she just let this go like she makes me do for her._

"Nothing alright?" He said walking past her

"James."  
"What?!" He shouted turning harshly toward her. He felt bad instantly for yelling at her. "Sorry. I didn't mean to yell." His green eyes matching her hazel.

"You didn't do anything wrong." She said putting her cigarette out on the ground.

"I just feel so stupid." He shook his head looking at the ground  
"And I'm a genius?" She snorted "You're not stupid James. You feel what you feel."

"Hmm yea. But you don't feel it back." She lowered her eyes to the ground. She couldn't say that she did.

"Yea." He sighed. "Let get out of here." He said turning around and walking to the terminal to call a cab.

* * *

**_mierda_**_ -Fuck (according to google translate)_


	24. What am I to you?

**A/N: **I wanted to have a more important scene with Siegfried but nothing i wrote came out right and this chapter just flowed out so well. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Aela stood on the balcony smoking like a chimney in the gentle spring night, staring at a letter Vega had given her earlier that day. She couldn't believe what it read._ How could this even be possible?_ She thought as she reread the contents again. The letter was a hand written piece of chicken shit trash from her father. _What kind of persons sends their long lost daughter a letter instead of coming to see them? _

The letter read:

_Aela, _

_I have tried many times to contact you or even visit since I heard you were alive. I have lost you once without getting the chance to contact you and I'm not doing it again. My name is Siegfried Riker and I am your father. You were taken from me after your mother died and hidden for your protection. Though there no longer is a threat for us knowing each other, I wasn't sure what I would say to you. I am a coward. And I'm sure this letter is cowardly as well but I am unable to visit at this time. Alliance has me constantly on missions. I will try to visit as soon as possible. I hope you will be willing to see me when I do._

_Know that I have always loved you, Aela. From the first time I held you. You have always been nuttah. I'm sorry I haven't been around, and I'm sorry I'm telling you this in a letter. I hope one day you will forgive me. _

_Naylei._

_-Siegfried._

_This is a joke right?_ _Who the fuck would think this is funny? Maybe James was trying to piss me off. No he wouldn't do that. Maybe Connor is trying to get revenge or something for me rejection me._

"What are you reading?" Kaidan's voice said from behind her. Aela looked over her left shoulder at him then through the glass at the night guard snoring in a corner. She gave a scrutinizing look at the guard and shook her head and resumed her position against the balcony railing. _What the hell is the point of a night guard when all he does is sleep?_ She took a long drag of her cigarette and answered;

"A letter." Kaidan walked over and took the spot next to hear. Normally she would probably have avoided him but after reading the letter she needed some company.

"From anyone in particular?" He asked. She put her cigarette out on the letter and it caught up in flames quickly as she placed it in the ashtray on top of the trash can.

"Someone's just fucking with me that's all" she said bitterly and was about to lite another cigarette but he snatched it out of her mouth and tossed over the side. She didn't even react, just watched the cigarette fall through the air, with her lips pursed.

"I should have expected that." She said which caused a chuckled from him.

"Yea, you should have." He teased. He looked over at her and just drank in her beauty before continuing. "You looked beautiful at the Ball by the way." It had been almost a month since but he didn't get a chance to tell her then.

"Thanks." She said still staring into the distance of the city lights.

"I wanted to apologize, for Horizon. I mean I know I sent that email but that wasn't good enough. You deserved a real apology face to face. That's why I came to see you on your birthday but.." His voice trailed off recalling that night.

"It's fine. And thank you." She turned towards his. "That means a lot to me." And it did. _He _meant a lot to her. He lifted his right hand to her cheek and traced the three small scars under her left eye that she had received from the collector base fight after a collector had gotten a little too close and tried to grab her. It missed and cut her with whatever those were, claws maybe?

"You've gotten some new scars." He said. He glided his hand down her cheek and his thumb traced the scar on her lips. "Some not so new." He said softly. She smiled slightly against his hand. She looked into his whisky brown eyes staring intensely at her lips.

"Yea. Saving the galaxy is apparently dangerous work." She said sarcastically.

"Hmh . Yea." He said dropping his hand back to his side and looking to his left over at the city. _Damn it_. She had been hoping he would kiss her_. Great Spirit, he is handsome._ She focused for a moment on his sideburns and ran her fingertips through is hair.

"What happened here?" She teased at the color difference of the soft grey against his natural thick black waves.

"I'm going to chalk that up to you." He teased back, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of her slender fingers in his hair again. She noticed the soft smile on his lips.

"Me? How? I haven't been around for 2 years." The smile faded.

"Yea. No one knows that more than me." He said lowly. She had a feeling she should remember something, but couldn't. It was starting to annoy her. She dropped her hand and pulled her lower lip into her mouth chewing lightly on it and looked over to the city. His eyes opened when he felt her fingers leave his hair, he looked over at her. He moved closer to her and placed his right hand under her chin and tugged her lowed lip out of her mouth with his thumb.

"You need to stop doing that." He breathed starting at the purple mark that she almost perpetually had on the center lip from chewing on it. His thumb airily glided over the mark, which made it tingle and she pulled her lip back with her teeth 'scratching' it. He pulled her lip out again and sighed;

"I said stop it." As he placed his lips on hers. Her lips were even softer then he remembered them. His hand glided down her neck as she returned the kiss. His left arm slid around her waist and her arms found their way up his sides and held on to his lower shoulder blades. She felt a spark of desire she hadn't in a long time as her hands felt the defined muscles of his back through his shirt. Their lips slowly released but he kept his eyes closed as their foreheads touched. _This, This is right. This is how it's supposed to be._ She though, as she stared at the face of the man she loved. This moment that she had longed for since she saw him on Horizon, and it was perfect. All felt right in the world again. This was where she belonged, in his arms. Her heart sank as he released her and moved back ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry." He said shaking his head his eyes closed. "I don't know …..(sigh). I don't know how to feel about ..well ..anything anymore." He turned his head to the city refusing to look at her. His mind swam in confusion. _She looks like her, sounds like her, feels like her, but what if Cerberus is just using her. Like a sleeper cell waiting for an activation word or something._ The smallest piece of doubt still nagged at him and he couldn't figure out why. _You're afraid. _A voice in his head whispered. _You're afraid it is her and if you admit that you still love her and still want her she will just disappear again. _

"I have to go." He said and retread from the balcony still not looking at her. She said nothing just watched him go. He pushed the glass door open and stopped to look at the snoring guard.

"Wake up Corporal." Kaidan chastised. The poor kid almost pissed himself as he regained consciousness.

"Sorry sir." He said saluting. "It won't happen again Major." He said taking note of Kaidan's rank praying to god he didn't get paper work.

"It better not." Kaidan said coldly and walked towards the elevator.

Aela was still outside and had only seen the spectacle. She shook her head and fished out another cigarette.

* * *

**Nuttah**- My heart


	25. Hell Hath No fury

**A/N:** Ok so in a perfect world My shep's Abilities list would look like this:  
dark channel, flare, annihilation field, throw, shockwave, Nova, and biotic charge. As well as have that awesome green Lantern style of fighting, and the combat skill i.e. Biotic kicks ,punchs ect. And guess what fanfic is all about a perfect world so... lol.

anndd yea...idk what else i need to inform of other then keep in mind the N7 Fury form the Online play in mind and enjoy :)

* * *

Kaidan sat in the shuttle as they descended onto mars, staring at Aela in her Medium armor as she stood back to him talking over the comm. Anderson had her things moved to the Normandy when the reports of activity had come in. He didn't care for the way the lieutenant looked at her. _You're gonna have to get over it. _He mentally punished himself. _Even married couples say till death do us part and she died. _Marriage. He absent mindedly pated his chest plate with is left hand feeling his dog tags and a familiar metal circle he had hung on his tags. Aela moved back in front of the shuttle door and he stood and took his place beside her. The tension couldn't be cut with a chainsaw it was so thick. Though, they carried on as if it were business as usually but all the awkwardness was still there as they made their way down toward the Archives.

_Thank the Great Spirit something to beat on._ She thought as they took place behind cover after seeing the Cerberus troops. She pulled a metal ball that looked like a grenade from her belt and charged it with her biotics and threw it. It exploded sending several troops flying. She launched a biotic Flare at the remaining troops standing and they collapsed in a purple blue black smoke. Vega whistled his impressment as she continued on ahead.

"Wasn't that Cerberus?" He asked.

"Looks like." She responded.

"What they're doing here." Kaidan wondered aloud.

"Good question." Aela agreed.

"You mean you don't know?" Kaidan asked sounding like more of an asshole then he intended too.

"I'm not with them anymore Major, if that's what you're asking."  
"It's not. But you have to admit it's a little…..convent."

"Watch out!" Vega called as Shepard turned the corner to find more Cerberus troops. She made sweeping movement with her arm and dark purple and black energy surrounded her like smoke and infected the nearby troops draining their life, then biotically teleported through a tank and came out the other side for cover.  
"What was that?" Vega asked after finishing off the last troop.

"Annihilation field." She said and detonated the filed around her then walked into the elevator.

"Shepard I need a straight answer." Kaidan finally broke as the door shut and the elevator started making its way up.

"About?" She asked turning around to face him.

"Do you know anything about why Cerberus is here?" He pressed

"Ugh Kaidan" She sighed in frustration and dropped her head back.  
"No, no, no Don't Kaidan me this is business" He said trying to make it sound like he meant it.

"The Hell makes you think I know anything." She snipped.

"You worked for them how am I not supposed to think that."  
"I didn't work for them I used them to take down the collector base that's it."  
"There's more to it than that, they rebuilt you from the ground up, gave you a ship and resources" He said sounding less professional then he meant to.

"For it being business, you sound like it's awfully personal. Look I haven't had jack shit to do with them since I destroyed the collector base and I don't know why the hell they're here." She said with her icy tone.

"Shepard's been under constant surveillance since she came back to earth. There is no way they communicated since." James chimed into the awkwardness of this conversation trying to let them know he was there.  
"Sorry Shepard I just-"Kaidan started but the sound of the pressurization cut him off. They took off their helmets. Shepard shot him a damning look and said.

"Look you don't trust Cerberus, fine by me, but I'm done explaining myself to you on your high horse." Kaidan sighed his frustration and rubbed his head. _Damn it. This is not how I mean this to go._

"Are we clear?" She said coldly without turning to look at him as she stepped off the elevator.  
"Perfectly. I didn't mean to-"He was about to explain but he was cut off by the sound of something in the air ducts. They took to cover as something or someone kicked the vent out and jumped down. He heard gun shots then Shepard say.

"Liara?"

* * *

"KEEP YOUR BARRIERS UP ALEKNO!" Shepard chastised as a shot grazed his left arm just above his elbow._ Is she seriously yelling at me?_ He had gotten used to being the one reminding recruits about their barriers. She threw the trooper across the room so hard he popped all over the wall. He returned to cover and applied medi-gel to the wound, a trooper made its way around the corner flanking him on his left. She appeared behind the trooper in a clouded of biotic energy and snapped his neck.

"Thanks." He breathed. She didn't say anything just hurled a shock wave passed him at the next wave of troops approaching them.

"Clear!" Liara called from the other side of the room and they continued towards their goal.

"Are you ok?" she asked with her back to him. She kept herself cold but he could hear the smallest bit of concern in her voice.

"Yeah, just a flesh wound." He said fallowing behind her into the door.

* * *

Kaidan knew he was screwed as soon as that damn mech got its hands on him. She picked him up like a rag doll.

"Orders?" She requested to the Illusive man he assumed. He barely heard the response '_dispose of him'. _He saw his life flash before his eye and felt as if he were moving in slow motion as the mech spun them around. His eyes flashed over to Aela and he saw that rage in her eyes again as her biotics flared bright around her. The deep purple and black energy hung around her like mist and the last thing he heard before everything went black was her voice screaming his name. _KAIDAN!_

Vega was shocked when he saw Shepard's full force of power in use as the mech turned toward her. She made a movement as if lifting up a toy and the mech was lifted off its feet and suspended midair surrounded by biotic energy as if being held in Shepard's hand. He heard the sound of metal straining.

"SHEPARD WE NEED THE DATA!" Liara reminded. Shepard seemed to remember herself for a moment and then slammed the mech into the ground with a motion of her arm. The mech sputtered but he was sure that wasn't with full force, as she ran over to the Major. Her biotics still surrounding her like and aura of demonic smoke, but slowly fading.

"Grab that thing." She growled and lifted Kaidan to her shoulders.

* * *

Aela placed Kaidan gently on a bed in med-bay. _God fucking damn it Kaidan why you?! _ She thought stating at his bruised face. Liara looked at her knowing nothing it the world mattered to the Native woman at this moment; it was as if there wasn't a galaxy at all around her at all. The Asari bent to catch Aela's line of site.

"Kaidan needs medical attention. We have to leave the Sol system." Aela snapped out of the trance long enough to call Joker over the comm. and set a course for the citadel, as she unclasped Kaidan's armor and chucked it aimlessly across the room.

"Aye, watch it." Vega protested as a shoulder plate smacked him. She unzipped Kaidan's under suit ignoring everyone else, and revealed his chest. She closed her eyes and took a calming breath as she placed her hand on his chest gently over his heart. Biotic energy started to pulse over Kaidan's body like purple blue waves rippling in a lake.

"What are you doing?" Vega asked.

"Sparking his vitals." She said without breaking concentration. "My tribe believed we could transfer our own life force into another person given enough practice. I was taught some but couldn't full achieve the proper flow of energy till I got my biotics."

"Admiral Hackett is on the Vid Comm for you in the war room." EDI's Voice called. Aela had to force herself away from his side.

* * *

Aela made her way down to the Hospital again after her meeting with the council and planted herself firmly at Kaidan's side. She had till the next morning before they could make their way to Menae and she wasn't leaving till she had to. She walked over to him and placed her hand back over his heart and resumed the transfer of energy.

"Please don't die." She whispered.

"Commander Shepard?" A female voice said softly from behind her. She would recognize that voice anywhere.

"Dr. Michele." She said and you could hear in her voice that she was happy to know it was her. She released again reluctantly and turned toward the doctor.

"What were you doing?" Chloe questioned softly, remembering the closeness of the two. Aela admitted to what she had been doing with some embarrassment. Knowing she would be perceived as superstitious.

"That's alright Commander, everyone has their own way of expressing hope. The religious pray, some make throw salt over their shoulder, you do this." She gave her a kind smile and checked his vitals.

"mmm that's strange. It seems there may be some merit to what you were doing. His heart beat is significantly stronger than it was. I was already hopeful for his recovery but now I am sure of it." Aela sat down in the chair next to his bed feeling slightly relieved but still a little foolish.

"You know Commander; visiting hours are officially over but if anyone asks ill just say you pulled Spectre authority." She said kindly, leaving the room.

"Thank you, Dr. Michele." Aela said softly.

* * *

Kaidan felt shooting pain in his shoulders and had one HELL of a headache as he regained consciousness. _Oh god if I'm dead this must be hell because I do NOT feel peaceful. _He thought with is eyes still closed. He could hear the beeping of monitor's around him, and felt something in his right hand. _Where am I?_ He struggled to open his eyes and for a moment after they had opened he wasn't sure they were in the darkness of the room. He had to blink a few times before his eyes adjusted to the room. _Ok, I'm in the hospital._ He thought as his eyes scanned the dark room. He looked at the clocks with all the different planet times on the wall before settling on 02:55 Local citadel time. _I'm on the citadel?_ His memory slowly crept up to him, specifically his last memory before now. Aela's wrath burning in her eyes like she had before Ilos. He gingerly lifted his head to look at his hand and wasn't expecting what he saw. Aela passed out, head next to his leg, hand in his, fingers laced. He put is head back down and tightened his grip on her hand lightly. He tried to speak but his throat was dry. He forced himself to swallow to moisten it.

"Aela" he said barely above a whisper. He squeezed her hand a little and heard her breathing change as she woke up. She sat straight up confused for a moment looking around the room. Once she had gained her bearings she looked at the clock then tried to retract her hand but he held on. She didn't know he was awake. She sat motionlessly unsure if he was in fact awake and holding onto her or if he was still asleep.

"Aela" He repeated hoarsely and she knew he was purposefully holding her there.

"Y-yea" She said timidly. She hadn't expected him to wake up anytime soon.

"Could. Could you get me some water please?" He asked.

"Yea sure." She said jumping to her feet and walking out of the room to procure a pitcher and cup. He reluctantly let go over her hand. She returned shortly and helped him sit up to drink his left hand wrapped around hers and the cups as he brought it to his mouth to drink.

"Do you want more?" she asked after he finished the cup and released her hand.

"No. Thank you." He said and cleared his throat. She placed the up on a table by his bed.

"Did the mech live?" He tried to joke closing his eyes as his head throbbed

"Ughh sort of." She sounded embarrassed he could hear it in her voice.

"I'm surprised. Your wrath is usually unrelenting." He tried to sound playful.  
"How would you know? You've never seen my wrath." She said as she returned to the seat next to him. He turned his head slightly to look at her.  
"I've never seen it directed at me and I hope I never do" he admitted studding her as she chewed at the skin around her nails eyes closed in thought.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, not that he wasn't happy to see her; he just wasn't sure where they stood.

"Sorry, I'll leave." She said standing.

"No don't." He said quickly, reaching to grab her. He winced in pain at the sudden movement.

"Relax" She said softly walking over to him and placing her hand on his chest over his heart. He felt a calming wave of energy travel through him as he laid back.

"What are you doing?" He asked as his body became more relaxed.

"Stimulating your muscles. I changed the frequency of the energy, it should feel like sitting in a massage chair but all over."  
"It does." He said lazily, enjoying the feeling. She smiled seeing him with such a peaceful look on his face. Her omni-tool buzzed letting her know she needed to go.

"Sorry." She said releasing him. His eyes opened and looked as her with fear.

"Where are you going?" he looked sad and hurt.

"I have to go to Palaven, I'm sorry. I'll come back as soon as I have time." She said reassuringly, rubbing his chest .

"OK" He sounded like he was about to cry. "Be careful please."

"I will." She said and gave him and gentle kiss on his forehead and retreated from the room. He watched after her for while wishing he could go with her.


	26. Some New Faces

Aela dug through the crates in the shuttle bay looking for her model ships listening to Vega b.s. with….. _Who was he messing with? _She wondered and walked out from a pile of create and looked straight ahead at the newest Normandy member. She walked towards him to inspect the crates near him for her things and he stopped her to introduce himself.

"Lieutenant Steve Cortez, Shuttle pilot. I have news about our supply chains, Commander" He saluted. She stopped and turned towards him.  
"What's the situation with our supply lines?" She asked confused. She had been lost in thought.

"Dios! Straight to business without even a hello? You two need to chill out!" Vega shouted across the shuttle bay shaking his head at them. In truth Aela had forgotten that anyone was around, Cortez had taken her by surprise.

"So you do care, Mr. Vega. Or is that the Cerveza talking again?" Cortez joked.

"You two know each other?" Aela asked.

"Yea Estaban did a stint on Fahl Prime were I was stationed." Vega answered.

"Wait so you're my shuttle pilot but you're setting up procurement lines?" She asked in confusion returning to her conversation with Cortez.

"Well I wasn't assigned as Normandy's pilot. Not much need for one in dry dock. I was overseeing the retrofits of the cargo hold. I'm quite familiar with the operations and maintenance of the UT-47 Kodiak and the M-44 Hammerhead. It made since for me to take over as shuttle pilot after we left Earth, Especially given Mr. Vega's love of midair collisions." He teased.

"Hey to save the –"Vega started but Aela cut him off.

"Quiet, James." She said with a dismissive hand shake.

"I'm also responsible for logistics, making sure the armory and shuttle are properly stocked and maintained." Cortez continued.  
"Keep up the hard work but don't kill yourself." She said walking over to the crates to dig through them.

"Yes, Ma'am" he said returning to his work. She heard the guys conversations continue, while she threw boxes around about and found a few more ships. She sat back and scanned the rest of the of the shuttle bay and saw one last group of crates she hadn't gone through by James' set up, and made a bee line for it. She cracked open the crate and found another model along with a few other things from her cabin from before she handed It over. A few souvenirs from her travels, an inscribed bottle of tequila from Jacob, a hard cover book Kasumi had given her, her framed tags from Liara, prayer beads from Thane, a bracelet Samara have given her, a dud grenade from Zaeed, a piece of Grunts armor the thresher maw had burned off, A .50 cal shell from Garrus, the omni-tool Legion and Tali had worked together to make specifically for her, a pill bottle form Mordin to carry aspirin in from all her hangovers , some earings Miranda have given her, she rubbed her right upper arm over the tattoo jack had given her though she still didn't know what exactly it was, jack had said it was something to let her know they were friends, and Kaidan's picture. She placed the model back in the box and lifted Kaidan's picture studying it for a few minutes.

"-ight Lola?" She didn't catch the question Vega had asked her and looked up at him replacing the picture to the crate.

"What?" She asked remembering where she was and looking over at Vega.

"Esteban asked we were headed, we're going to Palaven right?" He repeated. She placed the lid back on the crate and lifted it.

"Yea, we have to get a Primarch." She said making her way to the elevator.

"Do you need help?" he asked

"Sure." She said and handed him the crate.

"I didn't say I would help." He teased. She turned to look at him then lifted the box biotically and the other ships she collected.

"Then, no." She said playfully, boarding the elevator and selecting the 'loft'.

"You and the Commander seem close." Cortez said after the elevator had closed. He had noted the difference the way Vega spoke to her even if it was slight. She also spoke differently to James than she had to him. She spoke to Vega with familiarity.

"Ugh yea, I guess you could say that. I was her personal guard for the past six months." He said fidgeting with a rifle on his work bench.

"_Just _her guard?" Cortez asked giving him a sideways look over the terminal he was working at. Vega stood straight no longer hunched over his work bench and growled.

"Yes Estaban, _JUST _her guard." Vega was aggravated but it wasn't Cortez' fault he didn't know she had shot him down.

"Ok, ok don't bite my head off." Cortez said playfully and changed the subject.

* * *

Aela made her way to the med bay to check in with Dr. Chakwas after getting settled into her cabin. She couldn't believe someone had let her hamster run wild in engineering.

"How's everything looking?" She asked walking through the door and inspected the room. _Looks the same_. She thought.

"The Alliance restocked the supplies and made a few changes but it's still my med bay." Dr. Chakwas said spinning around in her chair.  
"Can I assume I don't need to pick anything up for you then?" She said sarcastically walking over and leaning against her desk.

"Yes, it is safe to assume that. Now I just need to take a quick look at you." Chakwas said standing.

"Did I ever tell you I don't like doctors?" Aela said dryly.

"Don't be such a grouch." She laughed. Aela hadn't had a mother growing up but between Dr. Barrows and Dr. Chakwas she felt like she did.

"Another tattoo?" Karin asked unhappily taking note of the half sleeve jack had given her. She truly sounded like a mother the way she said it.

"Yea, Jack's parting gift. I still have no idea what the hell it is. She said not to worry about it. So I don't." Aela said inspecting the strange image on her arm. There were skulls, flowers, some weird looking plus signs, and a few stars.  
"Did she at least use a sterile needle?" Karin asked distaste heavy in her voice.  
"Yea she stole one from you." Aela said poking fun, but it was the truth Jack had raided the Med-bay beforehand for needles, and rubbing alcohol.

"Very funny." Karin said un-amused  
"I wasn't kidding." Karin rolled her eyes.  
"You're the picture of health. You're implants have healed nicely." Dr. Chakwas said and returned to her seat.

"Sweet now I can go bug Liara." She said and headed out to the common area.

"Wow" Aela said checking out the remodel of Miranda's old room. Screens and tech all over the walls and floor. "Brought a ton of crap with you huh?"

"I'd be a very silent Broker if I didn't." Liara said buried in a terminal in front of the screens.

"Well I'll come back later then." Aela said retreating from the overwhelming mess.

"See you later." Liara said absent mindedly. Aela headed for the bridge.

* * *

Aela exited the elevator and made her way straight to the Galaxy map.

"You have new messages, Commander." She heard a soft British accent say form her right. Aela turned to see the brown haired girl looking at her nervously from Kelly's old position.

"Who are you?" she asked sounding like a bigger bitch then she had meant to.

"Ugh, I'm Comm. Specialist Samantha Traynor. I was assigned to help with the retrofits." She said nervously.

"Oh ok." Shepard said and turned back to the galaxy map. Traynor looked around awkwardly wondering if Shepard was always this short with people.

"You don't need to tell me when I have messages, Specialist. I don't need a secretary." Aela said not realizing how rude she sounded as the elevator dinged and Vega stepped out.

"Oh ugh, Ok, Ma'am." Samantha stuttered shyly clearly intimidated.

"Dios mio, Lola relax your scarring people." Vega teased walking toward the cockpit. Aela looked up at him as he came around her left side then looked back over toward Traynor.

"Oh, Sorry I didn't mean to sound rude." She apologized

"Holy Hell I need to get a picture. Did Commander Shepard just apologize?" He said playfully stopping in his tracks and looked up at her over the galaxy map.

"I have a recoding if you would like me to send it to you, Lieutenant Vega." EDI's metallic voice said overhead.

"Yes please." He said and returned toward the cockpit.

"Ha ha very funny." Aela said sarcastically.


	27. I Still Want You

The Elevator ding and the doors slid open to the hospital. Aela was about to walk straight back to Kaidan when a familiar voice greeted her.

"Siha," She turned to see Thane sitting in the sunlight to her left.

"Thane." She smiled walking over to him and took the seat next to him. "You still haven't told me what that means." He smiled happy for her company. His eyes settled on her left wrist were she had wrapped the prayer beads he had given her.

"I see you have taken a liking to them" He said deflecting and gesturing to the beads.

"Yea, I also have the bracelet Samara gave me." She said showing her right wrist where the thin silver chain hung. "For good luck, you know?" He gave a knowing nod.

"Were you on your way to visit someone?" He asked.

"Yeah, Kaidan. He was hurt helping me." She said looking at the floor she couldn't help feeling responsible for Kaidan's injuries.

"The Human biotic in intensive care, I saw the imprint of an implant. He seems an honorable sort. Your enemies may try to finish him off here. If he is important to you, then consider him under my protection."

"Thank you Thane. That means a lot." She said looking up at him.

"Of Course Siha." He watched her for a moment then added. "Siha is the name of one of the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath and a tenacious protector." He finally admitted.

"Well I have the wrath part down." She joked. He smiled at her lovingly.

"I'm sure your friend is waiting." He said remembering why she was there.

"Thanks, I'll try to visit when I can." She said and made her way back to Kaidan's room.

* * *

"Hey, I'm glad you came." Kaidan said enthusiastically and she walked through the door.

"Hey, sorry, I came back as soon as I could." She said walking over to him.

"You don't have to apologize to me. I know they probably have you running around like a chicken with its head cut off." He said watching her as she moved the chair closer to him.

"Oh that's an understatement" She said flopping into the chair next to his bed exhausted. She held up a white paper bag and handed it to him.

"Liara told me to give this to you." She said handing it to him. He pulled the paper box out of the bag with some chop sticks.

"Oh god she spoils me." He joked, happily eating the sushi.

"I am so jealous of everyone who can eat that." She said rubbing the back of her neck with her right hand.

"Sorry." He said starting to put everything away. But she stopped him.  
"No it's not your fault eat up. The food here is crap so don't let me stop a good meal." She said cracking her knuckles. She watched him stuff his face and smiled. "I wasn't sure you wanted me to come." She admitted.

"Why wouldn't I?" He asked between bites. She looked around the room making sure she wasn't in some twilight zone. _Have the past six months and change not happened?_ She wondered.

"Well after everything that's happened." she reminded. Kaidan froze for a moment remembering their conversation on mars and looked over at her. _To hell with all this dancing around each other._ He thought.

"Aela, I know things have been weird but I want you around, I always have. I saw my life flash before my eyes on Mars and you weren't in it enough. Looking back on the way I've handled things –"he shook his head. "It was just wasted time I could have spent with you. I don't expect you to just come running back to me. I know I've been an ass. But know that you're the only one I want." She pulled her lower lip into her mouth and started chewing on it while she thought about everything he just said. Everything she had wanted him to say. _Are you seriously even contemplating this? You know you want him._ She looked over at him. His eyes were fixated on her lips. _What are you waiting for dumb ass?_ She mentally yelled at herself. She got up and walked over to him and lowered her face to his about kiss him but stopped less than an inch from his mouth and said.

"I can't kiss you because you have been eating sushi."

"What?" he breathed in confusion and she stood back up right and shrugged.

"Sorry, I'm allergic I don't want my lips to swell." He flopped back down on the hospital bed in frustration. But it quickly evaporated as he realized what she had meant by almost kissing him in the first place.

"So you forgive me?" He asked as she sat back down.  
"Why wouldn't I?" She asked.

"Well, I don't know maybe you moved on found someone else, you know?" He said remembering the way Lieutenant Vega looked at her.

"How could I move on from you?" She said under her breath as if he should know that was impossible. He thought about that and realized she had let him closer to her than anyone else that he knew of. And now he wanted to kick himself harder. How many times had he assumed she didn't want anything to do with him? All this time she probably assumed he didn't want anything to do with her when that wasn't the case. _Alenko stop dwelling and just be happy you have her back. _He reached to hold her hand and she accepted.

"I've always loved you, through the years, through- through everything." He said feeling like he had waiting long enough to tell her.

"I love you too." She said with a warm smile. "through everything, it's always been you Kaidan." She saw his eyes light up.

"I really wish Liara hadn't sent this with you." He said staring into her eyes.

"Why you don't like it?" she asked confused since he had devoured it.

"No I liked it. I just really, _really _want to kiss you." He admitted with a small chuckle. She laughed as well.

"Sorry, _Major_." She added emphasis to his rank.

"Oh right, that." He remembered and explained everything that had happened while she was away.

"So where are you guys headed to next?" He asked.

"Ughh, we're headed to Sur'kesh." She grumbled.

"Damn, right we are." A familiar deep voice rumbled from the door way. They turned to see Wrex standing in the door way. Kaidan was surprisingly happy to see the Krogan. They hadn't been best friends but they were close.

"Wrex, nice to see you again." he said.

"Good to see you too. How are you holding up Alenko?" The Krogan asked.

"I've been better, board as hell in here mostly. What brings you down here?"  
"I actually came to collect Shepard. The Normandy's refueled and ready when you are. No offence Alenko." Wrex said and gave a low laugh playfully taunting Kaidan.

"Yea none taken." He sighed and reluctantly let go of her hand.

"Sorry, duty calls." She sighed, standing and gave him a kiss on the forehead before heading out.


	28. A Shitty day

"Thane!" Aela exclaimed over the Drell as he sat against the door way clutching his stab wound.

"I have time Siha, so get him." He told her. She didn't want to leave one of her best friends behind but she knew she needed to stop that son of a bitch and called Bailey over her omni-tool.

"Thane needs medical attention ASAP and I need to fallow that bastard." She growled

"On it" He called back and she heard the sound of the medical transport nearing and saw the police car he sent for her. They had piled in and were making good time when captain ass face dropped onto their sky car. Aela stared him down and pulled the sky car up to smack him off from one of the passing bridges but the asshole somehow managed to avoid being knocked off. She had no other choice but to pull her pistol and hang out of the car and shoot his ass off them.

"WHOA LOLA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" James said grabbing onto the back of her armor so she didn't fly out as he took control of the moving vehicle.

"Getting this piece of shit off us!" She shouted over the gun fire, but he threw up his barrier and blocked ever shot then jammed his sward into the engine. She growled at him like an animal as another car pulled up next to them and he hopped on leaving them falling out of the sky.

* * *

_Kaidan please don't make me shoot you. _She internally begged as they stood guns pointed at each other with Garrus and James at her back.

"Kaidan you know I wouldn't do this if I wasn't damn certain." She said trying to convince him to stand down. Garrus and James raised their guns backing her and she lowered hers. She couldn't stand to see Kaidan at the other end of her barrel.

"I better not regret this." He said and turned towards Udina. Aela thanked God, the Great Spirit, Liara's Goddess, Thanes many deities and any other cosmic force out there that had moved in her favor.

"Step away from the terminal Udina." Kaidan said raising his pistol to the counselor. Udina pushed the Asari counselor off him when she tried to stop him and raised a gun to shoot her.

"Oh I'm going to enjoy this." Aela said under her breath and pulled the trigger shooting Udina in the heart with a smile on her face. She walked over to him and stood over him as he struggled for air somehow still alive. She lined her pistol up in between his eyes and said.

"I've wanted to do this since you betrayed me three years ago." And pulled the trigger.

* * *

Aela need a drink after the day she had and made her way down to purgatory. First, Lieutenant Bastard Kai Leng got away, then she had a standoff with Kaidan and finally Thane, one of her closest friends, died. She threw her hair up in a ponytail as she walked into the bar and made her way up the first set of stairs scanning the room, not looking for anyone in particular. She saw Kaidan, James and Cortez at the lower bar, and EDI, joker, and Garrus sitting at a table nearby. She threw a final look in the other direction before heading over to join them and saw Aria siting in her own little VIP section. The Asari caught site of her and waved her over. _Oh God_ Aela groaned to herself and walked over to her anyway. Pulling her cigarettes out of her pocket and sticking one between her lips.

"The hell are you doing here?" She asked over the music lighting the cigarette and taking a seat next to Aria.

"Cerberus has taken Omega from me and now the Illusive man is squarely at the top of my shit list." Aria said coldly.

"Get in line." Aela said on her exhale.

"Actually I have a proposition for you regarding some help I may be able to offer your war. The Blood Pack, Blue Suns, and Eclipse."

"And why would you want to help me?" She asked skeptically

"Please I wasn't born yesterday. I can see that the reapers are a threat to everyone." Aela grumbled a few minutes then said.

"Well beggars can't be choosers, and we need all the damn help we can get. What do I need to do?" Aria gave a smirk and filled her in on the details.

"Ah Christ Aria, can never make something simple for me can you? Jona Sederis is a psycho path." Aela shook her head not even believing herself at the deal she just cut. "I'll see what I can do." She said raising and walking off toward the bar with the rest of her crew.

"Hey." Kaidan greeted with a smile then plucked the cigarette out of her mouth and put it out in the ashtray on the bar. She growled her displeasure but he couldn't hear it over the music. The Bartender approached and Kaidan got his usual shot of whisky and the closest thing he could find to Canadian lager, Vega got some tequila shots with Cortez and a pitcher of beer for the group.

"Four Shots of Everclear." She called to the Bartender.

"Oo Damn Lola, you sure?" James asked worried.

"If they have it, yes." She said. She was all kinds of tense, Vega backed away. Kaidan came close and put his mouth near her ear to talk to her.

"Are you ok?" He asked, she shook her head no lightly. "Do you want to talk about it?" Again she shook her head no. He sighed knowing there was nothing he could say or do at this moment and gave her a kiss on the side of her head.

"Don't have Everclear but we have this." The turian held up a green bottle of absinthe.

"That'll work." She called.

"No it won't. Tequila shots for her" Kaidan called to the bartender

"Devil Springs." She called after him.

"Are you trying to poison yourself?" Kaidan growled at her choices of liquor.

"If I wanted that I'd drink ryncol. Look, I have had a sha-hiiit-y day. Ok? Could you just not." He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her up against him and put his mouth to her ear again.

"I know it was shitty. You think it was easy for me to hold a gun to you? Cause it wasn't." The way he grabbed her was a turn on, and she had to stifle the urge to rip his clothes off right there.

"We don't have Devil Springs tequila." The Bartender informed placing Kaidan's drink's down in front of them.

"Can you make a Throw Me Down And Fuck Me?" She asked and felt Kaidan's mouth smile against her head. The bartender looked shocked for a moment not knowing what that was. She pulled the recipe up on her omni-tool and showed him.

"Oh yea I can make that." The Bartender called and turned around to procure the ingredients.

"Well now, Commander, I'm not so sure that was a drink order or a request." Kaidan purred in her ear.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She teased back enjoying his arm around her and his hot breath on her ear.

"I would actually." His voice was husky.

"Your drinks are ready." She informed and he tossed a glance behind him.

"So they are" He said and let go of her to drink his shot and took the other and headed over to the rest of the group. The bartender placed a purple drink down in front of her which she collected and made her way over to the group.

"That's not Everclear. what is it?" Vega asked as she took the seat between him and Kaidan

"A Throw me down and fuck me"

"Oh I would Lola, but we're in public." Vega teased. She rolled her eyes and looked over at Kaidan who seemed annoyed. She leaned over and asked

"What's the matter?" He shook his head but she knew he was lying.

"So you two seem cozy." Joker said talking to her and Kaidan with a shit eating grin on his face.

"No more then you are with Cortez." Kaidan teased looking up at the dance floor.

"You guys are we seriously going to dance around this? There is a war going on I'm sure you two shacking up isn't very high on the _give a shit_ list." Joker informed. Vega shuffled uncomfortably in his seat and looked around the room pretending not to listen to the conversation.

"I'm sorry what?" Cortez asked in genuine confusion looking at the two. They both drank their drinks not making eye contact with anyone.

"Oh yea, you didn't know?" Joker continued. "These two have been all hot and bothered for each other since we went after Saren."

"Oh, yeah I got front row seat every time we went on a mission." Garrus added. Vega took one of his shots and sat back in his chair staring up at the dancers. To everyone else he appeared not to be paying attention.

"Oh for god sake." Kaidan sighed placing his drink on the table then turned towards her, grabbed her and kissed her eliciting whoops and cheers from the group. All but Vega who stood and went back to the bar for something stronger, though no one seemed to notice.

"Joker has a point. I'm pretty sure we are of little concern to anyone right now." Kaidan said.

"Can we pretend the past two years didn't happen?" She asked because for her it really hadn't since she spent two years dead and she just wanted to pick up where they left off.

"Yes." He agreed happily.  
"Good, move your shit to my room." She purred into his ear.  
"Gladly" He smiled and pulled her onto his lap.

"Oh damn that means our fun is over. We can't taunt them about it now." Garrus said to Joker.

"Me and my big mouth." Joker sighed.

"Well I think it's great. Everyone deserves to be happy, now more than ever." Cortez said.

"Well hate to go, but i have to make nice with some less than reputable people." Aela said standing. She leaned over and gave Kaidan a goodbye kiss.

"I'll see you tonight?" She asked in his ear and he nodded yes.

"So Kaidan does that mean you two are going to pick up _exactly _where you left off?" Garrus asked refereeing to their last conversation on the Normandy before it was destroyed. Kaidan rubbed his tags under his shirt specifically feeling over the ring.

"Maybe." He said back. It all came down to timing for him. He didn't want to half ass it and with the reapers invading he wasn't sure how he was going to do it right.

"Hey where'd Vega go?" Cortez asked searching around the bar but he wasn't there.

"Lieutenant Vega left shortly before Shepard. My sensors indicated he wasn't feeling well." EDI informed.

"Like he drank too much, or something?" Joker asked.

"No. His heart rate and body temperature suggested he was …agitated." She said almost sounding confused by the word.

"Agitated? By what?" Cortez fished.

"I am not sure. But he started exhibiting these signs around the time Jeff started talking about Major Alenko's relationship with Commander Shepard."

"That's not agitated EDI. It's called jealousy." Kaidan said heading to the bar for another drink.

"Oh this is going to be interesting." Joker mumbled.


	29. Kaidan meet Jack

**A/N:** Ok kind of a long chapter

smut in the first half. Funny in the second or at least i thought it was.

hopefully you will laugh as hard reading this chapter as i did writing it

While writing the Bar scene and on i was rocking Party At A Rich Dude's House by Kesha if you want to listen to it for a nice mood setting .

* * *

Aela was so fucking ready for this day to be over. The Blood Pack had come along easily. She had convinced Jona Sederis' second in command to assassinate her and make the deal with Aria himself. But damn it the Blue Suns were a pain in the ass. No, just General Oraka was. He wouldn't let the blue suns slide and now she had to go fish out some rare crap for a black market dealer. She grumbled to herself as she made her way to the Normandy's air lock.

"Joker set a course of the Kite's Nest. We have some scanning to do in that system." She said after the decon scan was complete, and walked back toward the elevator.

"Aye, aye ma'am" Joker said in acknowledgement. She rode the elevator in silence. And walked in to her room thoroughly exhausted and heard the shower running in the bathroom and was confused till she remembered Kaidan had probably moved his stuff in like she asked. She walked over to her bed and flopped down face in the bed, with her legs hanging off the bed so her boots didn't touch the blanket. It was a weird pet peeve of hers. Shoes shouldn't touch the couch or the bed or anything that wasn't floor really.

"Hey," Kaidan said exiting the bath room in his black shorts rubbing his wet hair with the towel. She mumbled her greeting into the bed. He smiled at her and hung the towel back up and made his way over to her.

"Trouble?" He asked pulling her boots off and throwing them over by her desk.

"Mmmhhmmm." She mumbled into the bed as he pulled her black pants and socks off her and threw them in the hamper by her fish tank.

"Oh that feels so good." She said lifting her head off the bed.

"Those are new." Kaidan said examining the black lace trimmed booty shot style panties that she wore, giving him a great view of her perfect backside.

"Well yea. Do you really not expect me to buy new underwear after all this time?" She joked. He plopped down next to her on the bed lying on his back. A light cough escaped from her chest and he looked over at her.

"You ok?" He asked with concern  
"Yea I think I'm getting a chest cold that's all." She grumbled.

"That's not the cough of a chest cold that's a smoker's cough." He said unhappily. She rolled her eyes and bent her right arm back unclasping her bra through her shirt and reached under and pulled the death trap out and threw it across the room.

"Ok that feels even better than not being in pants." She sighed and crawled up to her pillows by him and flipped over to her back. He laughed at her and pulled her close to him. It had been years since they just lay like this. The last time he felt her head on his chest like this was on shore leave before the Normandy attack. And yet after all that time it still felt right.

"I have to say this is way better than the Sr-1 was." He said looking around the cabin.

"Oh I know. The illusive man did one thing right at least." She agreed looking over the room.

"Two. He brought you back right?" He said and kissed the top of her head

"Yea" She said with a smile. She had missed being like this with him.  
"Better than new as I hear it" Kaidan joked recalling his encounter with Miranda on the citadel before they went through the Omega 4 relay.

"Well it's nice not to have back and hip pain, as well as not having to wear a hearing aid anymore. That littler bugger got annoying after a while." He gave a soft chuckled and she closed her eyes enjoying the feel of his chest vibrating from it. They lay there content to be in each other's arms again for a while, until she felt his demeanor change and he asked.

"If it had come down to it…would you have pulled the trigger?" He was referring to earlier that day.

"Never." She admitted.

"Hell we'd probably still be stuck there than." He joked trying to lighten the mood.

"You wouldn't have if I didn't back down?" She asked.

"No. I couldn't shoot you… Ever." He said firmly.  
"Technically that's a lie since you alright have." She teased reminding him of his miss calculation on Feros.

"I didn't do that intentionally." He grumbled and she smiled into his chest. She gave a slight shiver and he felt the goosebumps run over her skin. He smiled to himself felling how cold she was against him.

"Cold?" He asked playfully.

"A little." She said snuggling closer against him.

"Why don't you put your pajamas on then?" he asked.

"Because I don't want to move." She said. He sighed and tugged at the covers under them, freeing them as best he could, and then pulled the blanket over them.

"There." He said.

"Thank you."

"This blanket is much thinner than the old one. Are you sure you're gonna be able to sleep in just your N7 tank and your underwear?" He asked remembering how thick her old comforter was.

"I have you with me. You'll keep me warm." She said softly and moved her right leg over his. _Yea I will. _He thought. _Seriously you two just got back together and all you can think of is getting in between her legs?_ He chastised at himself. But he couldn't help it, his mind continuously wandered back to the night before Ilos and her birthday on shore leave all those years ago. _Oh, her birthday. _He wished he hadn't thought of that. She was going to know he wanted her now. Hell, he hadn't touched another woman since her, was it really that bad for him to want her after all this time?

"Seems you want to keep me more than warm." She said voice thick with lust as she felt his arousal against her leg.

"Sorry." He said in embarrassment. "It's, ugh, been a while." He said closing his eyes trying to calm himself. That didn't happen though, as she slid her hand down into his shots and wrapped her hand around his shaft.

"Oh, Major. You seem to have really missed me." She purred sliding her hand up and down the length of him. He sucked in a sharp breath feeling her soft hand gliding over him. She kissed his chest and up to his neck as she slowly pumped his length.

"God, you're hard as a rock." She breathed in his ear. He could hardly focus as his heart rate elevated and his breathing picked up. A rough moan escaped his throat as she pumped faster. He could feel her smile, proud of his reaction to her. He turned his head and slammed his mouth against hers, invading her mouth with his tongue. He grabbed her wrist and removed her hand from him and flipped her over to her back and kissed down her neck pressing his hips into hers. He tugged her shirt over her head and threw it aimlessly over his shoulder. His lips explored every inch of her newly exposed skin and dragged the tip of his tongue over her tattoo on her ribs. Her own breathing now growing rapid as he greedily sucked on each breast and rubbed her over her panties. She had longed for his touch every second since she had awoken in the Cerberus facility. He pushed her panties aside and decided to repay the favor as he slid two fingers into her. She let an approving moan escape her throat as he trailed kisses down her stomach. His hand moved furiously, fingers assaulting her g-spot. He smiled against her as he heard her climax. He removed his hand from her and ripped her panties off her and she heard a tearing sound in the fabric.

"I like those." She panted more than protested anxiously awaiting for him to touch her again.

"I don't give a shit I'll buy you new ones." He growled throwing his own underwear aside and sheathing himself inside her. She gave a loud joyous moan. _Oh Great Spirit he's bigger than I remember _she thought as he filled her. His grunt seemed to corroborate the feeling. His hips pulsed in a moderate rhythm, but she wanted more. She panted and moaned with every pulse but she didn't want him to be gentle with her for once. She wanted a good old fashion fucking. She grabbed his hips and forced him to stop; he looked at her in confusion.

"For once don't act like you're going to cause me to trigger and fuck me like I know you want to." She demanded. He gave her and unsure look at first but that quickly changed as her own stare stayed challenging.

"Fine." He breathed and pushed himself up onto his knees, he pulled her legs up over his arms and placed his hands firmly on her hips as he set a hard demanding pace that he had only done one other time with her on her birthday. Her eyes rolled back into her head, hands slammed over her head onto the headboard as she cried out in ecstasy. He knew she was a screamer but the memory was one thing and the actuality another. Her cries drowned out the sound of the head board slamming hard against the wall. She came quickly a first and second time, and he met her on the third, with a final hard slam into her. He collapsed onto her feeling much like he had all those years ago on shore leave. She sounded like she had then too. Well satisfied.

"Do I live up to your drinks standards?" He joked through his ragged breathing. She laughed lazily.

"Oh no, you are much better." She said her breathing evening out, though she wasn't moving anytime soon. She was enjoying the delightful numbness that radiated through her body. A feeling she hadn't had since him.

"Good." He said his heart rate settling and lifted his head to look at her. "I love you." He sighed.

"I love you too." She replied opening her eyes to meet his. He smiled and kissed her ribs. His eyes were drawn to her tattoo.

"When did you get this?" he asked. She lifted her head to look at it for a moment than dropped her head back onto the pillows and closed her eyes.

"Three days before the first Normandy was destroyed." He looked at her in thought for a moment, then got up and procured his shorts and boxer-briefs from the floor, and sifter through her drawers for some pjs for her.

"You don't approve?" She asked after he said nothing for a while. "You don't like that I have a tattoo for you?" She looked up at him as he handed her the cloths he got for her. A small smirk crossed his lips.

"I'd be a hypocrite if I did." She a gave a confused look as he sat on the bed next to her and raised his left arm revealing a familiar blue black dead rose on his ribs near his heart with her name under it. The same rose like the ones she had all over her left arm.

"You got a tattoo?" She asked as a shit eating grin crossed her face in genuine excitement.

"I thought you died." He grumbled his embarrassment.

"I love it." She said warmly as she pulled her shit over her head. He smiled at her and crawled back into bed next to her. And for the first time in years, they fell asleep content in each other's arms.

* * *

"Alright, Shepard you're on!" Jack called from across the table, accepting Aela's challenge. Aela smiled and they made their way over to the lower bar.

"We need Starry Night shots and keep them coming my friend and I are having a drinking contest." Aela said to the Salarian bartender.

"You can't win this, Shep. You get Hangovers." Jack teased.

"That doesn't mean you can drink me under the table." Aela taunted back as the bartender placed their first shots in front of them.

"Bitch, I'm going to drink you under the floor!" Jack said and they booth downed their first shots.

"Just because you survived the suicide mission doesn't mean you can out drink me." Aela said as their second shots came.

"That's exactly what it means." Jack called after shooting the second round. They continued on bullshitting each other and drinking for forty-five minutes. Jack lost after 31 shots, Aela the victor with 32 shots.

"The fuck is in this?" jack slurred and fell on her ass. Aela laughed at her in her victory but joined her friend on the floor seconds later.

"Goldshlager and Jager." Aela drunkenly laughed from the floor.

"Shiiiit." Jack slurred falling back laughing with Shepard. "I'm still the better biotic." She taunted.

"Wanna bet?" Aela challenged.

"Fuck yea." Jack agreed trying to stand. Aela wasn't having any better luck in that endeavor herself. Yet through their shitfacery they managed to stand and Aela threw Jack across the room biotically, and she landed on the red couch next to Aria who simply raised an eyebrow at her new company.

"Oh you're fucking on!" Jack screamed and stood, making her way up the few steps. Aela made her way towards jack and they met at the table they had previously sat at earlier. Jack threw a shockwave but Aela dogged it and slammed jack pretty hard but not at her full strength. A crowd had gathered to watch the spectacle but gave the two powerful biotics a wide birth. Jack got Aela with a singularity then launched her to the upper dance floor with a throw of her own.

"FUUUCK!" Aela screamed as she flew through the air. The guards tried to break them apart with no luck as both women restrained them with a throw or a stasis field and continued their dueling until Vega showed up and grabbed Aela by the waist.

"LOLA! CALM YOUR SHIT BEFORE THEY THROW YOU OFF THE CITADEL FOR GOOD!" He called but she pushed him off her and shouted/ slurred.

"Don't touch me Lieutenant! And I'm a Spectre they can't throw me off!" Vega rolled his eyes and grabbed jack picking her up like a toy and threw her over his shoulders restraining her hands and legs so she couldn't use her biotics.

"Awww damn it! It was getting fun!" She slurred.

"Let's get you two back to the Normandy." He said nervously running from Aela's persistent attacks. He ran out of the bar with jack, toward the elevator leading Aela away. She had forgotten their duel in her drunken stopper and was now rambling on about jack and Vega shacking up.

"Jack you should totally bang James! He needs to get some." She slurred. Vega flushed crimson. But she wasn't done yet. "Kaidan's all butthurt at the way James talked to me so if you two fuck he'll feel better."

"Who's Kaidan?" Jack asked but forgot the question after asking it and Aela didn't answer her.

"Oh mi dios de mierda" Vega said hoping he would spontaneously combust from the embarrassment.  
"I'm down Muscles. Haven't been with a big guy like you yet." Jack giggled on his shoulders as the elevator doors slid open and he walked in while Aela more tumbled in.

"Wait, wait, wait" Aela said sitting on the elevator floor looking up at jack "Before you two fuck I need a favor."

* * *

Kaidan was in the Spectre office dealing with reports about the incident with the council when EDI called him.

"Major, I think you need to return to the Normandy. Shepard and Jack have gotten into…An Altercation….." Her metallic vice said slowly over his omni-tool. He remembered who jack was from the brief time he saw her on the citadel.

"What kind of altercation?" He asked. _Didn't Garrus say those two were like sisters? What kind of fight could they have had?_

"It appears they had a fight in the middle of purgatory and both sides used their biotics. Lieutenant Vega was able to stop it before any real damage occurred and was able to lure the two onto the Normandy."

"Oh shit." Kaidan said in horror and literally dropped everything and ran in full sprint toward the elevator.

* * *

Kaidan was not prepared for this as he walked into their room. He was greeted by a familiar buzzing sound as he walked down the steps and turned to see Aela lying on her back on the couch in her bra, jeans and boots still on, left arm over head as Jack traced on said arm a new rose.

"All done." Jack said "And about damn time I need a break."

"You gave her a new tattoo? While you're dunk!?" He said with an elevated voice.

"Three actually." She corrected. Aela sat up and he saw the new one on her back under her right shoulder blade. It looked like a prayer of some form along with a strange Alien language on the back of her neck.

"Now I'm off to fine Lieutenant Vega." Jack said and stumbled towards Kaidan.

"Um, no you're not. Sit your ass down." He said grabbing her by the arm and lightly tossing her into the chair.

"Oh alright." She mumbled and sunk into the chair.

"What the hell were you two thinking?" He chastised in a loud voice. Aela twisted to look at him swaying.

"I had to show Jack I was the stronger biotic." She said like he should have known that. He rubbed his tumbles feeling a whopper of a migraine starting. Aela stood and walked over to him.

"How did that ever come up?" He asked grabbing her by the waist when she tripped.

"Well first I had to prove I could out drink her." She said.

"OH MY GOD!" Kaidan shouted smelling the liquor on her breath. "HOW MUCH DID YOU DRINK?"

"I WON! 32 shots." She smiled full of pride.

"32 shots?! !" He was shouting at the top of his lungs now "OF WHAT?"

"Starry Nights." She said again like he should have known that.

"What's in that?" He questioned in confusion

"Goldshlager and Jägermeister" Jack chimed in. Kaidan dropped his head back his migraine throbbing.

"oh my god." He whisper to which the two women giggled furiously at him. The door hissed open and Garrus walked in with arms full of liter water bottles.

"The Calvary has arrived." He announced and Kaidan shot him a relieved look as Aela collapsed in his arms and he was now holding her up.

"Garrus!" The two women squealed.

"Nice to see you too, Jack." Garrus said handing her a water bottle; Kaidan sat Aela on the couch.

"I'll take it from here." Garrus said quietly to him and handed Aela a water bottle. While they weren't looking Jack had snuck past and was headed out the door when she called.

"What level is Lieutenant Vega on?" Both men snapped their attention to her and were about to stop her but it was too late as she boarded the elevator and Aela shouted over to her.

"The Shuttle Bay have fun don't make a mess!"

"Thanks" Jack called and selected the shuttle bay. Kaidan ran over to the elevator to stop her but it was too late the doors slid shut.

"Oh my god c'est un cauchemar putain!" Kaidan hissed and tried desperately to hack the elevator.

"I'm sorry Major, Jack as overridden all commands including my own." EDI's voice called overhead sounding annoyed.

"HOW?" He asked exasperated.

"Jack is an ex-convict she has acquired many talents over the years." EDI informed

"I didn't know you spoke French." Aela's voice called softly to him from the room.  
"EDI please warn Lieutenant Vega and Cortez they will be a receiving a visitor soon." Kaidan grumbled.

"I believe they are already aware."

"Ugh Major?" Cortez's voice called over the comm. "Do you know Jack's running wild on the ship?"  
"Yes unfortunately." He heard Cortez laughing hysterically and Vega's shouting in the back ground.  
"OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS! EDI RECORD IT!" Cortez called.

"I already am Lieutenant." EDI's voice sounded amused.

"What the hell is going on?" Kaidan demanded.

"hahahahahh oh , oh god, ahhahahah Jack hahaahha she has Vega's legs ahahhaahh tapped in stasis field bhahahhahahahahahh and she's trying hahahhaa trying really hard bahahahhah to get, to get his pants off." Cortez tried to say through bouts of hysterical laughter.  
"ESTABAN YOU ASS! HELP ME!" Vega shouted in the back ground. "NO! JACK STOP!"

"Calm down muscles stop struggling." Jack purred. Garrus couldn't help it he lost his shit and was on the floor laughing with Aela. Kaidan tried to hack the elevator again and got through this time and hit the button for the Crew deck.

"Liara I need your help. Meet me on the elevator." He called.

"On my way" she responded. Kaidan filled her in the situation as they road down to the shuttle bay. They door dinged open and they saw Vega looking disheveled with his shirt ripped and pants undone, with Jack pinned under him. He had her wrists pinned to the floor and was laying on top of her, her face in the floor.

"HELP!" James screamed as Cortez was hyperventilating on the ground behind the Requisition terminal. Liara took a defensive stance and told Vega to move. He got up and she immobilized jack with the strongest Stasis field she could manage and held it like a barrier. Kaidan procured a pair of restraints that the alliance had specifically made for nullifying biotics and placed them around her wrist then removed her amp. Liara dropped the stasis and walked over to help James out.

"You two are no fun." Jack grumbled into the floor.

"Why are you trying to have sex with Lieutenant Vega?" Kaidan asked bewildered squatting next to her.

"Cuz Shep asked me too. Said he needed a good lay and I haven't gotten any in a while so why not?"  
"Why would Aela care?" Kaidan asked sounding more jealous then he meant to. _Why would Aela give a shit about Vega's sex life? _

"She wants you two to relax around each other and stop dick measuring. She said if you knew I was fucking Vega you'd feel better and leave him alone." Kaidan closed his eyes in frustration. He stood and pinched the bridge of his nose. His head was pounding and he wanted to throw up so bad.

"Lieutenant Vega and I are fine." He sighed.

"You're lying" She teased. "I can tell you don't like the way he drools over her. I saw it in the elevator on the way up here." The tension in the shuttle bay grew as she addressed the elephant in the room.

"Hell, if I were you I wouldn't like it either." She continued.

"Jack you're drunk you don't know what you're talking about." Kaidan said pulling her too her feet.

"Sure I do. You can't stand his little pet name for her or the fact that she allows it." Jack purred. "In fact, you hate it so much that you're jealous at the idea of them being close."

"You're out of line." He in a low commanding voice.

"Am I?" She bite seeing through his bullshit.

"Are you?" Vega asked having been listening the whole time.

"Not now Vega." Kaidan growled. Vega didn't want to talk about it with an audience around. Vega was jealous of Kaidan because he got the woman of his dreams. But it had never occurred to him that the Major was jealous of his friendship with Aela. James hadn't even realized how close they really were. _Is he worried I'm going to take her from him?_ He wondered boosting his own ego. Kaidan walked with jack back to the elevator.

"Damn," Jack sighed. "I'm starting to sober up." She shot one last glance at James.

"Offer still stands muscles." She said with a wink that made James blush.

* * *

**Oh mi dios de mierda** - Oh my Fucking God

**c'est un cauchemar putai** - this is a fucking nightmare


	30. Clearing the air

**A/N:** Aela mentions about her abuse here hopefully it isn't anything to make someone trigger but fair warning to brace yourself.

* * *

"You are a fucking Asshole" Kaidan chastised Aela from outside the bathroom as she prayed to the porcelain god. _He dropped an f bomb he is pissed._ She groaned as another wave of nausea overwhelmed her. She hated throwing up. She sat in her bra and jeans, because it always made her feel hot and gross.

"Do you have any idea how irresponsible that was? You could have hurt a civilian…..scratch that a few hundred civilians." He continued in his rage.

"At the time it seemed like a good idea." She said in her genuine smart ass-ry. She went to the sink and proceeded to brush her teeth. Her head pounded and she felt like she had been hit by every form of vehicle there was. Kaidan through the door open when he heard the water running.

"Oh yea was it a good idea to tell Jack to have sex with Vega to make me happy?" He bit.

"Yes actually." She said after rinsing the toothpaste out of her mouth with water. "Why are you so jealous of him?" She mumbled walking past him to her dresser and procured a white Alliance tank and pulled it over her head. The rage in his eyes burned with ferocity at the accusation.

"I am not jealous of him." He growled through grit teeth.

"Could have fooled me." She said in a low voice as she walked over to her desk and picked up the two name plaques that sat there.

"I don't like the way he flirts with you, but are you really going to tell me if the tables were turned and another woman flirted with me in front of you, you wouldn't be pissed." He asked taking note of her colorless skin from dehydration and being sick and walked over to the mini fridge and grabbed a water bottle for her.

"Oh no I'd smear the walls with that bitch." She stated as a fact and he handed her the water bottle.

"Well than I'd say I'm being fairly reasonable." He sighed. "I like Vega he's a good guy, and a damn good soldier. But I am really sick of him flirting with you." She chugged the water and he saw some color come back to her. She crumbled the bottle and threw it in the trash.

"I understand I'll talk to him." She sighed and walked toward the doors with the name plates.

"Before you go," He said stopping her, she turned to face him. "What's with the two newest tattoos?" he understood the reason for the roses now, but not the strange word on the back of her neck or the script on her back. She hung her head as sorrow swept over her.

"The one on my neck is in the Drell language, it says Siha. A nickname Thane gave me. It's a name of one of the angles in his religion, an angel known to be fierce in wrath and a tenacious protector." She said with a small smile on her lips remembering when he had finally told her what it meant. Thane had meant it as a term of endearment but she wore it like a badge of honor now. "The other was his last wish for me, a prayer that I would find my way." She said with the smile vanishing. Yes she wore the prayer beads on her wrist for him which Kolyat told her were personalized for her with red beryl, night Star Sun Sitara, rubellite tourmaline, and azurite. But that prayer was like his dying wish for her and she was going to carry it around with her forever.

"So Thane gets two and everyone else gets a rose?" Kaidan wondered aloud.  
"Please don't be jealous of a dead man." She spat and walked out the door.

"I'm not." He sighed to the empty room. He was only musing out loud that this Thane must have been very special to her.

* * *

Kaidan, Garrus and Vega waited patiently on this desert like planet for Cortez to get them. Aela had said she needed to attend to a personal matter alone so she left Kaidan in charge, said she would be gone for a week max. He hadn't expected an emergency request from Hackett to stop Cerberus from taking over a communications base or for a malfunction to happen on the shuttle forcing Cortez to land and make repairs after safely transporting Ms. Sato to safety. Cortez had assured the team it wouldn't take longer than an hour. They weren't too concerned about it, Cerberus was no were in site anymore. There was a tension still between Kaidan and Vega. They got along well enough and the mission was never in jeopardy if they were on the same team but during the down time there was always a strange vibe. Kaidan was trying to drop it per Aela's request and Vega had dialed down the flirting, but still Kaidan couldn't shake the feeling that Vega had something to say but was hesitating. They stood at the west landing area surrounded by creates. James was near the railing on the far end, Garrus was hanging out on a small protrusion looking out over the satellite dishes. Kaidan had his back to them staring at the main facility.

"So did Shepard say why she was leaving or how long she would be gone?" Garrus asked pulling at the rim of his armor to adjust himself.

"No." Kaidan sighed he didn't like not knowing where she was. If she needed help he wouldn't be able to and that angered him. "She just said she would be gone no longer than a week." He said with annoyance.

"She's a big girl Major I'm sure she'll be fine." Vega said sitting next to a create trying to find some shade from the sun.

"Ugh yea I know that, Lieutenant." Kaidan said rolling his eyes backed turned to them

"Well good because of all people you should." Vega said with a snarky attitude. Kaidan spun around and eyeballed Vega.  
"What's with the stick up your ass?" He bit. Vega just sat there eye closed leaning his head back against the railing.

"No stick up my ass, Sir. I was just saying you should relax more." James called rather smugly. "Not like she's your property." He said under his breathe but Kaidan heard him.

"I never said she was, Vega. What the hell is wrong with you? If you have something to say, say it!" Kaidan said talking a few steps towards him. Vega opened his eyes and looked up and Kaidan, clenching his teeth.

"No, Sir, Major Alenko, Sir." He said as disrespectfully as possible. Kaidan stood hands on hips and slid his tongue over the back of his teeth.  
"Is that what's stopping you James? You think I'm going to pull rank on you?" Garrus spun around to watch the two, wishing he had some dextro popcorn.

"Well, James lets air this out now, permission to speak freely." Kaidan spat. Vega stared up at him a while then asked.

"Why you?" barely above a whisper.

"Why me what?"

"Why do you get her? You barely saw her while she was locked up, but I know you were on base I saw you multiple times. Yet she ignores me, who was there for her day in and day out and she won't let me lay a finger on her. But you, oh no you come in all high and mighty and she melts for you." Vega growled. Kaidan flexed his jaw trying not to beat the shit out of James. _He doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. _ "I get you two have a past I do, I mean she never spoke of you to me, but if what Joker said was right you two have been something since Saren all those years ago, then why the fuck didn't you come visit more?" Vega Chastised.

"Probably because I didn't think she wanted me around." Kaidan growled. "We didn't exactly end our last conversation on the best terms back then. But don't think for a fucking second that you know her better than anyone." Vega jumped to his feet and cross the small distance to Kaidan getting in his face.

"What makes you so damn special?" He shouted. Kaidan couldn't believe the nuts on this guy.

"Seriously? You think you spent six months with her and you know her so damn well?"  
"Yea I do!"  
"Really?"  
"Yea!"  
"THAN WHY DOESN'T SHE LIKE TO BE TOUCHED?!" Kaidan screamed. Vega was dumb founded. He had no fucking idea, but he saw that Kaidan knew. A smug smile crossed Kaidan mouth and Vega wanted to punch it off him. "You have no fucking idea do you?" Vega backed up a foot and shook his head defeated looking at the ground. "If you two are so close then you should know what all the flowers on her arm are for, or where she grew up, or even what her ethnicity is." Vega felt embarrassed now and glued his eyes to the floor. He felt like he knew her well enough but thinking about these questions now he had no idea how to answer them. All he knew is that woman made him want to be better. To be something more than just another notch on his belt, and he couldn't stand that Alenko got her. His anger boiled up again and he snapped without thinking

"You're so fucking smart then what the marks on her back from?" James said accusingly. He assumed this asshole was the one who put them there. He couldn't have been more wrong. Blind fury washed over Kaidan at the insinuation that he could ever have done to her what Calvin did.

"You son of bitch!" Kaidan growled and threw Vega biotically. He hit the railing rather hard and Kaidan was on him in second throwing a mean right hook. Vega returned with a few punches of his own, but after being decked by Connor all those years ago they really didn't hurt that much.

"HEY, HEY, HEY! KAIDAN STOP!" Garrus shouted intervening and pulling the Major off and pushed him back, the turian placed himself between the two as Cortez arrived to see some of the brawl and jumped out to help.

"What the hell's going on here?" He asked running over to restrain Kaidan, who didn't even acknowledge the shuttle pilot, he just spit over to Vega.

"If you two are so damn close, go ask her about them." The two officers stood eyes locked for a while ready to jump down each other any second till EDI's voice called down over their omni-tools.

"Commander Shepard has returned. I have informed her of the altercation between Lieutenant Vega and Major Alenko." Both men felt like foolish assholes and looked away finally.

"Both of you in the port observation deck, now!" Aela growled.

* * *

Aela stood arms crossed, eyebrow raised in all her Commanding glory staring at these two, who were sitting on opposite ends of the couch with ice packs on their face. Garrus had filled her in on the incident but she was waiting to hear their side. Both knew she was waiting for one of them to speak up. Both were too afraid to assay anything. She finally broke the silence.

"What the hell is wrong with you two?!" She demanded. "I have enough on my plate without you two tearing each other a part. Kaidan you're jealousy is on my last nerve and Vega stop instigating him, or ill throw you both out the air lock." She threatened. Kaidan scoffed knowing she wouldn't, a move he instantly regretted as it drew all the attention on to him.

"Is something funny Major?" She growled. He shook his head.

"No Ma'am" He said softly. She had removed her amp before coming into this little meeting. A wise choice on her end otherwise they would both be staring into an inferno of hell surrounding her.

"Now I'm giving you one last chance to explain yourselves. Otherwise I'm dumping both of you off at the citadel the next time we are there." Both of them looked up at her with shock. She meant it. Even for Kaidan. He wasn't about to let that happen so he finally broke.

"Vega insinuated I beat you. That I was the one to cause the scars on your back." He said stifling his rage at the notion. She was shocked this time. She turned her attention to Vega who looked like a child about to get a whooping.

"Why the hell would you accuse Kaidan of that? He would _NEVER _physically hurt me intentionally." She said to James who shrugged not knowing what to say.

"I just assumed the way you reacted anytime you saw him, you know before, that he had done something to you." She dropped her head in her hands and sighed.

"This has to stop. Both of you need to get over it. Vega, Kaidan is my choice. Kaidan, Vega is my friend. Both of you deal with it."

"With all due respect, Shepard, You need to tell James a whole hell of a lot, I don't feel it's my place to tell him." he said in a kind manner knowing these were extremely sensitive topics for her. She sighed her frustration, but agreed with him.  
"Lieutenant Vega, I was beaten as a teenager and as a result I have scars. As well as my aversion to physical contact. Kaidan is not the reason for my scars. I believe you own him an apology for that."

"Sorry, Major." Vega said sheepishly.  
"It's ok James. I'm sure if I were in your shoes I'd have assumed the same, and I'm sorry for over reacting." Kaidan said calmly and gave Vega a friendly pat on the back.

"It's ok Major, I've taking worse hits." Vega teased. Both men stood and shook hands.

"Great now that that's settled." She said as James excited the room. "Joker set a course for Far Rim; we have to settle and argument between the Quarians and the Geth." She called overhead.

"Aye, aye ma'am" Joker affirmed. Kaidan walked over to her and placed his arms around her.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to cause you any more stress" He apologized kissing the side of her head.

"I know he had to have pissed you off pretty badly if you hit him. You are the level headed one in this relationship." She said playfully

"On that we can agree." He chuckled softly. "So where did you go off to the past four days?" He asked. She groaned her displeasure.

"Aria asked me to help her take back Omega, in turn for all its resources." Aela admitted no sure how he would react.

"I'm too tired to argue about this now." Kaidan sighed and kissed down her neck.

"You're still on thin ice mister. I mean seriously you punched a Lieutenant." She teased.

"He punched me back." He said with mock hurt in his voice "See right here I'm injured." He said playfully, pointing to his busted lip, and eyebrow.

"Ok come here let me kiss it better." She teased and he lowered his forehead to her looking down her shirt as she kissed the cut on his eyebrow. He lingered and she looked at him then realized what he was doing.

"Really, Major? "She laughed.

"hmm?" He said thoroughly unaware of his surroundings, eyes fixed. She pushed him playfully .

"What?" he chuckled "I can't appreciate my wi- Woman's body." He caught himself and correct looking over her shoulder as an ensign walked in.

"Yea, yea, yea a likely story." She teased. "Now get back to work."

"I'm going." He said walking past her. She gave him a playful smack on his backside and he gave her look over his shoulders that said _don't tempt me._


	31. All in the details

Aela was up late. Unable to sleep, she sat at the work bench cleaning her N7 Valkyrie in the shuttle bay, in her jeans and sports bra. Adding upgrades and just passing time mostly. Cortez was her only companion in the large room. She was grateful that the two of them had become quite good friends since he confided in her about the loss of his husband, much to her bewilderment since she wasn't good with helping people with their emotions. She remembered being with him at the memorial wall giving him and awkward pat on the back to try to comfort him, to which he had mocked her for, for days. But their friendship meant she could smoke down here with him and he wouldn't snitch on her to Kaidan. He was working late on the shuttle again.

"You told me you wouldn't work yourself to death." She called over her shoulder removing her right hand from the assault rifle to take the cigarette from between her lips.

"I also told Kaidan I hadn't seen you smoking." He said from the shuttle. _Well he's got me there_ she thought taking another drag on her cigarette.

"Actually Commander I could use a favor from you." He called poking his head out from the shuttle doors. She shot a glance behind her then put her rifle down and balanced the cigarette neatly on the ashtray then made her way over to him. He looked her up and down and shook his head.

"No wonder Kaidan's jealous." He taunted. "You're almost enough to make me like women."

"Shut up Cortez." She said playfully.

"I said almost." He teased as she boarded the shuttle.

"What do you need?" She asked watching him get on his knees and lean over the open panel on the floor. He waved her over. She complied and looked down to where he pointed.

"You see that cup link in that small covered area."

"Yea?"

"Well I need you to reach in there and grab it."  
"Why?" She asked, his royal blue eyes looked up at her as he held his left hand up and wiggled is fingers.

"My hand's too big." She tsked and agreed getting down on her knees. Placing her left hand on the edge of the opening for balance then dropped her right arm into the space willing her arm to find the cup link he had pointed out.

"That's pretty." He said looking at her left hand, specifically her newest accessory on and important finger.

"You know it's been there a month and no one notice." She joked tossing a glance over to him.

"Really? Wow that's something people usually notice." He said drinking in the platinum band.  
"And yet you didn't till now. OW, Shit." She pulled her hand out with the cup link.

"Oh sorry did you get shocked?" He asked taking the cup link from her. She rubbed at the affected area.

"No, no a unicorn tickled my finger tips with its tongue." She said dryly. He gave her a playful nudge.

"Yea, yea. Thanks for the help." He said and helped her stand.

"mmmhhmm." She sounded exiting the shuttle. He Followed her and proceed over to the table he had full of tools and parts.

"So you two set a date?" He asked looking after her as she crossed back to her rifle.

"For what?" she asked stopping to turn and look at him in confusion. He gave her a quizzical look.

"For the wedding."

"Oh." She looked around with a strange look on her face and walked back. "No" She said hiding something and sat back down at her work space. He thought for a moment then his mouth fell open and he placed his tools down and walked toward her.

"You two are already married?!" He hissed the accusation.

"Whaat?" She said with a waiver, taking a quick drag on her cigarette. He crossed his arms and stood firmly staring at her with an eyebrow raised. She could feel his stare burning a whole into her back. Her shoulders slumped and she twisted around to look at him.

"Cortez I swear to the Great Spirit if you say anything to anyone I'm going to beat you to death." She growled quietly. A shit eating grin crossed his face and he practically ran over to her side and leaned up against her work bench.

"Tell me everything." He said quietly. She gave him a distasteful look and jokingly asked.

"OK who's the girl here?" He rolled his eyes.

"Bitch please I'm fabulous." He teased "Now dish."  
"About what?" She asked spinning back around

"You know what." He pried

"Well what specifically about it do you want to know. And I don't do mushy details." She grumbled.

"How did he ask?" He sounded giddy like a kid in a candy store.  
"With four words." She said picking the rifle back up and placing the cigarette between her lips. Cortez rolled his eyes.

"Not what I meant. When did you do it?" his voice was bouncy if that were even possible.

"And by _it _you mean …" She trailed off insinuating something else.

"Not what you're thinking. When did you two make it official?" he was getting agitated with her sarcasm but it was something he grew to love about her. Her dry humor made his day especially when it was aimed at Vega because the poor kid wasn't smart enough to pick up on it.

"I told you a month ago." She said absently, inspecting the rifle.

"But how? Where? When?" he pressed.

"Citadel, a month ago, with the court house." She said shortly

"Court house?" he tsked his distasted

"Yes the court house I'm sorry is that not to your liking?" She said voice oozing with sarcasm.

"No it isn't but I guess if you just wanted to get it over with-"

"Which I did." She said cutting him off

"Who were your witnesses?"  
"Garrus and Tali."

"You two just slapped your rings on and nobody noticed for a month?" he asked exasperated

"Correct, apparently if you don't bring attention to something people don't notice."

"Why aren't you telling anybody?"  
"Because it's none of their damn business."

"Are you going to change your name?"  
"Already did, that's the beauty of doing it at the court house take care of everything right there."  
"So then why do you still go by Shepard?"  
"Because I don't feel like correcting everyone."

"Does the alliance know?"  
"Yes."

"And they don't care?"

"Yes Cortez, my marriage is top priority right now even the Reapers have stopped attacking to judge me, Harbinger is such a diva, said my dress was _so_ last cycle." She said placing her rifle down and turning to look at him as she took a drag on her cigarette.

"Alright! I get it, low priority. "He said throwing his hands up in defeat. "Well I'm happy for you two." He said retreating to his work space.

"Thank you" She said genuinely "And again if you say anything I'll have James crash the shuttle again." She teased. He turned around one last time to give her and _over my dead body_ look and saw the elevator doors slide open and Kaidan walk out.  
"Damn it Shepard put that cigarette out! You know how I feel about you smoking down here." He said quickly covering his own ass.

"What?" She asked in confusion looking over her right shoulder at him then over the left shoulder at Kaidan's unhappy expression. _That son of bitch threw me under the bus and ran my ass over._

"Fuck." She whispered putting out the cigarette. Cortez returned to his tools and started fidgeting around to make it look like he was doing something. He was trying to steal a look at Kaidan's left hand without being seen. Kaidan placed his left hand down on her work bench and Cortez saw the light reflect off of something on his left hand. _How the hell did nobody notice?!_ He wondered to himself.

"Are you ever going to come to bed?" Kaidan asked her placing a light kiss on her left shoulder.

"Yea, I'm just not tired." She said Kaidan looked over her left arm at the newest flower added for Legion. It had only been two days since the loss of the Geth. He was worried about her, the wear and tear of losing people and constant battle was evident in her personality. Her insomnia had been at its worst lately not letting her sleep for days at a time. Her skin color had lightened though he was sure it was only apparent to him.

"You're running out of space." He said gliding his left hand down her arm almost completely covered in flowers. She glanced over her arm.

"Yea I know." She sighed. He moved to stand behind her and swept her hair over her right shoulder then placed his hands on her shoulders and kneaded his thumbs gently into her shoulder blades. She hummed her approval as this thumbs worked the knots in her back. He gave a sly grin and said huskily.

"I know how to get you to sleep." As he leaned down and scooped her up in his arm, she gave a short squeal of delight and they retread back to the elevator.

"Wait I have to put my gun away." She said squirming around.

"I'll put it back." Cortez called.

"Thank you, Steve." Kaidan said. Cortez waved at them and finally got a good look at the tungsten band on Kaidan's left ring finger.

"How did I not notice?!" He said to himself after the elevator doors slid shut.


	32. No rest for the wicked

"Major, it is time to wake up." EDI's metallic voice called to Kaidan. He opened his eyes slowly and jumped seeing her standing over him. He whipped the sleep from his eyes and shook his head.

"What are you doing in here?" He asked sleepily.

"You requested I wake you before Shepard if she did not fall asleep at a reasonable time." She said softly trying to keep her voice low.

"I didn't mean in person." he said groggily

"Oh, I am sorry. I calculated that if I called you over the comm. I would wake her as well." EDI informed. He paused and then shrugged. She had a point.

"In that case thank you, but please warn me before hand."

"Noted." She said and retread from the room. He looked over at Aela who was sound asleep. He got out of the bed as gently as possible, trying not to wake her. He didn't know how long she had been asleep but he wasn't taking his chances. She needed to get some damn sleep, and he was more than capable of handling things. He pulled some cloths out of his drawer and made his way to the bathroom to shower and shave. He placed the tungsten band on the shelves and took note of the slightest tan line that had started to appear before getting into the hot water of the shower. He exited the bathroom fifteen minutes later in his ACU pants pulling his undershirt over his head and tucking it into his pants. He froze when he heard her make a sound. She slept like the dead most of the time. Hell sometimes he thought she was dead. When she slept her breathing was so shallow and she lay perfectly still. He waited a second watching her and continued to put his ACU top on when she didn't give any sign of consciousness. He finished buttoning the top and checked himself to make sure he had everything, looking around the room and giving a reassuring glide of his thumb over his ring finger and felt better at the feel of the cool metal, then walked over to her and places a gentle kiss on her forehead before heading down to the CIC.

"Good morning Major." Traynor greeted from her station.

"Good morning Traynor." He responded and headed toward the Galaxy map to check their current status in that system. All scans were complete for with no findings. He set a course for another star system nearby. Should only take an hour or two to get to.

"Is Commander Shepard not feeling well?" Samantha asked taking note of him assuming her duties.

"She finally fell asleep last night so I thought I'd let her rest." He said and gave a friendly smile to her.

"Oh ok, In that case Dr. Chakwas wanted to speak with her about something in the med-bay and…. if you don't mind me asking, how long have you been a Major?.. Major." She asked. He stood up right and thought for a moment then answered.

"About six months now. Why?" He asked turning to face her.

"No reason in particular, I've just been seeing a lot of messages directed to a Commander Alenko and I assumed it was a mistake, given you're previous rank but that should have been taken care of by now."

"Oh don't worry about that Traynor," he reassured knowing they were for Aela. "Just pass them along to Aela's terminal." He said making his way down to the med-bay.

"Oh ok?" She was confused why she would pass the Majors messages to Shepard, but thought it best not to argue.

* * *

"Good morning Dr. Chakwas." Kaidan greeted entering the Med-bay.

"Good morning Major." She said pleasantly turning swiveling around to look at him.

"Aela finally fell asleep last night so I thought I'd let her sleep and take over for today." He said.

"Oh good that girl needs a good rest." She sighed. "I wanted to ask with all of the refugees and rescued troops we've been picking up in need of medical attention there is no way I am able to get this done on my own. Do you think we could have another doctor assist?" Kaidan shrugged.

"I don't see why not I'll send the request off to admiral Hackett." He said and was about to leave but saw a look on her face that said there was more. "Is there something else?"

"Well I was wondering if you think Dr. Michele would be willing to join us actually. She is an excellent physician, and we wouldn't have to wait for the alliance to move anyone around." _That sounded reasonable. _He thought

"Ok well I'll make sure to notify Hackett and ask her if she would be willing to come aboard."

"I'll talk to her you just take care of Hackett." She said with joy.

"Sounds good." He said headed out of the med-bay.

* * *

Aela awoke from what she could only describe as one of the best sleeps in her life. She was sprawled out across the bed and looked around in confusion. _Where is Kaidan? What time is it? Hell, what day is it?_ Her mind was still fuzzy from sleep but she managed to lift her head and look over at the Kaidan's nightstand where the clock sat. _14:55_

"Oh shit." She groaned and sat up and regretted the sudden movement as she was met with a wave of dizziness. The door hissed open and Kaidan walked in with a plastic container in hand.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked walking toward her and placing the container on the desk.  
"Why didn't you wake me up?" She hissed. He stopped mid stride taken aback by her anger.

"How about thanks honey, I haven't slept in three days and I really needed that" He said folding his arms. He had come up to check on her and see if she was hungry, he wasn't expecting her to be mad. Her expression softened and she realized he was right.

"Sorry," She sighed and cracked her neck, than looked up at him. "Thank you for letting me sleep." She said almost sounding embarrassed. He walked over and plopped down on the bed next to her.

"Of course you need your rest Aela." He said studding her. "Are you feeling ok?"

"Yea I just feel like I could go back to sleep for a few more days." She joked.

"I'm sure, you must be exhausted."

"I feel blah, I think I might be getting sick."  
"With all the stress you've been under I wouldn't be surprised if your immune system has been strained. I brought you some soup thing Vega made." He said referring to the plastic container and placed his lips to her forehead "You feel a little warm, do you want me to call up Dr. Chakwas?"  
"No I'll take some cold meds and be fine." She said getting off the bed.

"Stubborn as always." He sighed watching her as she walked over to the desk to see what this strange soup thing was.

"OH man James made posole I'm going to eat like a queen!" She said grinning.


	33. In you're eyes I'd like to stay

**A/N:** I'm sure its unlikely that tali would make a medical cybernetic but it is technically tech so yea..

* * *

Kaidan and James' heads swam in the shock. How could this happen? Kaidan sat by Aela's side in the Med-Bay listening to her monitor beat. He didn't know how she was alive but he didn't care_ how_ as long as she was. They had gone down to a planet to recover some asari scientists that were held up hiding from reaper forces. They had rescued them fine enough and were holding off the ground troops till out of nowhere, one of those Krogan things showed up, grabbed her and slammed her hard into the ground. He though she was dead for sure. But by some miracle she wasn't. She had six cracked ribs, two fractured discs and a punctured lung. Dr. Chakwas was able to repair her lung, and take care of some internal bleeding but she didn't have everything needed to repair her spine, they needed to get back to the citadel ASAP. Dr. Chakwas assured that she would recover, the damage was minimal and that she would definitely walk again. Her cybernetic implant took most of the damage, it would need repair if not to be replaced completely, which Tali was working on with Dr. Chakwas to outfit an entirely new one just in case. Joker was getting them back as fast as he could but every second seemed like an hour. Joker paged him to the cockpit when they arrived and he sprinted up there to give the Alliance Operator his Spectre codes for emergency docking protocol.

The Ride down to the hospital was hell. He felt so helpless, like he was just taking up space in the elevator as he watched the medics fuss over her. Dr. Michele had come personally to assist.

"Everything is going to be ok Major." The green eyed woman reassured him as they shuffled out of the elevator back to an operating room. Kaidan waited outside watching through the window in his armor that he hadn't bothered to change out of. He stood there blankly, just watching them work on her as his mind raced. Going over that moment over and over again is his mind. It was like watching it in slow motion at the time. _Had James not blow that fucker to hell ._He thought, chewing on the inside of his cheek, watching as they delicately transferred her to her stomach and proceeded to open up her back.

Vega showed up shortly and stood next to Kaidan, leaning up against the glass, facing him. Kaidan gave him a curious look.

"Did you need something?" He asked weakly, barely a whisper. Vega shook his head and said.

"I can't watch." He motioned behind him "But I thought I'd keep you company like moral support you know?" Kaidan nodded and gave a friendly pat to the Lieutenants shoulder.

"Thanks." He whispered.

"I came as soon as I could." Garrus said jogging over to them, followed by Liara and Tali.

"Yes C-Sec is surprisingly tight about this." Liara wondered aloud. Tali tapped the glass to get the Doctors attention and held up the new and improved cybernetic she had basically built from scratch with Dr. Chakwas. One of the medical assistants looked up and pointed to an adjoining room and headed over to it. Tali disappeared around a corner to meet the assistant. Liara suggested she and James leave so as not to crowd the hallway and they retread to the waiting area. Garrus stayed behind to render moral support and took a seat to Kaidan's left, as other medical staff rushed around them heading to their own business.

"Kaidan?" A soft voice asked from his right and he looked over in that direction, being pulled out of his trance. A slender, pale woman with blue eyes and black hair pulled into a ponytail stood staring at him. She looked familiar but he couldn't remember why. She blushed realizing he didn't recognize her.

"Caighlee." She said trying to remind him. He furrowed hi brows in confusion then remembered. The nurse Craig had convinced him to have drinks with almost a year ago.

"Oh…hi ….sorry." He said shaking his head. _God that had been such a horrible night. _He thought remembering how awkward it was. Caighlee had been very nice but also very forth coming about her attraction to him. And he hadn't felt the same. He had been ruined for every woman but Aela.

"Oh that's ok" She said with a beaming smile and walked over to him. "I'm sure you have had a lot on your plate with the war going on and all." She said sheepishly tucking a stray pieced of hair behind her ear and looking up at him through her lashes.

"Ugh yea, something like that." He said absently, returning his gaze to the action in the O.R. Caighlee sensed he was distracted and looked in to the room.

"A friend of yours?" She asked compassionately looking back up at Kaidan. Garrus saw the way this woman looked over Kaidan and thought _you are so lucky Shepard is out cold on an operating table. _

"My wife got injured." Kaidan said softly still far off in thought. Garrus had to stifle a smile as the woman's demeanor changed.

"Wife?" she whispered in confusion. Kaidan was completely oblivious to the outside world now. She gave one last look into the room.

"Well, I have to make rounds I'll see you later." She said with embarrassment and excused herself, not that he noticed. Garrus waved to her as she walked by and watched her till she was out of sight.

"WOW." The Turian marveled at how dense Kaidan was.

"hmh?" Kaidan sounded turning his head left toward Garrus but keeping his eyes on the surgery.

"Citadel to Major Alenko!" Garrus called cupping his hands around hit mandibles.

"What?!" Kaidan snapped turning his attention to the turian. Garrus stood and walked over to him

"Ugh that little thing," Garrus said quietly, gesturing to her as if she were behind him. "Was so-ho-ho coming on to you."

"Well I have no interest in her, Garrus. Remember, I'm married." Kaidan said harshly.

"Well yea I know I was there, but Shepard's going to be stuck in here a while even with accelerated healing treatments." Garrus said hoping Kaidan was 'catching his drift.'  
"So?" Kaidan asked not getting it. Garrus shook his head than continued.  
"So if whatever that was is Shepard's nurse one of these day." Garrus' voice trailed off as he saw the light bulb go off over Kaidan's head.

"Aela's going to kill her." He marveled.

"Most likely." The turian said in amusement. Kaidan rubbed his head in frustration and realized he had a small migraine. _Guess all the adrenaline kept it at bay._

"I'll cross that bridge when we come to it." He said.

"Your funeral." Garrus mumbled sitting back down.

* * *

Kaidan had resigned to sit in one of the chairs under the window. Head back against the wall ,staring at the ceiling, his right heel furiously thumbing into the ground. A little over an hour later Dr. Michele came out of the room and Kaidan snapped his head up to see Aela being transported to a recovery room. He sat up straight as Chloe approached.

"Major, everything went well there was less damage to her spine than originally thought. In fact all we really needed to do was replace her cybernetic, which went better than perfect. She is going to be here for a least a week bare minimum _with _the accelerated therapy." Kaidan sighed his relief.

"Well she won't like that but hell she could use a break." He joked.

"Agreed, you can go in and be with her but she will still be unconscious from the anesthesia. Room 240." Chloe said with a smile. As he stood and made his way toward the recovery area.  
"Thank you Dr. Michele." Kaidan said . "Oh Dr. Chakwas wanted to talk with you" he called truing to look at her, while walking backwards. She nodded her acknowledgement and he turned back around.

* * *

A/N: Technically it was a Doctor he had drinks with not a Nurse but i dint want her to be a doctor so she isn't lol


	34. Wanted

**A/N:** I was so going in another direction with this but as i wrote it it just came out all fluffy and gooey like this and i hope i didn't disappoint. If you can't tell by the cahpter name song of the chapter is Wanted by Hunter Hayes *

* * *

Aela awoke in the hospital with a gasp. Feeling lots of pain in her chest. _Fuck_. She tried to remember what happened. She remembered throwing a flare, doing three rapid backward teleports, and Kaidan screaming something at her while Vega looking like he shit himself and then…..something grabbed her….then she was slammed to the ground and she felt several cracks…then nothing till now. She heard monitors beeping and she knew she was in the hospital. She took calm breaths through the pain. She gently opened her eyes to look around and see she was alone than looked up at the clock 18:05. Aela gently twists her head from side to side to crack her neck. She lifted her head gently to look for the buzzer to call for a nurse. She found it and presses the button. She saw a nurse with black hair quickly walk up and press the button outside her door which switched off then light then come inside.

"You're up." She said happily "What did you need?" The thin women asked coming over to her side. Aela couldn't shake the feeling that she instantly hated this woman. She had no reason to but she did. The nurse had kind deep blue eyes and a good bedside manner but there's just something that made Aela want to punch her.

"It hurts to breath." She says shortly. The nurse gives her a compassionate look and said.

"Yes you crack six ribs, I'll go get you some pain killers" and quickly walked out of the room. Aela felt some pressure in her back a feeling she hadn't had in years. _This bitch better get back here quick._ After a few minutes Dr. Michele entered the room with a needle and syringe.

"Nice to see you awake Mrs. Alenko" Chloe said playfully as she administers the sedative to Aela's IV.

"Yea, yea, yea just numb me up." Aela said forcing the humor.

"Oh come now. That's no way to talk to the woman who could instantly cause you more pain." Chloe teased with a gentle smile. Aela returned the playful smile as the drug starts to take effect.

"Have you seen Kaidan?" Aela asked after a few minutes.

"Who?" Chloe asked playfully, taunting her. Aela rolled her eyes knowing Chloe knew exactly who she's talking about. She sighed her defeat, and gave the doctor what she wanted to hear.

"My husband Major Alenko, have you seen him?" Chloe gave her a wide girly smile.

"Yes, Major Alenko left twenty minutes ago to change. He was still in his armor." She tsks and looked up at the clock. "He should be back any minute now."

"Thank you." Aela said softy  
"You better get used to me. Dr. Chakwas convinced me to come along with you as additional support." Chloe said playfully

"Oh god." Aela groaned sarcastically as Dr. Michele walked to the foot of her bed and picks up the datapad hanging there.

"Don't be such a sour puss." Chloe jests as she adds some information and takes her vitals.

"If you're going to be on my ship, learn that I don't do girly." Aela said playfully. Chloe gave a melodious laugh.

"Ok Commander."

"And while you're on my ship please call me Shepard." Aela said returning to seriousness. "I don't want any unnecessary attention on us."

"Yes Commander Shepard." She agreed but continued. "While you are in my hospital, though, everything has to be in your legal name. Sorry."

"That's ok and thank you." Aela said with a kind smile.

"Oh the Major has made you soft indeed." Chloe teased. "I remember when I first met you, all cold and intimidating. And now you just smiled at me."

"I'm still intimidating." Aela said coldly. Chloe held up her hands in defense.

"That you are. But you are more friendly now as well" She pointed out. "Get some rest. I'll send a nurse over later to check you're stitches." She said exiting the room

* * *

Kaidan had stopped at five florists on different parts of the citadel, before he found the only two flowers Aela didn't despise. She, of course being the woman that she was, only likes the two rarest flowers in citadel space. But none the less he found them and hoped she would like seeing them since she was going to be in the hospital a while. He checked the time 19:25. _Shit_ Dr. Michele had sent him a message letting him know she was awake at 18:15. _I shouldn't have changed. It took too long. No Aela would have yelled at me for not changing or showering. She'll probably be mad at me for stopping to get her flowers though._ To say he was running late was and understatement. When the elevator dinged on the hospital floor he made a bee line back to her room. His hair was still wet somehow and the cold water dripped down his neck sending chills over him and damped the caller of his midnight blue t shirt. He made it to her door and couldn't stop a smile from forming when he saw the patient name on the door. _Alenko, Aela J. _He walked in and froze almost dropping the bouquet. Aela saw lying face down, bed flat, as Caighlee redressed her bandages over the stitches form her surgery. Caighlee glanced up at him and smile crossed her face, looking at him. He was so grateful that Aela's amp had busted when she was slammed. _Now she won't be able to killer her… at least not with her biotics. _ Aela's honey hazel eyes found him and lit up.

"How did you find those?" She asked with a smile looking at the flowers. Caighlee's smile faded as she looked down at Aela then back up to Kaidan.

"It wasn't easy." He said walking over to her "I had to go all the way to the Bachjret Ward to find them. Why can't you just like roses like normal women?" He teased

"Because if I was a normal woman you would love me." She responded playfully making him smile. _That's for damn sure._

"All done." Caighlee announced after wrapping her ribs and started to help Aela sit up. Kaidan was shocked Aela let her. Caighlee collected the bloody bandages and medical equipment then exited the room throwing one last glance over her shoulder at Kaidan. Aela caught it and shot her an icy stare.

"I'm surprised you let someone you don't know touch you." he admitted.

"She is certified in the medical field. It doesn't mean I enjoy it but allow it." She grumbled as she gingerly lowered herself to lay on her right side facing him. "These assholes want to keep me in here a whole week."

"At_ least_ a week." He corrected and wanted to kick himself for it when he saw her expression sink.

"Thanks." She said sarcastically. He walked over to the counter top and placed the flowers down where she could see them then returned to her side pulling the chair close.

"How are you feeling?" He asked running his right hand through her hair. She closed her eyes enjoying the feeling.

"mmm like the Kodiak fell on me." A small smile crossed his lips and he looked over her. She was in her sports bra and light blue pj shorts with white medical bandages around her ribs. Not that the bandages really did anything. All that could be done for her ribs really was to give her pain killers and tell her to take it easy.

"I'm sorry, baby. Are you cold, thirsty, or hungry maybe? I could sneak something in for you." She twisted slight to look up at him.

"I am a little hungry." He thought for a moment what she might want then remembered something she didn't know yet and thought he might surprise her.

"I know exactly what to get you I'll be back in an hour tops." He said giving her a kiss and hurried out the door. She watched after him through the window till she couldn't see him any longer. She looked over at the flowers. She could smell the lite cherry sent of the sakura blossoms and the wine colored rhodendron's. She was amazed she could smell the sakura blossom at all since it was such a soft fragrance but the room was small enough. She gently twisted about trying to get comfortable without causing too much strain, but ultimately gave up and pressed the button for the nurse.

"Are you alright?" The black haired nurse asked upon entering the room.

"Can I have some extra pillows please?" Aela asked. The nurse nodded and disappeared for a few minutes than returned with three large pillows.

"Is this too many?" Her high voice asked sheepishly.

"No that's perfect." Aela smiled. More at the pillows then the women, who helped her arrange them to make her more comfortable.

"And here just press this button to elevate or lower the bed." The Nurse said showing her the button pad on the railing.

"Thank you, miss-"Aela never got her name.

"Caighlee." She said. _Oh god that name fist her perfectly._ Aela though trying to be nice. This younger woman had never done anything to her, that she knew of, but she couldn't help not liking her. Caighlee was about to leave but she stopped short of the door and bobbled around nervously until she turned and asked

"How long have you been married to Kai- Major Alenko?" The woman blushed and Aela's eyes narrowed at her. Her mind instantly went back to the email Kaidan had sent her about Horizon. _The nurse he went for drinks with on the citadel._

"Almost two months." She said coldly. Caighlee fidgeted uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry it's none of my business." She said nervously turning around.

"No, it's not." Aela said with bite. Caighlee stiffened as if the icy words had frozen her.

"How long were you together before?" the nurse found herself asking before she could think. _The nuts on this bitch_ Aela though gritting her teeth. She thought a moment then smugly answered.

"Well technically we started dating in '83 but then I died for two years and, a crazy rich guy brought me back to life to save the galaxy again. I mean I turn my back for five seconds and the universe goes to pot…. Anyway then we got back together and now we're married" She said in all her sarcastic glory. Caighlee snapped around and eyed her sheepishly.

"Commander Shepard?" She asked almost in shock.

"The one and only." Aela said "Though now it's technically Commander Alenko."

"The woman he was so in love with…. that he couldn't get over…. was you?" She stammered out. That brought a prideful smile to Aela's face. _Couldn't get over me huh?_ She though unconcerned with this girl.

"I'm so sorry ma'am." Caighlee said shaking her head and left. Aela could let the poor girl slide for now but if she ever looked at Kaidan like that again she was going to snatch her eye out of her head and feed it to Urz. _I miss Urz._ She thought of the varren on Tuchanka getting sidetracked. * Kaidan returned ten minutes later with a plastic bag in hand. He looked her over at all the pillows that surrounded her.

"Comfortable?" He joked walking in and placing the bag on the counter and start to take foam boxes out.

"Yes actually." She said watching him. She turned slightly on to her back and tsked before she said.

"I had an interesting talk with my nurse… Caighlee." She said staring into his back as he froze. After about a minute he placed both hands on the counter and hung his head.

"Where did you hide her body?" He said trying to sound like he was joking but he really wasn't. He knew that poor girl had to be dead by now.

"What? Why would you ask that?" She said with her sarcastic/ annoyed voice as she pushed herself to sit up. He spun around quickly to look at her.

"Oh please Aela; I'm not the only who gets jealous here." He said crossing his arms.

"I haven't done a damn thing to her…." She said defiantly and looked around the room and hanging her legs off the side of the bed. "Yet."

"God damn it Aela, I told you we went for drinks that's it! It was nothing serious."

"And by nothing serious you mean what? Some light over the cloths action? Maybe a one night stand?" She asked trying to pick a fight. He grit his teeth and rubbed his right eye with his right hand knuckle placing his left hand on his hip.

"I swear to god if I have to tell you one more fucking time I am _NOT_ that kind of guy I'll-"

"You'll what? What will you do? Hit me?" She challenged. He snapped his eyes up to her more hurt then angry at the assumption that he would ever lay a finger on her….in a bad way.

"Is that how you think of me?" He whispered and he could see she felt guilty for saying it. He shook his head and continued "Look Aela, I get it. After all these years, you're still waiting for me to act like Calvin and 'put you in your place' but I'm not going to." She lowered her eyes to the ground too embarrassed to admit that yes she pushed at him sometimes to try to see if he'd snap like that. He walked over to her and pulled the chair over and sat down to look her in the eyes and took her hands into his.

"I have not kissed, nor touched, or even looked at another woman since you. The night I met Caighlee for drinks, my friend Craig had set us up on a blind date. And it was the worst night of my life. I kept nit picking everything she did and compared it to you. I'm not going to lie she did try to get in my pants." A flash of jealous swept over her eyes "BUT," He said firmly before she could say anything "I left. I tried to be nice about it. Maybe I was a little too nice." He admitted shyly  
"You always were." She said softly. A smile played on his lips.

"I know." He agreed "Hey" he said squeezing her hands lightly when she looked away. "Nayeli." She smiled

"Nayeli pi." She responded. I had been a while since she used her native language. He gave her a gentle kiss and said.

"Please stop trying to make me angry. I am NEVER going to hurt you."

"OK" She breathed.*

"Now I have a surprise for you." He said standing and retrieved the boxes from the counter and handed her one. She opened the box and saw a mouthwatering display of sushi. Her heart sank and she looked up at him

"I can't eat this I'm allergic."  
"Not anymore." He said triumphantly. "While you were out I asked if Dr. Michele if she could do anything to fix your Allergies. She took a look at your medical records and said a single gene therapy treatment could fix the food allergies but your medication allergies were another story, and being your husband I could legally sign the ok for you." He smiled at her. She had a stunned look on her face and he though she was getting mad again.

"Please don't kill me." He requested. She shook her head snapping out her trance and said.

"No, I'm not going to hurt you it just never crossed my mind to have that done."

"What? Aela Jane Shepard who thinks of everything, never thought to have a gene therapy procedure to overcome her allergies?" he teased.

"Hey." She said with mock seriousness. "It's Aela Jane Alenko, get your shit straight." He smiled at her and anxiously awaited for her to try the sushi.

"Stop staring at me, you're making me nervous." She said looking over at him

"Sorry." He said smiling and looked away, but then tried to look at her out of the corner of his eye.  
"Oh my god" She said and he snapped his head back around.  
"Good right?" He said enthusiastically.

"Oh my god this taste like shit! How can you eat that?" She said spitting it out.

"Aww man really?" He laughed and shook his head "Well lucky for you," he said getting up and procuring another box from the counter "I also bought you a teriyaki bowl just in case." He said handing it to her

"I have the best husband ever." She said smiling at him.

"Yes you really do." He boasted with a playful smug look on his face.


	35. Sweet Tooth

**A/N: **Sorry to warn you but its return of the native language sorry if those who hate it. and be prepared for and unexpected bromance

* * *

Aela paced in her hospital room so ready to be getting out of there. It had been exactly two whole days and she was over it. This was technically the start of day three.

"What the hell are you doing? Get your ass in bed." Kaidan chastised walking into the room. She threw a displeased look over her shoulder at him then gingerly sat down on the bed and scooted back fluffing a pillow and putting it in between her legs for support as she lay onto her right side.

"I feel fine." She grumbled and lied. She still felt like twenty tons of shit fell on her but she hated being stuck in a bed.

"Well even with the accelerated therapy it's going to take time for your cybernetic to bond properly to your spine and if you don't let it you could hurt yourself even worse." He reminded. She looked over him taking note of the white cardboard box he placed on the counter then took his seat next to her.

"What's in the box?" She asked, curiosity getting the best of her. He snorted.

"Oh no, you don't get to see now." He said eye balling her. "You've been a bad girl." He teased seductively. She lifted an eyebrow at him wishing she could lock the door and have her way with him. She looked at the door and calculated if she could hack it. Well she couldn't be he could though he probably wouldn't. He was too afraid of jarring her spine. She had already tried.

"I know that look, stop it." He condemned. She looked back at him and could almost see his sexual frustration on his face. She went into action and bit her lower lip and looked up at him through her lashes. He glowered at her. "Stop." He commanded. She growled her unhappiness and he smirked.

"Trust me I do not enjoy telling you that." He said and she could tell he meant it.

"I _HATE_ just laying here all day." She grumbled.

"Yea I know the feeling." He said reminding her that not that long ago it was him stuck in a hospital bed.

"I feel fine other than it's uncomfortable to breath." She said wincing and adjusting herself so she lay somewhat twisted, the pillow behind her gave cushion to her back that made it easier.  
"Well, I'm sorry my love, but you're going to have to just deal with it." He sighed, looking over her for a moment and then got up to grab the box. "Which it part of why I brought these for you." He said handing her the box. She opened it and almost died of happiness. Inside were a dozen Sugar cookies with white frosting, her favorite.

"Yea I know you and your sweet tooth all too well." He joked. She narrowed her eyes and looked up at him. _He has been a sugar Nazi to me ever since my wisdom teeth got pulled and the dentist found four cavities. God, he's like a parent sometimes._ Her mind wandered a bit.

"What's the other part of the reason you brought these?" She asked watching him like a hawk. He pressed his lips into line and looked down at her knowing she wasn't going to like what he said next.

"Hackett needs us to go check on a fuel depot on Cyone and ….since you're in here." His said slowly voice tailing off.  
"He's sending you." She finished.

"Yeah." He sighed staring at her "So I won't be able to keep you company for a few days." She looked away from him. She knew he wouldn't be able to stay by her side twenty-four seven. _I mean come on there's a war going on_. But that didn't mean she couldn't wish for it.

"Duty calls." She said dryly

"Yea….I actually have to go right now." He said sheepishly. She snapped her eyes back up to him

"Of course you do." She understood the bribe of sweets now. He gave her an _I'm sorry_ kiss

"As soon as we are done I'm coming right back" he whispered pressing his forehead to hers. "I love you."

She smiled and gave him one last kiss before responding

"Nayeli pi." He smiled and then left. She watched after him till couldn't anymore then grumbled her displeasure and twisted about. She looked down at the box and forced herself to eat a cookie. They were almost good enough to take her mind off the fact that he was gone.

* * *

Today was the day Aela's doctor was coming to examine her to either give her the ok to leave or keep her longer, and the Normandy still wasn't back. The doctor wasn't coming until noon. EDI had sent her an update that they would be scanning a few planets in the Silean Nebula before returning. But they should have been back by now. She had done everything possible to make sure she got out today. Including but not limited too actually lying in bed and not getting up unless needing to use the facilities. She lay on her left side staring out at the presidium feeling restless. She heard her door open and a smile crossed her face, she turned slowly to look toward the door and the smile faded when she saw it was Connor….Not Kaidan. She quickly hid her left hand under her pillow and greeted him in confusion.

"Connor what are you doing here?" She asked thinking he was on earth still. He stood in his heavy gear. The black armor was still dirty with a straight off the battle field look. She took note that his hair was shaved much like hers but higher up signifying he was in mourning, for what she wasn't sure. She use to buzz her hair for the same reason but now she just like it that way. He walked in and explained

"My squad heard you were injured. Hackett order me and a few others off planet. He's trying to rotate us out so we can catch a breather and not get totally burnt up. Anyway, we just arrived and I thought I'd come visit." He stood awkwardly by, not sure what to do or say. She hadn't seen him since before she died.

"Well this is awkward" she said and he laughed relaxing a little. He was like a brother to her and didn't really know what to say. He had sent a few messages here and there checking in on her since she had been with Cerberus. But since the reapers arrived he had been pretty silent she had assumed the worst

"You can sit." She said gesturing toward the chair.

"Thanks." He said and took the offer. They sat in awkward silence for a while before he said.

"Yeah, sorry I haven't checked in, in a while. It's kind of hard to find a terminal that works on earth right now"

"That's ok, I understand." She looked him over for a few minutes then asked. "How is Earth holding up?"

"It's brutal; the land is almost completely destroyed. It's as if the life of the planet itself has been sucked out." She closed her eyes and shook her head slowly.

"At least you're there I've been feeling soo…disconnected." She sighed missing the feeling of the wind and the warmth of the sunshine.

"Trust me Ahote, you are better off not being there. I'd rather feel disconnected from the land then….feel its death." He said getting lost in the thought.

"What is your mission? I can't imagine black ops, like yourself, would have anything really sophisticated going on." She asked sitting up. Keeping her left hand out of sight.

"We're doing a lot of behind the line work. Nothing dealing with reaper tech itself, planting explosives, disabling any new out postings we find, even bringing down Hades Canons here and there. But mostly just fighting, finding refugees and helping them get out. You're dad and I are doing a damn good job holding the sacred lands, but it's getting harder." He shook his head

"My dad? Connor you of all people know I don't have any parents." She said confused.  
"Didn't you get his letter?" He asked looking a little angered "I could have sworn I gave it to that muscly guard of yours when you were on Earth." The color in her face drained as she remembered the letter and thinking it was cruel joke had burned it.

"That….That letter…That was…. real?" She stuttered in disbelief.

"So you got it then?" He asked slightly confused.

"Where is he?" She asked in a panic. Yea she was mad he had sent a letter instead of visiting but the reaper invasion had a way of making people change their minds about things.  
"We were in California like I said but Hackett's having us diverted to help out in London when I get back. I'm sure the **naxánmal **is already there." She moved her left hand over her mouth forgetting why she hid it in the first place. He instantly noticed the platinum band on her finger but chose to ignore it. Caighlee walked in to check her, and eye'd Connor strangely. Aela and her hadn't spoken since the first day Aela had been admitted and she was keeping it that way so Kaidan wouldn't be made at her for killing the poor girl. Connor decided to switch to their native language to avoid eaves dropping.

"**micha su 'íiq**?" He asked

"**lóoviqan**" She said mostly lying still lost in thought over the letter and dropped her left hand next o her.

"**páliq** ?" He asked calling her bs. She huffed and answered

"'**ohóo. no- máachat** is sore." she admitted returning to the reality that he was in the room.

"I'm sure." He chuckled lightly looking her over. Given all the pillows she must be pain. She looked over at him wanting to change the subject off herself.

"**micha su 'íiq**?" She asked.

"**miyu móya-**" he sighed and stretched then walked over to the door and looked out the window.

"I'm sure you are." She said taking note of the dark circles under his eyes

"**míikinga** **loví'i 'om ngée ivá'** ?" He asked rather sheepishly throwing a glance over his shoulder

"**pitóo,** Hopefully." She said a little agitated. She really didn't want to stay here any longer.

"**óonu polóov**" He smiled. Caighlee left and he felt it safe to return to English.

"If you have time I would like to see you." He requested somewhat embarrassed. She looked at him and asked

"What are you seeing now?" She teased

"Outside of the hospital." He corrected rolling his eyes and looked back out the window. She thought for a moment than answered  
"We'll see." He didn't say anything thinking it best not to press.

"I should go now." He said looking through the window and off to the right he saw Kaidan walking up.  
"Why?" She asked looking at him confused.  
"**'om -kúung ivá'**" he said turning to give her one last look, her heart skipped a beat. _he knows._ He was about to walked out the door but Kaidan walked in at the same time. She stared stunned at the two not sure who was going to throw the first punch, but oddly neither of them seemed angry at the others presence. Connor held out his hand to Kaidan and Aela though a brick would fall out of her ass when Kaidan took it in a hand shake.  
"Major Garrison, been a while." Kaidan said. Aela couldn't read his body language he appeared relaxed. Hell he even looked happy.

"That it has, Commander." Connor said calmly as well  
"Actually it's Major now." Kaidan corrected as if he were speaking to an old colleague he hadn't seen in a while.

"Congratulations." Connor genuinely sounded happy for him. Aela watched this carnival side show for a good ten minutes as they talked about the war on earth, Kaidan's promotion, and Connor's shore leave like good friends that hadn't seen each other in years.

"Wait you two know each other?" She finally spoke up in confusion. They both looked over at her like they had forgotten she was even on the room.

"Oh yea, interesting story actually." Kaidan started. "He punched the shit out of me at your memorial service, but then apologized like three weeks later and we just stayed in contact since. He's a pretty good guy."  
"Thank you" Connor said like it was a great award. "And Alenko-"

"Please it's Kaidan." Kaidan interrupted  
"Kaidan here is a really great guy, very honorable." Connor corrected with an appreciative head nod.

Aela sat staring at the two as if she had been sucked into an alternate dimension.

"Well I have to go change and take a nap I'll catch up with you guys later." Connor said then retread out of the door. Kaidan gave a friendly wave. Aela had to lie back down, to stop the spinning feeling.

"You ok?" Kaidan asked taking the seat next to her.

"Yea I think." She said still in wonder. Last time she had seen Connor she thought he would for sure kill Kaidan had they ever met. "I'm just a little dizzy."

"Do you need me to get you some water?" He asked with concern in his voice, she shook her head lightly no.

"Alright, Mrs. Alenko. Time to check your progress." Dr. Herrington said as she walked in. and that was all it took to perk Aela's day up.

* * *

**naxánmal **= old man **micha su 'íiq**= how are you? **lóoviqan** =I'm fine **páliq **=really **'ohóo=**yes **no-** = my **máachat= **back

**miyu** = i am** móya-** =tired **míikinga= **when **loví'i=** do** 'om = **you** ngée = **leave** ivá'= **here **pitóo** = now/today

**óonu** = that **polóov** = good **-kúung = **husband** ivá = **here


	36. Stop Teasing me

**A/N:** Wow such smutt... yea i mean ...that's all this chapter is...

* * *

Aela was beyond ecstatic. She was finally free. Everything had healed up nicely. Her Cybernetic bonded perfectly, and her cracked ribs had refused and were now only bruised, though still uncomfortable. The doctor gave her a proscription for some _strong _painkillers and told her to take it easy as best she could and sent her on her way. And now she was enjoying some down time with Kaidan on the presidium balcony. He had procured them some wine as the artificial lighting mocked the sunset.

"I missed you." Kaidan said taking the seat next to her and kissing the top of her head. "It was hard to sleep in that room alone. I mean it was so…..quiet."  
"Are you trying to say I'm loud?" She teased accepting the warm glass of Thessia sweet red.  
"Not like that it was just…weird. I mean I was acutely aware of the fact that I was alone…..except for the hamster."

"Hammy." She corrected taking a sip of her wine.

"What?" He asked in confusion  
"His name is Hammy." She said nonchalantly.  
"Hammy the hamster….. You're shitting me right?" He asked looking at her hoping she was kidding.

"No" She said watching the sky cars, not noticing his look.

"Wow." He said slow and somewhat exaggerated as he sat back and took a drink of his wine.

"I'm a simple girl Major." She said playfully.

"You are neither simple nor a girl Commander." He teased.

"I'm not a girl huh?" She asked making a look at him as if to ask _then what am I_?  
"No, ma'am. You are all woman." He said seductively into her ear.

"I'll take that" She breathed

"Yay, you will…" She looked up at him slightly surprised at his bluntness with a smile. He looked stunned as if he had been slapped and asked. "Did….Did I just… say that out loud?"  
"Yes in fact you did." She said with a soft chuckle  
"Crap." He sighed in embarrassment

"Feeling a little deprived there, Major?" She purred into his ear.

"What, I don't know what you're talking about." He said trying to play off his earlier slip up.

"mmmhhhmm sure". She was determined to torture him for every moment she had been in that hospital bed without him. Oh but not in the outright sort of way. Oh no. In the subtle art of seduction she had mastered over him. First she relaxed into him, under his right arm and gently rested her head against him. Then she glided the fingertips of her left hand over his right thigh for just short enough of a few seconds to make him guess if she had don't that on purpose or not before raising her left hand to adjust her shirt. Then resting said hand delicately on his leg, palm hanging loosely barely touching his inner thigh, and proceeding to act as though she wasn't paying attention to his slight spike in heart rate as she took another sip of her wine. She heard his breathing hitch ever so slightly when her hand airily slide over his inner thigh on its way to brush a 'piece of dirt' off of her chest. She could feel his eyes wondering over her body and had to suppress a smirk. What happened next was uncalculated but worked in her favor as her wine splashed up ever so slightly and dripped down the side of her mouth and down her neck. He grabbed a napkin for her and watched her lustfully as she dabbed it away making sure none got on her shirt and got the drop that had dared slid down into her cleavage.

"Thank you." She said softly making sure her voice was smooth as satin when she stood and threw the napkin away. She saw the look in his eyes as he tried to keep his demeanor casual. She returned to her place under his arm and gently turned and planted a soft kiss on his jawline as he took another drink. A place she knew was just sensitive enough to send a spark of desire through him but just casual enough for him to not pick up on her schemes. She heard the soft sound the escaped his throat when she did.

"You ok? You're feeling a little warm." She asked not giving anything away. He cleared his throat and answered.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" She asked and slid her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes enjoying the sensation.

"mhm." He sighed.

"Do you want more?" She asked taking note of their empty glasses. He lazily looked over the glasses and said.

"No. I'm good." She took his glass from him and returned them to the attendant.

"Let's walk around a little. I've been stuck in a bed for a week I need to stretch my legs." She said and held her hand out to him.

"Where would you like to go?" He asked taking her hand and standing. She thought for a moment the said.

"We haven't been down to the markets in a while, why don't we walk around there for a bit?"

"Ok" He smiled and they walked hand in hand toward the elevator. She continued her subliminal assault with 'accidental' touches, and well calculated looks. Down to the way she simply said a word. After about thirty minutes of walking around he walked up behind her and placed his arms around her waist and whispered into her ear.

"I don't know what it is but, I think we need to get back to the Normandy." His voice was husky at the suggestion. She couldn't contain her smirk anymore and asked innocently.

"Oh, why?"

"Because I've_ missed_ you." He said trailing kisses down her neck. She pretended not to catch the meaning and stretched, placing her arms up and around his neck as she lengthened from the waist up allowing his hands to glide down her curves.

"Well, I missed you too honey. I am feeling a little tired I guess we should get back." She said and trotted off toward the elevator with him in close suit. To her amazement, he had contained himself exceptionally well all the way up to the docking bay and through the air lock of the Normandy. He even kept his cool as she stopped to talk to Joker and EDI and several other crew members, who welcomed her back. He was good up until the elevator doors slid such and she pressed the button for deck one. Then she saw him do something on his omni-tool and grabbed her and pulled her to him enveloping her in a passionate kiss. He held her tight to him and she could feel his arousal against her hip.

"What brought this on?" She asked breathlessly as he kissed down her neck sending fire all over her body.

"Oh please. " He breathed through the kisses. "You don't think I know you've been teasing the shit out of me for over an hour?"

"What?" she asked trying to sound innocent.

"Oh don't give me that crap." He growled returning his mouth to her and unbuttoning her jeans. He attempted to place his hand down her pants but she stopped him.

"Oh no. You don't get it that easily." She purred and he pulled away staring at her in disbelief.

"What's the fun in just giving it to you?" She said seductively and walked out of the elevator when the doors opened. He stared after her for a while unsure of what just happened then fallowed her into the room. He felt himself throb with need when she slid her pants off showing off her backside purposefully in her purple booty shorts. She tossed her jeans into the hamper then twisted her arm up and unclasped her bra and hung it over the chair. She turned around to face him looking him up and down as she walked over to her desk and leaned over it as she opened her laptop and looked over messages she had missed._ Two can play at this _He thought as he walked into the room fully, undoing his ACU top and tossed it into the hamper then took a seat on the couch and undid his boots and set them aside. He walked up by her pulling the painkillers out of his pocket and placed them on the desk than pulled his pants off and tossed them into the hamper with his top, and sat back down in his boxer-briefs and under shirt and proceeded to mess around with his omni-tool pretending not to pay any attention to her, which was exceptionally difficult with his raging hard on. He saw her out of his peripherals perk up and look through the glass over at him with a lifted eyebrow. She looked thoroughly annoyed that he wasn't playing her game. He lost sight of her again but heard her make a pained grown before walking over to the bed and lay down on her right side in the middle of the bed, facing away from him.

"Are you ok?" He asked nonchalantly only tossing her a glance. He doubted that she would fake pain to get him in bed but he was still going to keep his wits about him.

"Yea." She sighed "Just really sore. I actually have more pain in my lower back then my ribs." He remembered all too well the pain she use to have constantly in her back. He turned his omni-tool off and went over to her to check her back and give her a massage. He gently pushed her hips toward the bed forcing her to lie on her stomach and lifted her shirt exposing the newest scar on her back. It was barely visible in contrast with the others but he could see it. She didn't object as he lay down on his right side next to her and gently rubbed her lower spine with his left hand, feeling around the cybernetic piece. She hummed her approval and the sound mixed with her soft skin was maddening.

"Do you need a painkiller?" He asked softly

"No." she said sleepily. "doc did said I might have some pain here and there until the cybernetic fully kicks in." He gave an acknowledging hum and decided to take his chances. He scooted closer to her under the pretense of better mobility. He delicately massaged her lower back and gently worked his way lower. Over her hips, then her thighs, planting a kiss on her lower back, hip and settling on her thigh before she asked.

"What are you doing?" barely above a whisper.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked huskily hovering over her thighs, his amber eyes looking up at her.

"No." she said giving up on her whiles. He dragged his lower lip up the back of her thigh, and gave a gentle nibble on her backside, before continuing his assent up her back. He repositioned himself over her on his knees and putting most of his weight on his left hand, while trailing soft kisses up her spine while his right hand slide over her curves, pulling her shirt up, then under her over her stomach. She pushed her hips up against his and lifted her head back as his lips found their way to her neck. He sat up on his knees and lifted her up to him with his right arm around her waist and pulled her shirt off. He wrapped his arms around her waist again as he kissed across her shoulders then gently turned her head towards him with his right hand to kiss her lips, then back down her jawline as she lifts her head toward the ceiling to give him a path. He wrapped his right arm around her waist again and slowly lowered them back to the bed putting his weight back on his left hand. He glided his right hand down the length of her and settled on her hip between her thigh and hip bone as he placed his forehead in between her shoulder blades and pressed his hips into hers. He pushed himself up to his knees again as he slides her panties off and tosses them behind him along with his under shirt than gentle flips her over to her back with his left hand. He creates a tingling path of kisses starting on her hip bone and traversing over her stomach then to suckle on each puckered nipple before continuing his assent to her chest and up her neck. His right hand skims her left thigh and pulls her knee up over his hip, while his left hand lowers him down to his forearm.

"Kaidan?" She said trying to get his attention as he kissed across her chest.

"hmm?" he sounded not stopping his lips examination of her skin.

"It's been a week we can skip the foreplay." She said eliciting a soft chuckle form him. He looked up at her for a moment with a raised eyebrow.

"I agree but you seemed hell bent on dragging this out." He purred and she instantly regretted her earlier choices. She sighed her frustration as he continued to kiss down her stomach again, and positioned himself between her legs then kissed her thighs with slow agenizing detail.

"Kaidan please." She protested softly and felt him grin on her thigh.

"Please what?" He taunted coyly. She turned her head and looked down at him.

"You know what." She said with annoyance. His eye grew dark with desire but all he said was.

"No, I don't." She closed her eyes and forced herself to say

"Please stop teasing me." He shuffled a bit and then came back up to her.

"How am I teasing you?" He asked softly looking down at her. She opened her eyes slowly and looked up at him.

"You know how." He turned his head curiously to the side.

"Hhm. Kind of like how you were teasing me earlier." He said. She clenched her teeth together and admitted.

"Yes." She could see him actively trying to stifle a smile. He lowered his head to hers and let his lips hover above hers barely touching and asked.

"Kind of back fire on you huh?" She rapidly nodded her head yes. She felt his right need nudge her left thigh open gently and her heart rate spiked in anticipation. He twisted a little and she could feel his silky tip against her slick entrance.

"You're so wet I could just do this." He said and he pressed his hips forward and slid into her in once fluid movement. She closed her eyes and moaned her happy approval as he filled her. A feeling that was quickly ended when he removed himself from her placing his tip back at her entrance and said

"_Oh no. You don't get it that easily. What's the fun in just giving it to you_" He quoted her verbatim. She snapped her eyes opened to his fully believing she was going to kill him, until once again he slid home. Eliciting another moan of joy and returning her eyes to the back of her skull. He pulsed his hips slowly, remaining in complete control, much to her annoyance. He lowered his head next to hers

"Kaidan please." She whimpered begging for him to pick up the pace.

"Please what?" He asked softly into her ear, his hot breath sending shivers down her body. She remained silent longer then he wanted her to and gave her a small preview of what she really wanted with a quick buck of his hips. She gave a long happy moan that almost made him lose control. He recomposed himself and asked.

"Is that what you want?" she nodded her head rapidly hoping that would be enough for him to continue.

"Say it." He demanded. Once again she took too long to answer and he began to retract himself from her but she wrapped her legs around his waist holding him there and said breathlessly.

"Yes that's what I want." Her admission was all it took and he happily gave her what she asked for. He gave into his desire and she rewarded him with moans of joy. He lost count of how many times she called in name out in ecstasy before giving her his own rough grunt of satisfaction. He knew it was no less than five at least. He dropped down to her left and pulled her close to him. They laid there, content, for several minutes before she said.

"Don't ever torture me like that again."

"You started it." He retorted quickly.

"No, no, no I didn't start_ that. _I had only intended to build up the anticipation, not drag it out to the point of insanity." She said playfully looking up at him from her place under his arm.

"I believe I gave into you in the elevator and you decided to drag it out past that. I was just repaying the favor." He said looking down at her reminding her of her choices.

"Fine, I will never tease you like that again." She said.

"Oh I'm not the one who was annoyed." He teased. She gave him a playful pat on his stomach. "What?" He laughed. She rolled her eyes in response and he kissed the top of her head.

"How is your back?" He asked after a few minutes remembering how she ended up on the bed in the first place.

"It's not bad. Nothing like is use to be before my implant."

"Tell me the truth. Did your back really hurt, or were you just trying to get in my pants?" He asked letting his curiosity win.

"No honey my back actually hurts." She said lightly laughing.


	37. Gunny

**A/N:** Ok so playing through ME3 again i was talking to joker and he told me about his little sister and dad on tiptree and i did some digging and found how sad it really is that his sister died and dad died in the game but he didnt know what happened to them. So i did a major rewrite here hope you like. It does divert from Shenko love for a bit sorry.

* * *

Aela had another sleepless night so she decided to sit at the table in the mess instead of keeping Kaidan up. She was going over datapads, when EDI approached her so quietly she almost didn't hear the AI.

"Jesus, EDI. You scared me." Aela gasped when EDI came into view next to her.

"I am sorry Commander." The AI reassured.

"Did you need something?" Aela asked when EDI stood silently watching her.

"Not exactly, I have a request to make on Jeff's behalf."

"Joker sent you down here to ask me something?" Aela asked in confusion putting down the datapad and turning her attention to EDI.  
"No, he is sleeping. He is not aware that I am approaching you about this."  
"Ok. What did you want to ask?"  
" Jeff has been searching the extranet for news about Tiptree. When I asked him why, he told me his father and sister are there. I have been monitoring any news updates I can about the small colony. I just received an update that reaper forces have arrived on Tiptree. We are not far from the colony; would we be able to render assistance? I have also located a few of Major Alenko's recruits there as well." EDI asked.

"How far is it from us?" Aela asked rubbing her eyes. She was so exhausted but just couldn't sleep.

"A few hours." Aela thought for a moment, face in hands. _Joker never complains or asks for anything, why not._

"Set a course." Aela said quietly rubbing her temples.

"Thank you Shepard." EDI said and Aela could hear the gratitude in her voice.

"Don't mention it. Literally." She said sitting back feeling a wave of dizziness and nausea sweep over her.

"Are you feeling alright?" the AI asked.

"I'm fine." She sighed and picked up her datapad with her right hand, while her left held her head up.

"Might I suggest you attempt to get some sleep? I could wake Major Alenko up to assist you." EDI said attempting to implicate an innuendo.

"Don't wake him and what do you mean assist me?" Aela asked the second half looking up at the AI suspiciously.

"Nothing." EDI said with a playful tone and trotted off.

* * *

"Ok EDI, Vega you're with me. Garrus, Javik you go with Kaidan. Radio us if you need anything." Aela ordered as the shuttle dropped them off. Kaidan's team headed south.

"EDI what can you tell me about the area we are headed to?" Aela asked as they started their way west.  
"It is comprised mostly of farm land. An Asari commando unit was sent here a few days ago to evacuate but none have reported in since."

"Fantastic. Ok stay sharp people." _Just once I'd like to not run into a shit storm._ She thought.

They made decent time getting to the main farm were EDI said Joker's dad and sister were last he knew about. Aela wasn't liking the odds of finding anyone alive. All they had come across so far were marauders and husks. Any colonist they found were mostly corpses, and the occasional newly orphaned child here and there. They cautiously entered the main store house being greeted by reaper bodies left and right.

"Hello?" Shepard called after hearing a soft sound near the back. The team ventured in slowly and she signaled for Vega to take the right perimeter while she took the left.

"I'm Commander Shepard of the Alliance Navy." She heard a faint whimpering and then sounds of someone definitely trying to stifle another person.

"I'm here to help." She tried to reassure as she heard harsh whispering of threats to from one person to another just up ahead of her behind some crates. Aela quietly approached and peered around the crates corner and saw an Asari and a young girl about fifteen years old. They were seated on the floor the girl clutched at her ankle in pain.

"If you don't shut up, you'll give our position away." The asari hissed harshly to a girl, clutching her right hand over the girl's mouth. The asari was shaking clearly afraid, with a pistol in her left hand. Aela did not like this. She would have normally tried to talk the asari down without making any sudden movement but that was thrown out when the asari raised her pistol to the young girls head.

"I'm sorry." The asari whispered shakily and Aela had no choice but to act. She came round the corner quickly placing her own pistol to the Asari's head.

"Drop you're weapon now." Aela commanded. The asari froze in terror and the young girl looked up at Aela. Her dark green eyes had a mixture of relief and fear. "Let go of the girl." She ordered as Vega came around the other side of the crates and raised his assault rifle to the asari.

"She's going to get us all killed." The asari squealed nervously and gripped the girl tighter, her finger shakily on the trigger. Aela cocked her pistol and once again demanded she let the girl go.

"I can't do that. I don't want them to find me!" The deranged asari shouted about to pull the trigger on the girl but Aela beat her to it. The asari slumped forward and the girl was too shocked to say anything, she just watched the asari's body flop lifelessly to the ground.

"I'm Commander Shepard, are you alight?" Aela asked holstering her pistol and kneeling next to the girl. The girl looked over at Aela stunned and shook her head to snap out of it.

"Yes, I'm, I'm ok. I hurt my ankle trying to get away from those things. I can't walk on it." The girl stammered out gabbing at her left ankle. Aela wasn't a doctor but she could see it was broken.

"We're going to get you out of here don't worry. Do you know if anyone else made it out?" Aela asked examining the girl's ankle. The girl shook her head.

"No. I'm all that's left. They got my dad and everyone else." She managed to say through her tears.

"James, grab her and let's get back to the ship." Aela ordered standing and looking around.

"Don't worry, I got you." Vega said trying to calm her as he scooped her up off the ground.

"You wouldn't happen to know a girl about your age named Hilary Moreau would you?" Aela asked feeling doubtful.

"I'm Hilary." The girl choked out. "Wait you said you're Commander Shepard? Does that mean my brother's-?"

"Here yes." Aela said finishing her sentence as they walked back out of the store house. "EDI tell Joker we got her and we're headed back now."

* * *

"Vega, take her up to the med-bay." Aela said getting off the shuttle, starting to undo her armor. It felt tighter than usual. Kaidan's two students were the only ones who had survived the attack. They had gone in with the Commandos and had headed south to help another colony when the reapers arrived.

"Never thought we'd see you again Major." The blonde guy said as they got off the shuttle looking back at Kaidan.

"Like wise. Luckily Commander Shepard felt the need to assist." Kaidan said gesturing to her.

"That's Commander Shepard?" the shorter brunette guy asked looking her over. "She's hot." He said barely above a whisper leaning into Kaidan.

"What it, Corporal." Kaidan growled walking past them to Aela. Aela smirked to herself hearing the jealousy in Kaidan's voice. She had been eavesdropping while she hung up her outer armor in her locker. She started to unzip her under suit when she lost her balance momentarily feeling light headed. She caught herself on the locker and Kaidan got her by the waist.

"You ok?" He asked holding her close.

"Yea just got little light headed for a moment." She said softly leaning against him.

"You've been feeling like this for a little over a month now, shouldn't you go talk to Dr. Chakwas about it?" He asked with concern.

"No, it's fine. Just stress." She said shaking her head and regaining her balance, with his arm still around her.

"Woo Major!" The two boys jeered from the middle of the shuttle by. Kaidan rolled his eyes at them.

"Jensen, O'Brian get up to the Med-bay on deck 3 and get checked out." He ordered over his shoulder at the two.

"Yes Sir." The boys saluted and walked past them to the elevator. Aela looked over Kaidan turned on by the display. Kaidan watch the two until the doors shut then looked back down at Aela.

"What?" He asked looking over her curious expression. Nothing she chirped and pulled her jumpsuit off. Kaidan re-positioned himself behind her as she changed.

"We need to get a dressing room or something down here." He said unclipping his black armor.

"Why?" she asked pulling her white tank over her head and buttoning up her jeans, and tossing a look over to him as he placed his armor in his own locker leaving him in his under suit.

"So you can stop putting on a show before every mission." He said in annoyance unzipping his suit and pulling it off. She stopped and watched him strip to his underwear and then pull on his fatigues.

"I'm putting on a show?" She asked watching him and chewing on her lower lip. He looked over to her and rolled his eyes as he buttoned up his top and walked over to her.

"The point of wearing underwear was so that people don't see the goodies." Aela teased giving his backside a playful squeeze. He gave her a smirk and places a loving kiss on her lips.

"Nayeli." He said. He used her native language mostly when he didn't want others around them to understand their conversation. Not that he always understood the conversation himself since he wasn't very fluent in it. She smiled and said.

"Nayeli pi. Now I better go check on Hilary." She said and retreated to the elevator.

* * *

Aela stood arms folded, out of habit not anger, as she watched Dr. Michele finish wrapping Hilary's ankle.

"Gunny!" Joker said with joy as he hobbled into the med-bay and over to the girl. Aela looked up at him.

"Jeff" the girl reciprocated the happiness upon seeing him and threw her arms around him when he came close enough.

"Ugh, Gunny, my pancreas." He hissed under her hug, which couldn't have been that tight but knowing his disease it much have been a lot.

"Sorry." She said retracting her arms.

"It's ok I'm glad you're alright." He looked around uncomfortably and slowly asked. "Did…Dad…" Hilary shook her head, lowing her eyes to floor as tears pooled in her eyes. He patted her gently on the back.

"Don't worry. We still have each other." He said reassuringly.

"What's the damage?" Aela asked trying to leave the two be.

"The break was clean. It should have no trouble healing but she will need to be on crutches and have at least 3 accelerated healing sessions." Dr. Michele informed.

"Do we have the equipment for that?"

"We most definitely do." Chloe said heading over to the desk to file a report.

"Thanks again, Commander." Joker said with sincerity. "I had EDI set a course for the citadel so we can drop everyone off."  
"What, no! I want to stay with you Jeff." Gunny protested with anxiety building.

"Well I want you to stay too but this ship isn't the place for a kid, I'm sorry." He said in defeat. Aela looked over the teenager for a moment. She reminded her of Elise, all alone, parents gone all she had left was her older brother. Much like how Elise only had Aela and Ciara.

"We have a skeleton crew Joker; there is more than enough room for her." Aela said dryly.

"What? Are you sure Commander?" Joker asked stunned.

"Make yourself useful and don't get in my way." Aela said coldly to the girl and made her way out of the med-bay.

"Thank you, Commander Shepard." Gunny said softly to Aela's back.


	38. Missleading

**A/N:** OK really short Chapter sorry. I have like the next 4 Chapters written already but I keep going over them and rewritting and fixing and yea sorry for the delay peeps.

* * *

Aela, Kaidan, Gunny, Joker, EDI, James, Garrus, Liara, Cortez and Tali all stood in the Airlock waiting for the door to open so they could hit the citadel. They survivors had gone down to the refugee camp already and Kaidan's students had made their way to the embassy to report in. The door slid open and everyone began to disperse, accept for EDI, Joker and Gunny.

"Well where would you like to go? I know it's your first time here." Joker asked is sister who was taking in the site of the citadel.

"I don't know where do you usually go?" She asked him distractedly.

"Ugh you are not old enough to go there." He said in his usual tone.

"Perhaps you would like to visit the refugee camp below us. A shuttle from Tiptree arrived a few days ago with mostly children under the age of 17. Maybe some of your friends were on it." EDI offered. Anybody who had eyes could tell the young girl wasn't ready to deal with going down there. Hell, the idea of Gunny being stuck in that place was one of the reasons Aela had allowed the teen to stay on the Normandy with them. It was easy to see that Joker was torn. He wanted to spend time with his younger sister but he didn't know what she would like to do. This place was pretty boring even for adults.

"No can do, people. Gunny you're running errands with me today." Aela said coldly offering an out for both parties. This way Joker could spend time with EDI and Gunny could look around the place. "I told you, you had to be useful and I need help." The Commander finished when everyone turned to look at her. Joker looked as though he might protest but Aela shot him her cold _I'm the boss _look and thought it best to say nothing.

"Sorry." He said to Gunny, giving her a sympathetic hug.

"It's ok" She shrugged. "If it means I get to say with you, I'm fine with it." She said to her brother with a smile and hobbled over to the Commander with the help of her crutches. EDI and Joker made their way to the elevator and headed down to purgatory.

"Don't torture her, please. She has a broken ankle" Kaidan said the soft command stepping close in front of Aela to make sure she heard him.

"Relax. Nothing we are doing has her carrying anything" Aela reassured to him.

"What do you need me to do?" Gunny asked coming up beside Aela. She handed the girl a datapad.

"This is a list of all the a-holes that have asked me to pick up crap around the galaxy for them. We need to find them." Shepard informed. Kaidan's eyebrows shot up in surprise and asked

"Did you just say a-holes instead of cussing?" She gave him an annoyed look. "I'm proud of you." He said playfully. Gunny looked over the list carefully.

"It looks like the first guy is on the presidium." She informed sounding older and more professional. Aela smiled. _Straight to business_, _I like her already._

"Oh God," Kaidan sighed. "You've already started to turn her into you." He teased.

"Is that really a bad thing? I mean I am the best right?" Aela asked and Gunny took note of Shepard's more relaxed demeanor. Kaidan narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously than turned to Gunny.

"If she makes you do anything illegal, you tell me ok?" He said pointed a finger at Aela.

"Oh come on Kaidan it's not like I'm going to have her help me assassinate a politician." Aela said looking around playfully. "Yet" She teased after a pause. Gunny smiled and laughed softly to herself at the way these two were joking around with each other. Kaidan shook his head slowly at Aela, who smiled up at him. Gunny found them very interesting. Commander Shepard was intimidating and came off as cold and callused, but when Major Alenko was around she was almost a different person. The Commander smiled and made jokes and even relaxed down to slightly intimidating instead of full blow scary.

"Thank You Gunny," Aela said turning her attention over to the teen. Her expression softened and she asked. "Have you been to the Sweet Market?"

"Oh, no! NO, no, no" Kaidan protested. "I see what you're really doing. No. You are using a teenager to go to the candy store." He said folding his arms.

"What? Never." Aela said playfully rolling her eyes at him.

"No last time you went down there you spent three hundred credits on sour belts, jelly beans, cola gummies and those peanut butter ball things." He reminded waving his hand at the last part.

"If I remember correctly you ate all the peanut butter things." She teased.

"Yea I know I did," He said smiling. "Which is why you can't by more, I'm trying to watch my figure."

"Whatever, Gunny lets go" Aela said walking past Kaidan and gestured for Gunny to fallow.

"Aela" Kaidan started to protest but she turned to look at him walking backwards and asked

"Don't you have some Spectre reports to file?"

"Aw shit." He hissed under his breath.


	39. The Truth Shall Set You Free

**A/N:** Sorry for taking to long to post i keep getting distracted.

* * *

"OK, Gunny, do you think you can do that?" Aela asked the teen after showing her how to dismantle and properly clean her assault rifle.

"Yes ma'am" The Young girl responded like a true military recruit.

"Fantastic. Now clean every weapon in the armory." Aela said handing Gunny her pistol. She took it and sat down at the work bench, eager to succeed. Aela liked that. She didn't complain she just did the job she was given and did it to her absolute best.

"Ok Cortez it's that time again." Aela said playfully kicking off her boots and socks so she was bare foot in her Capri workout leggings and tank and made her way to the center of the Shuttle Bay.

"Hold on, hold on. I almost have everything tied down." Cortez called from behind the Kodiak.

"Awe, hurry up." Aela teased folding her arms and tapping her foot pretending to be impatient. After a few minutes Cortez came round to face here.

"Ok, ok boss lady. Have at it. But please go gentle on the real equipment." He playfully begged walking backwards toward the elevator.

"I'll try." She said sarcastically. "EDI, load the program please."

"Very well Shepard." EDI complied. Aela's dark energy swirled around her in anticipation. Gunny stole a glance over to Shepard as the holographic enemies appeared. The teen watched in awe as Shepard fought the holograms with only her biotics. She looked like a beautiful dancer, flowing around in a cloud of purple black energy, throwing holographic enemies and biotic flares, teleporting through crates to surprise enemies with biotic kicks and punches as well as regular hand to hand combat. Gunny was never more thankful for her ability to multitask as she was now. Otherwise she would be seriously lacking in her duties. Gunny watched and worked for about fifteen minutes before the elevator door dinged and Kaidan stepped out. He walked over to his locker and pulled out his M-55 Argus and Paladin pistol, then took a seat next to gunny at the bench. The teen eyed him nervously then said.

"Commander Shepard ordered me to clean all the weapons so you really don't need to do that." She stammered shyly as he started to dismantle his assault rifle.

"Oh I know, EDI told me she had you cleaning weapons. I'm a real control freak about my weapons, so I thought I'd come down and keep you company." He said with a kind smile. She relaxed slightly and they continued their task quietly for a few minutes. Gunny gave a startled jump when a sound similar to glass breaking sounded to her right and looked nervously in that direction. Kaidan barely gave a glance over his assault rifle.

"Don't worry." He said reassuringly. "There's a safety line right before the consoles. That sound was one of the holographs passing over it. Or should I say being thrown over it." He corrected and gestured toward Aela. Gunny turned to look just a. Shepard biotically threw another enemy over the line and it shattered once again making the noise. Gunny paused momentarily to watch once again.

"She must really like combat." The teen mused and returned to her work. Kaidan chuckled softly.

"That she does, but her biotics are also very over charged if she doesn't do something about it at least once every few days….." he paused and though for a moment how to word his next sentence. "Well, she says it's like being given a shot of adrenaline and being told to sit still."

"That's awesome," The teen said looking over at Shepard in action again. Kaidan gave the teen a curious look. "Well not the feeling like you're going to have a heart attack part." She corrected.

"Her cool down time is crazy fast too." He continued. "She can almost constantly use her biotics. Her Teleport she can always use but if she throws a Flare everything takes a little longer."

"How does she do that teleport thing?" She asked. Kaidan stopped and looked over at the girl.

"I have no idea." He admitted. They heard a hard slam and both looked up and saw one of the holograms had gotten ahold of Shep and had pinned her by her throat against the Kodiak. Kaidan didn't think he just went into action dropping his weapon on the table and ran across the safety line, his own biotics coming to life. He threw a few enemies that tried to charge him and used a pull on the one who had Aela. She slid to ground and coughed a few times.

"Terminate program." she choked out to EDI who responded promptly.

"You ok?" He asked kneeling down to her. She nodded her confirmation. "Did you have EDI take off the safety protocols again?" She said nothing but he knew the answer was yes. He stood and held out his hand to help her up. She took it and he pulled her up against him.

"You need stop trying to get yourself killed." He teased giving her a long tight hug.

"No promises." She replied "I'm going to go shower and lay down" She said giving him a kiss. "Nayeli." She said before heading to the elevator.

"Nayeli pi." He replied and headed back to the weapons bench.

"What was that language you used?" Gunny asked sheepishly a few minutes after the elevator closed. Kaidan hadn't though she had heard them so the question took him somewhat by surprised. She blushed and stared intently at the sniper rifle she had started to clean when he looked over at her.

"Sorry never mind it's my business. I wasn't eavesdropping I swear." She began apologizing fiercely.

"No, it's ok." He said softly making her stop. "It's, uh, her native language."

"Oh. How do you know it? If you don't mind me asking?" She asked awkwardly.  
"She taught me a little, a long time ago." He said focusing on reassembling his rifle.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so nosey." She started to apologize again but he stopped her.

"It's ok really. Our relationship isn't exactly hush-hush around here."

"I thought the Alliance didn't allow married couples to serve on the same ship?" She blurted out. He froze momentarily then replied

"Usually no, but given there is a war on, it's quite low on the Richter scale."

"Oh." She seemed satisfied with the answer and sat silently working.

"Yea we don't hide that we are married but we didn't tell anyone either, so if you could not say anything that would be appreciated." He requested.

"Oh o –ok." She agreed with a strange look on her face.

* * *

Vega sat at the table in the common area watching Kaidan and Aela in the kitchen and couldn't help but feel jealous. Kaidan has his arms round her waist, asking her questions about what she was making as she gave soft laughs and answered him for the hundredth time.

"It's an autumn soup, Ground beef, carrots, corn, potatoes, green beans, onions, and tomatoes all in water, which turns into a yummy broth." She said softly.

"It smells good." He said kissing the side of her head softly. Vega felt like he was staring into their private home.

"You two are so adorable." Cortez said coming around the coroner from the elevator with Gunny close behind. Vega was surprised Shepard had allowed the teen to stay aboard. Not because he thought she was mean or anything, she just didn't come off as a kid person. Kaidan and Aela threw a happy glance over to them. Vega snapped his attention back to the datapad in front of him.

"Hey." Kaidan greeted as Gunny and Cortez took a seat at the table.

"I was amazed I could find any of these ingredients on the citadel. Well accept the beef, I'm pretty sure this is pyjak meet" Aela continued. "Honey, could you see if we have any lemons or lemon juice. It's almost done and I prefer it with some." She asked Kaidan.

"Yeah." He agreed happily and went over to the fridge to look through it. Vega tried to drown them out. Kaidan was a good guy and James respected Shepard, but that didn't mean he had to love the fact that they were together. Though he had _never _seen her this happy. _Ever. _He stole another quick glance at them. Her smile was…. Beautiful….and genuine. His omni-tool buzzed and he opened it to look at the new message.

"The hell?" he said under his breath. It was from Jack. _How the hell did she get my address?_ He thought then looked over to the happy couple.

"Lola did you give Jack my extranet address?" He asked with annoyance in his voice.

"No." she said giving him a confused look. He looked over at Kaidan rummaging through the fridge this time.

"Major?" He asked with anger building up now. _If that pendejo gave her my address I swear I'll flip this table over._ Kaidan shot him an almost appalled look from over the fridge door.

"No I don't talk to her unless Aela makes me." Kaidan said honestly

"Hey." Shepard protested shooting Kaidan a _really_ look. Kaidan gave a shrug and held up a plastic yellow bottle in the shape of a lemon.

"Why?" Shepard asked looking over at Vega.  
"I just got a message from her." James said dryly.

"Ooooo what does it say?" Shepard lulled playfully. Vega rolled his eyes and said

"I don't know I'm afraid to open it." Aela laughed softly.

"Why? Afraid she figured out a way to mail herself?" She teased.

"Well now I am." Vega said thinking that over, causing Aela to laugh harder. He stared at the flashing _New _next to the message then reluctantly opened it. It read:

_"Hey muscle sorry for jumping you. Let me buy you a drink to make up for it next time we're both at the citadel?"_

_-Jack_

_What the hell that was like a month ago. _He thought.

"Soups ready do you want some Gunny? Vega? Cortez?" Aela asked ladling some into a bowl and handing it to Kaidan.

"Sure, thank you Commander." Cortez said and Kaidan handed him and Gunny a bowl.

"Vega?" Kaidan asked standing next to him. James looked up at him confused for a moment then said.

"hm? Sure." He studied the message unsure how to respond, or even if he should respond. _She is all sorts of loco….but pretty hot…_ he decided to respond.

_"How did you get my address?"-Vega_

_"Please. Alliance doesn't keep their contact info that secure."-Jack_

_"Oh that's comforting. If you're so sorry, why'd it take a month for you to message me? _

_Not that I'm actually mad or anything I mean I know I'm damn sexy."-Vega_

_"Unlike you, I've been on the frontlines with my kids. Kicking ass and taking names."-Jack_

_"What a coincidence. So have I"-Vega_

_"Funny. I don't remember seeing you out there."-Jack  
"No I mean kicking ass, with Shepard. Don't bother so much with the names part though."-Vega  
"Yea, she always did find the bigger fights. So are you in or what?"-Jack_

Vega stared at that last message for a while not sure how to respond. He closed his omni-tool and looked around the table, as Shepard place a bowl in front of him and then took the seat across from him.

"Thanks." He said lost in thought. She smiled her acknowledgement. The group was talking but it was all white noise to him as he contemplated Jack's offer. _Why am I putting so much thought into this it's a drink? _ He thought taking a few bites of the soup. _Damn this is good. Esta mujer can cook. Great, something else for me to be hung up on her about. I have to get over her. Fuck it. _He opened his omni-tool and clicked reply to the message.

_"Sure why not? What were you thinkin, coffee or something?"-Vega_

_"Yea right more like Purgatory."-Jack_

_"No way I have seen you borracho I'm good. Why not Apollo's for lunch?"-Vega_

_"Deal. See you then muscles."-Jack_

He couldn't help a small smirk that crossed his mouth as he read the last message.

"What are you smiling about Vega?" Shepard asked playfully blowing on her soup. He closed his omni-tool and looked over at her coming back to reality.

"Ugh nothin'" He said sitting forward. Aela eyed him suspiciously but let it go.

"Hey Vega, my hair needs a touch up. Do you have time today or tomorrow?" She asked.

"What? You're not going to making me do it?" Garrus said sarcastically as he made is way from the gun battery over to the stove.

"No, sorry Garrus. Hey the smaller pot is for you and Tali." She said turning in her seat to look back at him. "I did my best but seeing as I can't eat dextro food, I had to guess"

"It smells great Shepard, thanks." The turian said gratefully. "It'll be a nice change from the crap I usually eat."

"Actually Gunny helped me with that one." Aela said gesturing to the teen who sat quietly at the table between Vega and Cortez.  
"Ugh yea there were a few turians and a Quarian in our colony. They taught me few things." She said nervously.

"This is fantastic! Thanks Gunny." Garrus said after trying a bite. The crew had become accustom to calling her by her family nickname. No one knew the reason behind it but it just fit her. Even Vega didn't give her a new one.

"So Vega can you?" Aela asked returning to her earlier question.

"Yea sure Lola." He agreed absently.

"Why do you call her that?" Gunny asked shyly looking at Vega out of the corner of her eye. Vega had to stop and think about that one for a minute. He had been calling her that for so long he almost didn't remember why. Almost. But he wasn't about to say the reason out loud. _Lola was my best friend's hot older sister growing up would just start another fight between me and the Major. _

"She just looks like a Lola to me." He said looking over at the teen who blushed under his gaze.

"Oh." She said quietly. Aela took a drink of her water, her eyes darting back and forth between Vega and Gunny. The glass to her mouth was the only thing keeping her from smirking. _Gunny has a crush on Vega._ She thought trying not to smile after placing her glass down. Kaidan leaned over and planted a soft kiss on Aela's cheek. She smiled now, her attention drawn to Kaidan who sat forward leaning on the table.

"Thanks for dinner." He said softly.

"I had a craving. It was either this or pickles and Salarian noodles." She said playfully.

"You are so weird." He laughed softly at her sitting back in his chair.

"Actually the pickles and noodles sound better." She said thinking about it.

"Speak for yourself." He teased. "This was better." She yawned and stretched in her chair.

"If you're tired why don't you head up to bed?" He asked. He tried to encourage her to get any and all sleep that she could.

"I will after I clean up." She said sleepily.

"I got it, you go to bed." He reassured.

"Are you sure?" She asked as Liara made her way out of her room to check out what was on the menu.

"Yes I'm sure." He pressed

"Ok." She said giving him a kiss and took her bowl to the sink before heading up to the elevator. He watched her till she disappeared around the corner.

"Where's she going?" Garrus asked taking the newly vacated seat next to Kaidan.

"She's going to go lay down." Kaidan informed.

"Oh good." Garrus said between bite, after a few minutes Traynor, EDI and Joker made their way down for food.

"Wait if you're down here, who's flying the ship?" James asked sounding like a true meat head.

"I am." EDI reassured and attempted to explain to Vega how that all worked out, causing Gunny to giggle at James' confused expression.

"Hey where's Shepard?" Joker asked after he had gotten almost halfway through his food.

"She went up to rest." EDI stated before Kaidan could.

"Oh god, finally." Joker quipped.

"Yes according to Shepard's metabolic scans of her armor she is under more stress than on Torfan and Bedlam combined." EDI informed as if simply relaying non-essential data. Kaidan had remembered hearing about Bedlam before he knew she had lost her hearing in her left ear there, it had been a nightmare from what he could gather from the news reports. Like a second Skyllian Blitz but only against a small troop that was on the planet doing a routine patrol through.

"Can you believe that Anderson asked _me_ to take care of her? The guy leading the resistance on Earth is worried about _her_! And I'm supposed to help?!" Joker said with frustration.

"We all have to help somehow." Kaidan offered quietly taking his bowl to the sink, trying to keep his concern to himself. She seemed on autopilot most of the time these days, running around like a machine, and too damn stubborn to admit it.

"Does anyone want anymore?" He offered before he started cleaning up. Everyone seemed to be done; the only request came from Garrus to leave the dextro ration out so he could take some down to Tali.

"Is it just me or has Lola gained weight?" James asked nonchalantly to no one in particular. Kaidan shot him an annoyed look.

"It's better than her being sickly skinny again." He chastised.

"No, I didn't mean she's getting fat Major I just meant certain…. parts of her seem…..bigger." James offered with embarrassment hoping Kaidan would get mad at noticing Aela's expanding chest area.

"Shepard has gained a total of eight pounds in the past seven weeks." EDI offered before either could argue.

"That was precise." Joker said eyeing EDI suspiciously. The AI remained remarkably silent as the group exchanged confused looks.

"Well I'm not complaining." Vega said with a smile. Kaidan rolled his eyes.

"Will you please stop checking her out?" He asked kindly trying to mask the annoyance.

"I wasn't. But damn, those things are hard to hide Major." Vega said playfully.

"Leave the man's wife alone." Cortez said without thinking causing the room to go silent and all turned their attention on Kaidan who had been furiously scrubbing the pot. He froze knowing that all eyes were on him now. He turned the water off and turned his head toward the table.

"Really, Cortez?" Was all he managed to ask, before everyone decided to converge their questions all at once.

"Sorry." Cortez said sheepishly into the sea of voices. Vega sat silently feeling his heart shatter. He hadn't realized they were that serious. Part of him knew part of him hoped it wasn't true, and part of him was happy for her.

"ALRIGHT STOP!" Kaidan called trying to bring the room back to order. "Yes we are married. We didn't tell anyone on purpose because of this." He gestured to the fiasco that had just ensued. Everyone sat quietly as the realized what he meant. "So please just don't say anything to her. She has enough going on. Just business as usual, please." He request to which everyone agreed. He continued to wash dishes muttering to himself and shaking his head. Liara came to his side and started drying and putting the bowls away,

"Congratulations." She said with a warm smile as she toweled of a bowl.

"Thank you." He sighed with agitation but genuinely tried to sound sincere.

"I understand why you wanted to keep it quiet." She continued to which he said nothing, not that she had meant to launch a full on conversation about it. She had just meant to tell him she gets it.

"So how long have you been married?" Traynor finally asked unable to hold it any longer. _And here we go_ Kaidan thought to himself, with aggravation building.

"Two months and one week. According to my records" EDI chimed in for him. He was actually thank for and hoped the AI would take over for him.

"Wait you knew and didn't tell me?" Joker asked almost sounding hurt.

"There are a lot of things I don't tell you Jeff." She replied.

"Like what?" He pried feeling left out.

"It is not my business to tell." She said mechanically which let him know she wasn't going to say anymore.


	40. Part 1 - Perfectionist

**A/N: Ok touchy subject in this Chapter and the next. I am in no way trying to push my opinion of this subject on anyone or start a drama fest over it. **

Oh and i just realized I was Spelling Dr. Michel's name wrong this whole time i'll be going back through and fixing that.

Song of the Chapter Bravado by Lorde

* * *

"I'm sorry you want me to do what now?" Aela asked feeling as though her brain may implode.

"I need access to Alliance resources. I can't say anymore you'll just have to trust me." Miranda repeated.

"Why should I give you access to resources if you can't tell me why?" Aela asked the obvious question.

"Sorry. I guess I was wrong to ask for help." Miranda snipped. Aela rolled her eyes. _So damn dramatic._

"Does this have to do with your sister?" Aela demanded. Miranda paused a moment looking out the window of the apartment and gave a short nod. Aela gave a harsh sigh.

"I really don't like you. But, if it helps your sister, I'll give it to you." She agreed reluctantly.

"Thank you Shepard." Miranda said with a mix of joy and sorrow. "There's something I need to tell you." She began to brood but Aela cut her off.

"Sounds great but I have a meeting with the Asari councilor so how about no." She said walked out of the apartment fiddling with her omni-tool.

"Tactful as always, Shepard." Miranda said quietly to the empty apartment.

* * *

They sat in silence with only the sound of the shuttle and Liara's crying as white noise in the background. None of them said a word. Aela was blank. No emotion. Kaidan watched her unsure of what to make of that. She had always had something to say and now. Nothing at all. She wasn't cussing up a storm or swearing to end someone's life as painfully as possible, she was just catatonic. He watched her intently the whole trip back. She didn't move. She hardly even blinked. When the shuttle re-docked in the Normandy she got up and moved to the door like a machine.

"Aela?" He called softly trying to get her attention as she walked toward the elevator. She didn't respond. He called again louder coming closer behind her. Again she said nothing. He slowed to a stop and watched as she walked straight back onto the elevator not bothering to change out of her armor. She turned to face him inside the elevator and pressed the button for the CIC. She wasn't focused on anything in particular, just looked straight through him.

"This isn't your fault." He called to her and she snapped her focus on to him for a moment before the doors closed. _I'm done with this shit_. _She needs a fucking break already _He thought as he flicked his omni-tool on and sent a message to Hackett he was sure he would regret later.

* * *

Aela stood in the war room still in her armor on a vid call with Anderson and Hackett confused but still stuck in her catatonia to express it. They were waiting for someone to join them, Aela wasn't sure who.

"It's been brought to my attention, Commander, that you may no longer be fit for duty." Hackett said sternly. Aela just stared at the hologram of the Admiral expressionlessly.

"I assure you, I am more than capable to preform my duty." She said dryly.

"I am sorry Commander, but I must disagree." EDI's metallic voice said overhead and Aela saw the admirals become distracted momentarily by a screen popping up on their end. From what Aela could see it was her medical records and metabolic scans from her armor. EDI had just sold her out.

"Damn it Shepard. I'm not risking you if I don't have to." Hackett condemned looking over the documents.

"Agreed. You've done a damn good job, Commander. But you're over working yourself." Anderson chimed in. Her eyes shifted to him.

"There's a war on what did you expect me to do? Have a tea party?" She asked dryly.

"The mission is going to fail if you're dead." Anderson chastised, looking over the records EDI had sent.

"You're not sleeping, and you're cortisol levels are..." Hackett trailed off and shook his head never truly finishing his statement and flicking off the subsidiary screen. She eyed the two Admirals in thought.

"How do you know I'm not sleeping?" She asked after a moment.

"I told them." Kaidan said coming in to the small room. Aela didn't turn to look at him or acknowledge him in anyway. _This is who we are supposed to be waiting for_. She thought bitterly.

"Major." They two holographic men greeted.

"Now that you're here lets address the issue." Hackett started. "First off there is a reason spouses aren't supposed to serve on the same ship together. Generally speaking it's to prevent being emotional compromised. That being said," He paused contemplating weather or not to say his next statement. "I agree with your earlier message Major, she is overly stressed, especially after a loss like Thessia." Aela turned her head and looked up at Kaidan a moment then turned her attention back to the Admirals.

"Commander we need you for the final battle for Earth. You won't be at your best if you keep working yourself like this. Hell, even the soldiers on Earth are being rotated out." Hackett paused again in frustration.

"Major Alenko, you are now in command over the Normandy. Shepard we are placing you under medical leave until further notice." Anderson finished unhappily.

"If you even want to think about fighting this you'll need to have Dr. Chakwas or Dr. Michel send me a complete medical report." Hackett cut in before Aela could protest. "And Major, I'm ordering the Normandy dry docked for four days at the citadel for repairs and some shore leave for the crew. Hackett out." The Admiral said and both holograms shut off. Aela said nothing to Kaidan and headed straight for the elevator.

"Aela." He called following her. He hadn't expected _that_. In his message he had just suggested that they give them a day or two of shore leave. She ignored him again and they stood silently as she waited for the stupid scan at the doorway to complete then continued on her mission to the elevator leaving him stuck behind. He sighed his frustration and made his way to her as quickly as he could and barely caught the elevator down with her. As he had expected she had selected deck 3.

"Please talk to me." He partially begged.

"About what?" She asked absently.

"I'm sorry." He Pleaded. "I didn't know _that_ was going to happened."

"I am too tired to give a shit Kaidan." She said with exhaustion. His anger bubbled

"If you don't care then why are you going down to the med-bay instead of going to take a fucking nap?" He demanded. She ignored him and he hacked the elevator controls forcing it to stop. She huffed her annoyance. He knew full well she wasn't skilled enough to undo the override, forcing her to talk him.

"Because I can." She said with aggravation building.

"Not good enough." He growled.

"Because I want to get it over with. Karin or Chloe will pass me just fine and then I can get back to kicking the reapers back to hell." She said quickly hoping that answer satisfied him. It didn't but he set the elevator in motion again anyway.

"You really hate not being in charge." He said with annoyance, folding his arms.

"No you can keep the damn ship for all I care. I just don't want to be benched." She said rubbing her face.

"What? You don't like having your own ship?" He asked playfully now that he had her finally talking to him again.

"Not particularly, no." She said plainly. In truth it was never her goal, but she rolled with it when it was given to her.

"I'll remember that." He teased

"Whatever floats your boat, Major." She said as she exited the elevator and headed over to the med-bay with him close in toe.

"Are you sure you don't want to change first?" He suggested as they came clear to the med-bay. She stopped and looked over her attire forgetting that she was in her armor.

"It doesn't matter they're going to make me get naked anyway." She said dryly and continued her course

"What? Why?" He asked quickly.

"I'll probably have to get a physical." She informed walking into the med-bay and saw only Dr. Michel giving Gunny her last check in to make sure her ankle was fully healed.

"Everything looks great." Chloe said cheerfully. "You're free to go." The teen smiled, thanked the doctor and headed out of the med-bay.

"Ah Commander Shepard." Chloe said with a knowing smile and proceeded to turn down the shutters for the windows of the med-bay. Kaidan took a seat near the door were EDI's monitor use to be.

"You knew I was coming?" Aela asked the doctor while loosening her armor.

"I had a feeling." Chloe said playfully and pointed her over to wall with a measure on it. In truth Hackett had sent her and Chakwas a message informing them of Shepard's current status. Chloe looked over her desk for a datapad and queued it up to Aela's record. She stole a glance over to Kaidan.

"You don't have to be in here." She informed him kindly, not that he was bothering her or anything.

"I'll leave when you get to the _personal_ stuff." He said and Chloe laughed softly.

"OK." She said making her way over to Aela and checking her height. She made note and waved her over to the scale. Aela grimaced and stood on the small pressure pad cringing internally. She looked over at Kaidan who was on his omni-tool probably checking messages. She returned her attention to Chloe who had a strange look on her face and flipped between two screens on the datapad.

"How have you been feeling?" She asked making a note in Aela's records and waved her to take a seat so she could take her vitals.

"Well I'm a little stressed so mostly tired, which makes me irritable." She said as Chloe checked her Blood pressure, eyes, throat, and ears. Aela continued "I've been feeling a little sick lately. Like light headed and nauseated." She admitted quietly not wanting Kaidan to hear. She knew he would blow it out of proportion. Chloe had been checking her heart beat and gave a look.

"Any vomiting?" the doctor asked as she moved the stethoscope over to her back listening to her lungs.

"Once or twice." She said taking a deep breath and exhaling.

"You're lungs sounds better." Chloe teased lightly.

"Yea I haven't had a cigarette since…..before I got injured." She mused to herself. That was five weeks ago.

"Good." Chloe said returning to the datapad. "When was you're last menstrual cycle?"

"A few weeks ago I don't know the exact date, stressed remember? It was really light though."

"OK. I'm going to take some blood now"  
"That doesn't involve needles does it?" She asked as Kaidan closed his omni-tool and turned his attention back to them.  
"You get shot at twenty times a day and a little pin prick scares you?" Chloe teased procuring a needle, syringe and a vial.  
"Yes." Aela said matter-of- factly. Kaidan laughed softly and came over to her side.

"Look at me." He said softly taking her left hand trying to distract her. She looked up at him trying to ignore the needle she could see out of her peripherals. She wince as the needle pierced her skin but she kept her eyes locked to his, which made her feel surprisingly relaxed given the circumstances.

"Ok all done. See that wasn't so bad" Chloe teased tapping a cotton ball to her arm and put the tube into a machine.

"Speak for yourself." Aela said dryly. Kaidan rolled his eyes and returned to his seat by the door.

"Lay back." Chloe said and Aela complied as the doctor inspected her abdomen, and then her joints.

"Well everything looks good so far, but your blood pressure is elevated. I don't feel right about clearing you just yet. Take this time to relax." Dr. Michel advised as the machine beeped and she went over to her desk to check the results of the blood test. Aela rolled her eyes thoroughly disappointed and started to re-clasp her armor and tossed a look over to Kaidan, who was trying to hide and _I told you so _smile. A Smile crossed Chloe's lips as she looked over the results.

"One moment, Commander." She said and gestured for her to stay seated on the bed. "Actually I need you to take your armor off." She said pulling a monitor and some equipment over to the side of the bed. Aela gave her a confused look and complied pulling her arms out of her jump suit and pushing it down around her hips as Chloe instructed.

"That's fine lay back please." Chloe said and looked over to Kaidan and waved him over. He approached confused and stood next to Aela folding his arms across his chest.

"What's wrong?" He asked a little nervously. Chloe gave a beaming smile to reassure him and placed a small device to Aela's lower abdomen.

"Nothing is _wrong_. Per say." She said softly and his eyes flicked over to the screen as a black and white image formed and a swooshing sound filled the room. She highlighted something on the screen and he still wasn't sure what he was looking at.

"Congratulation Commander. You are about eight weeks pregnant." Chloe said cheerfully. They were both shocked.

"What?" Kaidan asked with an enormous grin making its way across his mouth. He looked down at Aela who stared at the monitor still stunned. He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. Granted it wasn't the best timing, but he didn't care he was happy. Damn it he was over joyed.

"I love you" he whispered into her ear, but she was back to cationic. He stood upright and watched her for a moment waiting for it to sink in. When it did finally and she spoke it wasn't what he was expecting. His heart shattered as she uttered the next sentence.

"Do we have the equipment to terminate?"

* * *

**A/N:** Again don't Jump to conclusions I'm double posting the second half right after this.


	41. Part 2 - I said what?

**A/N: **Ok Again, I am **NOT **trying to start a political debate about this or force my own opinion on anyone else. Whatever you believe is perfectly acceptable to me. This is just a story about my Shepard...Yea enjoy.

Oh and idk if anyone played the DLC Shore Leave and had the quiet party, but if you did good you should get the reference in this chapter if you don't kaidan explains at the party that his hair is the way it is because Biotics give off static electricity from use like FTL drives and since he's an L2... its quiet painful.

* * *

The room hung in silence for a good five minutes. Dr. Michel sat stunned at Aela's question. She looked over at Kaidan who was visibly heart broken.

"Fuck you." He barely whispered as a quiet tear broke from his eyes and he stormed out of the med-bay. Aela didn't even flinch, eyes glued to the screen still.

"Ugh, um, no." Chloe answered the question trying to remain professional and flicking of the machine, taking a seat over at her desk. "There are a few clinics on the citadel that do; I could make an appointment for you. We will be docking there in a three hours." She informed looking over at Aela who had an expression of terror wash over and snapped her eyes to the doctor.

"What did I say? What? What?" She rambled off incoherently sitting up and placing her face in her hands. Chloe watched her for a moment unsure of what to say. "What is wrong with me? I, aw shit I said that out loud didn't I? Uhh no. no. Damn it….. I think I'm going to throw up." She panted and Chloe grabbed a bucket and handed it to her just in time.

"Morning sickness." Chloe said quietly and took the bucket after a few minutes. Aela took several calming breaths and Chloe took a seat at the desk after dumping the bucket in the ladies room. They sat in silence for a few minutes as she waited for Aela to tell her what she wanted to do. Aela got up and started pacing the med-bay unable to sit still.

"I said that out loud." She mused to herself laughing nervously. "And now he thinks I'm going to- uhhhh"

"Did you not mean to?" Chloe asked slowly with confusion.

"No." Aela snapped in a panic. "I was thinking it and it just fell out of my mouth."

"So do you not want me to make an appointment with the clinic?" Chloe asked.

"No, no, no I don't." Aela shook her head. "I want to keep it. I know I should be more excited but…" Aela was lost in thought. "Am I being selfish? By keeping it?" She asked sheepishly.

"How are you being selfish?" Chloe asked bewildered.

"If we don't win this war, I mean, what kind of life could we actually give this kid?" She asked pessimistically.

"The best that you can." Chloe reassured. "It's not for me to tell you what to do, but my personally opinion you need to do what feels right for you. No one else. But you should talk to your husband before deciding anything" Aela chewed the over for a moment.

"I need to go change." She said quietly and pulled her armor back on so she could at least get down to the shuttle bay.

"Ok well I'm assuming you mean to keep the baby, for now, so here's a do's and don'ts list."

* * *

(meanwhile)

Kaidan made a bee line for the loft ignoring several people who tried to ask if he were ok including Garrus. He didn't want to talk to anyone right now. He got off the elevator and walked through the doors of the room and stood silently, letting the tears flow now that he was alone. He looked around the room. _Her_ room. With all _her_ things and he hated everything. He hated the fucking fish and the fucking fish tank and the stupid model ships on display around her stupid desk and her stupid hamster. …OK he liked the hamster at least. But there was no way in hell he was calling him Hammy._ How could she fucking do this without even talking to me? What am I to her anyway? Do I even matter to her? _He brooded as he looked for something to drink. There was no way he was getting through the rest of this day sober. It was simultaneous the happiest and worst day of his life. Who knew one question could destroy him so much? He found the bottle of whisky she had gotten him while he was in the hospital under the desk on the far side of the wall, opened it and didn't bother to find a glass. _Right because she crawled on top of herself and made that baby. _He thought bitterly as he took a long drink from the bottle. He sat down at the desk and flipped the terminal on trying to take his mind of the situation. He logged in to this Alliance profile and read the messages. The first few were from Hackett being the official memo that he was now in Command of the Normandy and yad, yad, yad. He sat back unable to focus and pounded the bottle running his left hand through it hair. He shocked himself on his wedding ring causing him to jerk and spilled some of the whisky on his top as he sat forward and place the bottle down bitterly. He undid his top and tossed it into the hamper and decided to change into some black basketball shorts and a plain heather grey tee. He sat back down at the desk and took another long drink as he stared at the tungsten band around his left finger. For the first time, he looked down at the ring and despised it. Never in a million years did he ever think he would hate that damn thing so much in his life as he did right now. He pulled the ring from his finger and spun it on top of the desk watching it as he took another drink. It slowed until it fell down on the desk. He just stared at it for what felt like an eternity until he picked it up and shoved it in his pocket. He turned back to the terminal and attempted to get some work done.

* * *

Aela stood outside of the door to their room debating if she should even go in. _Well I kinda half to._ She thought feeling over her shirt at the top of her jean, which she had been too tired to force to button. She took a steadying breath and walked into the room unsure of what to expect. She saw Kaidan working at the desk with his back to her and the bottle of whisky on the right side of the terminal. She noticed the tan line in his now bare left hand, whose fingers were placed firmly on his temple. She bit back the lump in her throat at the site of the missing accessory. She toed off her boots by the door and walked quietly past him to her dresser. He didn't even acknowledge her presence in the room. She pulled off her ill-fitting jeans and tossed them in the hamper and rummaged through her drawers for something comfortable. She thought for a moment then pulled out some Capri yoga leggings and pulled them on deeply satisfied and lay down on the bed. She didn't realize how exhausted she was till she laid down and drifted off to sleep almost instantaneously. Kaidan stole a hate filled glance through the glass over to her. She was out. _Well you go your wish she is finally sleeping._ He though bitterly and checked the clock. They should be docking at the citadel in an hour and a half. He picked up the bottle and finished it off either his tolerance had become really high or the liquor was weak because he barely felt buzzed. This was the least of his problems as he felt a headache coming on that he was sure would morph into a migraine. He continued to respond to messages and file reports as his assumptions were proven correct after about fifteen minutes. Polishing off that bottle felt like and even worse decision as he felt a wave of nausea hit him. With everything that happened today he was pretty damn sure he was going to have to head back down to the med-bay for this one.

Aela snapped awake from whatever horrible dream she was having which she had quickly forgotten. She looked around the room disoriented for a moment then looked at the clock. She had been a sleep for thirty-five minutes and she felt done with it. She sat up looking around the empty room then flopped back down with a frustrated sigh. Her omni-tool pinged and she opened it to see a message from Anderson. She skimmed it still not fully awake but was able to pick out the jist of it; something about an apartment on the citadel he was giving her or something. She headed to the bathroom to splash some water on her face. She knew when Kaidan would finally talk to her again it was going to be a long conversation. _If he'll even talk to me again for even thinking that _she chastised herself leaning against the sink face in hands. The more she replayed the moment in her head the harder she found it to believe that she had even said it. She's been putting the galaxy first for the past three years she deserved to have something for herself. She felt selfish for even thinking that. This wasn't just her baby though. In fact it was impossible for her to get pregnant by herself so wasn't that partially selfish to think he shouldn't have a say in it? This was as much his baby as hers.

She turned the shower on and stripped. She got in and enjoyed the hot water on her skin and muscles as she lathered the shampoo into her hair. It felt fantastic specifically on her shoulders were she carried ninety-nine percent of her tension. The other one percent was in between her legs and Kaidan had always made sure that was worked out. Obviously or they wouldn't be in this predicament. She rinsed the shampoo and added the condition then turned her attention on other maintenances. When she finished the grooming portion she picked up her light blue bar of soap she splurged on, her one girly thing she had, and glided it over her skin. She loved its smell of blue fig and orange blossom. She rinsed her hair and turned the water off and heard some thudding around the room and Kaidan say

"I am drunker than I thought." More like slurred and she heard someone else respond but she wasn't sure who. I sounded like Vega.

"I'm just having a shitty day James." Kaidan mumbled. Aela excited the bathroom with her towel wrapped around her and made her way to the dresser to procure some clean cloths.

"Speak of the devil and she shall appear." She heard Kaidan slur from the couch. Vega looked over at her embarrassed for the Major and a little pissed at him.

"You don't need to talk about her like that Major. I don't know what she did but I doubt she deserved that." James defended.

"It's Ok James, just go." She said softly grabbing a pair of jeans; she hoped would fit they had been really lose when she bought them, along with underwear and a clean tank, and retreated back toward the bathroom.

"I'm not going anywhere if he's going to be a drunken asshole to you Lola." Vega replied with a protective tone.

"I'm the asshole? You don't even know what she did." Kaidan gripped and Aela grabbed James by the arm before he got caught in the middle of unnecessary drama.

"Please go now." She hissed pushing him out the door.

"But Lola, he's never said something that mean about you before. I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone with him like this." He protested quietly to her.

"I'll be fine." She reassured and closed the door locking it.

"What you don't want anyone to know what you did?" Kaidan called from the couch as she headed over to the bathroom placing her cloths on the shelves in there and hung up her towel. She rolled her eyes. He hadn't stayed long enough in the med-bay to know he was talking out his ass right now. She tried to be patient with him and looked herself over in the mirror her eyes settling on her lower abdomen for a moment then proceeded to get dressed. She heard him fumbling around the room as she pulled her lace panties over her hips. He threw the bathroom door open as she reached for her bra. She took one look at him and saw he was shit faced beyond anything she had ever seen on him before. She clasped her bra on as loosely as possible and was now acutely aware of the fact that it did not fit her, what so ever anymore. She had noticed the heaviness of her chest weeks ago but hadn't thought anything off it.

"Why?" He barely squeaked out and she looked over at him confused. Her expression softened as she saw tears running down his face. "Why did you do it?" he whimpered. She walked over to him but he backed away.

"I didn't do anything." She said softly "Will you please go lay down?" He gave her a confused look.

"If you didn't do anything why were you gone for so long? Hell why'd you even ask that then?" He started to shout.

"I don't know." She said weakly shaking her head.

"No you're lying aren't you? You just want me to calm down." He said shaking his head his anger building.

"No I'm not. Please go lay down." She requested again keeping her voice soft and calm. He stared at her for moment as the realization that she wasn't lying sunk in.

"You didn't?" He whispered as a wave of happiness wash over him. She smiled at him and shook her head. He grabbed her in a hug so tight she thought he might squeeze her to death.

"Kaidan, I can't breathe." She gasped and he loosened up.

"Sorry." He slurred and crushed his lips to hers. "I love you." He breathed and she thought she might get drunk from the alcohol on his breath.

"Wow you drank a lot huh?" She asked playfully.

"Ugh…yea.. sorry." He said with embarrassment. "I'm going to go lay down." He said and stumbled his way to the bed. She laughed quietly to herself as she watched him.


	42. Why Are you wet!

Kaidan awoke to the sound of his omni-tool going off like crazy. He groaned, instantly regretting his choice to drink an entire bottle of Peruvian Whiskey by himself. He raised his left hand and flicked the omni-tool on.

"Hello?" He asked peering out of his left eye.

"Kaidan! We have a huge problem." Joker said frantically. Kaidan cleared this throat.

"What's the problem?" He asked sounding a lot more awake and in control than he actually was.

"Ugh So Shepard and I got lured into dinner at the sushi place on the strip from someone hacking her accounts and... well, needless to say there was a lot of shooting." Joker said

"What?" Kaidan said sitting straight up pushing aside the dizziness. "Is she with you?"  
"No" Joker said sheepishly feeling like this was a repeat of Normandy Sr-1 and he dropped the ball again. Kaidan jumped out of bed and ran to the elevator selecting the shuttle bay for his armor. "I'm sorry. Staff Analyst Brooks showed up and told us people wanted her dead which was pretty obvious till some mercs showed up and started shooting the place up. Shepard sent me to get you guys." Joker finished.

"Alright I gotta go." He hung up on joker and fumbled around his pocket for a moment, found the tungsten band and placed it back where it belonged on his ring finger feeling embarrassed that he removed it in the first place. The elevator doors opened on the shuttle bay and he threw his black armor on as quickly as possible, grabbed his weapons and opened the cargo door trying to raise her on their personal channel.

"What's up Major?" Vega asked taking note of his panicked expression.

"Aela found a way to get her ass shot at on the citadel." He said as the door finally lowered and ran off like a crazy man. Vega said something but he didn't hear him. All he could think was _someone is shooting at my pregnant wife_ over and over as he bolted through the crowed. He found shouting_ Spectre, get the hell out of my way _helped clear a path. He tried to get through to her once again.

"Aela are you there? Can you hear me?" He called.

"I'm here." He heard her voice call and heard gun shots in the background.

"It's good to hear your voice. Are you ok?" He asked feeling slightly relieved, less so by the gunfire.

"I'm alright just handing these guys an ass whooping." She called and he couldn't help but smile.

"Excuse me you are putting Commander Shepard's life in danger!" A high voice he didn't recognize call over the comm.

"I'm what? Who is this?" He asked slowing to a stop as he approached the restaurant Joker had mentioned. It didn't take long for Kaidan to realize that she wasn't there anymore. The gaping hole in the floor sure as hell didn't make him feel better.

"Joker mentioned Staff Analyst Brooks right? That's her. Everyone play nice." Aela ordered over the comm.

"Brooks, where's she headed?" He demanded

"I'm not sure I should tell you I don't know who you are." The girl nervously chimed back.

"I'm Major Kaidan Alenko now give me the damn navpoint." He commanded and his omni-tool pinged after a minute or two.

"Sorry Major." She said nervously. He ignored her and called to Aela.

"Aela, Brooks gave me the navpoint to the car lot. I'm on foot, I'll meet you there." He ran at full sprint down to the lower half of the city. He got turned around a few times but the map was showing he was on course. After a few minutes he heard the familiar sound of Aela's Biotics and a loud explosion off in the distance.

"Aela what are you doing I could her that from here?" He said with anxiety growing as the gun shots got louder.

"It's all under control." She called back and he heard the sound of a victim to her biotic throw. He rolled his eyes.

"What do we know about these guys?" He asked.

"They have guns and don't like me." She responded.

"That's helpful." He said sarcastically feeling she had rubbed off on him more then he knew as he rounded the corner to the car lot and almost got his ass shot off.

"Oh shit!" he hissed throwing up his barrier. _I must be in the right place._ He thought as the two mercs fired on him. He took them out with his biotics easily enough and saw Aela come through the door behind them.  
"Having a bad day Honey?" he teased not seeing the irony of that statement.

"Something like that." She said walking over and giving him a deep kiss. He wrapped his arms around her in response starting to make it more. She pulled away abruptly and he refocused on the situation.

"Why are you soaking wet?" He asked and a wave of panic hit him as he remembered the whole in the floor at the restaurant "Did you fall through the fish tank?"

"Kinda." She said sounding way too calm about this.

"Are you ok? Are you hurt?" His anxiety was building as he looked over her for any injuries going into medic mode.

"I'm fine. Let's just say I had a crash course in learning how to float with biotics." She said playfully trying to calm him down.

"That's not funny." He said sternly.

"Sure it is." She gave him a small smile. "Look Samara taught me how to float, not that I was very good at it, but _that_ was literally a sink her swim moment and I did laps baby." He shook his head at her still a little mad at her lack of severity for the situation but she was fine so he tried to relax.

"Come on. We need to find the gate controls." She said. He looked over her for a moment and admired her form fitting tank dress, leggings and combat boots.

"Nice outfit." He said totally checking her out. She turned and gave him a raised eyebrow.

"Gate controls right." He reminded himself and she smiled at him as the made their way leisurely toward what looked like an office.

"That's a shame it was one of my favorite places." He said playfully thinking how she had destroyed it.

"We'll talk about it later." She sighed.

* * *

"Well that was an interesting Start to shore leave." Kaidan said sprawled out on the couch across from the bar with Aela laying somewhat on him, in between him and the couch.

"Well, what'd you except? " She laughed into his chest.

"Ugh …not for you to have a clone." He said like that should have been an obvious answer.

"That's funny isn't that the reason you refused to join me on Horizon?" She teased.

"We agreed to never speak of that." He said in all seriousness.

"Sorry." She said quietly as he flicked on the Vid terminal.

"I'd just like to pretend we're a normal couple for like five minutes." He said

"Ha! I can probably give you five seconds." She teased, closing her eyes and snuggling into his chest.

"So you know the best way to unwind after a long day of kicking your clone's ass?" Joker called coming into the room with Cortez.

"I thought I locked the door." Kaidan said looking over at the two, not that anyone heard him.

"Take a nap." Aela called lazily from her place under his arm.

"No we party down." Joker pressed.

"No." Kaidan said flipping through the channels.

"Aw but come on-"Joker started to protest but he was cut off

"NO. N. O. Not happening Aela needs to relax." Kaidan said sternly, knowing neither of them would understand why he was so adamant about this. He had had a conversation with Dr. Chakwas after Aela's fish tank fiasco and the doctor informed him that if she didn't lower her stress levels she could miscarry. He heard her breathing change and looked down at her for a moment; she was already down for the count.

"Told you." Cortez said quietly, grinning at Joker.

"Oh then tell him your big idea." Joker pressed and Cortez' smirk disappeared.

"What was your idea?" Kaidan asked not fully paying attention to them. Cortez shuffled nervously in his spot as Kaidan turned his head to look at him.

"Uh nothing big, I just thought maybe, since you guys... You know didn't have a big wedding or anything, that you might ,like ,want a small get together for that… or something." Cortez stammered out while Joker stared at him with his own smirk now.

"Like a reception?" Kaidan asked.

"Yea. It's stupid I know, forget I said anything." He said feeling stupid knowing they had asked not to make a big deal their marriage. Kaidan thought for a moment looking back at the terminal on the wall.

"I'll ask Aela when she wakes up." He said changing the channel again.

"Really?" Cortez asked perking up.

"What?" Joker asked in disbelief.

"Yea, but_ if_ she agrees is can't be anything big or outrageous just something quiet and relaxed." Kaidan said making sure he wasn't misheard.

"You got it boss." Cortez said happily and made his way for the door. Joker stared at Kaidan mildly offended.

"Whatever I'm going to go see how much trouble I can get into without snapping a femur." He grumbled leaving the apartment.


	43. See No Evil

**A/N:** Sorry it took so long to write I keep getting sidetracked. My Muse keeps trying to pull me toward my second story already and I haven't finished with this one lol.

Hope you enjoy :) Smut to entail...

* * *

Aela awoke sometime later with the sound of a sitcom on in the background. She opened her eyes slowly and looked around the strange room before her senses came back. She looked up at Kaidan who was passed out. She needed to use the bathroom but she didn't want to wake him. _I'm sure he'd rather I wake him then pee on him._ She reasoned and began to climb over him.

"What's wrong?" He asked jumping awake in a haze as she got her leg over him.

"Bathroom." She said softly trying to get her other leg over him. He flopped back down on the couch and checked the time. _Two hour nap's not bad_ he though as he stretched awake and turned the TV off. He sat up and twisted popping his back. Sleeping on this couch was not ideal.

"How are you feeling?" He asked looking up at her as she came back into the room to grab her bag.

"Fine." She said giving him a smile and headed up to the master bedroom. He got up and went to the kitchen knowing he was hungry but not quite sure for what. He opened the fridge and found it empty along with the pantry and cupboards.

"I don't know what I was expecting." He said quietly to himself and went upstairs . He found her slipping into the Jacuzzi style bath tub in the master bedroom. He looked her over for a moment with a raised brow. How long had it been since he tailed kisses down her spine? He pulled his mind out of the gutter.

"I thought you hated baths?" He finally asked recalling the many times she had said she preferred to shower because she felt baths were like sitting in a soup of yourself.

"I do but this has jets." She drawled comfortably holing up the jet control pad.

"So I'm having Aela stew for dinner?" he teased walking out of the bathroom to find his shoes.

"Ha. Ha." She said sarcastically.

"Well there isn't any food in this place so I'm going to the store. Do you have any specific requests?" He asked pulling his boots on.

"A five pound chocolate bar?" She asked semi hopeful  
"Ugh no that has _WAY _too much caffeine in it." He said walking over to the bathroom door again. "Yea that's right I talked to Dr. Chakwas." He said playfully. She pouted at him. "How hot is that water by the way?"

"It's thirty Celsius, calm yourself super dad. I made sure to turn it down and have the door open to let the steam out so I don't get too hot." She said and looked up at through her lashes. "You could always join me." She suggested and saw the wheels in his head start to turn.

"But then I'd be even hungrier after." He thought out loud, knowing if he didn't leave now he wasn't going to get food period.

"Classy." She said defeated. The past week had been chaos and they hadn't had a chance to be intimate. To say she was sexually frustrated was putting it lightly. He seemed to be able to hold out longer than she could which drover her absolutely insane.

"I'll be right back." He chuckled and headed for the door.

"I just want to eat a can of frosting." She sighed to herself and heard him laugh from down the hall. She heard the front door open and close and knew he'd be gone for a while. After about twenty minutes she was officially over the Shepard stew and got out of the tub. She put on some comfortable cloths consisting of a form fitting black tank and light blue dolphin short .She found a terminal down stairs and decided to check her messages. She was surprised at how much junk mail she got before she found the ones she actually cared about. She skimmed over them as they were mostly request for lunch dates or what not. The one that got her was the second to last. Kolyat had sent her a message about having a memorial for Thane. Her thoughts traveled to her lost friend eliciting moisture to pool in her eyes. She sat back in thought as the silent tears traveled down her cheeks at the memory of their conversations in the life support room. She laughed momentarily at the memory of him teaching her how to do a one armed neck break. They had rounded up some surviving mercenaries on a side job per request of the Illusive man. She had inquired how to do it after observing him preform the acting on a few missions. He pulled one of the mercs to his feet and talked her through it but she hadn't applied enough pressure and ended up cracking the guy's neck and pinching a nerve instead of killing him. To which Thane shook his head then broke the mercs neck with his hands and picked up the next one for her to try again. She missed him, His raspy voice and piercing black eyes. Why the hell was she crying so hard? She chastised herself trying to calm herself and she remembered Dr. Michel's warning that her hormones may make her a bit irrational.

"Stop making me so damn emotional." She grumbled looking down at her abdomen.

"Who are you talking to?" She heard Kaidan ask from the kitchen.

"Your radioactive sperm is making me moody." She called back wiping the tears away.

"My radioactive sperm?" He repeated making a face as he passed through the door way. His expression changed when he saw her sitting at the desk. "What the matter?" He asked softly never having seen her cry before. She shook her head.

"Nothing, Kolyat wanted to know if I would help him have a memorial for Thane." She said quietly. He walked over to her and gently wiped a few tears from under her eyes than kissed the top of her head.

"Are you ok?" He asked after a few minutes.

"Yea I'm fine." She said debating about how to reply to the message.

"You don't have to respond tonight." He said as if reading her mind. She sighed and turned off the terminal and they headed toward the kitchen. She started to put things away and he stopped her a few times.

"No I need that…and that." He said grabbing the steak and mushrooms from her hands.  
"For what?" She asked.

"For dinner." He said like it was obvious

"You're cooking?" She asked skeptically.  
"Yea." He said with a gentle shrug acquiring the pans and ingredients he needed.  
"Oh now really?" She sighed  
"Come on. I can cook." He laughed.  
"And I can dance." She taunted  
"Shots fired." He said lightheartedly walking over to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Let me do something for you for once."

"You did do something for nice me and now I'm pregnant." She teased giving him smart ass look.

"Wow ok, just…. sit down." He said guiding her to a chair at the counter. She sat reluctantly, folding her arms under her chest and leaning over the bar. He got to work browning the meat in the pan adding garlic and some other seasonings. While Sautéing mushrooms in another pan.

"For a while there I thought you hated cooking." He said trying to make light conversation so she wasn't entirely bored.

"Why would you think that?" She asked.

"Because you hardly every cook." He teased. "You didn't really start cooking till Gunny came on board."

"Yea well I thought she might want something edible." She said sarcastically referring to the crap that was usually offered under the guise of food.

"Oh what she's too good for microwaveable meals and instant noodles?" He laughed lightly.

"She's just a kid Kaidan." Aela said not finding it very funny. He looked up at her not having meant to offend and was momentarily distracted by the attention she was drawing toward her chest. She looked up at his gaze and smirked.

"You're ugh –burning the garlic." Her voice was smooth and inviting seeing her opportunity. He snapped his attention back down to the pan.

"Sorry I'm a little distracted." He said lightly.

"By?" her voice was thick and sultry.  
"I wonder?" He said his voice heavy at the suggestion; he smirked causing her body to react with want. He returned his attention to the stove leaving her annoyed with want for his attention to be on her. Whatever he was making smelt fantastic and she realized it had been a while since she had eaten anything, but decided to keep that to herself so as not to call down his wrath. He was always unhappy with her eating less than she should, but now with the baby in the mix he was sure to have her ass if she didn't meet her calorie intake for the day. Her stomach grumbled loudly and he shot her a displeased look.

"When was the last time you ate?" He asked turning off stove and attaining plates.

"Ummmmmmmm." She said nervously, looking around the room for an escape route. He stopped and looked over at her.

"Aela." He said sternly forcing her to look back at him. She made and unsure face and said

"This morning?" He sighed his aggravation and turned back to the cupboards grabbing down a couple of glasses. "In all fairness I thought I was having dinner with Joker." She said trying to lighten the mood.

"ya ya." He said dismissively pouring some Juice into a glass and handing it to her. She took a drink and was surprised to find the orange liquid was one of her favorites.

"I didn't know they still had Passion Fruit juice on the citadel." She said appreciatively.

"Yea I'm pretty sure that was the last one….. on the whole citadel." He said and she could her him relax slightly. "Now go sit down in the living room and I'll bring you your plate."  
"The living room? Bring me my plate? I'm pretty sure I am a capable adult." She said raising an eyebrow.

"I wanted to sit by the fire place but clearly you're going to make this a pain in the ass as well." He groaned in annoyance.  
"Alright, alright I'm going." She said putting her hands up in defeat and taking her glass, made her way across the room.

"Thank you. Sit on the floor." She complied and sat on the floor in front of the coffee table. He placed her plate in front of her on the table and went back for his. When he returned, he pushed the coffee table forward a bit, then sat down and proceeded to maneuver her in front of him than pulled the table back toward them a little. She looked back at him with an inquisitive look as to why they were seated this way.

"I don't ever get to just hold you and relax like this." He offered and collected a piece of steak and some mushrooms on his fork and held it to her mouth.

"Now you're feeding me?" she playfully objected but he didn't take is as playful.

"Fucking forget it." He huffed taking the bite himself and moving her so she sat next to him instead of in between his legs.

"What's the problem?" She asked lightly not understand why he was so annoyed.  
"Nothing." He bit. She stared at him confused.

"Aren't I the one who's supposed to be irrational?" She joked; he ignored her taking another bite of food. "You're really this mad because I don't want you feeding me?"  
"No I'm mad because we never get any alone time together and when we finally do you bitch the whole time." He snapped. "You bitch about me cooking, you bitched about me bringing you your food, scrutinized the way I wanted to sit with you and now you bitch about me giving you a bite of food. Sorry for trying to be romantic I will never do it again." He grumbled the last sentence having run out of fuel from ranting. She felt bad now realizing they really didn't get any time to themselves and she had been a little bit of an ass to his sweet gesture. He acquired another bite and was bringing to his mouth when she leaned over and stole it from his fork. He raised a brow at her. She gave a big smile and moved herself back between his legs and leaned back against his chest. He attempted to take another bite but she stole that one too. It turned into a playful game to see who could get it first. She proceeded to steal his food from his fork until his plate was empty. He chuckled at her and switched their plates around. He lifted another bite and maneuvered it around her before she could steal it.

"I'm hungry too." He said playfully.

"I'm eating for two now." She replied equally playful.

"You only need six hundred more calories a day." He informed "Though with your eating habits I'm sure a few more wouldn't kills you." He thought out loud and she used the opportunity to steal another bite.

"Dr. Chakwas said it was only three hundred more." She mumbled  
"No she said it was Three hundred more for non-biotics. It's six hundred for biotics sweetheart."

"Well I'm not gonna complain then." She reaching for her glass and got confused since both consisted of the orange liquid.

"Which one is mine?" She asked looking between the two glasses.  
"Does it matter?" he asked with food in his mouth. She shrugged taking a glass and drinking. She replaced the glass and relaxed back against him feeling content. "This was good thank you."

"I told you I could cook." He said proudly

"That you did" She said turning her head into him. _God he smells fantastic. _She thought and placed a gentle kiss on his throat. "So what's for dessert?" She asked as he reached for a glass and took a drink.

"Ugh I don't know what do you want? I think I got ice cream." He said placing the glass back on the table, not getting her intentions. _You dense motherfucker! _

"How about…. you." She said seductively, kissing his neck. She could almost hear the light bulb ding over his head as her lips trailed up his throat to his chin. Their lips met while he ran his fingers through her hair. She allowed his tongue access to explore her mouth and twisted around to face him, straddling him.

He slid his hand up her thighs and encircled her in his arms. It was clear his urgency wasn't the same as hers and he planned to enjoy every touch while she just wanted to get down to business. She bite her lower lips as he kissed down her neck and slipped his fingers under her shirt, his thumbs airily glided over her sides while his fingertips slipped over her back. He slid his hands up her, pulling her shirt off and sending goosebumps across her skin. She felt him smile against her chest after tossing her shirt aside. As urgently as she wanted him it had been a while since she just enjoyed his touch. She felt him throb between her legs and her desire grew as he tossed her ill-fitting bra behind him and his tongue airily skimmed her nipple. She hummed her appreciation as his hand gave attention to her other breast. The sensitivity in her chest magnified every sensation he offered. Her hands tangled in his hair as his lips softly made their way around her nipple. She ground her hips against his feeling his arousal against her like a rock and a ragged moan escaped his throat. He kissed back up her chest and neck and found her mouth again and she rocked her hips against his once more. Her hands slid down to his chest and started to undo his ACU top as he placed his hand firmly on her hips and pushed them down to his. She pushed him to the side forcing him onto his back as she got his top undone and revealed his bare chest underneath. She started to trail kissed down his neck giving a few gentle nibbles along the way.

"No under shirt?" She asked between kissed

"I forgot to do laundry." He breathed as her lips descended over his chest and down his stomach. Her nimble fingers started to unfasten his pants as she glided the tip of her tongue across his lower abdomen just above his pant line. He pushed his head back into the floor anxiously awaiting her to remove his pants. She pulled his underwear off with his pants in one swift movement and tossed them aside with hers. She crawled back up toward him kissing his muscular thigh. He gave a breathy gasp as she drew the tip of her tongue up against his shaft to his tip. She saw his stomach contract as her soft lips wrapped themselves around him. He gave short moans of pleasure as she traveled down the length of him. She released her hold on him momentarily and he pulled her up to him crushing his lips to hers. His hands fell over her body with more urgency as his hand gripped her hips with need and lifter her up placing his silky tip at her slick entrance. She gave a long loud moan into his mouth as he slowly sheathed himself inside her. His mouth released hers and she submerged her face against his neck as she moved her hips against his. His hot breath and low grunts in her ear only caused her to pick up speed and she pushed herself away from him placing her palms against his chest for support. Her fingertips pressed hard into his chest as she rode him feeling her release swiftly approaching. He twisted under her and she felt his hot tongue glide up her sternum and his lips sucked gently at her pucker nipples. The magnified sensation threw her over the edge. Kaidan could feel his own orgasm not far off and grabbed her hips harshly, lifting her slightly to give him room as he began to thrust hard and deep into her. Her nails dug into his chest and he bit his lower lip as a rough groan came from his throat. Her head dropped back as his thick shaft pounded into her striking that spot that made her lose her breath. He looked up at her, his harsh grunt of satisfaction drowned out by her loud joyous cry of his name.

Kaidan heard the sound of glass shattering and snapped his head over to left to investigate. Vega was nervously trying to pick up the end table he had knocked over, the vase that was on it shattered on the floor.

"James?!" Kaidan questioned breathlessly wondering what he was doing there and how long he had been there.

"I didn't see shit." He stuttered retreating out the door. The speed in which he left suggested otherwise.

"What?" Aela panted looking down at Kaidan in confusion and then over the couch at the door as it hissed shut.

* * *

( few minutes before)

"That so did not happen." Vega argued over his Omni-tool with Joker as the elevator dinged open on Shepard's floor.

"It did too." Joker said  
"You're telling me Lola, yay high little thing (he held hand to his chest suggesting her height) lifted a mako with her biotics and didn't even know she was doing it?" James asked skeptically.

"Yea her biotics are crazy man. Had Kaidan not talked her off a ledge who knows what would have happened?" Joker continued recalling the day Udina had ushered himself to the top of Shepard's shit list.

"I'm going to ask her about that right now." Vega said walking up to the apartment door.

"It's like eleven o'clock at night ask her tomorrow." Joker said  
"Why I'm right outside her place right now." James replied  
"Why are you there? DO you have a death wish? Kaidan will kill you if she is asleep." Joker said nervously  
"Lola don't sleep." Vega said thinking back to the open invitation she had left him to come keep her company if he was bored.  
"It's your funeral." Joker said. James flicked off his omni-tool and walked through the door. He looked around the apartment in confusion at the low lighting and the cloths thrown about the room. He took a few soft steps hearing a familiar sound but couldn't place it. He stopped dead pan in his tacks, jaw dropped as he saw Shepard from the waist up stark naked head tossed back on the other side of the couch. He backed up quickly not paying attention to his surroundings and backed into something. He barely heard the sound of glass breaking as Aela gave a loud moan he had only hear in Vids. He tripped and fumbled to steady himself and pick up the table he knocked over.

"James?!" Kaidan's voice panted from the floor he assumed he didn't turn to look

"I didn't see shit!" he lied and almost ran back out the door in embarrassment. _ Right when I start losing feelings for her. I had to be a dumb ass. Why didn't I just call first? Right she wasn't answering. Dios I am never going to be able to burn that image out of my mind._ His mind raced as he made his way out of the apartment building and walked quickly down the strip. He really wished that someone somewhere could drop the temperature on this part of the citadel by twenty degrees as his he approached the hotel he was staying at.

"Hey…James?" Cortez called as Vega walked briskly through the lobby. "Vega what's wrong?" the shuttle pilot called catching up with him in the stair well.

"I saw something I wasn't supposed to." James called ascending the stairs.

"What did you see?" Cortez asked with unease. Vega said nothing. "James." Cortez said grabbing him by the arm as they came to the next floor.

"Lola!" Vega said with a muffled shout. He closed his eyes but quickly opened them trying to not to think of what he saw. "I….saw…..Shepard…almost all of her." Vega said slowly enunciating every word. Cortez looked at him in confusion at first but quickly caught the meaning. He always was a sharp one.

"HOW? Where? When?" Steve asked quickly feeling his head explode. Vega turned and went up two more flights of stairs to his floor and walked to his room before he answered. He turned to Cortez and in a hushed voice said.

"I went over there because you know she never sleeps and I wasn't feeling tired so I thought I'd swing by and keep her company -"  
"Oh man." -Cortez  
"And she wasn't answering my calls-"-James  
"OH boy."-Cortez  
"And the door was unlocked when I got there-"-James  
"Oh god."- Cortez

"So I walked in-"-James  
"Why?"-Cortez  
"I thought she might have gotten my messages and left it unlocked for me-"- James  
"Oh crap"- Cortez

"Pretty much. So I went in and …"James tailed off  
"And…"Cortez asked after a moment  
"And the room was dimly light which I didn't think was that weird since Major gets migraines and all…." Vega defended with a shrug  
"And? How did you see her naked?" Cortez asked in confusion.

"Well…..She wasn't alone." Vega said bracing himself for Cortez' reaction  
"OH MY GOD VEGA! You walking in on her and the Major." James grimaced and nodded his head rapidly. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! When she didn't answer you should have known not to go over."

"I Know! Mierda! I didn't think-" -James  
"No shit! Kaidan is going to kill you, you know that right?"-Cortez

"Oohhh yea." Vega susurrated leaning against his door.

"I mean who the hell just walks into another person's apartment in the middle of the night like that?" Cortez asked puzzled

"I do." Vega said in a sing song voice looking at the ceiling.

"Man you have a mess to clean. I wish I could help but I am not going near _that_." Steve said holing up his hands

"Thanks Esteban." James grumbled to himself  
"Anytime, Good night." Cortez said and walked down the hall and around the corner shaking his head.

"Don't leave me alone!" Vega pleaded but it was too late. "Maldita sea." He sighed and unlocked his door. He paced his hotel room to afraid to close his eyes and see her on the back of his lids. He turned on the TV hoping to take his mind of things. It took a whopping ten seconds for that not to work and he returned to pacing the room. _What the hell am I going to do? As soon as I sit down and relax I know my mind is going to wander to her. And it has been a while… _Vega chastised himself for being turned on. _I saw Commander Fucking Shepard naked…..I saw Commander Shepard naked… __I__ saw Commander Shepard naked…..Well I had always wanted to see her naked._ He began to reason with himself. _Hell she was even better looking than I had imagined. _Vega flopped down on the bed staring at the ceiling. _ Dios the actually of what she looks like__ like__that __is even better than I'd imagined. That is the Major's wife what is wrong with you? …..But she'll always be Lola to me. That hot, tough, woman I met on Omega….._ He gave up and closed his eyes letting the image of her flood in. His breathing became more unkempt as he realized how much of her he remembered in perfect deal detail. _Her voluptuous breast bouncing in sync with her sharp breathy moans. _He freed himself from his pants and began pumping slowly letting his testosterone get the best of him. All he needed was the one reference and he could put her into any position he desired. The image looped in his mind and he picked up the pace.

His omni-tool buzzed taking him off guard, he flushed with embarrassment realizing what he was doing then answered after pulling his pants back up.

"Hello?" He asked clearing his throat keeping the visual off for obvious reasons.

"James." Aela's silky voice called. _Hijo de puta._

"….y-yea." He said self-consciously really not wanting to talk to her right now.  
"WHAT THE HELL WHERE YOU DOING HERE?" Kaidan shouted in the background.

"Calm down" she said softly to the Major. "I just got your messages. Sorry I didn't respond in time to warn you not to come over tonight." She said in a friendly manner.

"No it's my fault I shouldn't have come over unless you answered." James offered quickly, kicking himself  
"Damn right." Kaidan said again form the background.  
"No it's my fault I said you could come over whenever." She reassured

"You did what?" He heard Kaidan say. He could hear her looking over her shoulder at him.

"So for future references please don't unless one of us knows you're headed over." She finished

"Will do ma'am" Vega said addressing her professionally feeling unable to talk to her as his friend at the moment. He could hear the slight change in her voice when he didn't call her Lola.

"…Talk to you later." She said and hung up. _Mierda!_ He groaned internally _I probably just lost one of my closest friends forever._ He thought sitting up.

"What the hell am I going to do with you?" He sighed looking at his lap. His omni-tool pinged with a message, he opened it.

_"Still on for tomorrow muscles?"-Jack_

A thought crossed his mind. _Her offer still stands…I think._ He pressed reply.

_"Are you on the citadel right now?"- Vega_

_"Yea just got in…Why?"-Jack_

_"Does you're offer still stand?"- Vega_

He waited for a few minutes longer then he felt was right and he was once again embarrassed for asking.

_"Where are you?"- Jack_

_"Lunar Hotel on the Strip."- Vega_

_"I'll be there in five."- Jack_

Vega stared at the message unsure he was reading that right than looked around the room making sure it didn't look like shit. He re-clasped his belt and headed down to the lobby once more. He waited nervously outside the hotel for a few minutes not sure what to expect. _Aw hell she's probably going to stand me up._ He thought and was about to head back in when he saw her ponytail bobbing through the crowed. He almost didn't see her since her and Shepard were about the same height.

"Hey muscles." She said with a sexy smile. She had lost the jacket she usually wore.

"I honestly didn't think you would come." He admitted coquettishly.

"Oh I plan to cum." She said walking past him into to the lobby. He didn't need more prompt then that. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her toward the elevator.

"Someone's in a hurry." She purred seductively.

"It's been a while." He said as they entered the elevator and he selected his floor.

"Then why wait?" She said jumping on him. _Oh fuck_, He though as her tongue invaded his mouth. He pulled her hard against him and she gasped feeling his erection against her.

"Damn I really haven't been with a big boy like you yet." She breathed and he smirked.

"I'll try not to hurt you." He exhaled grabbing her ass and pulling her up, she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist as the elevator dinger on his level. He walked back to his room as she bit and kissed his neck then lightly nibbled on his ear as he tried to open the door.

"What's taking so long." She breathed and the warm of her breath sent chills down his spine.

"Little distracted." He said right as he got the door open.

"Glad I could help." She purred and he carried her inside slamming the door behind him.

* * *

_**Hijo de puta**__- Son of a bitch_


	44. Chapter 44

Aela sat in the living room staring at the chess board Traynor brought over rubbing her temples trying to figure this blasted game out. Samantha sat smirking on the other couch watching Aela.

"Are you going to move?" Samantha gloated. It was apparent she already knew what she was going to make next. _Wish I knew what I was going to do next._

"Shut up Specialist." Aela grumbled.  
"Yes ma'am Commander Shepard. Er. Alanko…"Samantha corrected.

"You can still call me Shepard, Sam." Aela said still staring at the game board.  
"Oh…Why?" Samantha asked.  
"So you don't get us confused." Aela said tersely

"Ugh that won't be hard I'm sure you won't respond when I call for _Major _Alenko Ma'am." Samantha replied playfully.

"Shut up..You're sidetracking me" Aela bit.

"Yes ma'am" Samantha said smirking at her.

"Hi Traynor." Kaidan said coming down the stairs his hair wet from having just showered.

"Hello Major." She said semi timidly eyeing his cloths finding it strange to see him in civilians. He gave her a confused look approaching Aela.

"We're on shore leave you don't have to call me Major." He said with a kind smile and placed a loving kiss on Aela's cheek. "Good morning." He said to his wife stifling a smirk at her intense concentration.

"hm?" She sounded not having fully noticed him. He smiled and looked at the chess board.

"Your turn?" He asked studying the pieces.

"Yea." Aela replied.

"Good." He said leaning over the chess board and moved a piece. "Check mate." He said and walked toward the kitchen.

"NO fair Maj- Kaidan!" Traynor protested.

"Wait what does that mean?" Aela looked around confused.

"You won. " Kaidan said playfully, starting to make coffee.

"I Did? Woo" Aela said excitedly throwing her arms up in victory.

"That doesn't count!" Traynor objected in disbelief looking over at Kaidan  
"Sure it does. Do you want coffee Traynor?" He asked smiling and grabbing some cups.

"No it doesn't and coffee would be nice." She grumbled on the couch. Aela made her way to the kitchen to heat up some water. She was never a big coffee drinker so it wasn't a big deal for her to cut it out of her life but she was a tea drinking and Dr. Michel had given her a list of teas that were safe and even good for her to drink. Starting with ginger tea to ease the nausea.

"I'm so lucky you're a nerd." She said softly placing the kettle on the stove.

"I resent that." He said putting his arms around her.

"Well then maybe you shouldn't have been in the chess club." She teased.

"I was ten." He playfully defended .  
"Doesn't matter, still a nerd."

"Whatever." He said snickering, kissing the side of her head. "What do you want to do today?"  
"Well Traynor wanted to have lunch and then Jack wanted to meet at the combat simulator after"  
"The combat simulator seriously?" He asked apprehensively.  
"Don't worry we won't turn the safeties off." She tried to reassure.

"Yea right you're gonna be with Jack. I'll believe that when I see it." He grumbled as the coffee pot beeped. "So basically you're booked for the next three days?" He asked semi aggravated as he poured a cup for himself then asked Traynor how she liked hers.

"With milk and sugar." She replied and he set the cup down on the bar along with the milk and sugar so she could add the amount she liked.

"Are you just going to sit around the house today?" Aela asked playfully.

"I was but seeing as you won't be here I'll probably hang out with Cortez." He said taking a sip of his coffee.

"I'm proud of us. We've managed to make friends." She joked but it wasn't far from the truth. He had kept mostly to himself before and she was always so mean to everyone no one wanted to be around her. Now she was the tolerable amount of mean.

"So Sam where are we going for lunch?" Aela asked gabbing her tea from the pantry as Kaidan got a cup down for her.

"I was thinking either Tre Birra's or Flamingo's. Tre is Italian while the other is Mexican so it depends on what you feel like. Personally I just wanted something from home." Traynor said.  
"Ooo Flamingo's I really want salsa." Aela said as a craving hit her as she turned the heat off of the stove.

"Please remember not to add too much salt to the chips." Kaidan said then turned to Traynor and whispered. "Seriously she eats them like she's having some Chip with her salt."

"I'll keep that in mind." Traynor laughed.

"In fact don't let her touch the salt at all." He said and she laughed harder.

"Oh before I forget again," he started, turning toward Aela as she pours the hot water into her cup. "Cortez wanted to have a wedding reception thing for us I told him I'd ask you."

"OO that would be fun." Samantha chimed in after taking a sip of her coffee.

"You think so?" Kaidan asked unsure where he stood on it. Personally he was content, they were married and she was happy so he was happy. Aela was never one to want to draw attention to herself which is why they hadn't told anyone they were married in the first place and why they still hadn't told anyone she was pregnant.

"Of course I think so! How fun! You could get a DJ and a cake and get all dressed up." Traynor said enthusiastically and Kaidan watched the look of disgust cross Aela's face.

"But that defeats the purpose of getting married at the court house than." She said. Samantha looked at her in confusions.

"So I didn't have to have all that….crap.." Aela said shaking her head. "No I …no. Please don't make me." She pleaded to Kaidan.

"I'm not going to make you do anything." He laughed gently. "I'll tell Cortez you didn't go for it. No big deal." He said giving her a soft loving kiss. She smiled at him for a few minutes than looked over to Traynor.

"Well I'm Starving so .. Traynor shall we?" Aela asked.

"Right behind you ma'am." Samantha said placing her cup in the sink.

"I'll see you when I get home?" Aela asked Kaidan softly.  
"mmhmm." He sounded giving one last deep kiss before she put her cup in the sink and they headed out the door.

* * *

James awoke to the sound of his shower running. He laid still for a few moments in confusion than snapped his eyes wide opening remembering everything. He took a quick look around the room hoping nothing was broken from the evening's events. All furniture looked unbroken and glass un-shattered. He relaxed stretching from his place on the bed as the water shut off. He shut his eye enjoying the stretch and the warmth of the sheets on his skin and almost drifted back to sleep.

"Damn I must have really worked you if you're still sleeping." Jack said proudly coming from the bathroom. He looked lazily over at her and smiled watching her collect her clothing off the floor and pull her hair back to a ponytail.

"I told you….it's been a while." He drawled. He watched her tie on her top or whatever that was she wore and start searching for her boots "Why are you in such a hurry?" He asked.

"I gotta meet Lola." She teased the nickname he had for Shepard.

"I thought we were doing lunch? He asked knitting his brows in confusion.  
"Ha, we would have but it's one forty you slept through lunch." She taunted finding her boots and started to pull them on.  
"What!" he exclaimed jumping up and looking at the clock. 13:45. _Mierda. _He actually had been looking forward to their lunch and was kicking himself for sleeping in. He snapped around to look at her just in as she reached for the door.

"Wait when do you ship out?" He asked taking her slightly off guard.

"In three days. Why?" She asked.

"Well could we do dinner tonight instead since I fucked lunch up?" He asked looking over at her, feeling a little embarrassed as a strange look crossed her face.

"Uhh look I don't want you to get confused or anything just cause we fucked doesn't mean you have to take me out or anything." She said like that was obvious  
"I know that but you were going to buy me lunch for assaulting me on the Normandy and I plan to hold you to that." He said looking at her playfully.  
"I'm pretty sure that debt is paid. In fact I'm pretty sure you owe me now." She teased folding her arms and lifting a defiant brow at him.  
"Great then I'll buy you dinner tonight." He said with a shit eating grin on his face catching at her own game.  
"Ugh fine. I gotta go." She huffed flinging the door open and heading out.

* * *

"Oh I miss Urz too which reminds me you have to meet Eezo." Jack said as her and Aela made their way into the apartmeant.

"Who or what is Eezo?" Aela asked.

"A verran I rescued from Thessia." She informed. Aela rolled her eyes.  
"Are you home?" She called into the house walking toward the kitchen.  
"We're in here." Kaidan called from the bar room.

"Hi" Cortez called.

"Hi Steve." Aela said tossing a glance through the doorway toward them. The men seemed to be intently watching the end of a movie but Aela could tell which one.

"HI KAIDAN! Hi Steve." Jack shouted purposely trying to annoy the Major.

"Hi Jack." They both called back. Jack snickered to herself seeing Kaidan shake his head slightly.

"You want a beer?" Aela asked Jack, heading toward the fridge.

"Sure." Jack replied. Aela looked over the fridge confused, than headed into the bar room and started digging through there.

"What are you looking for?" Kaidan asked softly, looking down toward her behind the bar.

"A beer for Jack but I can't find any." She said looking over at him out stretched across the couch by the fireplace. Cortez sat on the other fully enraptured in the movie.  
"That's because I didn't buy any." He informed.  
"Why?" She asked and he stared at her with an amused look waiting for her to get it. "Oh." She said quietly remembering that she couldn't drink it so he hadn't wanted to torture her by buying things she could have. She headed back over to the kitchen.

"Sorry we are fresh out do you want …Juice…or water?" she asked eyeing the contents of the fridge once more.

"Juice is fine." Jack said and Aela indulged her.

"What are your plans for the night?" Aela inquired snooping through the cabinets for an idea of what to make for dinner.

"I'm supposed to meet someone for dinner but I'm not sure I should go." Jack said.  
"Why not?" Aela asked tossing a glance over to her.  
"I don't want him to read too much into it." Jack said leaning against the counter.  
"Ooo a him huh?" Aela teased spiritedly as she moved to the pantry.  
"Yea a him." Jack said taking a drink.  
"Do you like him?" Aela asked thoroughly looking through the pantry.  
"I guess, I mean he is pretty damn good in bed." Jack said mind wondering to the night before.

"So you'll sleep with him but you won't meet him for dinner…yea..sounds logical.." Aela said shrugging and moved to inspect the freezer.

"I'm not you Shep. I don't hold out for _the one_." Jack mocked putting air quotes around, the one.

"I wasn't saying you had to. I was just saying it couldn't hurt to have dinner with him." Aela said grabbing a pint of ice cream and two spoons than walking over to Jack and handing her a spoon and removed the lid.

"You don't know that it could lead to my inevitable death." Jack protested softly scooping out some ice cream.

"You're so dramatic. Clearly you're attracted to him or you wouldn't have slept with him." Aela pointed out taking a bite.  
"I fucked him cause I was horny that has nothing to do with liking him." Jack dismissed.

"Oh really so would you have sex with me if you were horny?" Aela inquired teasingly.  
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Jack purred back with mock flirtatiousness.  
"Whatever. Just meet him as friend I know that's hard for you because you see people in two categories: those you will have sex with and those you will kill but just for half a second add a third."  
"Hey sometimes those two categories mix." Jack said pointed the spoon at Aela.

"I'm so sure they do." Aela sighed.

"So you think I should go?" Jack asked making a face.  
"I think it couldn't hurt." Aela suggested taking another bite of ice cream. Jack sighed and after a few minutes said:

"I guess Vega deserves that much." Aela's eyes widened and flicked over to the Kaidan laying in the other room.  
"V-vega? You're meeting Vega?" She asked as quietly as possible.  
"Yea." Jack said taking another bite of ice cream.  
"Wait, wait when did you sleep with him?" Aela asked keeping her voice low confusion washing over her.  
"Last night." Jack shrugged.  
"_When_ last night?" Aela asked in all seriousness causing Jack to look at her.

"Around mid-night, why?" Jack asked confusion running over her.  
"aw fuck…" Aela gabbed jack and dragged her up stairs to the other guest room and into the closet so no one could hear them. "Do not say his name around Kaidan for a while…...OK?... Vega kind of….. walked in on Kaidan and me last night."

"Walked in on you what? Watching your stories?" Jack taunted. Aela gave Jack an annoyed look and said.

"No he walked in on me on top of Kaidan."  
"Oh ho ho shit." Jack laughed. "It all makes sense now."

"How does this make sense?" Aela asked.  
"Well because he was always so unsure of us fucking but last night he was like, in a real hurry all of sudden. I guess seeing all of this in action sent him over the edge." Jack taunted groping Aela's breast playfully.

"Ow gentle." She hissed.

"Sorry." Jack said retracting her hands. She laughed softly poking at Aela's ribs for a few minutes.

"Personally I think you two are perfect for each other." Aela said with a self-satisfied look on her face.  
"Shut up Shepard or I will scream his name through the whole damn house." Jack warned causing Aela to laugh.

"OK truce." Aela said and they headed back down stairs.


	45. Miranda's Visit

**A/N:** This is mostly just a filler chapter sorry i had written this chapter to include Vega's dinner with Jack but i lost the mojo to write it in the middle of it -_- Sorry hope you like this one...

* * *

"Nice place Shepard. Not usually the part of town I'd associate you with." Miranda teased and Aela bit her tongue. She couldn't believe she had invited her over. Miranda was like that stray dog you feed on accident out of pity but then it keeps coming back for more, becoming more and more annoying till it's gone…than you miss it.

"What brought you back?" Aela asked looking around the fridge for some juice.

"I was hearing some strange reports. Sounded like you lost your mind." Miranda said playfully sitting at the island.  
"No shit. Yea my accounts got hacked… among other things…I bet the news had a field day." Aela scoffed tossing a water bottle to Miranda, and headed for the living room.

"It did. So.. A clone?" The brunette asked teasingly following close behind. Aela squinted at the blue eyed woman over her right shoulder and asked:  
"Did you know anything about this?" skeptically.

"Just rumors. Nothing really caught my attention. But about this Brooks…" Miranda said with interest.

"What do you know?" Aela pried. Not that it mattered anymore. Dumbass thought she could out run Aela. But she never misses her shot.  
"Not as Brooks, but as 'Hope Lilium'. Another lie, surely. She put together the dossiers on your crew for the illusive man. Never really paid attention to her…Interesting. My focus at the time was bringing you back. The real deal not a cheap knock off. I mean really a clone?" Miranda asked making a face standing next to the fire place.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?" Aela asked taking seat on the far couch. Miranda smirked at her for a moment than said:

"Well I'm not sure the galaxy could survive with two Shepard….think of the property damage." Aela gave a look that said she agreed and took a sip of her juice while Miranda tossed a look over her shoulder out the large window.  
"Aw.. They shut down my favorite sushi place." The brunette said softly. Aela tossed a look out the window.  
"That's….a… shame." She said leisurely turning back around. Miranda eyed the Commander suspiciously and walked over to her line of site.  
"Shepard, you didn't…" She asked. Aela flicker her eyes up to the brunettes for a moment and shrugged.  
"I did.. Fell right through the damn fish tank." She muttered recalling the memory.  
"How did you manage that?" Miranda asked in confusion.

"It….exploded." Aela admitted sheepishly while Miranda rolled her eyes. "Hey it was the clone's idea. Not mine." She defended sarcastically.  
"Blowing up a fish tank shouldn't be anybody's idea. Although executing marine life seems to be some sort of hobby for you...No wonder your clone couldn't resist." She jested at Aela.

"Yea it was the first step in taking over my life apparently. Step 1: Kill fish Step 2: Swap our hand prints out and steal control codes for the Normandy.." Aela said with her dry humor.  
"Why did it want your life? Why would anyone? All that running, jumping …gunfire… It's crazy." Miranda said taking a seat next to her.  
"I happen to like it that way…." Aela said playfully. "Besides what woman wouldn't want to come home to that slowly truing silver, fox I call my husband?"

"He's too uptight for me." Miranda said taking a drink of her water and looking over the apartment. Aela looked at the brunette making a face that said: _Really? HE's too UPTIGHT for YOU?!_  
"Wow…" Was all she managed to say looking over the room and shaking her head.

"Well with all this clone business.. How do I know you're the real Shepard?" Miranda asked after a few moments.  
"What? Don't you recognize your own handy work?" Aela teased.  
"It's not like I carved my initials into the corner." Miranda said.  
"Are you sure? I'm pretty sure there's a tattoo on my ass that wasn't there before." Aela taunted.  
"That was not me. I'd blame Jack for that one." Miranda was quick to retort.  
"Ohh what? You two still haven't kissed and made up." Aela chuckled.

"You're pushing it Shepard." Miranda said with annoyance building  
"There see now you should know it's me." Aela said with a beaming smile.  
"ugh..I guess I'm stuck with you." The Brunette sighed.

"You know when this is over I promised Jack a battle between you two and I'm the referee." She gloated.  
"Oh gawd." Miranda bemoaned rolling her eye.  
"Oh yea.. I'm thinking….Mud wrestling contest. Hands down.." Aela taunted happily. Very few things made her as happy as seeing Miranda squirm.

"Christ why did I come here?" Miranda huffed get up off the couch.  
"Good question, why did you?" Aela asked playfully with and asshole half grin on her face.

"You invited me." The brunette said smugly.  
"You asked me to." Aela corrected.

"Fine I guess I'll go than." Miranda said dejectedly and turned for the door.  
"Wait…." Aela stopped her, getting up off the couch and crossing the room to her, "have you found your sister?" She asked with true concern. Miranda stood quietly for a few minutes  
"I have an idea…. It has something to do with Sanctuary I know it." She said tossing a look over her shoulder.

"Look, I may bust your balls all day but if your sister needs help just say the word and I'm there." Aela said austerely.  
"I know Shepard…thank you." Miranda said softly making Aela a bit uncomfortable.

"Now get out of here before I start liking you." Aela said cracking her neck and heading toward the kitchen. Miranda smirked knowing Shepard wasn't good with 'liking people'.

"See you around Commander." She said softly and walked out the door.


	46. ni shí- ajéí (you are my heart)

**A/N:** Sorry it took so long brethren and sistren ( lol) I kept running off with different scenarios and conversations but i liked this one the best. Hope fully you enjoy... i didn't know how to end the chapter so hopefully it doesn't suck too bad.

* * *

Aela lay in bed snuggling close into Kaidan content from their love making.

"I wish we did this more." She sighed happily against his chest.  
"I'm pretty sure we do this a lot." He chuckled.

"No I mean just relax like this..perv." She said playfully.  
"Oh forgive me." He teased placing a loving kiss on the top of her head.

"You're forgiven." She teased back. They lie quietly enjoying each other's company and the relaxing atmosphere. "As much as I've loved the down time, I kinda miss the Normandy."

"That makes one of us." He snorted  
"Well I can't wait to get back to kicking reapers ass so we can have more down time like this." She drawled  
"So you're in a hurry to do nothing?" he inquired lightheartedly.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"You're on Medical Leave, remember?" He reminded softly.

"I'm more then positive you have helped me relax the past four days. Chloe or Karin will examine me again when we get back and I'll be taken off Convalescent Leave." She stated.  
"Ugh you may be cleared for duty again but they aren't going to clear you for combat. You're pregnant" He said with a semi confused look on his face like that should have been obvious. Not that he was even positive that they wouldn't but he sure hoped they didn't.

"I'm not even three months yet there should be no reason I couldn't be in combat." She said looking up at him.  
"It's too strenuous on your body to go back into combat." He said with disquiet.  
"Well than it's a good thing it isn't up to you." She grumbled rolling away from him to lie on her side.  
"You're right it's up to a medical professional whose top priority is their patient's health." He said looking after her somewhat hurt by the distance she place between them.

"They're not keeping me from combat they can't" she grumbled.  
"Or what? You'll get rid of the baby?" He spat and instantly regretted saying it. He grimaced and closed his eyes knowing he just opened a can of worms. Aela shot a look over at him stunned momentarily.

"How long have you been holding that one in?" She asked studying his expression.  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He said trying to recover from his previous statement. His amber eyes were filled with apology and anxiety as he looked over at her.  
"No clearly you did or you wouldn't have said it." She said. He sighed in regret and got up quietly and went to the closet to grab some cloths remaining silent. "If you have something to say, say it." She pressed sitting up onto her knees and watched him. The tension on his body was visible, and his demeanor reminded her of how he used to be when they first met on the Normandy SR-1, all overwrought and in control.

"I don't have anything to say." He said quietly sifting through his drawers. She could tell he was holding something in and it was staring to piss her off.

"Bullshit." She hissed from the bed watching him as he shook his head pulling his underwear on than a navy blue t shirt. "I'm a big girl Kaidan I can take it." He slammed the drawer shut and leaned against the dresser clenching his teeth.

"You said you would stop trying to pick a fight with me." He said lowly, tossing an angry glance over to her.

"You said you'd never lie to me yet you just did. I know you have something to say so say it!" She pressed almost shouting.

"Oh for fuck sake, we are on leave and you are supposed to be relaxing not starting fights and stressing yourself out more. For three days you've been running around like crazy. It's like we're not on Shore Leave at all! You have to meet Jack at the combat sim and then go bail out Grunt form Jail and help Javik with whatever that was and to top it off you had to stop your clone from taking over your life. It's one thing after another. I just want you to take a breather and re-fucking-lax! Lay in bed all day watching movies for all I care just stop running around in every direction. I don't think I've seen you sit down and truly relax once since we've been here….scratch that I've seen you sit down and relax exactly once when Samara came over to visit." He vented taking her off guard a bit. He had just wanted her to relax and stop worrying about everyone else for once and take care of herself. She looked him over curiously her anger subsiding for now.

"I hardly call playing Shattered Eezo with Jacob or Claw with Zaeed a strenuous task." She said trying to ease the situation. He was clearly worried about her wellbeing but she wasn't sure why. Yea she had been 'running around' as he called it but it wasn't like a life or death situation. "What is the real reason you're so tense?" She asked gently. He rested against the dresser, burring his face in his hands.

"I feel like I'm the only one who wants the baby." He admitted from under his palms. "I mean yea, you didn't go through with the abortion but that doesn't mean you're going to take care of yourself to make sure you don't miscarry." He said putting his hands down on the dresser refusing to look at her. She closed her eyes and mentally kicker herself. _If I hadn't asked that stupid question._ She sighed understandingly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ask that question. I was just thinking it and it fell out of my mouth and now…." She trailed off looking around the room for an answer. He looked over at her as she looked back up at him and their eyes met. "What can I do to convince you?" She asked amiably "Besides not going into combat because that isn't going to happen." She amended. He smirked momentarily.

"Well we don't know if they are going to clear you for combat or not. But if they do…for starters it would be nice if you could not charge your target across the room leaving me to try and cover you." He said his frustration settling.

"Ok….." She agreed lovingly "What else?" He studied her a moment then walked over to the doorway of the closet.

"I would prefer if you could try not to engage your target head on and actually stay your ass behind cover." He added watching the gentle smile cross her lips.

"Ok…anything else?" She asked as he closed the space between them and sat at the edge of the bed.

"Stay close to me." He said softly crawling over to her. Her smile widened and she acquiesced once again.  
"Ok." She barely whispered as his lips founder her left shoulder. He gave a gentle kiss then placed his forehead in the crook of her neck. He encircled her in his arms and sat back pulling her against him in a tight embrace.

"I feel extremely protective of you now." He admitted quietly into her hair as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Well than I guess I'll just have to let you protect me." She said playfully. He chuckled against her and asked.

"Really? You're not going to be too stubborn about it?" She remained quiet for a moment and then said:

"Ok I'll _try_ to let you protect me. No promises." She said playfully in his ear.  
"There it is." He chuckled softly.  
"I'm trying to be less stubborn." She said enjoying the feel of his lips on her skin as he kissed her neck.  
"Trying, not succeeding." He said between kisses.

"Gee thanks." She sighed and lay back taking him with her.  
"You're welcome my love." He whispered over her skin, supporting himself up on his hands and knees over her.  
"**ni shí- ajéí**" She replied softly. He paused his lips ascent over her body a moment in thought, knitting his brows in concentration.

"You didn't teach me that….that didn't sound like your native language either." He said, and continued over her neckline.  
"It's Navajo. It means you are my heart." She breathed into his hair. He lifted his head looking her in the eye with a lifted brow and asked:

"Do you switch languages on me a lot?" Thinking back to multiple times she grumbled off into what he thought was her native language but couldn't understand her.  
"Not a lot… But I do butcher my native languages together. I speak Navajo, Cherokee and Juaneno." She said  
"Ah." He said and returned his lips to her skin traveling down from her collar bone.

"Gotta keep you on your toes somehow." She sighed playfully.  
"Oh you do that enough." He said as his tongue found her nipple and brushed it gently. She sucked in a sharp blissful breath and tugged at his shirt.

"Why did you put close on?" She asked pulling the material over his head and tossing it aside.

"I have no idea." He admitted and continued his ministrations to her body.

* * *

(Later that day)

Aela lay on the couch near the piano in the living room reading a book on her datapad.

"Are you hungry?" Kaidan asked coming down the stairs and heading into the kitchen.

"Mmm yea." She said sitting up and placing the datapad on the coffee table.

"Don't move." He said quickly taking her by surprise. For a moment she thought something was wrong and looked at him attentively. "I'll make us some sandwiches you just relax the way you were." He continued, opening the fridge and pulling out the Lettuce, tomatoes, and deli meat. She relaxed.

"Ok." She agreed trying to humor him and lay back down. "Do we have tuna?" she asked after a craving struck her. He moved to the pantry and dug out a small can.

"Yes." He said and proceeded to make it the way she liked. They heard the buzzer at the door go off and she was about to get the door when he once again told her not to move.

"Liara, Hi." Kaidan said opening the door and gestured for her to enter.

"Hey Liara…" Aela greeted in confusion, sitting up on the couch, as Kaidan let the asari in.

"Hello Shepard…Kaidan." She smiled upon entering with a datapad and a measuring tape in hand.

"What's with those?" Aela asked as Liara came around the side of the couch.

"I'm ordering your armor and need your measurements." She said.

"I didn't ask you to order me armor" Aela said eyeing the asari suspiciously "…with Thessia…you know…can you even get ahold of your contacts that made my armor?" She inquired.

"I assumed since you were pregnant you would want new armor with higher Kinetic Barriers as well as some room for weight gain. Asari Commandos are expected to be in combat almost until they give birth, and the citadel still has a few shops that make custom armor." She said placing the datapad on the coffee table. Aela and Kaidan stared at the asari in shock.

"How did you know?" Aela asked tossing a look over to Kaidan who shook his head to let her know he hadn't said anything, while retreating to the kitchen to make lunch.

"I'm the shadow broker I know everything." Was all Liara offered and held out her hand to help Aela off the couch. Aela rolled her eyes taking her hand and got up from the couch. Liara proceeded to take measurements of Aela's hips, waist, rib cage and bust, much to her displeasure.

"So are you ready to head back to the Normandy tomorrow?" Aela asked through the awkward silence eliciting a moan of unhappiness from Kaidan in the kitchen.

"Yes and No. It's been nice to just spend time with everyone and relax. But on the other hand it's felt like an illusion since we all know what's really going on. On Earth, Palaven…..Thessia.." Liara trialed off in thought continuing her task.  
"Yea." Aela sighed understandingly.

"Are you hungry Liara? Do you want me to make you something I was just making lunch for Aela and myself but I'm sure we have enough for you too." Kaidan offered trying to change the subject for the asari.

"Oh no Kaidan thank you. I didn't mean to barge in here like I did I just wanted to get this order in today so Shepard could pick it up tomorrow before we leave." Liara said gratefully.

"Are you sure?" he asked halfway done with making a sandwich for her anyway.

"No really. I don't want to impose." She said adding the measurements to her datapad.

"Too late." He said brining two plates over to them, one for Liara and the other Aela.

"Thank you my love." Aela said taking the plate and sitting back down on the couch.

"Oh…thank you." Liara said shyly taking the plate from him.

"You're welcome. Why don't you hang out for a while? Seems like everyone has come and spent time here at some point but you." He said walking back to the kitchen to get his food.

"Oh I don't want to over stay my welcome, with us leaving tomorrow I'm sure you two would like some alone time." She said coquettishly.

"Oh come on I'm pretty sure an hour won't kill us." He said taking a seat next to Aela.

"Yea Liara stay." Aela said taking a bite of her sandwich.

"Oh..ok." The asari agreed taking a seat on the opposite couch.

"So what did you do on our brief time off?" Aela inquired between bites.

"The same thing I do on the Normandy mostly. Check in with my contacts and procure provisions." Liara said taking a bite. "mmm this is good. What is this?" The asari asked.

"It's turkey…or it's supposed to be." Kaidan said. "I'm not sure if it actually is or if it's an imitation. It tastes the same." He admitted.

"Well it tastes fantastic." She commended.

"Seriously? You didn't take any time to yourself?" Aela asked with incredulity.

"I'd be a very silent broker of I did." Liara said.

"Well when this is all over you'll have to take some time to yourself. Let Glyph run things for a day." Kaidan joked.

"I couldn't do that! He isn't programmed to maintain the proper…..You were joking…" Liara said bashfully  
"Nah." He said playfully and Aela giggled. Liara eyed the happy couple a moment.

"When this is over we should have a big party to celebrate your marriage and your gravidity." The asari said and Aela started to cough, choking on her sandwich. Kaidan patted her back firmly hoping nothing got stuck in her windpipe.

"No." Aela wheezed looking over at Liara. "Don't say anything." She threatened.

"I won't. I know how you like your privacy." Liara said playfully. Even as the shadow broker she only knew rumors about Shepard unless she came and spoke with her personally.

"Thank you." Aela said cleaning her throat.

"You never did like attention." Liara said.

"No but it seems to follow me everywhere." Aela grumbled.

"It's just because you're so pretty." Kaidan said playfully and kissed her cheek.

"Ugh huh sure." Aela said taking her plate to the sink. Liara followed.

"This was nice. Thank you Kaidan, Shepard. But I really need to get these measurements in. I'll see you tomorrow." The asari thanked and headed for the door.

"See you tomorrow." The said back.

* * *

Ni = You

shí- = my

ajéí = Heart


End file.
